The Unexpected Twist of Fate
by Fluorescens
Summary: Tragedy strikes the Prince of the Western Lands when Naraku begins a quest to bring an ancient prophet back from the grave in order to see his future. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**The Game of Chess.**

Naraku looked at the nihility youkai and pursed his lips a little. He was not one to bow down to Fate, nor even believed in such stuff. If it was true, Fate had simply dealt him harshly and cruelly, until he tried to turn it around.

Successfully with the precious jewel in his possession of course, the Shikon no Tama.

He felt for its presence within the eye in his upper torso and thought about the repercussions that could follow if he took her advice. He would go down on a whole new path if he chose to believe what his nihility detachment had said, even though she did not seem one to betray or deceive him. Her loyalty to him had proved to be most unswerving and he had trusted her with some of his important tasks. She had never failed him and that brought a sense of consolation to him as he thought of the detachments that had betrayed him. They were afterall, somesort akin to his children.

"Kanna, is this true?" He fixed one ruthless red eye on her unusually pale complexion.

The childlike youkai nodded her head silently, her eyes staring into the space in front of her. If not for her silence and stilness, and the mysterious aura that surrounded her, she would have been thought to be a young ningen child, and quite an adorable one at that. But truth be told, she was the first and the creepiest detachment that Naraku had fashioned out from his body of accumulated masses of youkai.

Her face and petite stature belied the power and knowledge that she held within herself and her mirror, something that Naraku did not even know. True, she was a nihility youkai, one that could not contain anything and did not even exude any youki. She was simply a walking blackhole, sucking everything around her into the darkness of her mirror, if Naraku wanted to. Kanna had tried to suck in the soul of Kagome, to rid her master of this irritating miko who travelled with Inuyasha and could sense the Shikon no kakkera. But she had failed, and almost at the expense of her magical mirror. Kagome's soul was too big to be contained within the mirror, and Kanna had no choice but to release it back to her.

Kanna let out a small breath quietly, as she thought of how her sister, Kagura died. They were not related by blood, and sometimes she teased her for not thinking about her own rights as a youkai. The kaze-youkai often talked and dreamed about escaping away from Naraku's clutches and gaining her freedom. Kanna remained impassive through all these while, not understanding the desire and yearn that was reflected in the faraway look in her eyes and the wistful sighs that she heard everyday. But after Kagura was eliminated by Naraku, something struck her dense vacuum mind, that something must be done, before she faces the same fate herself. Her survival instincts began to surface slowly, bit by bit, unknown to her creator and her master.

She needed Naraku to die, but how that was to be accomplished was a big question to her. She knew that she could not do it alone, but she could play the most important, the pivotal role in this ursurp. Naraku was not easily defeated by raw powers alone, one needed to scheme against him, instead of just fighting against him in broad daylight. Kanna knew that she had to take the first step out into the battleground of the chessboard, to lead, to lure the masterpiece out. That was all that she could do, without getting herself killed or suspected by Naraku. The only thing that made her felt a little better was that unlike Kagura, she had her own heart, right inside her chest. And that implied the amount of trust that Naraku had in her, simply because he thought that Kanna would never disobey nor betray him. That was certainly an advantage to make use of.

_Perhaps... the rest will follow..._ Kanna thought of the people that had a vendetta against Naraku. It seemed to her that Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were the only two that had the capability to bring Naraku down, if they cooperated. Kikyou, the undead miko no longer posed a problem, or could be considered a powerful opponent against Naraku. He had gone through much trouble and efforts to shed away his human heart, the human part that longed and loved Kikyou. Now, Naraku did not even bother to seek Kikyou out. He merely attempted to kill her everytime they met. Kanna's heart dipped a bit at the thought of the undead miko, _too bad... she is no longer a useful tool..._

Naraku shifted his gaze away and narrowed his eyes at the piece of information that Kanna had just given to him. It might prove to be useful, _afterall... it's just like fortune telling..._

"Bring me to her," Naraku smiled to himself at the thoughts that he could perhaps better twist the future to his advantage that Fate had for him if he knew what was going to happen.

Kanna's expressionless face was not in accordance with the small sense of victory that she felt in her heart. She shook her head slowly, and spoke in her usual whispering tone, "iie. The seer is dead."

Naraku felt a flare of anger rising in his chest and his nostrils flared, "then why are you telling me all this?"

Kanna could feel the spike in his aura even though the tone of his voice remained, and felt even more victorious at his anger. This proved that he really wanted to meet the prophetic seer, and it was highly possible that he would believe whatever the seer said. She did not doubt Naraku's intelligence, but one's pride and greed could blind oneself from fact and myth, truth and lie.

"Hai, she has died several hundred years ago. Demo I know where is her burial place."

Naraku raised one eyebrow and instantly got the hint. His anger receeded and he relaxed, he could use the Shikon no kakkera to bring the seer back to life, for as long as he wanted. He could make the seer work for him, if she was as good as Kanna had said.

"Where is her burial place?" Naraku could feel the rush of adrenalin in his blood, it would be very interesting to meet this seer and hear what she had to say. Kanna had said that she was the child of a mortal ningen and the Storm God, Susa-No-Wo, and therefore had prophetic abilities to look into one's past, present and future.

Kanna shifted her fingers on the cool mirror, "it is in the core of a big mountain near the fire-lake." She thought of Kagura, and somewhat mentally prayed to her that Naraku would play into her hands, her game of chess that she had put her life as the stake.

Naraku listened intently to Kanna's hushed whisper as his excitement grew. If the seer was buried in such an unaccessible place, then all the more it pointed to the possibility that she was indeed a powerful prophetess, and perhaps shunned or feared by many.

"Prepare, we shall go," was all he said as he gestured for her to leave. Kanna obediently bowed her head and turned on her heels, not making a sound as her naked feet made their way out of his room. She tightened the grasp on her mirror and narrowed her pale irises slightly, the game of chess had begun.

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Naraku stood motionless at the foot of the mountain while Kanna nodded, "this is it." Naraku arched his black eyebrow at the dense growth of shrubbery in front of him. The mountain looked as if no one had ever gone near it for a century, nor tried to hack a path through. He mused to himself, ihow can anything grow here with the scorching heat from the nearby fire-lake/i But that was not an important issue and Naraku shifted his boots a little. Kanna instinctively stood behind him and waited.

Long thick spiky tentacles grew from his back, resembling legs of a spider as they stretched forward, pulling apart the dense growth, rocks, trees to make a way for them. All this was accomplished effortlessly within a matter of few minutes and a red translucent sphere encircled both Naraku and Kanna within as they sped forward to the deepest core of the mountain in his impenetrable kekai.

It was a long winding path, and Naraku had to pave the way continuously for the sunlight to shine through from their back. The red kekai protected both master and servant and they did not know how long this went on until Naraku's tentacles touched nothing. They stopped, hovering in mid-air in total pitch darkness. Kanna surmised that they must have gone very far deep, for even the sunlight could not reach here.

Naraku frowned slightly, the air was too still, and too heavy, weighing down on his lungs and he found it a little hard to breathe. _Evil and unrest..._ The red kekai glowed brightly, lending light to their surroundings and Kanna widened her eyes just by a fraction at what she saw.

They were in what seemed to be like an empty cave, roundish in shape, but nothing was here. The jagged walls were adorned with green and vermillion fungus, which was most unusual since it could not be humid considering the depth of this place inside the mountain. Naraku let down the kekai and Kanna floated down, holding the mirror away from her and pointing it to the ground. She walked around the unusually flat ground unhurriedly, her vacant eyes not revealing her emotions. When she approached the center, a round bright white glow was casted onto the ground from her mirror. Kanna stopped and looked up to her master, "her remnants are buried here."

Naraku smirked and began to dig at the chosen spot with his tentacles, soon uncovering an earthen clay pot. Kanna placed her mirror on the ground carefully and knelt down, carrying the small pot in her hands and looked up to Naraku. An evil smile appeared on his smooth handsome face, the glow from the red kekai seemed to make his red eyes shine in the dark.

Kanna seemed to understand his intention and tried to lift up the lid of the clay pot, albeit a bit unwillingly since Naraku obviously did not want to go near the remains of the evil seer. She pushed down the trickle of anger that rose up to her chest that Naraku seldom put himself at the frontline, always manipulating everything behind safely in his comfortable room. Kanna tried to peel off the ofuda that draped over the lid and the moment her fingers touched the ofuda, she withdraw them hastily and looked up to her master.

Naraku smiled to himself at her burnt fingers and touched the edge of the ofuda with one finger, which instantly sizzled and melted away to Kanna's surprise. When the lid was lifted, fine grayish powder flew up and out into the air, swirling around. The air instantly became heavier, as if it was lead and Kanna found it harder to breathe and her face turned even paler. The greenish fungus wiltered and sizzled, changing to a dark brown color as they fell from the walls.

Naraku snorted at the malevolent display and the evil that hung heavily in the air, inwardly doubting the holy origins of this female seer. "Should you not be glad that we have released you?" his sarcastic voice echoed.

The mists of gray ashes concentrated into a figure-like image and asked back, "state your purpose, I am no fool." The feminine voice made Kanna's skin crawl. It was hollow, yet had a feel of solidness to it. Soft, yet the evil of it seemed to drip from her words onto Kanna's head, to which she flinched away a little.

Naraku smiled and folded his arms, "I will make a deal with you, how does that seem to you"  
The hazy figure swayed and paused, as if not sure what to make out of it.

Naraku continued, "I will bring you back to life again, only you must help me when I ask of it"  
The figure floated to his front, seemingly to stare into his red eyes, "do you have that power?"

He stretched out his right palm, faced up. Lying on top of it was several tainted Shikon no kakkera. The figure swayed and shook while Kanna placed the lid over the clay pot and picked up her precious mirror.

"I will take it," the hollow creepy voice finally responded.

Naraku smirked and tossed the three purple shards at the misty figure. The purple shards disappeared into a sudden whirlpool of gray ash and before Kanna knew it, a woman, dressed in the most ancient kimono that she had ever seen, was standing right beside her.

Naraku arched both eyebrows at the beauty in front of him. Her hair was dark and smooth, her skin was porcelain-like and her lips were small and pouty. She was not tall, and the kimono could not hide her curvaceous figure. But her eyes were just like Naraku's, full of hatred and evil. The disturbing waves that Kanna felt caused her to shift away from the seer.

"So... I see that you are an extreme beauty," Naraku smiled.  
The seer tilted her chin up arrogantly, "you have not sought me out to pay me a compliment of which that I already know of."

Naraku's smile widened, he was beginning to like this seer. She was beautiful, as evil as him, and was not afraid of him. He loved a bit of retaliation from his women and enemies, it spiced up everything. He wondered how she would look when she was naked with him, but pushed that thought away and crossed his arms.

"I need you to look into the future for me"  
The seer looked into his gleaming red eyes for a while before she spoke, "it is regarding the Shikon no Tama, isn't it?"

Naraku smiled again, _she is really a good one..._

The seer threw her head back and laughed out loud. Kanna thought the seer was mocking her master and wondered what her demise would be like.

The smile was swept off his face and he frowned, the muscles in his arms tightening a little. He did not understand why the seer had reacted in such a manner, was she mocking at him, or merely relieved at such a simple request, or it was just impossible?

The seer stopped her laughter and stared into his eyes again, "I will do it."

Naraku decided not to pursue the matter until she had foretold the future. He would be done with her as soon as possible, for he was not one to take mockery lightly. The seer floated out from her burial place like a ghost, along the winding path and stopped at the fire-lake. Kanna followed as fast as she could while Naraku sped after the seer.

The ground was incredibly hot, and Kanna could see heated air sizzling off from the undisturbed lake. The seer closed her eyes and took in a deep breath of air, "it has been so long that I have almost forgotten how fresh air smells like..." Naraku waited patiently until her dark eyes snapped open, to which she commanded stiffly, "put your right hand into the lake."

Naraku raised his left eyebrow, and the seer nodded her head reassuringly. He then took a few steps forward to the shore, and dipped his right hand slowly into the lake, fully expecting a hot and burning sensation. However, when his right hand was fully submerged into the lake up to his wrist, all he felt was a prickly sensation on the skin around his hand. Naraku was awed at the coolness of the waters and tried to look into it.

"Iie, it will pull you in."

Naraku immediately averted his gaze away and focused on the seer, who was by now standing by his side. She raised both her hands up to chest-level over the lake, murmuring to herself to which both Naraku and Kanna could only guessed that she was chanting.

After a short while, ripples began to appear on the smooth surface of the lake, beginning from where his hand was submerged, slowly spreading outwards in perfect concentric circles, as if it was an unstoppable chain reaction. The prickling sensation turned into a tingling sensation all over his body and Naraku started to feel a slight burning sensation at his fingertips.

The seer continued her chanting as if nothing had happened, her eyes were glazed and the ripples continued to spread and grow until it reached the ends of the whole wide lake. She then abruptly stopped at the right timing, broke the skin on her right forefinger with her teeth and allowed three drops of her blood into the lake.

_Tup.  
Tup.  
Tup._

The concentric ripples broke and started to sway from side to side haphazardly. Kanna took one small step forward to get a better view of what was happening, even though she did not like the seer very much. The seer put her hands behind her back and leaned forward a little, "now, look into the lake, you will see your future here."

Naraku widened his eyes and looked curiously into the lurid lake, wondering with excitement at what his future held for him. The surface of the lake suddenly calmed down and an image of the completed Shikon no Tama, tainted in all its purplish-black glory appeared before him. Naraku could not refrain the greedy smile on his face, it was obviously going to be completed by him. Another image of him holding the completed Shikon no Tama appeared, and his smile widened, his heart beating faster to the excitement of the next image.

But, this second image was suddenly dispersed, as if someone had thrown a rock into the lake. Naraku frowned and before he could say anything, a third image appeared. It was hazy initially as the waters took time to calm down and for the lake surface to be smooth again.

Naraku's frown deepened as the third image focused and the edges sharpened. Kanna saw the backview of two people, and they had long silver hair. The ripples came back to the water and the seer stood straight again, crossing her arms and smirking, "that is all."

Naraku fished his wet hand out from the lake, all ready to kill the seer and take back his three shikon shards. He was seething with anger at the third image, not wanting to believe but yet at the same time, the image would not leave his mind. He was now bound to fear, that he might lose the Shikon no Tama, that his ambitions and goals might not be fufilled. Instilling fear in others was one thing he exceled in, but now that he was suffering from it, he did not like it at all.

The seer took a step back, "don't look at me like that, no one can change their Fate. You sought me out to take a look into your future, and this is it." There was a slight tremble in her voice, as if she was afraid that Naraku might go back on his promise and she would lose her newly regained precious life. Kanna stepped aside, her face not revealing any expressions even though her mind was spinning over the three images that had appeared on the fire-lake.

Before Naraku could stretch out one of his tentacles, he felt a sudden presence of alarming youki behind him and turned around smoothly, with a cool twisted smile on his face.

"Sesshoumaru, what a surprise."

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A/N: Hi all, this is the first time Im posting my fic here in I previously posted this under A Single Spark so... well, do review and let me know. )

youkai - demon  
Shikon no Tama - jewel of four souls  
ningen - human miko - priestess  
Shikon no kakkera - shikon shards  
kaze - wind  
iie - no  
hai - yes  
demo - but  
Susa-No-Wo - a Storm God that the Japanese believed in (google yrself to check up more info)  
kekai - barrier ofuda - charm that Miroku always uses


	2. Chapter 2

**The Poison.**

Kanna was jerked away from her train of thoughts and looked up. She had been so concentrated in deciphering the visions concerning Naraku's fate and working out a plan that she did not sense the taiyoukai coming at all. It was either that, or he was just simply fast.

Sesshoumaru tilted his chin up a little to the side, his eyes focusing on the strange looking woman behind Naraku. It was obvious to him that the woman was not human and was entranced with him. The seer was obviously shocked at his sudden, silent entrance and could not tear her gaze away from Sesshoumaru, nor the way the ends of his silver hair swayed with the light hot breeze.

"Naraku, it seems that this Sesshoumaru has caught you in the middle of something huh?" His low voice sailed smoothly, breaking the seemingly long silence and slicing the tension between them like a sharp scythe.

Naraku narrowed his eyes a little and before Kanna knew it, he had hurled out one of his tentacles, plunged it straight through the seer's abdomen and brought out three purplish Shikon no kakkera. The seer gave out a strangled desperate shriek before she dissolved into a mist of gray ashes over the fire-lake.

Sesshoumaru remained unperturbed to what had happened and took Toukijin out from his obi gracefully and unhurriedly, pointing the end of the demonic blade at Naraku. He was not concerned with what Naraku was doing at such a remote and hot place, "this Sesshoumaru shall end everything today, you pathetic hanyou!"

In a blur of white, Sesshoumaru dashed forward with Toukijin raised up across his chest while adjusting the angle of the blade with his wrist. Naraku for the first time did not let out a victorious or evil smirk. He was too angry with the last image he had seen with his own eyes and simply remained inside the red kekai that he erected instaneously when Sesshoumaru charged towards him.

The tip of Toukijin bounced off the kekai as if it was hacking at some elastic ball and Sesshoumaru gracefully flipped backwards on his two feet, not a single strand of his silver hair out of the place. He smirked, "I see that you are still a coward, preferring to hide in that little kekai of yours."

Sesshoumaru's voice was laced with sarcasm and Kanna frowned just a little, her thin eyebrows straightening into a line. She needed the two inu-brothers to work together, at the right time. Not now. She shifted her position to the back of her master, not wanting to be in the way of the attack, even though she knew that Sesshoumaru was not interested in her at all. Kanna could hardly consider herself as a worthy opponent against this taiyoukai.

Naraku pressed his lips together firmly, and his red eyes were ablaze and glinting. Sesshoumaru arched one of his eyebrows, it was rare to see Naraku displaying anger and losing his cool. _Is he afraid of me then?_

"Sesshoumaru, you have opposed me for a long while... perhaps it is time for me to settle this with you once and for all, now." Naraku could not forget the backview of the two people who could possibly spoil his ultimate goal and get in his way. That masses of silver hair was unmistakeable. He would put a stop to it, he would get rid of these two irritating siblings as soon as possible.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his cold golden eyes at the vile hanyou's boastful threats, he tightened his grip on the hilt of Toukijin and lashed out a burst of energy with one single swipe without another word. The streaks of reddish light emitted from Toukijin touched Naraku's red kekai, in which the whole area was encompassed in a blinding light that Kanna had to turn her face away. Cracks appeared in the ground and rocks of all sizes were flung into the sky.

iJyaki/i Sesshoumaru smirked as the humongous mass of black deadly miasma surrounded him. He himself was an expert user and producer of poison, such miasma would be of no use to him. He tucked Toukijin back into his obi and called forth a string of his youki from his two right fingers and sliced the dense mass of miasma before him neatly into two. He could see an arc of bright green slashing across the black clouds but Naraku was not in front of him.

"Osoi," Naraku's slick voice appeared behind him, too close for comfort, to which Sesshoumaru spun around and instantly sprang away. But a long tentacle was already out and plunged straight right into his abdomen. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened in initial shock that he had been caught by such a dirty trick, to which he subsequently glared at the smirking hanyou as the tentacle pierced through his stomach cavity and came out through his back.

Sesshoumaru felt his strength slowly seeping away with his blood as it created a big growing angry red stain on his haori, slowly travelling down his pristine white silk hakamas. Intense sharp pain racketed through his whole body as he bent forward slightly, eyebrows scrunching together in an angry violent frown. The edges of his cool golden eyes were tinged with crimson and some of his silver hair got stuck to the sticky patch of blood on the small of his back.

Sesshoumaru swiftly sliced the tentacle away with his sharp claws in one big swipe and flipped backwards, landing steadily on both feet. He tried to pull his back straight but the pain from the stretched wound forced him to stop before it got worse. Sesshoumaru bent his knees and back a little and looked up to face Naraku, who was standing a distance away with a victorious smile on his face. Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth and pulled out the remaining tentacle that was still embedded within his flesh, not wanting to reveal any indication of pain or defeat.

_This lowly hanyou will not defeat a taiyoukai like me!_

Sesshoumaru's crimson-tinged eyes glared at Naraku as he took out Toukijin from his obi. But before he could point the katana at his arch enemy, Naraku had already dashed forward with deadly speed and flung a handful of dark gray powder at Sesshoumaru.

Kanna's big empty eyes widened, Naraku indeed had the intention to finish him off. Her heartbeat increased and she wondered for a while whether it was a wrong decision to bring him to the prophetic seer. Everything had turned out so wrong, and it seemed to Kanna that perhaps the prophetic seer was not accurate. Sesshoumaru could not be one of them to stop Naraku in his evil conquest, since he was obviously going to die.

Sesshoumaru was expecting a direct attack and was stunned at the gray powder that now covered his face and his upper torso. _Poison, huh?_ Before he could react, Naraku had delivered a hard kick at Sesshoumaru's chest and the taiyoukai fell backwards, scraping against the hot stony ground for a short distance before coming to a stop. A bright green whip came out from nowhere and lashed across Naraku's face. Naraku dodged in time but could not avoid the slight contact that stung across his left cheek.

He reached up a hand to touch the wound gingerly, there was a deep gash across his cheek and dribbles of blood were trickling down his face. Kanna could not stifle the gasp that rose from her throat as her hands tightened over the rim of her mirror. No one, had been able to deliver a wound or cut to Naraku after he had emerged from Mount Hakurei ten times stronger.

Naraku smiled to himself as he wiped the blood off and the gash healed on its own, "aa, you are afterall Sesshoumaru, the Prince of the Western Lands. I had only needed to slow you down to present to you my specially concocted poison. Seems that I myself was unable to go away without a scratch huh?"

Sesshoumaru stuck Toukijin to the ground and forced himself to sit up. The powder was scentless but it was burning his eyes and the gaping wound in his abdomen. "Hanyou, your mediocre poison would not work against this Sesshomaru!"

Naraku crossed his arms lazily, "ho? I have prepared this specially for you you know. I was not prepared to use it so early but since you have found me, this shall be a test."

Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth at the insinuation of being used as a guinea pig. He had survived through many decades and had always emerged victorious with poison users, for none could rival his own lethal acid-poison. But this powder was different, and he felt as if his eyes were on flames. He used the back of his only right hand and tried to rub away the powder that were on his eyelids. But that did not work and his vision blurred further, as the fiery pain continue to burn onto the skin around his eyes.

The sizzling pain he felt from the gaping hole in his abdomen was also stretching his threshold of tolerance and he finally spat out, "poison that enters by the eyes huh? This kind of dirty trick is expected from a hanyou like you!"

Naraku shook his head, "tsk tsk tsk. Should you not grovel at my feet begging for the antidote instead of provoking me? You will soon go blind, and then die when it infiltrates into your brain. And I wonder what can you possibly do to me, or even to Inuyasha, with the loss of your left arm and both sight?"

Sesshoumaru could feel his anger coursing through his veins and he wanted no more than to transform into his original youkai form. He, the coming Lord of the Western Lands, would not be defeated, insulted and sullied by a dirty hanyou like Naraku. But the energy would not come to his command, he was far too weak from the loss of blood and the poison to perform such a strenous transformation.

He wondered for a split second to whether he would really die here. No one was around with him to witness his demise. Images of a grubby but happy Rin laughing with an annoyed Jaken appeared in his hazy mental canvas. He could almost hear her shrilly childish laughter and suddenly, he realized that he did not touch Rin often, and he now yearned to pat her head.

"Kukukukuku... Sesshoumaru, seems that you are at the hands of my mercy now, isn't it?"

Sesshoumaru growled and released a small amount of his greenish acidic poison at his gaping wound. The poison made angry sizzling sounds and Kanna could smell the acidic smell of burnt flesh. Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth and bit his tongue hard in order not to make any sound or noise as he controlled the small doses of poison to be released. _I cannot lose anymore blood... Rin is still around somewhere..._ The coppery scent of his own blood assaulted his sensitive nose as he tried to concentrate on the task of closing the hole.

Naraku arched one of his eyebrows in surprise and laughed out loud, "do you still want to fight then? Do you want to amuse this Naraku to no end?"

Sesshoumaru was tired of hearing his speech and scratchy laughter. "Urusai," his slightly breathy voice was accompanied with a soft cough that escaped from his throat. With a speed that Naraku and Kanna did not expect from a severely wounded and poisoned youkai, Sesshoumaru gathered his remaining strength and with the rest of his senses, dashed forward and sliced Naraku into two sharp halves with Toukijin. Sesshoumaru then knelt on the ground with one knee, hand still gripping onto the hilt of Toukijin as the blade embedded itself into the ground. He was throughly drained of his strength and had to use the demonic blade to support himself into somewhat of an upright position if possible. He was a taiyoukai, feared by many and he would not lie dead on the ground like a corpse in front of his opponent. Sesshoumaru squeezed his eyes shut as another wave of burning pain hurled against his head. He knew that it would not be long before he loses his consciousness, or his life. The burning pain seemed to consume all of his senses and he felt as if his eyeballs would melt.

Naraku frowned slightly as the two halves of his body joined together seamlessly and stood in front of Sesshoumaru. He truthfully had not expected the last attack from him, even though he knew that he was a powerful, proud and arrogant taiyoukai.

"As I have said just now, today I will surely finish you off. It was a pity that I could not play with you for a bit more while," Naraku sniggered to himself, _one down. Inuyasha shall be next._

With that, he fashioned a long katana from his bones and drove it straight into Sesshoumaru's left breast. "This is my last present to you, since you seem to have a penchance for katanas." Sesshoumaru opened his mouth in silence, no sounds of pain were heard but it was written all over his face. The area surrounding his eyes was now red and burnt beyond description, his abdomen reeked of burnt flesh and his own poison. But the katana that drove through his ribcage, into the flesh, and out again caused the taiyoukai to tremble for a while, then sat on his heels and his head rolled forwards.

Blood oozed out from the chest wound, slowly dyeing his white haoris into a deep dark red. But the taiyoukai did not fall on face down, his grip still on the hilt of Toukijin as he knelt into a sitting position, back bent forward and his long silver hair cascading around him like waterfalls.

Kanna marvelled. She never held any true respect for anyone, other than Kagura. But as she witnessed the whole bloody battle, she began to respect Sesshoumaru. He was truly a taiyoukai, never one to cower in fear in front of his enemy. She was simply speechless.

Naraku smiled, he was sure that his bone-katana had pierced through Sesshoumaru's heart. He turned around calmly, as if nothing had happened and gestured for Kanna to move into his red kekai, "iku."

Kanna nodded without hesitation and inwardly sighed to herself in disappointment. The only two people who could free her from her cage were at odds, and one of them had fallen right before her eyes. She wondered whether she could pin what little hopes she had left on Inuyasha.

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taiyoukai - great youkai  
obi - sash  
hanyou - half-demon  
inu - dog  
jyaki - miasma  
osoi - slow  
haori - outer coat  
hakamas - pleated pants, normally worn for training/sparring  
katana - sword  
aa - yes, (same as "ee)  
urusai - noisy/annoying (indirectly meaning 'shut up)  
iku - go (let's go)


	3. Chapter 3

**The Two Different Groups.**

"Jaken-sama... kyou wa Sesshoumaru-sama osoi na..." Rin swung her skinny legs in the air on the draconic youkai, Ah-Un, as she twirled the stems of the wild flowers that she had gathered in her hands around for her beloved youkai lord.

"Urusai! What do you know of Sesshoumaru-sama! He has important matters to attend to and will surely come back for me!" Jaken replied annoyingly. He surmised that Sesshoumaru must have detected Naraku's scent and gave chase after it. Jaken sighed out loud as he leaned his head against his Nintoujou. Sesshoumaru had again left without another word, leaving him together with the annoying ningen child that Sesshoumaru had taken in, like a lost stray. Even though he had not said a single word, Jaken knew that by allowing Rin to follow him around, Sesshoumaru had silently admitted her as his ward.

He really wished from the bottom of his heart that Sesshoumaru would bring him along, just like in the past, even though he was not of much help at all. But Jaken felt important, as if he was really an adviser to the taiyoukai (even though he had been playing that role all along), and Sesshoumaru had once commented that he needed no one else other than him around. Jaken could never forget those words, he would dug it out from his memories everytime he felt that he was useless to Sesshoumaru or that he might be tossed away like rubbish.

"Demo..." Jaken let out another big sigh and shook his green head in despair. All had changed after Rin came into the picture. Even though Sesshoumaru did not talk to Rin often, it was obvious that he wanted her protected, from all possible harm and danger. And Rin adored him to no end, gushing about his greatness and strength and kindness endlessly the whole day. It was not difficult to see that Rin had somehow viewed and respected Sesshoumaru as a fatherly figure, but it was also blatantly painful to him that the annoying child had somehow wriggled her way into his cold private heart.

He remembered the one time when Sesshoumaru had returned from his mysterious journey within the night, and asked Rin whether she had behaved herself. Jaken caught his head with both hands at that memory and sighed louder, it seemed to him that Sesshoumaru had really taken a liking to Rin. Even his few words to Rin sounded a tad fatherly, albeit still commanding, if one knows Sesshoumaru well. Jaken doubted that he was on par with Rin's position in Sesshoumaru's heart.

"Ne Jaken-sama... will Sesshoumaru-sama be in danger?" Rin squatted beside the kappa-youkai who was leaning against one of Ah-Un's hoof and asked innocently, oblivious to the internal conflict and struggle that he was going through. Jaken glared at Rin with his bulbous yellow eyes and shouted back, "baka! Sesshoumaru-sama has never been defeated!"

Rin was slightly stunned at Jaken's angry answer and took back her childish smile. She looked into his face, his bulging yellow eyes were brimming with angry tears and he was trembling all over. A soft smile appeared on her face as she wrapped her arms around her knee-caps, "ne Jaken-sama... nakanai..."

Jaken brushed away the heavy tears with his sleeve and turned, "go away Rin!" He could not understand why Sesshoumaru had chosen to keep Rin with him and not turn her away, and he now felt wretched and helpless. He believed he had lost favour in his master's sight and was now reduced to nothing than a baby-sitter.

Rin widened her eyes at his angry tantrum and kept quiet. Her comfort did not seem to make Jaken feel better, even though she had no idea why he was crying. She got to her feet silently and tugged at the leash around Ah-Un's necks, "Ah-Un, let's go there and pick more flowers for Sesshoumaru-sama!" The draconic youkai let out a grunted sound and followed Rin obediently, there were always juicy tender green grasses around wild flowers.

After a long while, when Rin came back with a handful of colorful wild flowers in her hands and strewn petals, grassblades in her messy hair and folds of her kimono, it was already evening. Jaken was sitting at the same old spot, with his back facing her. Rin smiled and laughed as she skipped to her master's retainer, "Jaken-sama! Mitte! Mitte!"

Jaken turned his head around slowly and the worried look in his eyes stopped Rin in her tracks. She lowered her hand that was loaded with flowers and cocked her head to one side, wondering what was wrong with the kappa-youkai again.

Jaken stood up slowly, his bones creaking a bit from the long wait and he spoke in a serious tone, "Rin. We have to go and find Sesshoumaru-sama." It was unlike of Sesshoumaru not to return by the end of the day and he had been away for too long a period for Jaken to feel comfortable. He could not push away the dreaded feeling that Sesshoumaru might have met with unexpected enemies and therefore was... slowed down.

Rin knew that Jaken was serious and looked up, the sky was already getting dark and she could see the faint outline of the crescent moon at the far end of the horizon. She nodded her head once happily, "hm! Rin and Jaken-sama can surprise Sesshoumaru-sama! He is really very late today!"

Jaken frowned and shouted again, "you foolish ningen! I am worried for Sesshoumaru-sama! Do you think that this is some silly game of yours!"

Rin stopped her giggling and hung her head down, "iie. Rin is also wondering why.. demo Sesshoumaru-sama totemo tsuyoi ne?" Jaken could not help but to feel a little guilty at his sudden outburst. It seemed to him that she was more mature and sensible that he had gauged her to be. "Mochiron! Sesshoumaru-sama is a strong and powerful taiyoukai. I don't think he has forgotten about the both of us at all."

Jaken relaxed his frown and picked up his Nintoujou, "Rin, iku! We will go and look for Sesshoumaru-sama!" Ah-Un grunted again and Rin pulled the leash forward with a wide smile on her face, "hai!"

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"Shippou-chan!" Kagome picked up the kitsune-youkai from the back of his kimono with one hand. Sango snatched away the wild red berries away from the Shippou's paw and threw it away.

"Shippou, you know you shouldn't eat anything that grows in the wild. Those red berries are poisonous!" Sango chided and crossed her arms. Shippou's bright green eyes turned dark and wide, "honto ni!"

Both ladies nodded their heads in a motherly manner while Shippou hung his head down and pouted, "demo... I am really very hungry..." Kagome placed the kitsune youkai in her arms and spoke soothingly to him, "gomen ne Shippou-chan, demo you really have to bear with the hunger until we find a river or a village..." They have not had a proper meal for three days and the hunger was getting to everyone.

Miroku let out a big weary sigh, "I am also hungry, then let's look for a river shall we?" There were not many wild edible fruits around in the forest and it seemed that most of the small animals were usy building their nest and homes for hibernation in the coming winter.

"Kagome! Don't you have any ramen or snacks in your bag anymore?" Inuyasha groaned out loud. Kagome glared at the red-clad hanyou angrily, "you have eaten up the whole bag of potato chips last night! And you have the cheek to ask me!"

"Keh! It was so little! Not even enough for me to fill my stomach!" Inuyasha folded his arms crossly and turned his proud stiff back on her. Kagome clenched her fists in anger and Sango rushed forward, not wanting any more silly quarrels to break out until they have settled the problem of food.

Miroku seemed to feel the same way and placed a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder, "maa maa Inuyasha... there is no need to get so worked up. You really did finish up the last bag of Kagome-sama's tasty snacks so you better go and hunt some wild rabbits for dinner. If not we shall all starve to death here in this forest with no one to bury us."

"Houshi-sama!" Sango glared at Miroku's inappropriate use of words and led the fuming Kagome away to a bigger clearing. It was unlike of Kagome to get so agitated and angry so easily but then, _maybe its the hunger and the cold weather..._ Sango thought to herself, she could feel Kagome's tense muscles under her hands.

Miroku grinned sheepishly and leaned forward to Inuyasha, whispering softly into his ears, "if not you will get it from Kagome-sama later..." The muscles in Inuyasha's cheeks twitched a little as he imagined the craters that he would make with his head. He could almost hear Kagome's shrilly commands and smell the familiar scent of dirt in his nose.

He shrugged the monk off his shoulders and shouted, "aa! Wakaru yo!" Miroku and Sango smiled as Inuyasha jumped up and disappeared fast into the thick forest.

When nightfall had arrived, Inuyasha was back with a couple of wild dead hares. Miroku and him hastily skinned the hares and soon, they were roasting the tasty fragrant meat over the fire that they had built in the clearing. Kagome was pouring boiling water from a small kettle that she had brought along in her yellow backpack into five small cups with teabags. The group of six soon finished their dinner and for once, all of them felt really filled and satisfied. Kagome passed around cups of steaming ocha and everyone started to slurp their hot tea noisily.

"Ah... the pleasures of life..." Miroku sighed out happily as he sipped the delicious fragrant ocha slowly. Sango nodded her head and smiled as they both looked up to the lone crescent moon that hung high up in the air, while Shippou and Kirara was nestled snugly between the couple. A cold draft of wind blew by and the flames of the fire swayed and arched to one side.

"Sango, are you cold?" Miroku turned to the taijiya on his left and asked. Sango blushed and shook her head. Miroku smiled and his hand itched to go over to Sango's warm soft bouncy butt but Shippou and Kirara was snuck between them firmly. He decided to retract his hand and scratched his short hair instead, laughing out a bit nervously "sou desu ne! Let me know if you are cold!"

Kagome watched the loving scene in front of her and smiled to herself as she poked at the fire absentmindedly with a long thick twig. She felt somehow... isolated. It was not official, and none of them had said anything. But it was obvious to Kagome that Miroku and Sango loved each other, even though they expressed (or rather displayed) their affections rather differently. But their relationship had somewhat developed through such exchange of affections and they had also somehow came to a mutual conclusion that one of the reasons that they continue to live was for each other.

Miroku understood that Sango wanted to exact her revenge and save Kohaku; while Sango knew that Miroku would eventually die from his own Kazaana, and therefore could not give her any promises in regards to their future, if it was possible at all. Kagome envied both her close friends, for being able to find love, support and strength in each other, in spite of all the dreadful things that they were facing on their own, and together.

She stole a peek at the hanyou who was sitting high up in one of the trees again, leaning back against the trunk and his bare dirty feet dangling off the thick branches. She could see the faint glimmer of moonlight reflected in his eyes and he seemed to be resting, or thinking. It was not often that he was this quiet and still.

_Is he thinking of her?_ Kagome thought of the expression on Inuyasha's face when they met Kikyou a few days ago. They were battling Mouryoumaru and unexpectedly, Kikyou had arrived at the last minute and shot her hamaya at the youkai. Even though the hamaya had missed its target, it had helped to clear away the youki that was threatening Inuyasha's Tessaiga. Mouryoumaru took the opportunity to escape and the terrible battle was halted. Kagome had feared for Inuyasha's life since he had not been able to fully master the Ryuurin-scaled Tessaiga to defeat Mouryoumaru.

_He still has the same look on his face everytime he sees Kikyou..._ Kagome sighed softly to herself as she threw several more twigs for the fire. "Even the fire needs wood to continue to burn..." she mumbled to herself and wondered whether there were anymore fuel within her heart to continue the love she had for Inuyasha. _What am I doing or thinking?_ Kagome sighed out in self-defeat. She stared into the fire and watched how the flames would dance around the pile of twigs, swaying side to side and making small crackling sounds. The heat from the bright orange-reddish fire was so comforting and soothing and it was soon before Kagome closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

When Kagome woke up, she realized that someone had helped her into her sleeping bag. She smiled to herself, _Inuyasha..._ The fire had shrank considerably and someone had helped to clear the kettle and cups too. Kagome cast a grateful look at Sango who was now sleeping soundly beside her neko-youkai pet. Shippou was snuggled up against the furry Kirara for warmth and Miroku was lying beside them, facing Sango, always. Kagome could not help but to feel sad for herself. Inuyasha never slept anywhere near her, even though he was very able in protecting her. He seldom slept for long, and always chose to rest high up in the tree or at a distance away from the group.

Even though Inuyasha had always said that he wanted to watch out for any enemies or intruders, Kagome knew that it was more of because he was not comfortable with people getting too close to him, not even Miroku, Sango nor Shippou. Kagome glanced around and sure enough, she saw Inuyasha resting against a big boulder some distance away. Her delicate eyebrows drooped to the side, fully understanding why Inuyasha wanted to keep a distance between him and his team-mates.

_He probably does not want to feel too hurt if anyone of us die in the future..._

Kagome pulled the cover up a little to her neck, the night was chilly. She looked straight up into the cloudless midnight sky, the clearing also provided an excellent view of the skies and hundreds of small sparkly stars dotted across the skies, some swirling around each other in clusters while some were alone, shining as bright as they could on their own.

She closed her eyes as she felt a stab of pain in her heart. Kagome had not exactly pin-pointed the reasons why she had fallen in love with Inuyasha. But she knew that wanting to bridge the gap, to heal the wound in Inuyasha's heart was one of them. She had even succeeded to a great extent, for Inuyasha had learnt to trust and rely, but he had always restricted himself, never really going all full out, nor depend on others. That was a self-defense and self-protective mechanism that she could never undo unless Inuyasha was willing.

_Perhaps that is not so bad afterall,_ Kagome told herself. No one really wanted to get hurt, and she would not push Inuyasha further if he was uncomfortable. She knew that it was also highly unlikely for Inuyasha to really change his mindset until his nemesis, Naraku is dead. It was really Naraku who kept Inuyasha on his edges every single day.

Her mind automatically rewound itself to the part when Inuyasha told them that Kikyou wanted to purify and destroy Naraku together with the completed Shikon no Tama. Kagome opened her eyes and stared at the starry sky, _Kikyou..._

She recalled the look of determination on Inuyasha's face when he told Kikyou that he would not have her to risk her life, and to Sango that he would not allow Kikyou to sacrific Kohaku, her otouto. Kikyou obviously still held an important place in his heart. It was not that Kagome did not know. Three years ago, she had told herself that she would always be second to Kikyou, and she knew that this was the truth. Inuyasha felt a terribly heavy duty and responsibility to the undead Kikyou and Kagome knew that it was impossible for Inuyasha to love only her. Too much had happened between Kikyou and Inuyasha for it to disappear into the recesses of his mind. She was pretty sure that Inuyasha loved her, and she used to think that_that_ was enough. Just to be with him, just to see him happy was enough for her.

But truth be told, she was not exactly happy. Three years ago, she was only fifteen. And now, she was more mature, practical and realistic. Kagome had gone past the limits of tolerance, hurt, pain, loneliness, bitterness, jealousy and regret. She simply felt neutral most of the time now. She was not even sure whether she could continue to love Inuyasha anymore. She was sure that she at least saw him as a very important friend, and that she still harboured deep, intense feelings for him. But to where that would go, or whether it would continue, she was unsure. She afterall, could not go back in Time and change her decisions.

Kagome could not remember how many times she had gone through all these questions and struggles in her mind, to end up with no answer. Love, had seemed so complicated in her case, when compared to the love that Miroku and Sango shared. Miroku had once hinted to her that she would forever remain in Kikyou's shadow until Inuyasha had learnt to let go and look beyond the promise he had given to the undead miko. And now, three years had flown by and things remained as before. Nothing had changed between Inuyasha and her, nor him and Kikyou; it was as if the three of them had never progressed.

_Not that it matters... _Kagome closed her eyes, willing herself not to think anymore and tried to go back to sleep. But after some futile struggle, she opened her eyes again and returned to stare at the stars. iThey are too bright./i She was too wide awake to sleep and the chilly night air only served to freshen up her mind.

_They are all dead... just the vision of their light burning light-years away..._ A bitter-sweet smile appeared on her face as spots of sparkles glimmered in her deep molten irises, _perhaps my love for him is also like that. The embers will continue to burn and give off light until they can't..._

Kagome turned to her side and looked at the side view of Inuyasha leaning against the boulder. Inuyasha seemed to have sense it, he turned his face a little and both caught sight of each other's eyes. His golden eyes widened at the surprise that she had woke up, while she merely smiled at him and closed her eyes. She suddenly recalled what her mother used to tell her when she worried herself to death over tests and exams, _"Kagome, everything will turn out alright in the end."_

A single drop of tear rolled down her cold cheek, there were no more tests and exams. But yes, everything would be okay.

_"Kagome, perhaps one day you will find someone who loves you as much as Mama does!"_

Her heart lightened, and the knots in her mind gone. Kagome believed in her mother, and she soon drifted off to sleep, with hopes that she would one day meet the one who would love her back as much she would.

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A/N: This chapter was kinda hard to write. I was trying to depict exactly how Kagome feels towards Inuyasha, and I think I've done it. Not the best that I expected but oh well, you'll forgive me right? )

I would like to give credit and my eternal deepest heartfelt thanks to Rinseternalsoul for the new summary of this fic. I know that I suck at summaries and she gladly helped me out with it. Isn't she fantastic?

kyou wa Sesshoumaru osoi na - Sesshoumaru is really late today  
urusai - annoying/noisy  
ningen - human  
baka - idiot/fool  
kappa - frog/toad-like  
nakanai - don't cry  
mitte - look  
demo Sesshoumaru-sama totemo tsuyoi ne - but Sesshoumaru-sama is very strong/brave right?  
mochiron - of course  
iku - go  
honto ni - really  
kitsune - fox  
gomen ne - sorry (casual form)  
ramen - instant noodles  
maa maa - well well/dear me houshi - monk (buddhist)  
wakaru yo - I understand/I got it!  
ocha - japanese green tea taijiya - demon/youkai exterminator  
sou desu ne - oh i see/so, is it?  
hamaya - purifying arrow (Kikyou and Kagome can deliver such arrows)  
Ryuurin-scaled Tessaiga - Dragon-scaled Tessaiga, can absorb the opponent's youki otouto - younger brother


	4. Chapter 4

**The Coldest Winter.**

"Ohayou Inuyasha!" Kagome smiled and passed a cup of ocha to Inuyasha. Inuyasha was stunned for a second but took the cup silently. He looked at Kagome who continued to pass the steaming cups around and greeting everyone happily. _Is she not angry with me anymore?_ He recalled the moment when their eyes had met last night and looked into his greenish simmering ocha.

He could see the reflection of his eyes in the beverage and wondered what did Kagome saw in his eyes last night for her to smile at him. It was genuine, yet held something else to it that he could not put a finger to it. He had been thinking of how to destroy Naraku without sacrificing Kikyou and Kohaku these few weeks. Inuyasha was frankly a little tired from all these years of endless pursuing. It was as if it was a mindless game, and Naraku seemed to be fond of it. But Inuyasha cared too much about his friends; too much for him to forsake everyone and leave them to their own fates and danger.

Miroku still had the Kazaana in his right palm.  
Sango still had not saved nor reunited with Kohaku.  
Shippou still had not yet avenged for his otou-san.  
Kikyou still had not taken her revenge.  
He himself had his personal vendetta for fifty-three years, and to help his friends.  
And to protect her.

Kagome was the only person, who did not have a real vendetta against Naraku. She had simply been dragged into this vortex, this whirlpool of big mess. He shifted his gaze from the ocha and saw that Kagome was chatting away happily with the rest._ She is the only one... demo she made the decision and sacrifice to stay here with me..._ Inuyasha hung his head down and stared at the greenish liquid sadly. He felt so much towards Kagome, his heart could burst from all the contents and yet it seemed that he could not repay her at all. For her love and devotion to him, for her loyalty and faith in him. He was forever bound to Kikyou, and he could not run away from it.

"Inuyasha?" Miroku noticed the hanyou's odd silence and was looking at him thoughtfully. The rest immediately turned to him and the sadness in his eyes instantly disappeared, which was replaced by a scowl on his face, "Oi! The ocha is too hot Kagome!"

Kagome's eyebrows twitched in annoyance and before Inuyasha knew it, he had spilled the plastic cup of fragrant ocha and his head was now buried into the cold clammy ground.

"Kagome-chan! So early in the morning?" Sango was alarmed but yet could not refrain from giggling. Kagome and Shippou caught the joke and soon joined in; the giggling turned to loud laughter while Inuyasha struggled to get up and was yelling something at their mocking tearing faces.

Miroku simply rested his chin on his hand and stared at Inuyasha as he tried to concentrate his thoughts. He had seen the brief exchange between Inuyasha and Kagome the previous night that was tinged with sadness. He did not know what was going through in both their minds but it was not hard to guess. Then he smiled to himself, feeling a little comforted that there were no such problems between Sango and him.

"Oi, what are you staring at!" Inuyasha yelled at the seemingly dazed Miroku.

"Aa, nandemonai! I was just thinking have you accidentally eaten dirt before?" Miroku asked innocently but dishonesty and sarcasm was literally shining in his violet eyes.

The rest broke out in howling laughter again while Inuyasha clenched his fists and cracked his knuckles, "temee... Miroku, you are looking for trouble huh"

Miroku stood up, ready to defend and run away if Inuyasha came after him, "iya, that was a joke, really!"

But Inuyasha had alerady lunged for him and Miroku swiftly grabbed for his Shakoju, running to the back of the ladies with a pseudo-frightened look on his face, "Sango! Kagome-sama! Tasukete!" The two grown men were running around in circles while the ladies laughed till they cried. Out of a sudden, Kirara meowed loudly and nudged Sango's feet. Sango promptly stopped and realized that small white fluffy stuff were floating in the air.

"Yuki!"

The rest of the group stopped what they were doing and lifted their faces to the white-gray sky. Kagome and Sango got up from their sitting rocks, their mouths were gaping open in the beauty of the first snow while Shippou laid on the ground and rested his head on both his arms, admiring the fluttering display.

Inuyasha and Miroku both relaxed and smiled as the soft white snowflakes swayed down gently from the skies. After a short while, Miroku's pleasant voice woke everyone out from their trance, "minna, shall we find a shelter before we get frozen to death?"

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"Jaken-sama!" Rin's face had gone deathly pale as she pointed to her left. Ah-Un promptly halted in mid-air at the pull of the leash and Jaken looked down to their left, his jaw dropping at the image before him. "Rin! Tell Ah-Un to go down immediately!"

Rin nodded her head and it took some while before she could convince the draconic youkai to land on the warm ground. She immediately hopped off and without waiting for Jaken, ran to the mass of white and redas fast as she could. When Jaken caught up with her and got a clearer view, Rin was crying hard and was shaking all over in fright. He dropped the Nintoujou and sat on the ground, not caring whether his bare webbed feet or kimono would get burnt.

Sesshoumaru sat in a kneeling position, his right hand still gripping tightly over the hilt of Toukijin. His head was bent and the ends of his long beautiful silver hair were tipped in blood, dark red blood. Rin suddenly stopped her crying and used the back of her hands to wipe her salty tears away.

She knelt down on the ground and gently parted the curtain of silver hair. She gasped and fell back on her butt, trembling all over again. Jaken caught a glimpse of his lord's face and tears rolled down his slimy cheeks. He wondered whether his taiyoukai lord was indeed dead. The sight that greeted them was truly gruesome beyond description.

No one knew how long, but little Rin managed to get up and knelt in front of Sesshoumaru again. With trembling hands, she parted his hair, tucked it behind his big pointy ears and leaned close. She could hear soft raspy breathing sounds, as if he had difficultly breathing. The sounds were so soft and light, that she listened for a good while until she was sure that he was indeed alive.

Rin smiled as more tears rolled down her grimy face and hope filled her stricken heart again. She did not dare to touch him, lest it hurt him more. She gathered the wiltered flowers on the ground that she had brought along and put some into his lap and tucked a few gently into his head of silver hair. Jaken could not fathom what Rin was doing, his voice was flat and hopeless, "Rin, nani o suru?"

Rin smiled and put a finger to her lips; she then heaved hard and down, pointed at her own chest, then at Sesshoumaru's. Jaken widened his eyes at her gestures and crawled forward, for he had gone weak in his legs. He stared at his lord for a good long while, and he was indeed breathing!

He jumped up in joy, his body was suddenly infused with wondrous strength, "Rin! Rin! Sesshoumaru-sama is ALIVE!" Rin nodded her head and smiled, but no words came forth. Jaken wondered for a second whether Rin was too shocked or too happy to speak, but he continued on his own, words tumbling out from his mouth continuously, "how are we going to carry him back? Neither of us is big and strong enough..."

Rin chewed on her lower lip and thought hard. She knew that she not have the strength to drag her lord back to Ah-Un, and even if she did, she could not heal him. A bright idea popped into her head and she clapped her hands once, to get Jaken's attention.

She gestured again to Jaken to wait here while she ran to Ah-Un and mounted on it in no time. Jaken nodded his head and watched them left. He then picked up Nintoujou and stood in front of his lord defensively.

"Sesshoumaru-sama. Do not worry, your lowly and humble servant will stand guard for you until Rin comes back!"

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"Brrrr! Kagome, samui na!" Shippou rubbed his arms up and down furiously with his paws. He tried to cast his illusionary fox-fires to warm himself but they were too small to be of any help at all. Kagome nodded her head and sipped more of her warm ocha. They were kneeling by the small fire that they had built in a deserted cave, warming their limbs and drinking their tea.

"Inuyasha, we are not going to do much in this winter. I suggest that we let Kagome-sama go home. The snow is getting heavier," Miroku placed his hands near the fire to warm them.

"Soshite, the winter snow will cover a lot of tracks and scents, no point in pursuing after Naraku," Sango chipped in immediately and nodded her head while drinking her tea. Everyone had been looking towards a nice good break and this early winter was their best opportunity.

Inuyasha arched his eyebrow up in surprise, he agreed with them that there was nothing much they could do in this winter, since it was colder compared to the previous ones. But it seemed to him that Miroku and Sango shared telepathy and almost always uncannily agree on the same matters.

"Aa, Kagome, you should go home," Inuyasha looked intently at her deep brown eyes and stared at the fire. Kagome nodded her head as she took another sip, she could take the opportunity to read and prepare herself for the night school that she had enrolled herself in. Her results were not fantastic since she had spent a good deal of time in Sengoku Jidai, not that she minded.

"Arigatou! I can study too..." Kagome smiled while Shippou whined, "Kagome, do you really have to go home? Can't you stay with us?" Inuyasha let out a frustrated growl and plucked the kitsune off Kagome's laps, hanging him upside down by his pawed feet.

"Kagome!" Shippou cried out as he struggled and kicked hard in the air.  
"Inuyasha," Kagome's voice held that certain edge of threat which caused the hanyou to drop the kitsune immediately.

"Shippou, Kagome-sama will definitely return and visit us!" Miroku tried to comfort the upset kitsune, although he knew what Shippou was up to. "And she will bring you more crayons and drawing paper!" Sango added in dutifully. Shippou turned to Kagome with his hopeful green eyes shining brightly, who could not help but to wonder whether this was Shippou's trick of wringing more toys and candies from her. Inuyasha rolled his eyes and let out a snort, while Kagome smiled and nodded her head, "hai hai!"

After a short while of bustling around, Kagome packed her light yellow backpack bag and slung it over her shoulders, "where are you guys staying then?"

"Kirara probably can't carry all of us, but we will make our way to Kaede's village slowly. Don't worry about us, we have seen worser winters!" Sango smiled and waved happily. Miroku nodded his head while Inuyasha let out another disgusted snort at the tearing Shippou.

"Ja... o-daiji ni! I will come back and visit you guys soon!" Kagome clambered onto the transformed Kirara and waved her goodbyes. Kirara paused for a while before she flew out of the warm cave with a swoosh. Kagome clutched tightly onto her rough thick furs and buried her face into her warm body. The snowfall was getting heavier but since it was only the second day, Kagome figured that she would not yet freeze when she reached the Bone Eater's Well.

Kagome thanked Kami that she had worn her jeans and a thick sweater. It wasn't really enough for winter but it was better than nothing. She had lost track of time sailing through the blurry field of snowflakes of which most of them got stuck to her face and her hair. The winds blowing past her were chilly and she was so grateful and happy when she sighted the Bone Eater's Well.

Kirara landed on the ground and rubbed her face affectionately against Kagome's face and shoulders. "Arigatou Kirara, I will bring you a yarn of wool when I come back ne?" Kagome smiled at the neko youkai and pursed her frozen lips to plant a kiss on her equally cold black nose.

Before Kagome could swing her legs over the ledge of the well, she heard a loud weird grunt and Kirara's loud growls. She steadied herself on the ledge and grabbed her bow, while turning back to see who Kirara was growling at.

There in the flurry sky, was a draconic youkai with a small ningen girl on top of it. She was waving her hands wildly around her as if she wanted to attract Kagome's attention. Kagome squinted her eyes to get a clearer vision through the snow and then her eyes widened.

"Rin!" Kagome jumped off the ledge and ran to the neko youkai, "daijoubu Kirara! She is harmless!"

Ah-Un landed on the ground a distance away opposite Kirara and once Rin hopped off, she ran as fast as she could through the thin layer of soft snow on the ground to Kagome. Kagome was bewildered to why Rin had sought her out. The draconic youkai had belonged to Sesshoumaru and she wondered again why Rin was alone since she was always accompanied by Jaken and Sesshoumaru.

"Rin! Daijoubu desu ka?" Kagome bent a little and ruffled her messy hair. Rin was always dressed in that orange checkered kimono and the bright color always brought a smile to Kagome. Rin was such a sweet adorable child that nobody could really resist her if she opened up. Rin managed a weak forced smile and did a courteous bow.

"Iie! Rin, doshimashitaka?" Kagome smiled and knelt down, wrapping her small cold dirty hands with her bigger ones. But Rin did not answer, and her large black eyes were looking intently into Kagome's face.

"Rin, doushite?" Kagome asked again, she was starting to get worried from the way Rin looked at her. A feeling of unease creeped up her back and Kagome tightened the grip over Rin's small hands. But Rin pulled her hands away and started to gesture wildly. Kagome could not understand what she was trying to tell her and caught her flustered hands in hers, calming her down with her smile, "Rin, can you tell me?"

Rin looked down and shook her head slowly. Kagome's deep brown eyes widened and she knew that something terrible must have happened, for Rin not to speak again. Kagome pulled the child into her arms without another thought and hugged her tightly while stroking her head, saying to her softly, "daijoubu Rin, yukkuri yukkuri."

Rin burst into tears, and Kagome by now was alarmed and flustered. She did not know what she had done, or could do to pacify the child and the snow was getting heavier and heavier. Snowflakes were getting onto her eyelashes blurring her vision and the temperature was dropping fast. She could feel the tips of her fingers and toes going numb and Rin was trembling in her arms, even though she did not know that was out of fear or cold.

"Rin..." her eyelids drooped a little over her deep molten eyes as Kagome wrapped her arms around the child tightly, hoping that would somehow console her. She was crying so hard, and yet it was almost soundless. It broke Kagome's heart to hear her crying like that.

Upon the mention of her name, Rin sniffed back her tears and tried to pull Kagome away from the well, to Ah-Un. Kagome got the hint but was too afraid to mount that draconic youkai, whose beady yellow eyes were staring back as if it was not sure whether Kagome was an ally or an enemy.

"Er Rin, I will follow you on Kirara," Kagome pointed to Kirara and put on her best smile while nodding her head. Rin nodded her head and soon, Kagome was following the draconic youkai on Kirara and at the same time, wondering to herself the umpteenth time what she was doing. Kagome could not think of any terrible danger happening to them since it was unlikely that anyone would dare to provoke Sesshoumaru and not value his or her own life. If Rin was leading her to Sesshoumaru, she could get herself killed too. Shivers crawled up her spine and Kagome tried to shake off that dreadful thought by talking to Kirara.

"Kirara! Gomen ne!" Kagome had to shout since the freezing gusts of wind were blowing furiously into their faces. Kirara turned her head back slightly as if to reassure Kagome. They were now flying at a very fast speed and Kagome inwardly thanked Kami again for Kirara that she was a fire-neko youkai. _If not she will not last well in this blast of a winter..._

After what seemed like a long while, Kagome realized that the air was not as cold as before and when she squinted her eyes at the lands beneath them, she realized that there was a big foresty mountain and dark grayish ground. _Funny that the winter does not seem to reach here..._

Kirara landed after Ah-Un and Kagome was dragged forward by Rin before she even had time to catch her breath. It was oddly, and a little uncomfortably hot here. The ground was rather warm, and resembled lava ground. But Kagome did not have the time to take a better look at her surroundings nor give more thought to the peculiar weird warm environent when she saw a figure in white and red, kneeling on the floor motionlessly.

When Rin halted abruptly in front of Sesshoumaru, Kagome thought that she would faint from the horrible gruesome sight. But all that she did was to clap her hand over her mouth and gasped out loud, "oh Kami."

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A/N: I hope you like the above chapter. )

ohayou - morning! (casual)  
otou-san - father oi - rude way of calling out to someone, similiar to "hey"  
nandemonai - nothing in particular temee - very crude and rude form of calling someone (singular)  
iya - no (masculine form  
Shakoju - the staff that Miroku carries around with him (I think I spelled correctly)  
tasukete - help!  
yuki - snow/snowflake minna - everyone Rin, nani o suru? - Rin, what are you doing?  
samui na - its very cold!  
soshite - and then arigatou - thank you (casual)  
ja - well/then o-daiji ni - take care of yourself!  
Kami - God neko - cat daijoubu desu ka - are you alright?  
doshimashitaka - what happened?  
doushite - why/what's wrong?  
yukkuri yukkuri - slowly, slowly


	5. Chapter 5

**The Miracle.**

**_

* * *

"Miracles do not, in fact, break the laws of nature."_**

**- C.S. Lewis

* * *

**

Kagome stood rooted to the ground for a good minute as she gaped at the taiyoukai in front of her. She had never seen anyone who was wounded as badly as him, and she told herself that he had to be dead by now. She could not believe that anyone could really defeat Sesshoumaru and even blinked twice, to make sure that this man, this youkai before her was him. But she could not be mistaken.

The dark blue crescent moon on his forehead and the maroon stripes across his cheeks were visible and real. The demonic blade Toukijin was in his hand and he was wearing his usual white haoris and hakamas with the sakura blossoms insignia, even though they were now stained and splotched with blood. His long silver hair was tucked behind his big pointed ears and the upper half of his face looked seriously... _charred_. "Hidoi..."

The skin was red and raw and small pieces of burnt skin were actually curling out. The affected area extended all the way around his eyes and across the bridge of his nose, just beneath his long thin eyebrows. Even though his eyelids were shut, she could see that his eyes were slightly swollen and small blobs of reddish pus were forming outside the corners of his eyes like tear-drops.

Kagome swallowed, allowing her eyes to travel down and saw that there was a big wound on his abdomen, as if something big had pierced through him. But the edges of the wound seemed messily patched up, as if the flesh around there had melted and fused together with the surrounding skin, blood vessels and his clothing. Kagome narrowed her eyes and flinched inwardly, _he must have used his own poison, to close up that wound..._

Then she saw another smaller, neater wound right in the middle of his left breast. It looked to be inflicted by a sharp katana or some sort. Kagome was in sort of a daze assessing his injuries when realization dawned on her. It was his left breast. _His heart!_

She brought her hand up slowly, as if to cover her mouth but then she stopped midway. She could see that Sesshoumaru was still alive, and breathing. Kagome widened her eyes and was instantly on her knees, peering right into his face warily. Jaken mumbled some rude words about ningen but Kagome was too intrigued and curious to how Sesshoumaru could possibly survive, his life hanging by a thread, to notice the insults.

_No youkai, no living being can ever survive through this,_ Kagome reassured herself in order to convince herself that she was still sane. But she could hear his soft raspy breathing and shakily placed two fingers near his neck. She could feel a pulse, it was soft and faint, but it was there.

Kagome slumped onto the ground on her knees. She could not be looking at a living corpse. Even if Sesshoumaru had not died from loss of blood, pain or his own poison, the fatal stab through his heart chambers would ensue his death. Whoever had done this was cruel and evil, and had wanted Sesshoumaru to die a slow and painful death.

Rin shook her shoulders slightly, and began to point to her own heaving chest. Kagome could not help the tears that sneaked up around her eye-rims when she saw Rin adamantly rying to tell her that her lord was not dead and that she had to help him. Kagome did not know what to say and shook her head gently. She tried to smile even though she could imagine the horrors that went through the little's mind to see violent death again, and to her Sesshoumaru of all people. It was plain to everyone, even to Inuyasha, that this little Rin loved and adored Sesshoumaru to no end.

Jaken could not take it and yelled, "baka! Rin, this useless ningen cannot heal Sesshoumaru-sama!" He tried to swipe Nintoujou at Rin's head, fully intending to knock her unconscious so that he could move her away from this horrible sight. He would take care of Rin for the rest of his life, since that was the job that Sesshoumaru had given him.

Kagome saw the Nintoujou coming and stopped the offensive action with one hand, "nani-"

All three of them stopped when they heard a small noise and turned their heads to the motionless Sesshoumaru. When they heard the faint cough a second time, Kagome immediately put her small hands on his shoulders and called out his name loudly, "Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru!"

All they heard was a faint "Rin..."

It was as if a light bulb had exploded in Kagome's mind. She thanked Kami for the third time for her biology lessons and that she was not afraid of blood, at least. She immediately pressed her ear against his right breast and heard the familiar _thud, thud, thud_ beats. It was strong and steady.

Kagome pulled away while her hands remained on his shoulders and looked at Rin with an incredulous smile on her face, "daijoubu desu Rin! Sesshoumaru's heart is in his right chest! Whoever had tried to kill him did not succeed!"

Jaken's mouth was as wide as anyone could imagine and tears began to roll down his green face again, wetting his ugly kimono as he knelt and bowed to the ground fervently until his forehead was red and bruised, "arigatou gozaimasu Kami-sama, arigatou gozaimasu Kami-sama... "

Rin only managed a wide happy smile even though her eyes were red and puffy from all that crying. Kagome smiled victoriously, she had heard of people having hearts in their right chests but it was so rare and she never thought that she would meet one.

Let alone to save one.

The smile was wiped off her face promptly. Kagome had to figure out a way and plan to bring Sesshoumaru to a safe place for him to heal. There was nothing much she could do, but she had promised and wanted to do her best for Rin. She did not understand why but Rin's unwavering loyalty and simple adoration for Sesshoumaru struck a deep chord within her heart.

Kagome frowned and stared at Toukijin hard. During the few minutes while Jaken was babbling and thanking Kami, and Rin kneeling quietly beside her to see what she could contribute, Kagome thought of a plan that seemed workable enough.

"Rin, bring Ah-Un and Kirara here will you?" Kagome smiled at the fearless child. Rin merely smiled and nodded her head, trotting off to bring the two youkai beasts near them. Kagome took a good look at the wounds and was glad that they were at least sealed and would not rip apart for a good while if she was gentle enough. Kagome placed her hands over the wounds in his abdomen and left chest gently for a while and closed her eyes in concentration, willing her ki to come to her hand. She had heard Kaede talking about this for sometime and even though she had not tried it, she hoped that it would work the way she wanted it to.

A small pink glow appeared on her hands, and Kagome could feel a nice sort of tingling sensation around her palms. She opened her eyes and saw that the wounds looked slightly better and firmer. She was not sure what that would do, but if it did not purify him, then it was better than nothing. The worst that could happen was the wounds re-opening themselves again. Kagome shuddered at the possibility of that and nasty infections.

After some coaxing, both beasts were lying on their bellies and Kagome began the difficult ardous task of heaving Sesshoumaru up. She tried to lift him up gently but realized that his body was too heavy and he did not even move an inch. His armour had cracked a little around his chest and Kagome, somehow with Rin's help, got the useless heavy armour off his body. She did not remove the pelt since that would provide him warmth in this harsh winter condition.

Kagome stood up and jabbed her hands to her waist, "yoshi!"

She bent a little and tried to heave Sesshoumaru up by putting her arms under his armpits from the back. This movement was rather tricky since his left arm was nothing but a stump. After a while, Kagome managed to drag him over and laid the unconscious him over Kirara's soft body. Kagome did not think Ah-Un's hard body would be good for the injured youkai and was thankful that his grasp over Toukijin relaxed.

Jaken was more than impressed with this miko's quick wits and was surprised that she was willing to help them. Sesshoumaru had afterall tried to kill her and Inuyasha more than once. Rin went back to fetch Toukijin and Kagome managed to stop her in time.

"Rin! Iie!"

Rin stopped halfway and looked over her shoulder guiltily. Kagome was tired but she still remembered the evil jyaki around Toukijin that could take over a human's sanity, and she did not want that to happen to Rin. She promptly tore a piece of fabric off Sesshoumaru's torn hakamas and tied a tight firm knot over the hilt of Toukijin carefully, leaving a good length of fabric left.

"Jaken, pull Toukijin using this fabric. Do not touch the hilt unless you want to kill us," Kagome wearily commanded the kappa-youkai who was rendered speechless by her authority. He would have used Nintoujou to roast her alive in the past but now, he looked up to Kagome as his lord's saviour.

Kirara was not too happy with Sesshoumaru draped all over her and Kagome knelt down and caressed the diamond mark on her forehead, "gomen ne Kirara.. demo Sesshoumaru is really injured very badly.. He could die if I don't help him, and he is afterall Inuyasha's aniue."

Kirara growled to signify her consent and Kagome thanked her softly. She turned around and said, "Rin, Jaken. Follow Kirara." She was by now so exhausted, mentally and physically that she heaved herself over Kirara, keeping a hand on Sesshoumaru's back to steady him. His hair was all flipped to the front, draping all over the warm lava-like ground. Kagome could feel his firm muscles and saw the nasty wound on his back.

"Kirara, bring us to a warm cave, away from Inuyasha. Onegai, isoide," Kagome managed to get the words out from her mouth.

Kagome did not know how long they travelled through the flurry skies. Snowflakes kept flying into her face and got caught in between her eyelashes. She felt so tired that she bent and laid over Sesshoumaru, whose legs were dangling dangerously on one end, not caring whether it was safe or not.

It was not long before Kirara found a suitable warm cave that was big and spacious. Kagome dismounted wearily and walked to the edge of the cave. She could see forests beneath the cave and realized that they were high up on a cliff. But somehow the entrance to the cave was not straight so it was rather out of sight to outsiders and would partially block the freezing winter winds. She mentally praised the neko-youkai for her intelligence and formulated her next plan.

_Kirara must go back soon, if not Inuyasha will suspect..._

"Kirara! Arigatou! Onegai, bring me back to the Bone Eater's Well, and do not tell Sango or anyone about this ne?" Kagome patted the neko youkai's head and looked at Jaken, "Jaken, you will stay here with Sesshoumaru until we come back. Rin, can you ride on Ah-Un and follow me?"

Rin nodded her head and Kagome smiled at her readiness, _she would do anything for her Sesshoumaru-sama..._

Kagome tried to figure and remember the path that Kirara took to the Bone Eater's Well. It was not very far away and when they had landed, Kagome buried her face into Kirara's big cheeks, mumbling her thanks. When the neko-youkai took off to the air again, Kagome held Rin's both hands and looked into her eyes, "Rin, matte kudasai. I will come back soon, I need to go and get some medicine for Sesshoumaru."

Rin smiled and nodded her head. Kagome could still see the shred of worry in her eyes and patted her head. Without another word, Kagome swung her legs over the well and disappeared into the blue blast of magic that brought her forward to five hundred years, to her time in Tokyo.

Kagome slided the shoji doors open from the shrine where it housed their well and noticed that it was already nightfall. She sprinted to her room as quietly as she could without waking up her family. She groggily and hastily packed more clothings into her bag, bandages, antibiotics, painkillers, gauze, scissors, eyedrops, antiseptic cream for burns, antifungal creams and whatever she could find in her drawers and first-aid kit. Kagome tried to keep her yawns as quiet as possible and rubbed her eyes to clear her vision. Her head and body felt so heavy and she was so tempted to lie in her bed and go to sleep.

"Wake up!" Kagome pinched her underarm hard until she teared.

Kagome then threw whatever ramen, snacks and winter coats she could find into a big paper bag and on hind thoughts, sneaked into Souta's room and took out several tee-shirts and jeans. She could only hope that Sesshoumaru could fit into them. The thought of him still clothed in that blood-stained spoiled kimono was disgusting, _his wounds will get infected..._

Slinging her precious bow over her shoulder and stuffing the quiver of arrows into the paper bag, she heaved her monstrous yellow backpack onto her back and tried to walk as normally and as quiet as possible to the shrine. Just at that moment, Souta walked out of his room lazily while rubbing his sleepy eyes, "'nee-chan... doko e ikundesu ka..?"

Kagome thought her heart had leapt out from her chest when she looked up to Souta's head. During these three years, Souta's growth was amazing. Her grandfather had simply remarked that Souta was growing like a beansprout.

"Eeto... Im going back..." Kagome laughed nervously while trying to calm her nerves, and wondered why her heart was beating so fast. It was not the first time that she went back to Sengoku Jidai anyway. Souta did not seem to notice the things that she carried and continued on his way to the toilet, "sou ka..."

She let out a breath of relief and hurried her way to the shrine's well, occassionally tripping over imaginary stones and twigs and silently cursing herself and wished that she was some Superwoman with amazing strength and speed.

When she finally heaved herself over the Bone Eater's Well, Rin clapped her hands happily and gave her the widest, brightest smile that Kagome had ever seen. She suspected that Rin had reserved that only for Sesshoumaru and the reason why she had shown it to her was because she had returned to help them.

"Rin! Ano... can you tell Ah-Un not to.. erm... bite me?" Kagome was still afraid of the two-headed beast and was not about to put her faith blindly in such a dreadful and dangerous looking youkai.

Rin nodded her head and went over the draconic youkai, patting one of its heads and pulled it over. Kagome took a step backwards, not sure whether Rin had talked to the beast, or merely stroking it's head. Rin pulled Kagome's hand and laid it on the moist nose of one head.

Kagome looked at the pair of yellow eyes nervously, and it looked back at her.

She gulped, trying not to show her fear even though Ah-Un certainly did not look as kind nor as cute compared to their Kirara. Kagome moved her hand weakly over the black nose and she was not sure whether it was Ah or Un that let out a soft grunting noise. Rin patted the other head and Kagome took that as a favourable answer since her hand was still attached to her arm.

In the end, she had to sling the paperbag over one neck slowly and carefully, and again wondered which head she was trying to smile at. She placed a shivering Rin in front of her, who took hold of the leash and gave it a gentle pull. When they took to the air, Kagome was hoping hard that the she and the paperbag would remain in one piece, and that Ah-Un would remember the way back to the cave because she had simply forgotten about it.

Kagome thought to herself that she would die if she did not get some sleep soon.

* * *

A/N: Ah, I hate this chapter. Couldn't sleep well over it. /

hidoi - terrible  
sakura - cherry blossoms  
hidoi - terrible  
ningen - human  
nani - what  
arigatou gozaimasu - thank you (formal form)  
ki - inner energy, something like youki  
yoshi - yeah/alright!  
aniue - formal way of addressing other's elder brother  
onegai - please isoide kudasai - pls hurry  
matte kudasai - pls wait shoji - sliding doors, usually made of rice paper  
'nee-chan - affectionate way of calling one's older sister  
doko e ikundesu ka? - where are you going?  
eeto - eh.  
ano - excuse me/erm


	6. Chapter 6

**The Hope.**

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_**  
"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream."**_

**- The Trumpet of Conscience, Martin Luther King, Junior.

* * *

**

Kagome thought rather highly of Ah-Un's intelligence when the draconic beast whirled steadily through the dark cold winter night back to the cave without any instructions or pull of the leash. Jaken was only too happy to see them and it was reflected all over his face when he saw Kagome and Rin, waving his hands widely as if to welcome them home.

Kagome got off the draconic youkai which had lowered itself down without prompting and helped Rin down, in which at that moment, the straps of her paperbag tore and dropped to the ground with a loud thud. Kagome closed her eyes and sighed softly,_ this must be the fourth time I'm thanking Kami for the luck I have so far..._

Rin helped to drag the heavy paperbag inside while Kagome thanked the draconic youkai awkwardly, to which one of the monstrous heads jerked up and rubbed its face against her dark blue sweater. To say that Kagome was stunned was an understatement. She started to believe that she had this indescribable affliation with animals and beasts, judging from the way Buyo, Inuyasha, Shippou, Kirara and now, Ah-Un took to her.

Another nudge of her snow-laced sweater snapped her out of her trance back to the present. She quickly regained her composure and gave her true sincere smile at the beast, deciding that it was really not important at all to determine which was Ah nor which was Un.

Kagome quickly got down to business and walked into the cave with her backpack. She found Rin and Jaken sitting beside Sesshoumaru, looking into his disfisgured face silently. The weight of unmistakeable sadness and despair hung so heavily in the air that Kagome stopped in her tracks. She had always thought that Sesshoumaru was a cold-blooded youkai, a monster that would not stop to kill if anyone got into his way or offended him.

_That might still be true, demo..._ Kagome's deep brown eyes softened as she recalled the name that he had muttered back then, i"Rin..."/i She surmised that he could not be a cold-blooded murderer, because if he were, Rin would not have loved and adored him so much. She had even gone mute again because of the shock of his near-death. And she was sure that somewhere, he had a heart inside of him, just that he was not willing to open it to anyone. It was weird to her that Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha were more similiar than they would like to admit in this respect. _Perhaps... he is also afraid of getting hurt and tied down..._

Kagome resolved within herself that no matter what, she would do her best to get Sesshoumaru healed, for Rin's sake. She knew that she was being soft-hearted but she just could not bear to hear nor see anymore of Rin's silent, heart-wrenching cries. Kagome let out a soft cough, "ano... I think it is better that you all don't look when I treat him..."

Jaken gave a dubious glare but Rin merely nodded and dragged the kappa-youkai out silently. Kagome sighed softly at Rin's childlike innocence and amazing sensibility. "She is both a child and an adult... well I suppose being around with Sesshoumaru long enough will change you..."

Once she had made sure that both were out of her sight, Kagome sighed to herself again and massaged her temples. It was going to be one long night before she could get some proper sleep.

Kagome knelt down beside the injured taiyoukai and laid out all the stuff that she had brought along with her on the ground. She lit a big candle and stuck it to the ground with its melted wax. The soft yellow light illuminated the cave, casting a soft glow on his cheeks and the tip of his slender nose. Kagome thought that he had never looked more human than now, _like an injured commander._

She pushed the thick furry pelt aside and carefully cut through his haori in the center with her trusty scissors without piercing his wounded skin. She then gently pulled the haori away from his arms and under his back with one forceful jerk. She tossed the spoiled clothing to her side, too weary to worry about the possibility of it catching fire.

She searched for a soft clean rag and poured some water from her big water bottle. She realized that the wounds did not look as bad and was silently amazed at his healing and regenerating abilities. "Well, he's a full blooded youkai," she mumbled to herself as she thought of how quickly Inuyasha had gotten healed on his own, like a puppy.

She dabbed the rag gently on his wounds to remove the caked brown blood. The wound on his abdomen was hideously large, even though it was fully sealed. Kagome once again silently admired Sesshoumaru's willpower and quick-thinking to use his own poison to seal the wound. She wondered whether he had shouted out in pain, but promptly dismissed that thought since she found him kneeling instead of lying down. _Must be his pride..._ she thought to herself and hunched her shoulders.

After some heaving and pushing, Kagome finally managed to prop him up against the smooth walls of the cave. She then spread a generous amount of antiseptic cream over the wounds and spent a considerable amount of time to wrap the gauze around his waist. She did the same with his chest and realized that Sesshoumaru had perfect unblemished fair skin. "Its a pity that you might have scars you know..."

Kagome looked up into his face and flinched. It was such a gruesome mess that she really did not know what to do with it. She dabbed at the wounds carefully and using as little strength as possible, she tried to clean the area with cool water. She then applied some antiseptic cream for burns around the eyes and on the lids. It was followed up with gauze going around his head and Kagome then realized that, he had the most beautiful face when he was not awake and glaring at her.

He had perfect chiselled features, his markings were really rather nice and his nose was high and sharp. He had high cheekbones and his skin was almost perfect, much better than hers. His hair was long and silky, and there was no knots as Kagome ran her fingers through it wistfully. It was as if she could feel the tensile strength in each of his heavy silver strands, even though it was as fine as a thin platinum wire.

She parted his silver bangs and wiped the grime and dirt away from his forehead and the rest of his face. Kagome caught herself gazing at Sesshoumaru's face, wondering how handsome he would really look if he had not been disfigured. She mentally chided herself and found herself thinking back of Inuyasha. She had never gotten a chance to get so up close and personal to Inuyasha, like the way she was now with Sesshoumaru.

Using her hands to support herself, Kagome closed her eyes and leaned forward, pressing her soft nose against his long sharp one. She could hear his laboured breathing and the tip of his nose was cool. She rubbed her nose against his gently, revelling in its firmness and softness, and wondering at the same time whether Inuyasha's nose was like that too.

A dreamy smile appeared on her face and Kagome opened her eyes, hoping that she would see that familiar pair of warm amber eyes. When the sight of gauze greeted her, she mentally slapped herself back into reality and looked at his hakama. She buried her face into her hands and groaned inwardly at the next job. She really did not want to do this.

She crawled over to the paperbag and pulled out Souta's pair of jeans and a button-up shirt. She did not have much problem with the shirt but when it came to the bottoms, she groaned out loud.

"Can I not do this?"

Rin immediately scampered over at her groan and poked her head out. Kagome instantly laughed out nervously and waved her hands, "aa, nandemonai, nandemonai!" Rin took the hint and disappeared quietly behind the odd bend of stone wall.

After a long struggle and internal debate, Kagome decided to abort the idea of changing his hakama. "Souta's jeans probably would not fit him..." She fell back on her butt, stretched her long legs and let out a long breath of relief. She had finally finished, and would not have to change his clothing for a good long period if nothing bad happened. She pulled out Souta's large black wintercoat and draped it over his body, hoping that this would provide him with some warmth in this winter.

"Oyasumi, Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome let out a big yawn and fell asleep beside him, dreaming of warm beds, hot ocha and delicious home-made bentos.

* * *

The first thing that Kagome noticed when she woke up was how cold it was. She stretched her legs, yawned out loud and gave her arms a good rub. She took a quick glance at Sesshoumaru and noticed that he was still unconscious. With a rumbling hungry stomach, she got up reluctantly and noticed that the pale morning light was filtering into the cave. 

When Kagome poked her head out of that odd bend of wall, she noticed that Rin and Jaken, along with Ah-Un were not there. Feeling a little disappointed and lonely, Kagome dragged her feet back and checked on her patient. The bandages were a little stained with blood, which was a good sign that it was not bleeding excessively. She felt for his forehead and realized that it was burning. _Infection_, Kagome narrowed her eyes and quickly removed the gauze around his head.

The sight that greeted her almost caused her to regurgitate whatever that was left in her stomach out. A nauseous stench wafted out from his face and his eyes were both lined with thick yellow pus. The condition of the skin did not improve at all and it remained red and raw, although it was positively less bloody.

"Doshiyoo..." Kagome groaned to herself as she shook her head. She had never treated such serious burns before and she suspected that it was not any normal burns since only his eyes the surrounding skin were affected. She knelt beside Sesshoumaru and wrapped a piece of tissue around her forefinger, slowly and gently wiping the yellow pus away. Each time the tissue got caught or stuck to a piece of raw skin, Kagome would flinch and apologize profusely even though she knew that he could not hear nor respond to her. She could only pray that whatever she was doing was not making the situation worse than it could ever be.

After she had finally cleared the pus away, Kagome applied the antiseptic cream over and wrapped the gauze lightly over his head. She then tried to feed him water from her waterbottle. But no matter how hard she tried, the water would not go down his throat and just dribbled out from his mouth.

"He needs to take antibiotics too..." Kagome chewed on her lower lip and frowned hard, thinking about the different possibilities that he could ingest the medicine. Kagome had to cross out the impossible and ridiculous methods that ranged from taking aim at the back of his throat, to mild suffocation by pinching his beautiful nose. In the end, she had to rely on the old trusty method that she had pushed to the last, hoping that she would have figured out other ways. It was simply dreadful, and she really did not want to do it.

She let out a big sigh and wallowed in self-pity as she crushed the antibiotics into powder with a metal spoon onto a piece of tissue and poured it into his mouth. She then took one big mouthful of water and placed her mouth tightly over his, tilting his head back a little and slowly releasing the water.

Kagome thanked her lucky stars that Sesshoumaru somehow started to use his esophaegal muscles and prayed that he had drunk the water down with the bitter medicine. She really was quite embarrassed since that was her first real, mouth-to-mouth kiss. And she had to sacrifice it for such an unromantic reason, with someone that she did not like at all.

"Oh well, he will die from infection if I don't do that..." Kagome tried to comfort herself and justify for the loss of her first kiss by thinking of the story of Nurse Nightingale. She dipped her forefinger into the water and moistened his lips, inwardly revelling in the feel of his lips. Kagome smiled secretly to herself even though there were no one else around. _It was really not that awful at all..._ Sesshoumaru had soft thin lips that gave her a very manly feeling, even though they were a bit cold. _Just so like him._

Kagome sat on the ground, drew her legs in and rested her chin on her arms. She looked at the unconscious taiyoukai and still could not believe what had happened within one day. The thought of his attacker unnerved her and she prayed hard that whoever it was, would not locate their presence. She would not have the guts nor the brains to fight it out with the sadistic murderer.

She crawled up to his front and laid her hand over his right chest, just to make sure that his heart was still beating. "You are really special ne? Fancy having your heart in the right chest," Kagome talked as if he listened. She was really worried for once, for his safety and health. She was quite sure that the wounds in his left chest and abdomen would heal but the burns in his eyes were another matter. If she did not seek out proper medical help for him, Sesshoumaru could possibly go blind.

As more awful thoughts came to her mind, Kagome got to her feet and made up her mind to look for Jinenji. Just at that moment, she heard the grunting noises of Ah-Un and when she turned around, Rin was already scrambling to her and holding out some wild fruits with a small nervous smile on her face.

"Arigatou!" Kagome was grateful that Rin had brought fruits for her, she was quite sure that she would not be able to eat any fish nor meat for sometime after that incident with Sesshoumaru. iSomehow he always make me feel so uncomfortable.../i Kagome mused to herself as she chomped hungrily away at the cool sweet unidentifiable berries.

"Rin, I will need to borrow Ah-Un to look for someone. Can you come with me?" Kagome was still not confident in steering the beast and would not take any chances since she was not sure whether she could locate Jinenji's farm. Of course, Rin nodded happily with a smile, to which Kagome noticed that it was not so strained anymore.

They were soon on their way to Jinenji's farm and the sun was high over their heads when they located the small thatched hut with small squarish fields that were bare and covered with a thin layer of snow. Rin tugged at her sleeve and pointed to the hut excitedly.

"Rin, have you been here before?" Kagome asked. Rin closed her crusty eyes and nodded with a wide happy smile. The moment Ah-Un landed on the ground, Rin hopped off without a word and dashed straight into the hut. When Kagome had caught up with her, she realized that Rin was kneeling on the tatami-covered floor in front of Jinenji himself, smiling and gesturing excitedly as if they were old friends.

"Kagome-san!" Jinenji turned his big goldfish-like eyes to her in pleasant surprise. Kagome closed her gaping mouth and bowed her head, "Jinenji-san!"

The towering hanyou immediately crawled towards her and gave her a toothy smile, "I am so glad to see you again!" Kagome smiled warmly back at him and realized that Jinenji had not changed at all, other than he was not as shy as before.

"Did she come with you?" Jinenji pointed to Rin as he motioned for Kagome to sit down. "Hai! Do you know each other?" Kagome was puzzled.

Jinenji nodded his head slowly, "aa, she once came here and asked me for a thousand-year herb. That time, I was afraid to show her my face and hid beneath my blanket. Demo she refused to go away and even sneaked under it to talk to me. She was not afraid of me at all. Kagome-san, her eyes and her smiles are so like yours!"

A faint tinge of red rose to her cheeks, "iie... Rin is not afraid of youkai at all"

Jinenji swivelled his eyes back to Rin, "sou ka... o namae wa Rin desu ka?" and moved his hand out to pat her head.

"Kagome-san, Rin used to pester me quite a lot before I told her the whereabouts of the herb. Demo ima..." Jinenji's voice trailed off.

Kagome looked at Rin for a long while before finally replying him, "Rin... is in shock I think. We have to come to look for you, because her caretaker is injured, very badly."

Jinenji remained quiet and looked down at her with his big watery eyes, "is it Inuyasha?"

Kagome shook her head and managed a weak smile, "iie, it is Inuyasha's aniue. His eyes are badly injured and the skin is burnt, red and raw. It doesn't look like a normal burn, he was attacked and left to die."

His big eyes widened at her words, "Kagome-san! A few days ago, my hut was raided and several poisonous herbs were missing. I believed those herbs might have been used on him!"

Kagome looked up as goose bumps broke all over her skin, someone had indeed gone out of his way to kill Sesshoumaru. "Do you know who they are?"

Jinenji shook his head sadly, "iya. They were already gone when I was back. The herbs that were stolen are not very harmful on their own, but when combined and used in the right proportions, it can be a deadly poison to any person, ningen or youkai."

Kagome felt as if her heart had stopped for that second, all her efforts and hope that Sesshoumaru would recover were dashed. Rin instantly tugged hard at Jinenji's sleeve, tears brimming her big black eyes.

The hanyou smiled and held her hand gently, "do not worry little Rin. I know of the cure."

Relief washed over Kagome as she let out her long held breath. Luck was still on their side, their hope was not lost.

* * *

A/N: Another hard chapter. pulls more hair out To all my reviewers, pls keep them coming in! Its amazing what reviews can do to an author, and now I can understand why pop idols can during their concerts. Sorry, I just never had an idol during my puberty stage! To those people who reviewed me, Im sorry but I have no idea how to reply to you guys! Perhaps you can email me? 

ano - erm/excuse me  
haori - outer coat, worn over kimono  
hakama - pleated pants  
nandemonai - nothing in particular  
oyasumi - goodnight (casual)  
ocha - green tea  
bento - boxed lunch  
doshiyoo - oh no/what should I do?  
sou ka - I see/so that's it  
o namae wa Rin desu ka - your name is Rin huh?  
demo - but  
ima - now  
aniue - elder brother  
iie - no  
iya - no (masculine)  
ningen - human  
youkai - demon


	7. Chapter 7

**Over the Edge.**

* * *

Jinenji started to gather herbs around his little hut and put them into a large straw basket. Rin peered into it curiously as she followed him around. Kagome recognized some of the herbs and could not help but to feel a little disappointed. They were simple herbs used for common ailments and she wondered whether they were useful and potent enough.

"Jinenji-san, is that all we need?" Kagome asked politely, the tone of her dismay almost undetectable. He laid a big piece of washcloth over the basket, securing it with two thin sticks and smiled, "aa. Grab two handfuls of these herbs, grind them into a thick paste and spread it over his eyes. Boil one handful in water and once cooled, let him drink it. Do these two everyday for a week and return to me. I hope we are in time to save him."

Rin bowed as deeply as she could to show her deepest gratitude before they mounted on Ah-Un. Kagome nodded as she thanked Jinenji gratefully, at least she did not return empty-handed without a solution.

* * *

Miroku looked at his comrades quietly. Sango sat silently with a worried look on her face, Kirara had been gone for longer than she had expected. Inuyasha sat on the ground and shifted his position every now and then, while Shippou scratched his bushy head every now and then.He knew that they were worried for both Kagome and Kirara, and was about to let out a sigh when he sighted a patch of pale yellow in the blurry skies. "Minna! Mitte! Asoko!"

Everyone rushed to the entrance and squinted their eyes at the direction that Miroku was pointing. Soon, a clearer view of Kirara appeared and everyone backed away for the neko-youkai to land. Sango immediately went forward and dusted the thick snow off her hard frozen furs, "Kirara, daijoubu?" The neko-youkai un-transformed back to her original kitten size and purred against her owner who scooped her up and laid it against her chest.

"Ah, how I wish I can be Kirara now," Miroku let out his long-held sigh wistfully. He was promptly greeted with a sounding whack on his head by Sango's Hiraikotsu as she spun around with amazing accuracy back to the cave. Shippou shook his head and rolled his eyes at the houshi's lewd wish while Inuyasha followed Sango worriedly, "Kirara! Kagome daijoubu ka!"

Kirara purred and nestled its head against Sango's lap. "I think Kagome-chan is alright. Perhaps they took a little more time since the snow is so heavy," Sango stroked Kirara's head lovingly. Both Inuyasha and Shippou seemed to feel relieved at her answer.

"Sango is right, don't worry Inuyasha," Miroku walked in as he rubbed the growing lump on the side of his head, wondering how many days would pass before the swell would subside.

"Keh!" Inuyasha folded his arms crossly into the sleeves of his fire-rat haori and sat on the ground with a slight frustrated look on his grim face. Miroku sighed inwardly, wondering to himself again how long they would have to put up with Inuyasha until Kagome was back.

"Miroku, do you think Kagome is really alright?" Shippou hopped up to Miroku's shoulder.

"Hai, I worry more for us than her actually," Miroku shifted his glance meaningly from the kitsune to the sulking red-clad hanyou. Shippou nodded his head and whispered back, "ee, I hope spring will come as soon as possible."

Sango caught the whisper and smiled as Inuyasha's doggy ears twitched.

* * *

Jaken paced around angrily in the cave, having came up with at least fifty reasons why Kagome had abducted Rin away and left him all alone in this cave without Ah-Un. The sun was already setting but there was no sight of them yet. He knelt beside Sesshoumaru quietly and stared sadly at his lord's face. He had to admit that the miko had enough wits to cover his wounds up and he did not look as bad, nor as terrifying as the day before.

"Sesshoumaru-sama..." the name rolled off his tongue smoothly and softly, as if hoping that that would wake his lord up. Jaken lowered his head and wondered when the days of glory would return where every youkai and ningen cower at the sight of him and Sesshoumaru. He was starting to miss the icy glares and the occassional stones that Sesshoumaru flung at his forehead.

A loud thumping sound at the entrance of the cave alerted the kappa-youkai and he immediately scurried to the front, all ready to lash out at the miko and Rin for their tardiness. But when he saw Rin holding several dead lizards on her outstretched palm, Jaken broke out into a wide genuine smile that was accompanied by sincere heartfelt tears.

Kagome could not help but to giggle at Jaken's dramatic display of emotions. After she had helped to settle their dinner and only meal of the day, she got Rin and Jaken to fill up her waterbottle from a nearby lake that had not frozen yet. While cutting up the herbs with her scissors, Kagome wondered how long they could survive on wild vegetables, fish and fruits before she had to return home for more supplies.

"Ne... do you feel cold? Are you in pain?" Kagome talked to Sesshoumaru while she tried her best to grind the herbs against her small bowl with the only metal spoon she had. Kagome continued on mashing the herbs in silence under the soft flickering light of the candle, wondering what her comrades were doing in Kaede's village. _They must be drinking hot warm soup and chit-chatting..._

When she had finally reached the stage whereby the mashed herbs were beginning to look paste-like, Kagome decided that she would have to return home soon and get all these herbs ground and ready. It was simply too tedious and difficult with just a metal spoon and scissors. By the time the herb-paste was ready, Rin and Jaken had already returned with the water and were being instructed to boil the water in her small portable kettle.

After removing the bandages away from his head, Kagome brushed his heavy silver bangs aside and wondered whether he would kill her if he were to wake up suddenly. In the process of removing the pus, cleaning up the wound and applying the dark green cooling paste, Rin knelt beside her silently. Kagome took a side glance at her and noticed that she was brushing her tears away noiselessly, as if she was afraid that Sesshoumaru might caught her crying. Kagome closed her eyes for a split second, hoping that she could be transported right away. She could almost imagine what was going on in Rin's little mind, the unspoken worries, sadness, despair and anxiety all for _his_ sake. All these were so real to Kagome that it weighed down on her own heart too. She had never felt more useless and helpless before, not even when she compared herself to Kikyou, nor failed her Math exam.

"Where is Jaken?" Kagome needed to break the silence. The girl pointed out and Kagome nodded her head, guessing that the kappa-youkai probably did not want to see his lord all injured and weak. And his injuries tended for by a ningen.

"Rin, do you know my name?" Kagome smiled a little too brightly.

Rin was stumped with her sudden question and looked up, shaking her head in embarassment after a short while. Kagome's smile widened as she lit another candle, "Kagome. My name is Higurashi Kagome. Rather simple ne?"

Rin shook her head violently, then nodded her head, and shook again, looking rather confused at herself. Kagome laughed out softly, "iie daijoubu. How old are you this year?" Rin took out her fingers and counted slowly.

"Eleven?" Kagome asked as she tried to spread the herb-paste over his eyes as gentle as possible. Rin nodded and pointed her finger at Kagome, looking into her eyes enquiringly. Kagome cocked her head to one side before she figured out the question.

"Ah! Gomen ne! I'm eighteen this year, I have a otouto who is five years older than you, he looks a little like you when he was younger," Kagome wondered why she had mentioned Souta as she wrapped the thin gauze around his head. But Rin merely closed her eyes and smiled silently.

"Rin, how old is Sesshoumaru-sama?" Kagome frowned as she tried to continue the conversation and at the same time tie a firm knot under the weak yellow light. She mentally remarked to herself that she would bring another wintercoat for Rin when a cold draft of wind slipped into the inner cavern.

The light flickered and Kagome looked up. Rin was trying to tell her the answer by dripping candle-wax onto the ground. Kagome threw another handful of herbs into the boiling water and sat down to watch her, she had not really expected Rin to know the answer. It took Rin somewhile and by the time she had finished, the herbs had already cooled down. When Kagome squinted her eyes to focus on the ground with messily melted wax, her eyes almost popped out.

"Eight hundred!"

Jaken mumbled curses in his sleep but continued to snore, whilst Rin closed her smiling eyes and nodded. Kagome stood there, not understanding how anyone could look so youthful, dashing and yet so strong and agile when he was a good eight hundred years old. A muffled sound shook her out from her trance and she tensed, inwardly praying hard that his attacker was not behind her. But another muffled sound reached her ears, and Kagome scrambled to her patient in the inner cavern, with Rin tailing behind her and they almost tripping each other.

"Rin..."

Kagome gasped loudly, while Rin lunged forward and cried loudly into the taiyoukai's chest. Kagome placed her ear near Sesshoumaru's mouth and heard his dry brittle voice calling out to Rin a second time. She drew herself up and hugged Rin tightly, the corners of her mouth curling up and unable to stop the tears that trickled down her cheeks.

Kagome knew that she was right, that somewhere deep inside his right chest, Sesshoumaru had a heart, and a soul. As she stroked Rin's small head, she had never felt more sure of saving him than now.

* * *

Kagome returned with her trusty backpack full of instant ramen, snacks, ground herbs, sugar and an extra wintercoat for Rin. She had thought of bringing another one for Jaken but there was none that would fit him and she convinced herself that Jaken's slimy skin would have likely blocked out most of the cold.

Rin was only too happy and grateful to see the wintercoat and her silent smiles were all that Kagome needed. Even though Rin had remained stubbornly silent, Kagome knew that she would talk again. The incident that happened last night was proof to her that Rin was not mute. Kagome knelt beside Sesshoumaru and brushed his heavy silver bangs aside, gently tracing the outline of the crescent moon on his pale forehead, _if only you will wake up..._

His forehead was dotted with beads of cold damp perspiration, and she could see that his eyebrows were burrowed into a light frown, while his pale dry lips were slightly parted. _He must be having a nightmare..._ Kagome thought to herself as she tucked her hair behind her ears and leaned forward to remove the wet green gauze around his head. The distinct medicinal scent of the herbs wafted into her nostrils and Kagome could not help but to scrunch her face and hold her breath as long as possible. Once the gauze was removed, she realized that the mossy green herbs had turned a dark green shade. So dark and intense was the green that it was almost black.

"Sou ka... these herbs actually suck out the poison..." Kagome marvelled to herself at Jinenji's knowledge and use of the herbs. She scraped the blackened herbs carefully away from his face and applied a thick layer of fresh green paste. Kagome wondered to herself how long more she would have to take care of him, not that she really minded but her mind was on Inuyasha and her friends. She was eager to visit them but it was just impossible for her to leave Sesshoumaru with Rin and Jaken. Rin was too young to take care of Sesshoumaru, while Jaken was too small, and honestly not very helpful nor powerful to defend them from attacks or unfriendly intruders.

She pinched the bridge of her nose in an attempt to relieve the mild headache that was coming up. Kagome had not thought over the matter much when she had acquiesed to Rin's request, and now she was starting to feel a little angry and worried. Angry that she did not think carefully before promising Rin, angry that she had allowed herself to be soft-hearted, and angry that she had to lie and keep this matter from Inuyasha's knowledge. She was doing something behind his back, and she knew that it was not something that he would be happy about. She was not technically betraying him, but she knew that Inuyasha would not understand.

And Kagome was worried too. If Sesshoumaru would never recover, or go blind, what could she do? What would she have to do? And what would happen to Rin and Jaken?

All of a sudden, she felt as if a whole load of responsibility was dumped onto her head, and she was not even part of their entourage, not to mention that Sesshoumaru had attempted to kill her and Inuyasha before. _Besides.. it's not as if I can protect them either. I'll probably get myself killed without knowing and it's not even my fault that this happened..._ She pressed her fingers firmly onto her temples, hoping that the irritating headache would go away and sighed to herself. Kagome closed her eyes drearily and thumped her fist lightly against her forehead, "what have you got yourself into baka?"

"Mi..."

Kagome opened her eyes and stared at Sesshoumaru, "nani? Sesshoumaru?" She was not sure whether she had heard him talk. The twitch in his lips caused her to press her ear to his lips as near as possible without touching it. The rough weak voice reached her ears again as she strained to hear what he was trying to say. "Mi..zu..."

"Ah! Chotto matte!" Kagome sprung up like a cat and immediately rummaged her bag for her waterbottle. When said item was found, she instantly dipped her fingers into the cool drinking water and moistened his lips, hoping that this would somehow quench his thirst. She was amazed that his healing had progressed so fast, since she did not expect him to wake up nor talk so soon. But the little water that Kagome tried to smear onto his lips were not enough and this time round, his moan was louder and more insistent.

"Mizu... mizu..."

Kagome frowned and pouted her lips, she was not sure whether she wanted to feed him water but it seemed cruel of her not to do so. Besides, she was not one to take promises lightly, especially to children. She slumped her shoulders and let out another defeated sigh, there was no way she could escape this. To ask Rin to feed him was just simply not right, and Kagome doubted Jaken would dare to do such a thing, even if Sesshoumaru was half-dead or unconscious.

As she pressed her lips against his moist ones firmly, releasing the cool water slowly, Kagome could only hope that Sesshoumaru would have no remembrance of this. She simply could not imagine what Inuyasha would think of her and what would happen to their strained and awkward relationship. _He'll probably lose his head and try to kill Sesshoumaru again..._

When the mouthful of water was emptied, Kagome tried to draw herself up but realized that she could not. Her eyes widened in horror as Sesshoumaru tried to suck at her lower lip, and that his hands were fisted tightly in her long wavy hair. Kagome stared at the tip of his nose for three seconds before she realized that he had wanted to drink more water. After some forceful struggling and tugging, Kagome managed to pull her mouth away for some air.

_He must be damn thirsty! Fancy latching onto my mouth like that!_ Kagome blushed deeply as she took another swig of water and returned to her patient, wondering how silly she must look to bend over a full grown man and kissing him nonetheless! She had lost count of how many times her mouth had to return to and fro between the waterbottle and his mouth, until his fists finally relaxed his hold on her hair and she could pull herself away.

Kagome trailed her tongue over her swollen lower lip, inwardly cringing at the force of his suction, all for the sake of water. She shook her head, trying to dispel the depressing thoughts that she had not only lost her first kiss to someone that she did not even remotely like, but had to continue to give her precious kisses away. "Kawaisou..." Kagome sulked to herself as she tightened the cap of her waterbottle and proceeded to prepare the boiled herbs for him.

Even till late at night, Kagome could not sleep as she tried to nurse her red and swollen lower lip. It was so sensitive that she could feel the tingling pricks all over her lip and she had to lick it gingerly while she listened to Rin's soft breathing and Jaken's long snores. _Well at least he didn't bite..._ Kagome prodded her lip gently with her cold fingers, desperately wishing that she had brought a mirror along with her to assess the damage herself, since she could not possibly ask Rin, nor risk answering the ridiculous questions that would be raised by Jaken.

She turned on her side, and rested her head on her left arm, again wondering what her feudal friends and her family were doing. She let out a soft sigh and looked up to her patient. Under the weak moonlight that filtered into the cave, she could see the gleam from his long silver hair and his chest heaving up and down slowly. The actions were oddly soothing and she was slipping into her dreams when a loud choke woke her up.

Kagome instantly sat up and grabbed for her bow, her eyes wide and scanning around for any unfamiliar presence when she heard it again. She turned her face and realized that Sesshoumaru was moaning out loud, in pain. Still wrapped in her thick black trenchcoat, Kagome got out of her sleeping bag and crawled to Sesshoumaru, resting her hand against his forehead. "Atsui!" Kagome gasped to herself, his forehead was so hot that she did not know whether it was because her hand was too cold or that he was running a terribly high fever.

Sesshoumaru frowned and squeezed his already shut eyes hard. Dark hazy images were flitting through his mind as if he was flipping the pages of a book hurriedly. In his mind, he saw a tall man with dark hair, attacking him relentlessly. Blood, dark red blood was in every image that appeared and he could feel the sharp stabbing pain through his abdomen and left chest. His clawed hand subconciously went up and pressed hard against the wound, hoping that the pain would go away.

He could hear someone crying, it was high-pitched and loud, and it sounded familiar. It was a child, a female, crying and calling out for him, even though he could not hear it clearly, but he knew she was calling out to him. Sesshoumaru tossed his head from side to side as another image of a small girl, clad in orange-checkered kimono, knelt on the ground crying hard. He wanted to go to her, to pat her head, but the image disappeared and the next one was filled with blood-curdling shrieks, and more blood splattered around the walls. He knew that it was the child's blood, and his heart twisted around itself in agony and in anger.

_Rin._

The name came to his memory and at that very moment, he felt as if his eyes were on fire, and they hurt so badly that he almost could not breathe.

Kagome tried to pull his hand away before his claws ripped open the newly closed tender wound, but it would not budge no matter how hard she tried. Sesshoumaru was thrashing around on his furry pelt and she knew that he was waking up, in the middle of the night where no one could help her. Whether he was moaning, or crying, she could not be sure. She tried to pry his fingers off the shirt, hoping that it would work before the whole wound re-opened itself. Kagome could feel the damp sticky sensation of his blood on her fingers and she panicked, "Sesshoumaru! Yame ro! Sesshoumaru! Okite kudasai!"

Her shouts woke Rin and Jaken up, who rushed to her side the next instant and tried to calm the agitated taiyoukai down before he inflict more wounds onto his yet healing body. All three were trying their very best when Sesshoumaru suddenly sat up and flung his right arm out, roaring out in pain. Rin and Jaken were flung back against the walls of the inner cavern, obviously shaken and frightened to their core. They had never seen their lord behaving as such, he would not even mutter a sound in pain, but now, he was shouting and roaring so loudly that their eardrums shook.

Kagome in the meanwhile held onto his arm tightly, digging her fingernails into his muscles as Sesshoumaru shook his head hard, his mind reeling from the pain. He could see the flames of fire licking at his face and he thought he would go blind from that intensity and brightness. With one forceful swing, Sesshoumaru flung Kagome away and immediately try to pull the bandages off from his head. Kagome instantly got to her feet and latched herself to his right arm tightly like a leech, "yamete Sesshoumaru! Dame yo! Yamete!"

Rin and Jaken were stunned and shocked as they sat jaw-loose on the ground silently and motionlessly, not daring to move an inch as they watched Kagome trying to prevent their lord from hurting himself more. Before they knew it, Sesshoumaru had gotten to his feet and swayed around dangerously, knocking into the odd bend of the wall as he howled out in pain like an angry dog. Kagome was terrified beyond description as she was swung around like a lifeless doll in the air. She knew that Sesshoumaru was pained beyond his threshold of tolerance but there was nothing that she could do other than to hold onto his right arm and yell out his name, hoping that he would wake from his pained trance as soon as possible before anyone got hurt.

Or killed.

It almost hurt her heart, to see the Great Sesshoumaru, who had never ever showed his fear or indicated his pain, to be in such torturous pain that he could not free himself from, Kagome thought to herself when suddenly a stream of bright moonlight and cold air hit her face.

She opened her eyes in shock and realized that Sesshoumaru had wandered out from the cave and was tottering dangerously on the precipice. Her mind froze as her legs were dragged around on the snow-covered ground, they could fall over any moment if... But she had no time to think as her weight tipped the balance and her feet left the edge of the cliff. Both fell over the edge like dominoes, Kagome first and then Sesshoumaru as she pulled the subconscious taiyoukai down with her.

All she saw and heard were Ah-Un's curious yellow eyes staring at them and Rin's high-pitched screams, resounding through her ears and swiftly disappearing as cold blasts of wind blew past her face and flew through her hair hard. She felt as if she was weightless and yet at the same time, ironically dense as both followed the law of gravity.

Kagome felt herself being flipped upwards and blinked her eyes, seeing that Sesshoumaru was now beneath her, and both her hands were still gripping onto his right arm for her dear life. She could see the dark crowns of the forest conifers behind him and was not sure whether he was conscious or not. His silver hair was flying around wildly, covering part of his face and he was motionless. Kagome was feeling dizzy and nauseous as they whirled down, headlong into the forest. Never had she imagined that she would die in such a way. She could not even cry, shock and fear swamped her mind and she did the only thing she could think of.

"SESSHOUMARU!"

* * *

A/N: Yes, I know that Kagome seems to talk and think to herself a lot, I see it as keeping her sanity amidst all these chaos. And I really love the last part. ) And the reviews I receive have that amazing ability to unclog my brain, just so you know. ;p

minna - everyone mitte - look!  
asoko - over there  
daijoubu ka - alright?  
otouto - younger brother  
sou ka - I see/so that's it  
baka - idiot  
nani -what  
mizu - water  
kawaisou - pitiful  
atsui - hot  
yame ro - stop it!  
okite kudasai - please wake up!  
yamete - stop it!  
dame yo - no good/don't!


	8. Chapter 8

**The Lost Memory.**

* * *

**_"Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart  
May I always be dreaming, the dreams that move my heart  
So many tears of sadness, uncountable through and through  
I know on the other side of them I'll find you_**

**_Everytime we fall down to the ground we look up to the blue sky above  
We wake to it's blueness, as for the first time  
Though the road is long and lonely and the end far away, out of sight  
I can with these two arms embrace the light"_**

**- Always with me (Spirited Away OST); directed by Hayao Miyazaki.

* * *

"SESSHOUMARU!" Kagome shouted with all her might but her voice seemed to shrivel and drown in the mighty rush of air past them.**

Sesshoumaru stared into silent darkness as he felt himself swirling downwards into nothingness. He welcomed the sudden cold, it seemed to quell the fiery pain in his head and the incredible sensation of weightlessness was driving the horrible gory images away. He could feel a pair of hands clinging onto his arm painfully, and it made him uncomfortable. He wanted to shake off that pair of hands, to continue in this dreamless and painless state, when he heard it.

The voice was soft and distant, as if someone was calling out to him urgently from the far corner of the never-ending darkness. He tried to locate the direction of that voice, but he could see nothing other than the dark hollow space that he was trapped in. He frowned when the feminine voice reached his ears again, it was louder, and more insistent this time round. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, the pain in his eyes was getting more and more intense, and his head hurt. When he opened his eyes, he saw a long slender arm trying to reach him desperately. Without a second thought, he lunged forward and closed his fingers around it.

All of a sudden, Kagome felt her left arm being grabbed and before she knew it, she was pulled down forcefully and her face was smashed onto his chest, while his right arm held her firmly to him, their bodies flushed straight. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his waist tightly and squeezed her eyes shut, mentally preparing herself for her premature death. Kagome buried her face deeper into his chest when she suddenly felt enveloped and surrounded by overwhelming youki, her mind unable to decipher and comprehend anymore.

Sesshoumaru felt his back hitting and crashing through rustling branches whilst prickly pines scratched his face and his body. His hand wound itself tighter around the woman that was crushed against his body, hoping that she would not get hurt as he tried to command his youki-cloud to slow down their descent. Kagome could hear the cracking and snapping of branches and then a loud _plop _sound. She drove her fingernails into her palms hard, creating small half crescents, fully convinced that she was dead until she heard a loud choking sound that rumbled from his chest. Something wet and icy splashed onto her face at the same time and Kagome opened her eyes in shock from the sudden coldness.

The first thing that greeted her sight was Souta's familiar dark blue shirt, dotted with wet cold snow. And long tendrils of straight silver hair looped within her black wavy locks. Realization hit Kagome and she looked up; she was lying on top of Sesshoumaru in a very suggestive position, with his hand around her waist, her breasts pressing against his heaving chest tightly while his legs wrapped themselves around hers.

"Sesshoumaru!"

Kagome could not think of anything else to say as the taiyoukai beneath her tried to breathe after the hard and not-so-graceful landing. The pain from the initial backache was now doubled with the throbbing headache and he thanked his lucky stars that they had fell onto a heap of thick snow instead of sharp rocks or bone-smattering boulders. It took Kagome a good while to realize that Sesshoumaru had somehow broken the deadly fall and had suffered the brunt of the impact as she stared into his opened mouth, wisps of his warm breath partially clouding her sight. She quickly scrambled off him and plopped herself on the snow beside him, not caring about how cold it was. She shook his shoulders hard, confused and frightened that she had personally delivered him to the Netherworld.

"Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru!"

The taiyoukai was being shaken so hard that giddiness replaced the splitting headache, and after finally catching his breath, he grasped one of her arms, hoping that would calm her down and stop her high-pitched shrieks before he went deaf. And it did. Kagome stopped when she felt his grasp on her left arm tightened, and then relaxed.

"Sesshoumaru?" her voice was frail and soft, even in the dead of the winter night.

"Are you... calling me?" his voice was ragged and breathy. Before he could even open his eyes, Kagome crashed onto his body again and cried out loud, not giving two hoots to whether he would dissolve her with his acid-poison or simply shred her into pieces with his claws. She was so glad and relieved that he was alive, and that she had inot/i sent him to Hades. Sesshoumaru was stunned and shocked for a good minute, before he patted her back and mumbled, "aa..."

He could feel her hot tears sliding down his neck and her long hair was strewn wildly over his face, infiltrating his nose with the most incredible scent he could ever think of. It was light and clean, yet held that tinge of soft sweetness. It somehow reminded him of the fresh scent of wild flowers, after the summer rain had washed the stifling heat away from the earth.

"You smell nice..." Sesshoumaru mumbled again into the masses of sweet smelling hair, as he twirled a lock of her smooth raven hair between his fingers and brought it up to his face. Kagome froze at his words and tensed. It was so unlike of Sesshoumaru, to save her and then pay her a compliment on her bodily scent. Kagome instantly drew herself away from Sesshoumaru and crawled backwards, not knowing whether it was better to fall to one's death or to get killed by a youkai later. He was afterall a taiyoukai.

Sesshoumaru was confused at her reaction and opened his eyes, but he could not see anything at all. The fiery pain suddenly returned to him and he clutched his head, hissing in pain as he tried to get up. But his foot slipped on the wet thick snow and he fell forward, face down into the pristine white snow. Kagome gasped loudly, inwardly wondering whether Sesshoumaru had gone mad as he flipped over and laid on the snow motionlessly.

"Why can I not see?" his low voice was soft, yet thunderous in her ears. Kagome did not dare to answer him, lest he sensed that she was her, the miko who travelled with Inuyasha, the ningen who had once bravely stood up to him, the onna who had denied him Tessaiga three years ago.

When she did not answer, Sesshoumaru used his forefinger and sliced the uncomfortable gauze that was wound around his head carefully. He then brought his hand up before his face and forced his eyes open, causing the newly healed skin to split again. He winced in pain and gritted his teeth, but he still could not see. Everything was pitch black, yet he could hear the onna's sharp breaths, smell her fear and confusion, and feel the cold snow underneath his skin.

"Am I blind?" his voice was toneless, but Kagome thought that she could almost hear the despair and helplessness in it. She shook her head, and chided herself mentally that he could not see her.

"Iie, demo... shiranai. Gomen ne..." Kagome apologized for her lack of words, she could not assure him a speedy recovery or promised him that he would regain his sight. And for this, she felt oddly apologetic and depressed.

Sesshoumaru remained silent for a long while as he laid his right arm over his abdomen and stared into the midnight sky. He could feel the throbbing pains in his body and the soft fluttering of snowflakes as they landed on his face and eyelids. Kagome's fists relaxed when she saw that he was not going to kill her, yet. But she still could not summon up the needed courage and guts to go near and check on his wounds. She was wondering how she was going to go back to the cave when he suddenly spoke again.

"Why are you afraid of me?"

Confusion replaced the fear and anxiety that was reflected in her deep molten orbs. Kagome's lips parted slightly as she cocked her head to one side, not knowing how to answer him. "Sesshoumaru.. sama?"

The taiyoukai did not move from his spot as he turned his face to her, revealing the ugly scarred flesh around his eyes, "is that my name?"

Kagome's eyebrows shot up in surprise and adjusted her position before her limbs got frozen from the numbing snow, "you... don't remember?"

Sesshoumaru sat up slowly, not wanting to scare her away. It seemed that she was his only clue, to who and where he was. He guessed that she knew him, since they fell to the snow together and even addressed him respectfully.

"Aa, it seems like that to me," he tried to rub the fresh icy snow into his face, it was amazingly refreshing and cooling for the burning pain around his eyes. Kagome narrowed her eyes, wondering whether it was the fall that had knocked the sense out of him or he was just waiting for an opportunity to kill her. _Iie, he's not like that. He could kill me just now, but he chose to save me..._ Kagome was trying to sort through her maze of thoughts when he spoke again.

"Who are you?" Sesshoumaru sat up and crossed his legs in a lotus position, his back straight as he faced her. Though he could not see her, he could still locate her position and gauged the distance between them to be about ten steps.

Kagome stared at Sesshoumaru, not understanding how he could remain so calm and unperturbed, as if nothing had ever happened.  
_He must be still in pain..._ She saw trickles of blood flowing down his face and winced, not sure whether she should reveal her real name, or give a fake one. She eventually decided that it was no good lying to him, he would discover it sooner or later and she was not prepared to lose her life over a lie.

"Kagome, my name is Kagome."

Sesshoumaru paused for a while, and nodded his head gravely. He had no inkling of her name at all; he could not even remember his own. He fingered the bandages around his waist and chest, "did you.. take care of my wounds?"

Kagome could only squeak a soft yes.

_She is afraid of me..._ he thought to himself and decided that he would have to quell her fear, he had no intentions to harm her. In fact, he needed her, to help him regain his memory. It was as if there was some unresolved issue, unsettled business left at the back of his mind, nagging at him constantly, to tie up the loose ends and cut away the irritating knots.

"Arigatou," he bowed his head slightly and stared into her face expressionless. To Kagome's chagrin, she realized that the streak of pride and arrogance had not left him even though he seemed to have lost his memory. She crawled to him warily, still feeling a little tense at the possibility that he might strike her. Sesshoumaru could feel her warm breaths against his cool skin and stilled, not daring to make any abrupt moves lest he frightened her again.

"Ano... can I clean your wounds?" Kagome asked politely as she pulled out her personal hankerchief from her pocket. Sesshoumaru nodded his head stiffly and thought that his caretaker had the most soothing and melodious voice he had ever heard. And when Kagome leaned forward, her scent flooded his nostrils and filled his mind with images of large wild flowerfields.

"You smell nice," he said as she dabbed carefully on the caked blood, which seemed to coagulate fast. The hankerchief in her hand halted at his remark, and then she smiled. His remark instantly brought back painful yet fond memories. Inuyasha had once made that very same comment to her as he laid his head on her lap. It was the night of the new moon, and Inuyasha had been thoroughly exhausted after the fight with a cunning spider youkai, what with the transformation back to human. She could never forget such things, it was locked away in the most secure chamber of her mind. It was funny to her that both brothers made the exact same comment to her, and both were not in their usual spiteful nature.

He could sense the pause in her movements, and frowned slightly when the unmistakeable scent of salty tears reached his nose.  
"Have I said something wrong?"

Kagome shook her head and brushed away her tears, "iie. It's just that... someone said the exact same words to me once before..."

"Is he your lover?" the next question came out almost immediately.

Kagome paused, not knowing how to answer this question. She proceeded to brush the remaining blood-stained snow away from his eyes gently, "shiranai..."

He raised one of his perfect eyebrows and tilted his head by a fraction, "a one-sided love then."

Kagome laughed out nervously while cursing his intelligence inwardly, "maa.. you can say that..."

"Hmm," was all that he said as Kagome continued her task. It seemed to her that Sesshoumaru had indeed lost his memory, if he could not even remember his own name. She looked at him warily, but could not detect any falsehood in his voice nor his questions.

"How are we related?" Sesshoumaru had a thousand and one questions in his head that were dying to be answered. He was not a very patient person, and these questions muddled his head as random images spun around.

Kagome sat down opposite him and pulled up the collar of her wintercoat, wondering how long they would have to stay out in the open forest, in the middle of nowhere and under falling snow. It took her sometime before she got the right words out of her mouth as she tried to figure out the best way to answer him.

"I am your... ally."

"Ally?" his lips tightened into a firm straight line. Yes, he had enemies, this part was recollecting itself in his mind fast as a vague image of a tall man with dark wavy hair came to his mind. Red eyes glinted voraciously at him. _Someone has injured me, someone tried to kill me._

"Hai, ally. We are fighting against the same enemy."

"We?"

Kagome slapped her forehead, now she had to explain who 'we' were. "Um... I am not part of your group. I travel with my friends."

"Who are your friends? Whois under my care? Who is my enemy?" Sesshoumaru pressed on, he needed to find out as much as possible before he got attacked again.

Kagome bit her lips, things were progressing too fast for her liking. "I travel with a kitsune-youkai, a houshi, a taijiya and... your otouto."

"Otouto?" Sesshoumaru was beginning to develop a small headache. He had not stopped to think that he might have a family. The idea seemed unusually far-fetched to him.

"Erm... his name is Inuyasha."

"Inu...yasha... it sounds familiar," Sesshoumaru pursed his lips as he thought hard. He seemed to have some hazy recollections of said person but yet could not put a finger to it, to whether he like him or not. Kagome took the chance to continue and hoped that he would forget about Inuyasha for now.

"Also, you travel with a kappa-youkai called Jaken, and you have a young human ward. Her name is Rin."

Sesshoumaru was jerked away from his train of thoughts instantly, "Rin?"

Kagome smiled and thought of how happy Rin would be if she knew that her beloved lord was alive and kicking, "hai. You saved her from the ookami-youkai and brought her back to life with Tenseiga."

"Did I?" Sesshoumaru asked absentmindedly, the name sounded very familiar, and held some value of importance in his mind. Tenseiga too. A bright blue arc of light flashed past his eyes as he tried to recall the girl from his jumbled up memories.

"Ee, she follows you wherever you go," Kagome rubbed her palms together vigorously and suspected that Sesshoumaru's skin was made of hide.

"Who is our enemy then?"

She narrowed her eyes and stared at her soggy sneakers, "Naraku."

Sesshoumaru remained silent, the name sounded offensive and repulsive to him.

"Why do you take care of me then?" Sesshoumaru thought that it was almost too good that she had offered to take care of him; and too easy to come up with convincing stories when he could neither see nor remember.

Kagome was stumped at his question, his tone was laced heavily with his blatant suspicion and doubt, and she could not help but to feel that her help and kindness had gone unreciprocated.

"You! What do you mean! I almost died with you! So much for trying to help you!" She frowned and got to her feet, not knowing whether she should leave him now and try to get back to the cave by herself.

Sesshoumaru smirked, he was now sure that she was indeed his ally. But his little smirk did not go unnoticed and Kagome could feel heat rising up to her throat and head. She felt angry and wretched at her absurb stupidity for going so far to help someone who had tried to kill her and the man she loves, who did not even show signs of appreciation and was starting to doubt "_my selfless noble motives!"_

"What are you smirking at? You.. you... ahh-chooo!" Kagome sneezed. And before she could try to give Sesshoumaru a piece of her mind, the second sneeze had prevented it from getting out of her mouth. His smirk grew to a grin and he got to his feet fluidly, pulling his caretaker to him and held her struggling shoulders against his chest firmly. "You are cold."

Kagome stopped her fidgeting when she realized that he was trying to warm her up. She blushed hard at their intimate physical contact and tried to wriggle out, it was _so_ wrong to her. Her heart belonged to Inuyasha and she was not supposed to hug his ani-ue. But her rational side pleaded with her that she was indeed freezing and his bodily warmth was much needed. Kagome could not refute that and had to admit to herself that being pressed against him felt nice and hot. He was much better than her heater and she felt strangely protected and comforted.

"I am not," she sulked into his chest wound and thought that it sounded childish, when she let out another loud sneeze.

"Is it?" his smile widened at her trembling body.

Kagome frowned and bit her lower lip at his words. It was taunting, and his voice held that edge of seduction that she did not like at all. This was all too strange, being held by a taiyoukai who did not even consider himself as their ally before. She stepped hard on his boot and took the opportunity to wriggle out from his iron grasp, "I am fine."

The smile was wiped off from his face at her cold reply and he remained silent, wondering how many minutes would pass before she would admit that she was freezing. He had not expected her to be such a stubborn person, and with such a quick temper too.

Kagome stared into his face as he stood proudly and steadily before her, he did not look injured nor in pain at all. She hated the silence that followed her reply, his face revealed zilch expression and neither did he move nor respond. It frustrated Kagome to no end and she jabbed her finger into his right chest, earning a slightly surprised look from him.

"You pompous-" her voice was promptly cut off as loud, long howls resounded through the thick woods, sending even colder shivers up her spine as her finger froze on his chest. Images of dead deers dragged around and torn apart by wild hungry beasts from a National Geographic documentary flashed across her mind and Kagome gulped.

"They must be attracted to my blood..." Sesshoumaru remarked to himself absentmindedly, wondering how many of such insignificant hungry ookami he could handle in his current condition when Kagome suddenly ducked to his back and yelped, "kuso! I can see them!" A dozen pair of faint gleaming yellow eyes stared back at her hungrily as the wolves made their way slowly to their prey.

Sesshoumaru raised his right eyebrow at her use of uncouth language but thought better than to say anything, "aa, I know."

Kagome tugged hard at the shirt and prayed that they would have enough energy and time to flee, "hayaku, ikimasho!"

He called forth a string of youki to his right fingers and Kagome could see the bright green whip as it sizzled against the snow, "naze? They can serve as food."

Before she could retort that she did not have much faith in his current condition and that her trusty bow was not with her, Sesshoumaru flexed his youki-whip and said, "matte." All she heard was one loud whoosh as his acid-whip sliced through the air and swooped down to the pack of ookami. A soft crack sound followed, and one of the head of the wolves was flung far away from its body. Her jaw dropped at his accurate aim as the rest of the wolves whimpered and fled. _Obviously his lack of sight does not affect him..._ Kagome was still in a daze as Sesshoumaru returned to her without the carcass.

"Lowly youkai that are inedible, a waste of my effort," he mumbled as he knelt down on one knee.

Kagome could only stare at him, she thought that she would have been made a delicious meal for the ookami-youkai. Sesshoumaru sighed inwardly at her silence, it seemed to him that Kagome was suffering from a minor shock and he did not feel good that his capabilities were doubted, even though he had no idea how he did it.

"Get onto my back."

"Huh?"

He let out an audible soft sigh this time round, "we need to get back right? You are my eyes for now."

Kagome could only nod her head and clambered onto his warm back obediently, locking her arms around his neck, "the cave should be right in front of us, up there."

He hooked his right arm under the back of her knee and replied curtly, "I will not be responsible if you fall you know."

* * *

A/N: Im sorry if Sesshoumaru is a little OOC and confusing. But I hope you can understand that he has lost his memory, his sight, and he has a vague idea of certain things in his mind, but they are all too hazy for him to understand. His character might appear a little vague, uncertain, exploratory and that's how I wish it to be. ;p And oh, feel free to shoot me any questions. I know I left out quite a few explanations but its hard to include everything ne?

daijoubu - Im alright/Im fine  
ningen - human  
onna - woman/female  
iie - no  
demo - but  
shiranai - I don't know  
gomen ne - sorry (casual form)  
arigatou - thanks (casual form)  
ano - excuse me/erm  
maa - well.  
kitsune - fox  
taijiya - demon exterminator  
houshi - monk (buddhist)  
otouto - younger brother  
ookami - wolf  
ee - equivalent to yes, like "aa", "hai"  
kuso - fk/shit  
hayaku, ikimasho! - quick, let's go!  
naze - why  
matte - wait


	9. Chapter 9

**The Triangle.**

**_"I wish to go back in time, to try and hold you in my arms  
to see the world that you see, and to be in your dreams  
_****_I wish to go back in time, to try and continue our story  
and to never let you slip away from me again."_**

**- Lyrics from a chinese song**

* * *

The flu that Kagome was harbouring and the winter cold made her so drowsy that she had lost count of the number of times she had to pinch herself in order to keep her eyes open. The fact that she was curled over his back comfortably did not help too. He was warm and her body seemed to meld into his firm lean back nicely, as if her body was proportioned just for him. She pressed her freezing cheek against the arch of his long neck, his hot bare skin was deliciously soothing and comfortable.

As Sesshoumaru journeyed upwards, Kagome could not help but to find the way that their hair looped around each other interesting. Her long black wavy ones were twisted loosely around his long straight silver locks, which shone under the moonlight as they bounced against his chest. It seemed that no matter how they jolted against each other, her curls just would not let loose of his silver hair; and they in return seemed to stay obediently within the grasp of her big curls. It was also weird that she did not feel one bit of fear that she was on his back, it was just like the way Inuyasha had carried her for the past three years.

"Koko?" Sesshoumaru adjusted his grip over her thighs as he landed. Kagome looked around and shook her head. She could not recognize anything familiar and regretted for not being more vigilant about her surroundings.

"Iie," Kagome gave the same answer for the eighteenth time, feeling quite apologetic and at the same time wondering why they could not find their way back, unless they were not falling straight down. She turned her head around and thought that their environment did not seem to change at all. Rocks, cliff walls, pine trees were all around them.

Sesshoumaru let out another disappointed sigh, Kagome was as bad as he had thought in regards to her sense of direction. He did not understand why but it had occured to him that she was rather unskilled in protecting and defending herself in the wild. He mentally cursed himself for not being able to see but quickly decided that it was not practical nor realistic to delve in such pointless thoughts. He would be fine, even though the pains in his body bothered him, but it was not something beyond his threshold of tolerance. _But she will freeze to death..._

Kagome heard the soft sigh and felt really useless at their current predicament. He had to carry her even though he was injured badly and all she could do was to be 'his eyes'. Kagome highly doubted that he would be lost if he could see and rested her chin dejectedly on his shoulder, aplogizing softly, "gomen ne..."

He closed his eyes and let out another long-held breath. His back was beginning to hurt and the pains were growing in intensity, especially around his eyes. He knew that he could not go on anymore and it was probably futile to do that in the night. They would have to continue when dawn breaks and he would take the much needed break in the meanwhile. Sesshoumaru knelt on his knee and tilted his face a little to her, "it's not your fault. The night is not favourable for your human sight, we shall rest here."

Kagome nodded silently and slipped off his back, sorely missing his bodily heat which was so utterly comfortable. She sat on the snow-covered ground with her legs splayed out, feeling terribly exhausted and depressed. "Sumimasen, I'm really of no help at all."

Sesshoumaru straightened and stretched his back a little, not knowing what to say in reply to her apology. It was true that she had not managed to guide them back to their so-called cave, and he wondered whether they would be able to make it even in the day. He stretched his only hand out to her, "Kagome, you can bring us to somewhere we can rest here, at least."

The weary miko could only oblige as she took his clawed hand and tried to stand up. Her two feet felt as if they were bound with lead and the slippery wet snow could not make it anymore difficult for her. Images of her warm nice bed, thick blankets and soft furry slippers swam into her sight and before she knew it, she tottered and slipped. Almost.

Sesshoumaru felt the grasp on his hand waning and he immediately bent forward, slipping his arm around her waist and pulled her up against his body. Kagome muttered an apology and closed her eyes, her head spun from the near-slip yet heavy with her guilt and exhaustion at the same time, "I think I'm sick." She then wrapped her arms around his neck like a teddy bear, not caring whether she would be killed for her impudence. The taiyoukai was stunned but he merely remained silent and slipped his hand under her butt, lifting her up until she could rest her chin on his shoulder.

"Kagome, could you at least tell me whether there is a tree nearby before you fall asleep?" his voice held that edge of desperation to which it went unnoticed by his sick companion.

"Right in front of me..." her voice trailed off and she leaned her head against the curve of his neck, feeling all too ready to doze off.

Sesshoumaru sighed inwardly and turned around, taking small slow steps until his foot kicked against the base of something hard. "Is it here?"

His reply was met with her grunt, to which he promptly sat down slowly and leaned against the tree, inwardly feeling relieved that they had at least found somesort of a shelter. _Anything is better than nothing,_ he thought to himself wryly. When Kagome did not let go of her arms and remained curled on his lap, Sesshoumaru could not help but to ask, "are you sure we are _only_ allies?"

She adjusted her butt until a more comfortable position was found, "hn... I think so..."

His lips parted slightly at her ambiguous reply and when he heard her heavy, evened-out breathing, he decided that he would have to discover the answer for himself, for somewhere in his mind he knew that Kagome would not tell him the whole truth. He inwardly suspected that he might have harboured feelings for her before he got injured and lost his memory. And he tried hard not to think about how soft her body felt against him, nor how comfortable her weight was.

_Afterall, you are such a funny, little interesting creature._ He rested his chin on her sweet-smelling head and drifted off to the much-needed sleep.

* * *

"Miroku, I miss Kagome," Shippou propped his chin on his two pawed hands as he stared at the pictures he had drawn on the drawing paper that Kagome had brought for him. The houshi opened his eyes from his meditation and peered at the white thick paper. He had to admit that the kitsune-youkai had excellent drawing skills as he looked at the five people he had outlined with strange-looking colored utensils.

"Shippou, it has only been four days. Do not be impatient, Kagome-sama will return to visit us soon as long as she have finished her studies."

Sango took a break from polishing her Hiraikotsu and looked at the dismayed kitsune, "we miss her too. But Kagome-chan needs to spend time with her family ne? I am sure that she will bring you more candies since she'll won't be returning so soon."

Shippou bounced up and crawled onto Miroku's lap anxiously, "nani? Is she not celebrating the New Year with us?" Miroku smiled and tried to reassure him, "I am sure that Kagome-sama will still celebrate the New Year with us. What do you think Sango?"

The taijiya nodded her head and ruffled Kirara's head, "and it's only a month away. So don't think about it so much and time will go by faster than you think."

Shippou folded his arms crossly and sulked, "why can't Inuyasha keep her with us?"

Miroku glanced at Sango, hoping that she would respond, but the taijiya merely shrugged her shoulders and returned to her Hiraikotsu, polishing it studiously.

"It's all Inuyasha's fault," Shippou seethed in anger and wished that he could go into the well and bring Kagome back. She would take care of him, joke with him and she cared for him, almost, like his own mother. Miroku sighed inwardly, it seemed to him that Kagome, Inuyasha and Kikyou would be trapped in this triangle unless something drastic happened.

"Shippou, things... are not as easy as it seems between Inuyasha and Kagome-sama."

"Wakatte ru! Kagome is just too kind and big-hearted," Shippou answered vehemently.

"Hai, demo it is not only that. I believe she knows about all these too, but affairs of the heart are not that easy to manage and unless she wants to remove the knot herself, things will not change between Inuyasha and her," Miroku tried to explain to the best he could.

"Dakara, Inuyasha has to make the decision between Kikyou and Kagome-chan. Demo it seems that he is unwilling to do it," Sango added.

"Naze? Can someone really like two persons at the same time?" Shippou asked curiously.

It was Miroku's turn to shrug his shoulders, "Shippou, you might be too young to understand this. But yes and no, it is possible, and impossible to like more than one person at the same time."

Shippou cocked his head to one side, not understanding what he was trying to say.

The houshi rested his chin on his hand and thought for a while, "you can like more than one person at the same time. Just like how you love your father, mother and your siblings. Demo the feelings we are talking about between Inuyasha and Kagome-sama should only be reserved between two and no one else. Love is not possessive, but unfortunately, it cannot be shared between three people. Inuyasha could still be figuring out whether he prefers Kikyou-sama or Kagome-sama. Or perhaps, he is not even thinking about it at all."

Sango nodded her head and sighed out loud, "poor Kagome-chan, always being neglected when Kikyou arrives. I would personally kill the other party if such a thing happen to me."

Miroku gulped nervously and tried to smile at her, "I'm not like Inuyasha!"

Sango blushed hard at his desperate attempt and turned her face away, "I'm not insinuating anything! Don't you get the wrong idea!"

Shippou could not help but to giggle at Miroku's crestfallen face, "Miroku, are you heart-broken now?"

The houshi winked at the kitsune and pressed his palm against his chest dramatically, "mochiron! There is no one else in my heart other than..."

"Houshi-sama! Where is Inuyasha?" Sango started to search around the house in a frantic bid to stop Miroku from completing the rest of his sentence, to which he grinned at her red-tinged cheeks. He planted Shippou on the wooden floor and got to his feet swiftly, not wanting his beloved to feel embarrassed anymore, "aa, I'll go and look for him now."

Sango nodded her head and turned her back on Miroku, not wanting to let him see the smile she tried so hard to keep within herself. Shippou slumped his shoulders with a bittersweet smile on his face, wondering when Inuyasha and Kagome would behave like Miroku and Sango.

* * *

Inuyasha adjusted his straw hat and knelt down beside Kaede as they swept the snow away and placed white crysanthemums on the small cement tomb. Even though they knew that her ashes were no longer inside there, Kaede felt it her responsibility to continue to take care of it, it was afterall her sister's grave.

"Inuyasha, do you still pin for Kikyou-oneesama?" The elderly miko straightened her back as she looked at the stone tablet dry-eyed.  
"Why do you always ask me such questions baa-baa?" the hanyou retorted back softly.

She clapped her hands together and bowed once, while Inuyasha remained stiff-backed. Kaede stared at the tablet for a long while before speaking, "or have you made your decision?"

The red-clad hanyou did not reply but merely lowered his face. Kaede sighed and made her last remark as she walked back to her hut slowly, "spare a thought for Kagome too."

Inuyasha closed his eyes, a part of him wished that he had never met Kagome. He knew that he could not return her love for him, and eventually would have to leave her. He owed Kikyou too much, simply too much.

"Inuyasha?"

He knew that Miroku was standing by his side and opened his eyes, "you heard everything."

"Aa," Miroku nodded his head once.

Silence hung between the two grown men as they stood silently before the empty tomb. Miroku knew that Inuyasha was torn between the two women, even though he often teased him and stood on Kagome's side. But he truthfully felt that if he were in Inuyasha's shoes, he would have no better idea on what to do either. All that he could offer, was his silent support. That was all that he could do as his friend.

"Miroku, have I done anything wrong?" Inuyasha finally asked.

Miroku thought hard for a while, "yes and no."

When Inuyasha did not respond, Miroku continued, "if you had made a clean break with Kagome-sama three years ago, things might have been easier to settle. But it is no point wishing that things were different now. If I were you, I would be stuck too. At the very least, you have not given her any empty promises that you cannot fufill."

The hanyou could not help but to smile bitterly at his words.

"Inuyasha, we are outsiders, and will not fully understand what is going on between you and Kagome-sama, nor you and Kikyou-sama. But I hope that you will make a decision soon and let her know. Kagome-sama is a kind-hearted and sensible lady, she will understand."

Inuyasha squeezed his golden eyes shut, "I have already made up my mind a long time ago, when I promised my life to Kikyou. And, Kagome knows."

* * *

Kagome saw his familiar hunched back, and someone else was standing beside him, holding his hands tightly. She took a few steps forward, wanting to make sure that it was him. "Inuyasha?" He turned around slowly and she saw his golden eyes, gazing forlornly and sadly back at her. "Sumanai Kagome..." The woman beside him turned her head too, and Kagome's breath hitched at her throat.

"Iie... this can't be true..." Kagome shook her head and took a step back.

Kikyou's firm and low voice travelled through the light mist, "you know that this will eventually happen. Don't you?"

She could not speak, for there was nothing that she could say. The mist thickened, and she ran forward, searching around frantically for him, but all she saw was his empty fire-rat kimono lying on the ground.

Sesshoumaru frowned, he could feel someone trembling against his chest. When it finally registered on his mind that Kagome was sleeping on him, he woke up, and to great alarm that she was crying to herself. He nudged her shoulders and called out her name softly, "Kagome?"

But she did not respond, and he realized that she was crying in her sleep. He dismissed away the thought that she was having a nightmare, because her cries were so soft, as if she was crying alone in her dream. He could not see her, but he could feel her crushed spirit from her heart-broken cries. Sesshoumaru knew that he would have to wake her up soon, he did not like to see her crying like that. It pulled and tugged at his heart, making him feel uncomfortable and awkward, and he hated that feeling.

"Kagome, Kagome," Sesshoumaru shook her shoulders but she still did not respond. His frown deepened a little, wondering whether she was also lost in her own black world, unable to differentiate between dreams and reality. He felt for her damp cheeks and pinched hard, then pulled her away from him and shouted, "Kagome! Okiru!"

It worked. Kagome opened her eyes in shock, from the sudden jerk and the lack of his warmth. A pair of golden eyes were staring at her, almost angrily. Almost, like the way Inuyasha always did. Tears flowed down her face, despite her relieved smile and she reached out her right hand, gently cupping his left cheek. "Yokatta... you did not leave me..."

Sesshoumaru was both unnerved at her intimate gesture and curious at her words. Though he had not known Kagome for long, his common sense told him that it was unlike of her to touch him in such a way, that was almost painful for him to acknowledge. Her touch was light and feathery, leaving tingling sensations on his cheek. A part of his heart yearned for such affection, yet the rest of himself was shying away from it, hoping to get away as far as possible.

Images of a young girl decked in orange checkered-kimono flashed across his mind, and he yearned to pat her head, to smooth down her messy hair, to see her smile again. "Why would I leave you?" he croaked, there was a lump in his throat and he felt as if his heart was choking from the sudden gush of unknown emotions.

His voice shook her out from her trance, and Kagome realized that she was looking at Sesshoumaru, not Inuyasha. Her beloved hanyou had a gruff and coarse voice; but the one she heard was low and smooth. It had all been a dream, even though it felt so real that she almost could not differentiate their eyes. Her eyebrows drooped, the smile left her face and she looked away as her fingers left his cheek.

"Gomen ne, I had a bad dream," her listless voice was toneless.

Sesshoumaru doubted that it was merely a bad dream but did not say anything. He was glad that she had stopped crying and placed his hand on her forehead, it felt a little too warm for his liking. "You are sick."

"Wakaru," was her soft reply as Kagome closed her eyes and leaned her head against his warm chest again, too drained to think nor move any further. She never had such a dream before, but it had seemed so real to her that she believed Inuyasha had gone with Kikyou, to somewhere so faraway that she would never reach him. It stung her heart, and the pain was unbelievably hard that it numbed her mind.

"Can I? Just for a while?"

Sesshoumaru was stunned and stumped. He had no idea what had transpired in her dream, even thought he knew that she needed rest and comfort now. And he could provide it. He thought for a long while to how he should respond.

"Aa," was his final reply as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and buried his fingers into her slightly damp hair.

* * *

A/N: Can you tell how much I love Miroku/Sango? Forgive me if this chapter turned out awful, I was listening to this incredibly sad song that reminded me of many things... And yes, I am chinese. )

dakara - and so/therefore  
koko - here  
sumimasen - Im sorry  
nani - what  
wakatte ru - I know! (Shippou is frustrated)  
demo - but  
naze - why  
mochiron - of course/certainly  
baa-baa - grandma/elderly woman/aunty (rude way of addressing one)  
sumanai - sorry (masculine)  
okiru - wake up  
yokatta - thank goodness (Kagome often uses this to indicate her relief and gladness)  
wakaru - i know/i understand


	10. Chapter 10

**Illusions.**

**_"This is one of the miracles of love: It gives a power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted."_**

**- C.S. Lewis

* * *

"Hmm," Byakuya fixed the eyeball back into his socket and smiled. They had caught rumors of sightings of the fire-neko youkai in a deep unhabitated forest and Byakuya had been instructed to keep a lookout for them. He had no idea what Naraku wanted to do, but from the look of his face, he guessed that they would strike soon. Byakuya glanced to the side; Kanna was sitting silently at the far corner of the room not moving at all.**

"Kanna, I've found them."

The nihility youkai looked up, though she did not turn her face to him. She wondered what Inuyasha's death would be like when Byakuya's words cut off her train of thoughts.

"Not Inuyasha, but Sesshoumaru, and that miko, what's her name? Ah, Kagome. She's with him, and they seemed to be particularly close," Byakuya stretched his arms lazily and scratched his chin, pondering over the oddities of life, such as a taiyoukai hugging a miko.

Kanna could not believe her ears, and her lifeless eyes widened just a fraction. She had personally witnessed Sesshoumaru's death, and it was impossible for him to bring himself back to life with Tenseiga. She did not know of anyone else who was able to wield that life-saving katana, which seemed to obey only its master. And, she thought that he despised humans.

"Omoshiroi ne, he looks pretty injured to me. And blind too," the illusionist-youkai continued on his own, knowing that Kanna seldom spoke nor responded. He regarded her as one of his 'kin', someone who would not kill nor use him, unlike Naraku. And he held respect towards her too, afterall, she was the first and only detachment alive till now, which in itself was an amazing feat. Naraku trusted her with important secrets and information, fully convinced that she would not betray him. Whereas he was being used like a soulless tool for his dirty work, never knowing the details of Naraku's plans, while Kanna remained in the shadows safely with him.

"Ne Kanna, what happened that day when Naraku and you left? I wasn't even allowed to tag alone," Byakuya propped his chin on his right hand and looked at her. Kanna closed her eyes, she was not sure whether Byakuya was on her side or on Naraku's, and she was not prepared to tell him anything, yet.

"We should go take a look and confirm it," her wispy quiet voice was almost drowned in the silence of the room. She needed to investigate into the matter, if what Byakuya said was true. It was simply too strange for the taiyoukai to be reconciled with a ningen, what more when the said human was under Inuyasha's care and protection. Byakuya rolled his eyes at her words; he had expected the evasive reply but was also dismayed that she had diverted the subject. Which meant that it was almost impossible for him to probe further, as always.

He got up and smoothened out his kimono, Kanna was right. There was no need to confirm the matter, but he was curious to what was happening between the taiyoukai and the miko. It was an opportunity for him to gather more information which might perhaps be useful in future.

"If you like. I would like to take a look at the snow too. This winter might not last long from the looks of it."

* * *

Kagome raised a hand to shelter her eyes from the glare of the snow under the afternoon sun. She could not help but to curse at her lack of luck, her eyes were swimming from the hurtful glare and it made her head spin. The whole place was blanketed in inches of snow, covering almost every visible landmark and rock. The only thing that she could feel grateful to Kami was that it had stopped snowing, and this lessened the frustration and irritation of brushing the snow off her eyelashes constantly.

Kagome was dying to break the stifling silence as she stared at his soft silver hair. She did not want his mind to remain on the issue of her bad dream and that she had looked towards him for comfort. And to which, he had _actually_ allowed her to lie against his chest. She could feel her face getting uncomfortably hot at the thought of how comfortable his chest felt and rummaged through her mind, trying to come up with something.

"Are you still in pain?" It was not the best thing to say, but probably the most appropriate question to ask since she was on his back again. Sesshoumaru landed on a flattened boulder and lowered his stance a little, lest he lost his footing on the slippery snow. It took him a moment to catch his breath as he replied curtly, "hn."

Kagome did not miss the hint of irritation in his voice and felt worse than before. Sesshoumaru had not killed her, harmed her nor even threatened her, as per to what she had imagined initially. In fact, he had protected her from wild youkai, taken care of her during the night, offered his warmth and comfort, and piggy-backed her around even though he sustained terrible injuries. To top it off, he was blind with one arm, while she was merely running a slight fever.

"Sumimasen," she apologized softly into his ears as he took another leap high up into the air, "I really don't know where we are now."

Sesshoumaru could feel his head throbbing with a mild headache; they were truly lost in the wild woods and mountains. And there was truly nothing he could do since he was effectively a blind man. He lamented to himself for having such an ally like her.

"Kagome, can you see anything familiar at all?" he knelt down and allowed her to disengage herself from his hurting back. The miko turned her head around for a good long while, trying to see as far as she could. But nothing ever familiar or strange stood out. Everything looked the same to her as last night, as if the landscape had never changed at all.

"Strange... everything looks the same as just now. Not even a bird..." Kagome mused to herself out loud and wondered if heavy snow could alter their surroundings that much.

_"Not even a bird..."_ Sesshoumaru straightened his back abruptly and turned his head to her direction. It was true that they had never even heard the early chirping of birds, nor the long screeches made by mountain eagles. It was too silent for him to feel comfortable; it bore into his ears. He concentrated, but yet he could not feel any threatening presence nor youki around them. The silence hung so thickly in the air that he could hear her laboured breathing and the noises that her stuffed nose made.

"Kagome, we are trapped. It's an illusion," his voice was ever calm, despite the headache he was nursing.

"Nani! Illusion?" Kagome freaked out, it had never occurred to her that they could be trapped in the same spot for hours.  
"Doshiyoo..?" she could not help but to cover her eyes with the back of her hand and groan out loud at her misfortune.

Sesshoumaru ignored her pitiful groans and tried to spread his senses as far as he could. He smelt something familiar, but the scent was too faint and distant away for him to be sure. "Someone is creating this illusion, he is stalking us."

Kagome shivered a little at his voice, it was unusually low and cold. She tried to recall the words that Shippou had once told her on how to dispel illusions, but no matter how hard she tried, it just would not come to her mind.

"That bastard, Naraku. Does he work alone?" Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth. They were now facing an invisible enemy who was working from behind his own orchestrated illusions. It was indeed a tricky situation, and they could not afford to be less vigilant and alert. Just one wrong step and they would fall into the trap like defenceless prey.

"Iie, he has underlings working for him... chotto matte! One of them is an expert at illusions!" Kagome glanced around nervously. So far Byakuya had not harmed them, but she wondered whether he was the one who had attacked Sesshoumaru.

"Naru hodo, then it would be pointless for us to keep moving on," Sesshoumaru sat down on the snow and thought hard of the possible ways that they could break through this illusion. Kagome chewed on her lower lip hard and squeezed her eyes shut as she dug through her memories, there had to be something that they could do instead of walking around in circles.

Her deep molten irises snapped open and she cried out, "Ah! I remembered! We need to break his concentration!"

Sesshoumaru was jolted out from his own train of thoughts, and arched one eyebrow doubtfully, "and how do you propose we should go about doing it?"

Kagome smiled, "I travel with a kitsune remember? He taught me a few tricks lest I got lost on my own from harmless illusions. Byakuya probably cannot hear what we say since I can't feel his presence at all... Let me try."

Sesshoumaru was wondering what she was going to try when he was almost knocked out by what followed next. Kagome screamed at the top of her voice, as loud as she could, and extended it as long as her breath could hold.

"RINNNNNNNNN! JAAAAKEEEEEEEN! AHHHHHHH-UNNNNNNN!"

He instantly clapped his hand over his right ear but it did not help; he did not have his left arm to cover the other exposed ear-drum. "DAMARU!"

Kagome stopped and glanced to the taiyoukai nervously, her hands still cupped around her mouth. _I must have made a fool of myself again_, she sighed inwardly and dropped her hands when the corners of his mouth twitched.

"This is not going to break his concentration. Please do not make me a laughing stock"

"NANI! You arrogant son of a bastard! Why don't you try then!" Kagome fumed and crossed her arms angrily.

He let out a breath through his nostrils, suspecting that she was no longer ill if she could scream like that. Without a word, he commanded a string of bright green youki to his fingers and flung the whip across his front, effectively slicing trees and rocks into pieces and creating small snow avalanches. When the whip was retrieved, Kagome gave a strangled yelp and ducked to her side, the sizzling whip had _almost_ touched her hair.

"You BAKA! I was almost hurt!"

"Hn, I am blind for now you know," his retort was instantaneous.

Kagome thought that she would go blind from her anger too. She had never expected this side of Sesshoumaru, to make such sarcastic and taunting remarks to her. He was worse than Inuyasha. The hanyou merely quarreled with her mindlessly, but with Sesshoumaru, Kagome had to think harder and be more careful lest he use her own words to turn the tables on her.

"Then think before you react!" Kagome jabbed her hands to her waist and shouted.

He arched his eyebrow and replied coolly, "I have at least created some damage, as compared to your useless shouting, to which neither Rin nor Jaken, or Ah-Un heard us."

Kagome thought that she was positively blind now, she could see nothing other than fires burning in her eyes. "You are behaving like a spoilt brat! Destroying everything and anything that lies in your way!"

Sesshoumaru flicked his hair gracefully behind his shoulder and replied nonchalantly, "and you are behaving like a pathetic flustered prey."

She wanted nothing more than to pull his big pointy ears, and she did.

Kagome leaned forward and with speed that he did not expect, she grabbed hold of his left earlobe and using all her strength, she tugged his ear down hard. A look of scowl possibly appeared on his face but it had disappeared too fast for Kagome to be sure and the next second, he had flicked his middle finger against her forehead hard, causing her to fall back, with her butt deep in the thick icy snow.

"Itai!" Kagome slapped her right palm against her forehead and scowled. Sesshoumaru caressed his bruised ear-lobe gingerly and glared as best as he could at her. Kagome flinched a bit at his charred eyes and the sharp edges of his sparkling white canine teeth. A sudden idea popped into her head when she was rubbing her bruised and painful forehead gently.

"I got it!" Kagome scrambled to her feet with some difficulty and tucked her hair behind her ears, as she tried to look for a long heavy twig. Sesshoumaru was feeling pissed and irritated, yet at the same time amused by her outburst of fiery temper. That was another side of her that he had witnessed today, albeit not so likable.

"Are you going to scream again?" he bit back the urge to laugh.

Kagome glared at him annoyingly and thrust the long thin branch into his hands, "urusai! Hold this, and when I give the signal, throw this high up into the air."

He arched his eyebrows up, wondering what sort of useless tricks she had up her sleeve again. But he obeyed nevertheless, not wanting to annoy her and getting a little exasperated at their situation. Kagome waited for a while, and when she was sure that he was not going to use the twig to hit her, she wrapped her right hand over the other end and concentrated.

A pink glow emananted from her right palm and began to travel down the twig. When Kagome was sure that she had channeled enough of her ki to the branch, she opened her eyes and shouted, "now!"

Sesshoumaru was snapped out from his trance but he had responded a tad too late. The glow touched his hand and he could feel a slight burning sensation against his palm and fingers. He dropped the twig instantly to which the pink glow vanished into the white snow and took a big step back.

"You are a miko," he frowned as he knelt and pressed his palm onto the snow to soothe the burn. Kagome widened her eyes at his wary tone and realized that he had forgotten about this too.

"Ah gomen ne! Demo I was not trying to hurt you, I just wanted to try another method to see if it will work..." Kagome tried to explain and laughed nervously, hoping that Sesshoumaru would not slice her into two pieces with his youki-whip. It was really awful and lonely to die in such a cold lifeless place, she thought to herself.

The taiyoukai pursed his lips a little, he could not sense deceit in her words and surmised that if she had wanted to hurt him, she would have done so in the beginning. _Besides, she is too frank and innocent..._ He got to his feet and stretched out his hand, "mooichido."

Kagome smiled, and thought that their relationship was less of enemies, and more of friends now. "Hai, be careful!" she handed another long twig to him and repeated her action, silently hoping that this would work. If not, she had no idea whether they would starve or freeze to death first.

"Now!"

Sesshoumaru hurled the twig as high as he could above his head and Kagome squinted her eyes, watching the bright pink twig swooshing up to the white-gray skies.

"Mieta!" Kagome could see soft ripple-like waves from the spot where the twig had touched, as if they were trapped under a big round dome. "Sesshoumaru! I can see it, it's like a big invisible bell-jar over us. We'll have to see how wide it stretches!"

The couple threw several more twigs and found that the edge of the dome was actually marked by a low shrub in front of them. Kagome could not believe that it was right under their nose and they could see nothing. _Byakuya is really an illusionist expert..._

"Asoko," Kagome wrapped her cold hand over his big one and pulled him to where the shrub was. She knelt beside his right and lugging the heaviest branch that she could handle, she drove the end of it into the shrub and closed her eyes, focusing as hard as she could. Sesshoumaru could feel waves of her purifying energy ebbing out from her and winced a little, he had not known that she had possessed such strong purifying spiritual strength. He was sure that if she was properly trained, she would be a formidable enemy to tackle with, and mentally reassured himself that she was his... _"ally."_

Then he felt it, an opening, as if the silence was sucked out through it. Faint noises, sounds and scents began to seep into his ears and nose; and he smirked. "Kagome, continue. We are getting through soon."

She could only nod her head and pushed the branch as hard as she could against the resistance that she felt at the end of it. But it was strong, and she could feel it pushing back at her. "Dame yo... it's pushing me back.." she tried to speak between her breathless pants, knowing that her energy would soon be drained off. The next instant, she found herself crushed against his body and her hand wrapped in his clawed one tightly.

"Yame-" her eyes flew open in shock and she wanted to stop him before his palm got burnt by her purifying ki. But before she could finish her sentence, Sesshoumaru cut her off quickly, "damaru. Concentrate before I lose my _only_ arm."

Kagome nodded and with whatever strength she had left, she channeled the rest of her ki to the branch and Sesshoumaru pushed as hard as he could, gritting his teeth from the pain, again hoping that she would be able to command as much of her spiritual ki as she could. With a final push from both, the branch slipped from their hands through the shrub and Kagome could see gigantic concentric translucent ripples first appearing, then dissipating into nothingness. It was not long before a huge mountain came into her shaky-view and a blast of cold air greeted their perspiring faces.

"Yatta!" Kagome turned her face excitedly to Sesshoumaru, who had also happened to turn his face at the same time to her. Their noses brushed against each other and both pairs of eyes widened in shock when their lips touched. Kagome blushed hard as she stared straight at the maroon stripes that adorned his cheek, her exhausted mind slowly registering that their lips were in contact, and that he had no made no move to slice open her throat.

Sesshoumaru in the meanwhile, thought that he had never felt softer and warmer lips before. He could feel the trembling pulse from her cold lips and her fresh-sweet scent made him a little more light-headed than he would care to admit. When she did not move, he relaxed his grip over her hand and pulled her shoulders to his chest a little. Kagome could not believe what was happening and parted her lips in utter shock, pushing her hand against his chest a little. But Sesshoumaru merely let out a soft growl and enveloped her bottom lip in his, reveling in the softness of it, _like the petals of a flower..._

He could smell and feel her warm breath, and it was deliciously soothing as he closed his eyes. Kagome's mind reeled from shock to surprise, then to horror as she realized that Sesshoumaru was sucking sensually on her bottom lip. Her heart was beating so hard that it drowned out the chirping of birds in her ears. Her legs went weak at her knees and it was as if there were a thousand butterflies swarming around in her belly. _He isn't kissing me, is he?_

He closed his eyes as he traced his tongue over her lower lip, the sensation was simply intoxicating and he doubted that he ever had such an experience in his memory. He tilted his face to gain more access to his mouth and pulled her closer, wanting to taste more of her lips. Kagome squeezed her eyes shut and froze, not knowing whether her futile struggle would end her life there and then, and at the same time wondering whether he had gone mad. Sesshoumaru could sense her going rigid and laughed out softly, it was obvious to him that she had no such experience in this area and this somehow endeared her to him. Upon the sound of his laughter, her eyes flew open in disbelief and he promptly moved his lips to her cold flushed cheek, giving it a light peck before releasing her from his tight hold.

She slumped onto the snow stupefied, not sure whether what had happened was a dream or another illusion. Sesshoumaru could not help but to smile, and asked again, "are you sure we are only allies?"

"Shiranai..." A thousand and one thoughts raced through her mind as she stared at his smile. It was oddly appealing. And her bottom lip tingled as never before.

His smile widened as he helped her up to her feet, "iku, before the sun sets."

* * *

A/N: Im not obesessed with his silver hair, its just something that I have too. Heh. I would also like to think of his current little attraction to Kagome as ... primal. I would also like to mention my thanks and heartfelt gratitude to Rainstorm & LtSonya. They are possibly the most delightful readers an author can get. )

miko - priestess  
katana - sword  
omoshiroi - interesting  
sumimasen - sorry  
nani - what  
doshiyoo - what should I do?  
chotto matte - wait for a while!  
naru hodo - I see  
damaru - be silent  
baka - idiot  
itai - pain (it hurts)  
urusai - annoying/noisy (indirectly telling you to shut up)  
demo - but  
mooichido - again  
mieta - found it!  
asoko - over there  
dame yo - it's no good!  
yame - stop  
yatta - yay! ( I did it)  
shiranai - I don't know  
iku - let's go.


	11. Chapter 11

**Not Acquaintances.

* * *

**

**_"How did we get together? Hmmm... I have no idea."_**

- Anonymous quote.

* * *

Byakuya frowned as Kagome and Sesshoumaru broke through one of his well-weaved illusion. He had never expected that the miko would come up with such an idea and that she had such strong purifying ki; her raw spiritual strength was almost on par with the undead Kikyou. Worse still, the taiyoukai had lent her a hand despite the fact that he was injured, and even risked the possibilities of sustaining more injuries and the existence of his only right arm. Their relationship was sudden and puzzling, yet he was not alarmed. Oddities and miracles happen, this was merely another one of them at work.

"What a scene," he could not help but to sulk at the dismay of his unsuccessful illusion. He did not have the intentions of killing them but merely wanted to see how far he could push them. To witness such an intimate scene between the taiyoukai and the miko was at least rewarding for his never-ending curiousity. He glanced at Kanna, who was holding her mirror tightly and not saying a word.

"Kanna?" Byakuya cocked his head to one side and wondered what was going on in her imperceptible mind. He could not help but to feel that she was so alike to Naraku in that respect. But the nihility youkai did not respond and merely walked away, having seen enough to rest her suspicions and fears. The seer had been right, and Naraku had not been able to eliminate Sesshoumaru as he had thought so. She let out a silent breath of relief and decided that she would have to made adjustments to her plan. Now that Kagome was with Sesshoumaru, everything seemed a little easier, yet a little more complicated too.

"Shall we let Naraku know about this?" the illusionist youkai was dying to get a word out from her.

Kanna stopped in her silent tracks and fingered the rim of her mirror, she would have to find out more and in the meanwhile, it would be better to keep Naraku in the dark regarding the taiyoukai's survival as long as possible. She finally replied tonelessly, "what he wants now is Inuyasha." Byakuya sighed inwardly at her answer and trudged on through the snow, "aa."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you really not remember anything at all?"

Sesshoumaru widened his eyes at her question, she had been so silent for so long on his back that he thought that she had gone mute after the kiss. He had been worried but the tone of her question unnerved him a little. It was as if there was something that she was hiding from him in regards to their relationship, like unspoken enmity.

"I have some recollections of my memories, but they are not clear. I remember a man, a hanyou, and a little ningen girl. I believe she is Rin?" he answered her honestly.

Kagome bit on her lower lip, "hai, I think so. Demo... anything about yourself?"

He closed his eyes and dug his boot into the snow, "hmm, here and there. I seem to remember that I lost my left arm, and that I'm a youkai. A powerful one I assume."

She could not help and smiled silently at his arrogance, but frowned when the next question popped into her mind. "What about your skills?" she narrowed her eyes warily, not sure whether Sesshoumaru was leading her around in a game.

He paused for a while and thought hard. He did not know how he had managed to do all of those things that he had did. It came as natural to him as flexing his fingers, or wriggling his toes.

"Wakaranai, it's innate I think. Datte... I can't seem to command the youki-cloud to my will as easily."

"Sou ka..." she mumbled to herself, wondering how much of his past he had recalled exactly. She was afraid, nervous, confused, yet excited at the same time. The last emotion troubled her, she could not really figure out what she was excited about. _Perhaps it's the..._

Kagome blushed hard at that unfinished thought and instantly felt that it was not right for her to be on his back nor thinking about such treacherous thoughts. He was not Inuyasha, even though he was his elder brother and he had lost his memory. She felt as if she was taking advantage of the situation and that he would probably feel so disgusted at himself if he ever knew that he had carried a human on his back. Shudders crawled up her back at the next thought of her impending death when he would regain his memory one day.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!"

Rin and Ah-Un had kindly saved her day. She could see Rin on the draconic beast speeding down towards them and thanked Kami that she could finally get off his back.

* * *

Sango knelt before the tombs of her village and placed white daisies and chrysanthemums, while Kirara followed her around. Miroku stood silently at the back until Sango reached her father's tomb. He could see her trembling back and hands as she laid the flowers respectfully before it. Kirara mewled and rubbed her nose against Sango affectionately.

"Sango," Miroku went forward and laid his hand on her shoulder, not knowing what to say to comfort her. Three years had passed and he knew that Sango still blamed herself for what had happened.

Sango bent her head as tears coursed down her face, "I hate him."

Miroku knelt down beside her and closed his eyes, "I know."

She sniffled and stared at the tablet, recalling the vow that she had taken before it three years ago. "Chichi-ue, I will avenge for us, and retrieve Kohaku. I promise."

"And I will help her," Miroku clapped his hands together and bowed, "please give us your blessings."

"Houshi-sama..." Sango turned and looked at the man that held her heart, eyes brimming with tears.

Miroku shifted his position and looked into Sango's deep brown eyes, knowing that he could give her ithis/i promise, "Sango, I will go wherever you go."

The tears clouded her vision, but she decided to let go of her usual restraint and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, "Miroku!"

The monk smiled at the rare embrace and in return wrapped his arms around the woman that he was willing to die for, "Sango..."

His hand was itching to squeeze her firm butt, but decided against it when he saw her Hiraikotsu lying near them. Instead, he buried his fingers into her snow-laced hair and rested his cheek against her head. He could feel her warm soft chest pressing against him and that was enough.

* * *

_Thank Kami that Rin has good eyesight..._ Kagome thought to herself absentmindedly as Ah-Un landed at the entrance of the cave. It took them just a short while to return back to their hideout while Rin bombarded both of them ceaselessly with her questions, to which none of it were answered. Sesshoumaru dismounted from Ah-Un gracefully and stretched his hand out. Kagome was not sure whether she should take it when Rin thrust her hand into his, with a big smile plastered on her grimy face.

_I will need to give her a wash..._ Kagome thought to herself again as she led Sesshoumaru to the inner cavern, noticing that Jaken had fainted on the ground with tears on his face, _probably overwhelmed with joy that he's not dead..._

"Kagome-neesan! Are you hungry?" Rin pulled out a familiar chocolate bar from the lapels of her thin yukata and smiled at Kagome, to which the miko was not sure whether to be happy that she had started to talk, or to be wary that she was growing up to become a thief.

"Iie, you go ahead and eat first. I need to tend to Sesshoumaru first," Kagome decided that she would have a talk with the little Rin soon before her strayward hands get her into further trouble. _Not that anyone will dare to do anything to her..._ She sighed softly to herself and pinched her nose-bridge. Things were whirling by so fast that she had hardly gotten the time to sit down and properly sort through the plethora of thoughts in her mind.

_And now, it's even messier than ever_, she glanced a peep at the taiyoukai who was sitting down and leaning his back against the wall of the cave, staring into the space quietly. She lit a candle and pulled out the stuff that she would need to change his dressing. Now that Sesshoumaru was conscious, Kagome felt even more embarrassed to go near him, not to mention touching him. The memories of their kiss, the feel of his masculine lips; and the sensations that accompanied it hung at the back of her mind.

"Ano... I need to change your dressing, and it might hurt," her voice came out a little squeaky and strangled and she coughed hard, not wanting to ridicule herself further. "Please take off your top."

Sesshoumaru sensed her anxiety and embarrassment, but could do nothing to relieve her from it. He had expected her to lash out at him for the kiss, but not this. Kagome was being exceptionally quiet and cautious, not speaking other than it was necessary. Questions pertaining to their relationship were swirling around his mind and he knew that he would have to clarify with her.

"How do I take this off? It's unlike anything that I can remember of," he spoke as he fumbled with the buttons.

"Ah!" Kagome quickly knelt down in front of him and helped him with the buttons, "gomen nasai, this is actually my otouto's shirt. Yours was... beyond wearable condition and I had to get another for you. I hope this is alright with you."

His lips straightened at the formality she held with him. She was too polite, and distanced. Nothing like the Kagome he had known two nights ago. He nodded his head once and she slipped the shirt off him carefully, not understanding why she herself was so tense either. While Kagome was cleaning up and tending to his wounds, Sesshoumaru noticed that the whole cavern was covered in her sweet natural scent. He was wondering to himself whether that would attract any undesired visitors when he heard the snipping sound of her scissors.

"It's done, please lie down so that I can treat your eyes," she guided him to his furry pelt and while she was cleaning the pus away from his eyes, Sesshoumaru could not help but to wince. The fiery pain had subsided considerably but he could feel the pluck of his raw skin everytime her tissue got stuck to it.

"Gomen ne! I will be more careful..." Kagome apologized and narrowed her eyes in concentration, inwardly cursing herself for her clumsiness.

"Daijoubu," he let out a slight pained smile at her as he slowly snaked his hand over to the tendrils of her hair that were lying on his abdomen. The tending miko's lips parted a little at his reassurance, before a small smile appeared on her worn-out face, "arigatou."

"For?"

"For... helping me just now," she squeezed the herb-paste over his eyes slowly.

Sesshoumaru wondered how Kagome looked as he twirled a lock of her raven hair between his fingers, it was so cold, soft and smooth. "We are allies, isn't it so?"

She froze at his words, not knowing how to reply him.

"Kagome?" Sesshoumaru felt her hands stop and he turned his face a little to her.

"Sesshoumaru, what happened just now was purely an accident," Kagome resumed her task of wrapping the gauze around his head as she said out the words firmly.

His heart dipped a little at her words, but his face revealed none of that. There were too many things in his mind that needed to be solved and settled, but this new addition was the one he had sought out to tackle first. He was dubious to their previous relationship as allies but he knew that he could not rush her.

"You are not telling me the whole truth. Were we really allies, or something.. else?"

Kagome widened her eyes, she could not tell him the whole truth now. _Maybe later, but not now..._ She was too confused with everything and her mind could not exactly handle the things that had happened between them. "We.. were not really allies... but our enemy is the same. Inuyasha and you are not exactly on_ very_ good terms..."

_Inuyasha..._ Sesshoumaru felt a stab of pain through his head as he tried to recall the images that were attached to this name.  
"You mentioned that he is my otouto?"

Kagome tied a firm knot around his head and nodded her head, "ee. Half-brother."

He thought he could see a hazy image of someone clad in red in his mind before it vanished, he would ask about Inuyasha and the red haori later. "I see. What about us?"

She almost choked on his words, but regained her composure fast and scrambled away to clear up her stuff. "We... are acquaintances, you might say."

"Acquaintances?" Sesshoumaru was puzzled and confused. Acquaintances did not take care of one another like the way she had. He knew that he could have died from such serious injuries on his body.

"Um... we seldom talked," Kagome thought of the time that they had sparred verbally in Inu no Taisho's grave over Tessaiga.

"I see," the tension in her answer did not go unnoticed, and Sesshoumaru wondered what exactly the nature of their relationship was. "Were we friendly?"

Kagome thought hard and long as she proceeded to boil the herbs, "you saved me once, and Inuyasha."

Sesshoumaru frowned a little, her answers sounded a tad forced, and he surmised that their relationship was not friendly at all. In addition, she mentioned his half-brother's name ever so often, to his unexplained dismay.

"You are close to Inuyasha."

Her jaw slacked at his sudden remark, and it took a long while before she answered softly, "you can say so."

His next question came out equally fast, "friends? Or lovers?"

Kagome felt as if she was being interrogated and frowned a little, "is it important?"

He quirked his right eyebrow up, she had unconsciously given her answer away with her question. "I am merely curious, since you mention his name so often."

She brought two fingers up and massaged her temples, Sesshoumaru was wriggling information out from her cleverly but yet she did not know how to advert it. "Inuyasha... is bound to someone else, I am merely his good friend."

Sesshoumaru thought that he had never heard a lousier liar before, but he chose to go along with her, "I see. Are we friends now, then?"

Kagome raised both eyebrows as she handed the bowl of cooled herbs to him, quite unable to restrain the smile on her face, "I should think so. Drink this, it helps to purge the poison out from your body."

Sesshoumaru nodded once and downed the whole contents into his mouth, scrunching his nose as he used the back of his hand to wipe his mouth, "hidoi!"

Kagome giggled, "I have already added sugar, you know."

"You should add more," he replied instaneously.

"I didn't know that you have a sweet tooth," she giggled again.

He was glad and relieved at her relaxed giggle, but was surprised at the same time, "how did you know that it was bitter?"

Kagome could not answer in time and his next question caught her off-guard. "How did I drink this when I was unconscious then?"

She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks again as she mumbled to herself and took the bowl from him, "I've got my own ways..."

Sesshoumaru smiled and did not pursue the matter anymore. He knew that it would not be too difficult for their previous strained relationship to change to a better one. But safety was the first priority in his mind as he heard heavy slapping footsteps running to him, coupled with heavy breathing.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! I am so happy to see you well and alive!" Jaken knelt before his lord while Rin ran around the taiyoukai in circles laughing merrily, "Sesshoumaru-sama! Sesshoumaru-sama!"

His eyebrows furrowed into a slight frown at the noise they made, and he guessed that the female was Rin while the squawky voice belonged to Jaken, "damaru."

All three froze at his command, not daring to open their mouths.

"Rin, come here."

"Hai," Rin obeyed solemnly and crawled to his front with a serious look on her face.

Sesshoumaru knew that he had wanted to do this in his dreams, and placed his right hand over her head, patting it awkwardly. Kagome was shocked; Jaken was appalled. Both came to the conclusion that Sesshoumaru had indeed lost his memory and screws.

Rin froze at his tender action, it was the first time that her lord had made physical contact with her, other than the times he had saved her. Her eyes widened with shining adoration as a big toothy smile appeared on her childish face, "Sesshoumaru-sama!"

Sesshoumaru retracted his hand and nodded his head in a lordly way, "be good."

Jaken's eyes almost popped out as his mouth gaped open, his lord was not behaving like himself at all. The first thought that came to his mind was that Kagome had done something to him.

"Wretched ningen! What have you done to Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken barked at Kagome.

Kagome frowned and glared at the kappa-youkai, "baka! What can I do to him! He lost his memory, that's all!"

Rin turned her head around and peered curiously, "honto ni?"

Kagome nodded her head while Jaken continued, "you must have put something into the herbs! I knew that you would not be so nice to us!"

"How dare you accuse me you disgusting toad!" Kagome was tempted to smash her fist onto his slimy head when Sesshoumaru intervened.

"Jaken," his low voice held that edge of danger to it.

"Hai Sesshoumaru-sama! Jaken is here!" the kappa-youkai answered fervently and waved his hands.

Sesshoumaru could not help but to feel insulted and annoyed, "does it matter whether I have lost my memory? Or do you intend to switch masters?"

"Iya Sesshoumaru-sama! Gomen nasai! I do not mean this!" Jaken dropped Nintoujou and bowed to the ground, not daring to move his forehead away from the ground. Rin's smile was wiped off her face as she looked at Jaken's profuse apologies.

"Kagome," Sesshoumaru continued in his lordly tone, which unnerved Kagome a little. His tone reminded her of the old Sesshoumaru. The one who would kill without thinking.

"Hai."

"I know that you are not under my protection before, as you have pointed out to me. But things have changed, now that you are with us, you shall listen to me."

Kagome glared at the taiyoukai, it was more that he needed her to take care of his wounds but he had made it sound like she was their burden. She bit her tongue in order to restrain her temper, knowing that he would not like it if she retorted back in front of his retainer and ward. _Still as arrogant as before, jerk!_

Sesshoumaru smirked inwardly at her silence, he could feel her glares on him, and wondered how anyone could interest him to such an extent. "We shall leave rightaway."

Kagome raised both her eyebrows in shock at his command, _where would we go? _Demo-"

"Naraku has discovered our hideout, unless you want the morning incident to repeat itself again, do not argue."

Kagome was rendered speechless and her cheeks tinged red from his double-meaning words, inwardly lamenting to herself the umpteenth time what exactly she had gotten herself into.

* * *

A/N: I really like Miroku. )

hanyou - half-demon  
ningen - human  
demo - but  
shiranai - I don't know  
wakaranai - I don't understand  
chichi-ue - respectful way of addressing one's own father  
houshi - buddhist monk  
Kami - God  
-nee-san/ - onee-san - elder sister  
iie - no  
datte - even so/though/but  
ano - excuse me/erm  
gomen nasai - sorry (formal)  
otouto - younger brother  
daijoubu - it's alright/ok  
arigatou - thank you (casual)  
Inu no Taisho - General of Dogs (this term is used by Myouga and Toutousai to address Inuyasha's and Sesshoumaru's father)  
hidoi - bitter/terrible  
damaru - be silent  
honto ni - really?  
iya - no/nope (masculine)


	12. Chapter 12

**Winter fireflies.

* * *

**

**_"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."_**

**- Albert Einstein.

* * *

Naraku frowned a little at their report, it seemed to him that Inuyasha was hiding from him, and this was not the inu-hanyou's usual way. He did not feel good about it, as if there was something unidentifiable stirring at his soul, plucking at the strings of worry.**

Kanna stared at Naraku, her lifeless vacant eyes focusing on the small frown on his smooth forehead. She knew that paranoia was getting to him, so was his fear. Her plan seemed to be working out on its own slowly, and she was glad that Byakuya had not mentioned Sesshoumaru to him.

"Kanna, Byakuya, locate Inuyasha and his group," Naraku gave his order and disappeared from the room, leaving his detachments behind. The illusionist youkai sighed out loud at the next order and folded his arms, "Kanna, why did we not tell him?"

A long pause of silence followed as the nihility youkai calculated her risks and decided to take her next daring move. "Will it do you any good? Now is not the time."

Byakuya's eyebrows shot up in surprise at her reply, it was the first time Kanna had properly answered him, and she seemed to be hinting to him at the same time.

"Kanna, what are you thinking of-" he was promptly silenced when he stared at his own image in her outstretched mirror, his black eyes wide in fear. Kanna knew that he could not lie nor move when his reflection was captured in her mirror and asked him softly, "Byakuya. You should know what I am thinking of. Are you on my side, or his?"

Byakuya parted his lips at her declaration of war against Naraku. It had never crossed his mind that Kanna would betray Naraku, no, it was the last thing that he would ever think of. But now that she was asking whose side he was on, he realized that Kanna could suck his soul away into eternal darkness if she wanted to, not that he wanted to continue to be an underdog for Naraku.

He tried to move his limbs but to his horror, he found that he was simply frozen to the spot, as if time and space had stopped only for him. He could not shift his glance away and pleaded, "Kanna! Don't do this to me!"

"Answer me," Kanna ignored his frightened pleas and stared at his perspiring face.

"Mochiron! What makes you think that I want to live a life like that? I want my freedom too!" Byakuya answered nervously as he tried to shut his eyes to no avail.

_He's just like Kagura..._ The nihility youkai smiled at his words, and spun her mirror clockwise, then anti-clockwise. Byakuya was stunned at what she was doing and before he knew it, he felt a small part of him detaching itself and seeping out from the core of his body. He then realized that a wispy thin strand of soft yellow substance was floating out from his left chest, coating itself around the silver rim of her mirror and vanishing into it. _"Tamashi!"_

"Kanna! Nani o suru!" Byakuya felt himself going weak at his knees and plopped down to the wooden floor, pressing his hand against his beating heart, not understanding what had Kanna done with his soul.

"A small part of your soul is with me, in this mirror. If you ever betray me, or go against me, then you shall never get it back. Only I can release your soul back to you," Kanna whispered tonelessly as she knelt down before Byakuya. He looked back fearfully at her, and realized that she was no different from Naraku.

A small sense of guilt pooled in her heart, but Kanna knew that she had to do it for her plan to work. Byakuya was a powerful and intelligent illusion-weaver and she knew that she would not be able to defeat him if Naraku had ordered for her death.

"Do not worry, I will not kill you. We need to work together," she laid her mirror on her lap and bowed her head slightly.

Byakuya was stumped and shook his head, "he will discover it, sooner or later."

She narrowed her soulless eyes and spoke in the usual hushed tone, "then we will have to get rid of him before he knows."

He thought that she was mad and simply stared at her expressionless face, "how?"

"I have a plan, just follow me," Kanna got up to her feet and left the stunned youkai in the room, smiling to herself inwardly.

* * *

Sesshoumaru retrieved his youki whip and grabbed hold of the dead wild hare by its ears. Rin clapped her hands and squealed in delight, "Sugoi Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken stood proudly as he aimed Nintoujou and released a big burst of fire at the dry twigs that Kagome had gathered, "mochiron! Even without his eyes, Sesshoumaru-sama is not someone to be trifled with!"

The taiyoukai flung the dead hare carelessly across to the fire which was draped accurately over Jaken's head, "urusai. Roast it."

Rin was oblivious to what had happened and tried to skip and follow Sesshoumaru, even though she was dragging the wintercoat that Kagome gave her across the snow and her sandals kept burying themselves into the snow, "Sesshoumaru-sama! There are no flowers around!" But the taiyoukai simply ignored her and continued to make his way to the campsite.

Kagome could not help but to giggle to herself softly, there were still several certain old traits in Sesshoumaru that did not go away with his memory. "Must be innate..." she mumbled to herself as she added another small load of twigs to the fire. She rummaged through her bag and brought out her portable kettle and the teabags. Soon, they had finished their light meal and were sipping hot ocha, in the middle of nowhere.

Kagome looked up from her ocha and could see the clear black sky through the wire-like thin branches. There were not many stars, and each of them shone brightly as they hung off the branches, like silver ornaments which reminded her of Christmas trees and the colourful dazzling decorations that hung on the streets of Toyko and shopping malls. _It's coming soon..._ Kagome thought of the year-end festival and wondered what kind of delicious dishes her mother would prepare for the family. She thought that she could almost smell the mouth-watering aroma of oden and hear the noisy music that Souta always played on the hi-fi.

"Kagome-neesan! What is that?" Rin pointed to the book the was lying on her big yellow bag while huddled inside the warm wintercoat.

Kagome tore her gaze away from the beautiful stars and heart-warming thoughts to Rin's short bony finger.

"Ah! That is my book, I brought it along in case I got bored..." Kagome stole a peek and noticed that Sesshoumaru's ears did not twitch, unlike Inuyasha. He remained stoically silent through the whole meal and she wondered whether that was how they had traveled last time.

"Book?" The little one cocked her head to one side, having not seen a book before. But then again, Kagome carried many peculiar stuff around her, including some dark brown edible sweet snacks that she could not get enough of it.

"Hai! A story book that my friends bought for me," Kagome could not help but to feel homesick, even though she was technically still in Japan. Her friends' incessant babbling about her mysterious relationship with Inuyasha was suddenly a very welcoming thought to the miko as she stared at the steam that swirled out from her cup of ocha.

"Kagome-neesan, can you read it to Rin?"

She could not resist her big black eyes peering curiously at the best-seller fiction book and decided to give up the thoughts of her good friends, "okay, but it is a long book. So you must promise me that you will go to sleep when I stop ne?" Rin nodded her head happily while Jaken let out a squawky snort.

"Ja... This book is about a timid young lady who makes hats for a living. One day, she decided to visit her sister who works in another part of the town. On her way to visit her sister, she got lost and met some unruly soldiers who started to tease her. A young dashing young man suddenly appeared by her side and-"

"Is he as handsome and strong as Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin asked innocently.

Kagome almost choked on her saliva while Sesshoumaru raised one of his eyebrows slightly in surprise.

"Erm, hai. He is as handsome and strong as Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome noticed the big smile on Rin's face who decided to prop her chin on her small palms. And that she looked especially small and fragile in her old wintercoat which was two sizes too large for her tiny frame.

"He rescued the young lady from the soldiers in no time, but the young lady soon realized-"

"Is the onna pretty? Like Kagome-neesan?" Rin interrupted her a second time. Kagome's appreciative smile was wiped off when she saw Sesshoumaru arching the other eyebrow. She could not decide whether to feel insulted or to throw snow at him when Rin asked again.

"Ne Kagome-neesan. Is she? As pretty as you?"

"As pretty as you Rin," Kagome turned her glare away from the taiyoukai and smiled at Rin, who blushed hard as her smile grew wider.

"The young lady realized that there were funny people, like slime," Kagome gave a meaning glance at the kappa-youkai who had apparently dozed off to sleep and continued, "who were following them. These slime-people started to surround them and the young lady was very frightened, not sure what kind of mess she had gotten herself into. Then suddenly, the young man took hold of her arms and flew to the air, escaping away from their pursuers."

Rin's mouth was slack apart as she rested her cheek against one palm, listening intently to the story that Kagome was telling.

"The young lady then realized that he was no ordinary person but was too scared to ask questions as he glided through mid-air with her. The young man apologized to her and explained that the slime-people were after him. When he dropped her off at the balcony of her sister's shop, he disappeared in an instant and the young lady could not find him anymore."

"He can fly! Like Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin spoke excitedly, to which Kagome laughed nervously and confirmed her suspicions that Rin indeed used Sesshoumaru as a benchmark for everything.

"Ano... he is not a youkai, but a wizard. One who does magic."

Rin nodded her head disappointedly and folded her arms, resting them on her kneecaps. "Kagome-neesan, what happened then?"

"Aa, the young lady could not get him off her mind because she thought that he was the most gentlemanly and handsome man that she has ever met. But her sister told her that he was the young terrible wizard called Hauru who collects and eats young girls' hearts. Sophie, the young lady's name, did not believe it to be true and when she went back to her old hat shop, an old ugly lady came into the shop even though it was very late already. The old lady was actually a horrible old witch who was after Hauru, and she made fun of Sophie's cheap hats. Sophie was angry and decided to not sell her any hats. The old witch was angry and cursed Sophie, turning her into a ninety year old obaa-san. And Sophie could not say a single thing about the curse, and she did not know what the old witch wanted to kill Hauru."

Rin's eyes were wide with fear and anticipation. She had never heard a story that was more interesting and riveting than the one Kagome was telling her. Kagome smiled and noticed that Sesshoumaru had finished his ocha, his empty cup beside him.

"Dakara, Sophie naturally could not stay in her hat shop anymore and slipped out quietly the next morning. She did not know what to do and was angry at the witch who had transformed her into an old woman. It was not comfortable nor easy for her and she took a day to walk out from her town. She continued to walk aimlessly, not understanding why the witch had cursed her. Then, she saw this old black weird looking castle that was balanced on four skinny legs.

It was very cold that day, and Sophie decided to go into that strange-looking castle for a while to hide from the winds. When she got inside, the castle was empty and she could see no one. Sophie decided to sit on a chair that was placed opposite a fireplace and before she fell asleep, she thought that she saw a face appearing in the small fire."

"Youkai!" Rin squealed and sat up straight, excitement and familiarity was written all over her face and bright shining eyes. Sesshoumaru tilted his chin a little and thought that the story was finally progressing to the interesting bit.

Kagome smiled and nodded her head, "hai, it was a fire-youkai. A small one, that was bound to the fireplace. But Sophie did not know and when she woke up the next day, a young boy was staring at her face, asking why she was in the castle. Sophie was embarrassed and shocked, and the boy turned to the fireplace and talked to it angrily. When a nasty blue face appeared in the fire, Sophie thought that she had gone mad, before she realized that she was in a wizard's castle-"

"Hauru's castle!" Rin clapped her hands happily. Kagome sighed inwardly that Rin had found out faster than she could give her a surprise, and mentally remarked to herself that she was rather clever and observant too.

"Ee, it was his castle. The fire-youkai was bound to the fireplace by Hauru, and he pleaded with Sophie to break the contract between them. Sophie agreed and made a deal with the fire-youkai that he must transform Sophie back to her original form and age if she succeeds. Then the wizard, Hauru walked in but he did not recognize Sophie. Somehow, they started to live together, while Sophie takes care of his castle and cook for them-"

"Like how Kagome-neesan takes care of Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin smiled with her eyes shut.

Sesshoumaru made a weird noise at his throat instantly, "Rin, it is late. Go and sleep."

"Hai Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin obeyed without any objections while Kagome laid out her sleeping bag for her. This had been their usual routine for the past three days, except that Rin had asked for the story tonight. She zipped the sleeping bag up to the already sleeping Rin's neck and brushed her messy hair away from her face, whispering softly, "oyasumi Rin."

Kagome proceeded to clear up the cups and kettle and was amazed at the speed that Rin could fall asleep. She could not fathom the adoration that Rin had for Sesshoumaru, and her obedience to him was without a fault. Kagome glared at the taiyoukai from time to time when Sesshoumaru did not move and continued to sit regally like a king, wondering whether her role of being a caretaker included duties of servanthood too.

"Tsumaranai," Sesshoumaru adjusted his stiff position and rested his chin on his knuckles lazily. Kagome raised an eyebrow at his sudden change and wondered to herself whether Sesshoumaru only relaxed when the rest were asleep as she poured more hot water into her cup.

"Huh?"

"Your story, it was boring."

Kagome could not believe her ears, she was babysitting Rin for him and all that she got from him was this. She replied sarcastically and tucked the book into her backpack, "is it? I think you are more boring than my story."

He quirked his eyebrow up at her retort, "and how is that so?"

Kagome thought hard for a while, "you speak so little."

"And that makes me boring?"

"Isn't it so? Humans desire conversation you know."

"But I am not human," the tone of mockery was blatant.

Kagome was stumped, and decided to remain silent before she really threw snow on him. He was as irritating as Inuyasha, although in a different way. Inuyasha scolded and yelled at her senselessly, whilst Sesshoumaru taunted her endlessly. Kagome frowned and stared at the fire, inwardly cursing her luck to be stuck with these two brothers while she sipped her ocha. She thought that the way the fire licked around the twigs was oddly familiar, when it struck her mind that just a week ago, she had sat around the fire with her feudal friends sipping ocha too.

At the thought of Inuyasha, her heart lurched and her eyelids drooped. Everything was almost the same, except that Inuyasha was not with her. Kagome yearned to see Inuyasha, just to make sure that he was alright and that Kikyou had not taken him away to the Netherworld. The dream that she had did not return, but the feeling of unease remained behind.

She bit her lower lip and frowned a little, mentally chiding to herself that Inuyasha had already made his choice between Kikyou and her. The most sensible thing for her to do was to withdraw from the triangle, since she had already lost from the start. But it somehow seemed so difficult to do that, or perhaps it was her love for him that did not want to let go. Kagome drew her legs in and brought out the small glass bottle that hung around her neck, staring at the light pink crystal shards, _"it was you who brought me here, isn't it?"_

But the shards merely glinted sharply under the pale moonlight in reply to her. Kagome smiled bitterly and turned her eyes to the taiyoukai who was sitting silently opposite her. Even though the brothers shared physical similarities, Kagome could not figure out what Sesshoumaru was thinking or doing; in contrast to Inuyasha who was always predictable and transparent before her eyes. Sesshoumaru was like a thin veil of silk to her, almost understanding, almost knowing. But if she ever reached out to that veil, it will blow away out from her reach. Almost impossible.

Sesshoumaru wondered whether Kagome was fuming on the inside since she had remained defiantly silent. "Kagome, is that how you think of me?"

His question brought her out from her train of thoughts and Kagome scrunched her nose, "hai. You are utterly, thoroughly, completely boring, in and out. I have never met such a person, or youkai like you before."

"I see," Sesshoumaru was surprised at her words, he was not sure whether Kagome was trying to take a stab at him or merely being honest. Kagome thought that she might have gone overboard when Sesshoumaru did not speak and got up to his feet.

"Kagome, take a walk with me," Sesshoumaru flicked his long silver hair behind his shoulders and steadied Tenseiga and Toukijin on his hakama with his obi. Kagome thought that he looked better in his ivory silk haori instead of Souta's shirt, but decided to keep that remark to herself and got to her two feet obediently.

"Where are we going?" Kagome wrapped her arms around herself, wishing that she could bring the fire with her.

"Nowhere," Sesshoumaru turned around and walked away from the makeshift camp, trudging through the snow hurriedly yet effortlessly.

Kagome opened her mouth to retort that it was dangerous to leave Rin with Jaken and Ah-Un only but decided against it to save whatever energy that she had to keep her body warm.

Kagome tried to keep up with him, but it was simply torturous to walk through thick snow fast. After a good five minutes of silent walking, Sesshoumaru finally stopped and Kagome managed to catch up with him, sending small clouds of her warm breaths into the cold winter night.

"Where are we?" she asked breathlessly as she bent forward a little and took in big gulps of icy air.

"I can sense them," Sesshoumaru answered softly.

"Nani? Da re?" Kagome squeaked, not knowing why Sesshoumaru had brought her out to such a place. It was dark, and only faint shafts of the moonlight filtered through the heavy mesh of leafless thin branches above them. Kagome could only hope that Sesshoumaru was not out to get her killed by senseless youkai when he spoke again.

"Ssshh," he put a finger to his lips and remained absolutely silent and motionless.

The fear in her heart faded away when Kagome looked up to Sesshoumaru. He was standing still like a statue as he rested his forefinger against his thin lips. It was almost as if he was waiting, for something or someone to appear. She frowned, not understanding what he was up to when all she heard was their breathing.

Then, it appeared. A small faint light, flying slowly out from the darkness. Kagome clasped her left hand over her open mouth, "fireflies..."  
Sesshoumaru knew that she would be surprised and smiled. The pair waited for a short while, and soon they were surrounded by hundreds of fireflies, flying lazily around in the dark secluded area, giving off their soft yellow light.

"It can't be..." Kagome mumbled to herself, she had never ever seen a firefly in winter before.

"It is rare, but it happens," Sesshoumaru sat down on the snow, seeming to enjoy the presence of fireflies, though he could not see them. Kagome looked down at the taiyoukai for a while, before she followed suit and knelt beside him. It was the first time that she had ever seen winter fireflies, which was supposed to be a good sign. But she wondered to herself what good could come out of this rare phenomenon since she was sitting in the snow half-freezing with an equally cold taiyoukai.

"When you were telling the story to Rin, I suddenly remembered that I used to come out in winter night to search for fireflies when I was young."

"Whatever for?" Kagome was curious, as one firefly lingered in front of her before moving away.

"To count them," he replied happily.

"Count them? But isn't it difficult? They all look the same to me," Kagome squinted her eyes to see whether she could differentiate between the fireflies.

He laughed out softly, which seemed to attract more fireflies to him. The soft yellow light illuminated his fair skin a little and Kagome's eyes rounded, his laughter was soft, yet low and heart-warming at the same time.

"That is the interesting part. It is a skill you know, to be able to count fireflies."

Kagome was entranced by his relaxed smile, she would never forget the peaceful look he had on now, "are you trying to tell me that you are not a boring person?"

Sesshoumaru grinned, but continued, "I remember that I gave up after a short while. But my haha-ue would encourage me to persevere, until I found the way to count them one day."

"How?" "By catching them, one by one."

Kagome scrunched her nose again, "how cruel."

He smiled, "and that was the reason why, I never sought out fireflies anymore. Until tonight, when I remembered."

Her mouth gaped open at his words, it was unusual for him to show kindness. Somehow, it did not seem to go hand in hand with his image and status as a taiyoukai. Just at that moment, a firefly fluttered slowly to Sesshoumaru and rested on the tip of his nose, lending an etheral glow to his fair skin and sharp features. But he merely smiled and remained motionless until the firefly flew away.

Kagome felt as if her heart would melt at the sight before her. Sesshoumaru was reliving his childhood memory right in front of her, and it was obvious to her that he had a kind heart too, although it was lost somewhere when he grew up. And, he had chose to tell her, and showed her the winter fireflies.

"It has been a long time, since I have waited for the fireflies," he mused to himself.

"I will never forget this," Kagome said dreamily as her eyes tried to follow the little haphazard-flying light insects. She felt oddly grateful to Sesshoumaru, for letting her know about this precious bit of his past. Even though she could not count nor catch the fireflies for him.

Sesshoumaru leaned back a little and tilted his face up to the fireflies, "am I still a boring person?"

Kagome smiled, "hmmm... maybe."

* * *

A/N: The story that Kagome is telling is Howl's Moving Castle by Dianna Wynne Jones. I have changed the story a little to fit into my fic. (Hauru is Howl, I thought it will be more appropriate to follow the Japanese's translation of his name) I hope it isn't too boring for you, its one of my fav stories of all times. And yes, this story is not here without a reason. ;p

mochiron - of course  
tamashi - soul  
nani o suru - what are you doing? (not very polite)  
sugoi - wow!  
urusai - annoying/noisy  
ocha - green tea  
dakara - therefore  
ja - well/then  
onna - woman  
ano - excuse me/erm.  
aa/ee - yes/affirmative answer  
oyasumi - goodnight (casual)  
tsumaranai - boring  
nani - what  
da re - who  
haha-ue - respectful way of addressing one's own mother


	13. Chapter 13

**Chemistry.

* * *

**

**_"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."_**

**- Oscar Wilde.

* * *

**

"What else can you remember from your childhood?" Kagome blew on her hands in a feeble attempt to warm herself. The fireflies must have somehow decided that they were a boring duo and left them after a short while.

Sesshoumaru paused for a while as he thought hard, trying to dig into his chest of memories. Hazy images of various scenes of his childhood finally seem to flash past his eyes after a long period. He could see a young inu-youkai with shoulder-length silver hair hiding behind a small bush trying to ambush his mother. And another one of the same young youkai prancing around helplessly, trying to catch a rabbit. Then he saw himself again practising with his father, though he was much older and taller this time round. He did not know how, but he recognized his younger self and his parents instantly.

"I seem to remember my haha-ue. I spent a lot of time with her, alone," a pang of sadness suddenly rose from nowhere, and he closed his eyes, not wanting to think about them. He was sure that they were dead, and he did not want to spend too much of his time reminiscing over them. Afterall, nothing could bring the dead back to life.

Kagome nodded her head, he was regaining his memory fast, even though most of them seemed to be revolve around his youth. The ones that he could remember sounded a little sad and lonely to her, and she wondered what kind of childhood he had led. Was it happy? Was it sad? _They must be precious to him..._

"Ja... what about the rest of your family?"

He frowned a little, "I remember my chichi-ue too. Not very pleasant."

She nodded again, "sou ka... what about Inuyasha? And Tenseiga?"

"I don't have pleasant memories towards Inuyasha too. I only know that Tenseiga was a sword that chichi-ue left me."

Kagome sniffed, not certain whether she should continue with her next question.

"Ano... did you have a... girlfriend, before?"

"Girl.. friend?"

"Ah! Sumimasen, I meant.. lover," Kagome gulped, not sure whether she was probing too deep, though again she was not sure why she asked it.

Sesshoumaru frowned again, he seemed to remember an emotion, which was very similar to what he felt towards Kagome, but only ten times stronger. He concentrated, but try as he might, he just could not remember the woman's face, it was blank and featureless. It was as if he had almost forgotten about her, or purposefully erased her from his mind and memories. The accompanying feelings with the faceless woman were not good at all.

"Maybe," he pursed his lips a little.

"Maybe?" Kagome frowned at his answer. Now she was dying to know who that woman was. Even though the reason eluded her.

He quirked his eyebrow up at her sudden curiosity, "are you always so inquisitive?"

Kagome was stumped for a while, before she scowled, "nani o! I am merely trying to help you you know. Don't be so paranoid."

"The pot calling the kettle black," he said dryly.

"Humph! Fine, then don't say! It's not as if I'm interested in your past or your lover."

"Are you sure?" he grinned a little.

"I... mochiron! Your past has nothing got to do with now anyway," she pouted and stuck out her tongue at him, inwardly smirking that he could not see her.

"You talk too much, sometimes," Sesshoumaru silently agreed with her and raked his fingers through his long hair.

"You arrogant jerk! I shall not talk to you then, ja ne," she got up to her feet too hastily and lost her footing on the thick snow. Kagome swiftly cursed the slippery snow, cursed the enchanting fireflies, cursed her never-ending curiosity, and most of all, cursed her own clumsiness. Was she born with two left feet? Or right feet?

He could hear a soft plop and her angry muffled voice, and smirked to himself again. "Are you always this clumsy?"

Kagome pushed herself up from the freezing snow and glared at him, "oi! Who was the one who got us out from Byakuya's illusion?"

His smirk grew wider, "who was the one who carried you around, and who was the one who clung on to me like a crying baby from her nightmare? Do not bite off more than what you can chew miko."

And that was it. Her limit of patience had been stretched beyond what she could tolerate. Kagome affirmed to herself that he was a bigger bastard than Inuyasha, and that Inuyasha was a cute waggy puppy compared to the old acid-tongued dog in front of her.

"**BAKA**!" Kagome threw a handful of loose snow at him, to which some of it splattered against his head and cheeks. Sesshoumaru raised both eyebrows up in surprise, feeling a little angry yet excited at her retaliation. Without a word, he compacted a ball of snow expertly with one hand and hurled it accurately at her face.

"Owww!" Kagome almost could not breathe from the sudden iciness that greeted her face; she had not expected the taiyoukai to return her 'favour'. She wiped the snow off her face and started to make small snowballs with her hands, "you idiot! I have never, ever lost a snowball fight with Souta, so don't you think that you can win me just because you are... bigger!"

Souta? Was that her otouto?

He felt it weird to be compared to a ningen. Was the comparison justifiable in the first place? And what did 'bigger' meant?

Snow soon got into his sensitive ear, and a frown crossed his face, he was behaving like an impertinent child with her, yet could not help but to feel ridiculously happy. It was as if he had returned to his youth, even though he could not remember who he had engaged himself with at this childish game. Another large snowball was flung straight onto her face in no time, and some of the ice dripped down her neck, causing her to shudder and tremble.

"You will not win me, you know," he grinned deviously, yet his tone was flat and honest.

"Ooohh!" Kagome felt incredibly cold and hot at the same time. If she had hated anything, it was snow in her face. _"That baka did not even move from his position! I'm not going to lose to him!"_ She started to build a huge snowball furiously, ignoring the snow attacks that Sesshoumaru was pelting against her back, not caring whether her trench coat would be wet nor that she might catch a cold the next day.

"Doushite? Kowai ka?" his taunt only drove Kagome to the point of no return. When she did not respond, he decided that he had enough of this silly game and uncrossed his legs, preparing to get up when he suddenly heard her shuffling heavy footsteps. Before he could duck, Kagome had dumped her entire snowball, the size of a basketball right onto his head of silver hair.

Snow covered his entire head, and dripped down his forehead, nose and cheeks. Sesshoumaru thought that he had never encountered a more childish, persistent and crazy woman before. One who did not value her life too, apparently.

Kagome swept the snow off her hands and folded her arms smugly at the motionless taiyoukai, "doushite? Kowai ka? Samui ka?"

But he did not move nor spoke, and Kagome uncrossed her arms a little worriedly, "oi! Don't think that I will be tricked!" When he still did not respond, she went forward and gave his shoulders a light push. To her horror, he fell back onto the snow silently, his gleaming silver hair fanning out with the loose snow. Kagome rushed forward and fell to her knees beside him, worried that he had gone into a mild shock from her gigantic snowball and shook his shoulders hard.

"Sesshoumaru! Daijoubu-"

A blur of white flashed past her eyes and before she knew it, she was flipped over like a pancake in MacDonalds. Sesshoumaru was straddling her, his right hand pressing against her left shoulder firmly to prevent her from moving. It took a while before it registered in her mind that she had been tricked, a dirty low trick; and the snow was really, really cold.

"You!" she seethed in anger as she tried to struggle away from his iron grasp.

"That will teach you a lesson, to never do that again," he smirked victoriously.

"Hanashite!" Kagome wriggled and wriggled, but her legs were bound together tightly like a rubberband by his knees.

"Muda na, don't you like it?" Sesshoumaru then lowered his face and pressed the tip of his nose against hers, knowing that such an intimate gesture would irritate her to no end.

Kagome froze as she stared into his gauze-covered eyes. He was rubbing his nose against hers in the same way she had did in the cave when he was unconscious. She was angry, he was teasing her, taking advantage of her gender as a female. But at the same time she was entranced by the way he looked. His long silver hair shone brightly as they fell around his face, cascading down like a waterfall curtain around their heads. She could feel his warm breath on her mouth and his body heat was enveloping her like a comforter, as he continued to rub the tip of his sharp long nose sensually against hers. The maroon stripes on his chiselled masculine cheeks suddenly appeared particularly attractive to her and she trembled, not knowing whether it was from the snow or from the near proximity of his body.

Sesshoumaru could sense her shivering and frowned a little, "you are cold."

Kagome's mind seemed to be clogged with certain actions and desires that she had never thought before, and she simply gulped when his warm breath tickled her nose.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, when he heard her swallowing. He realized that it was not only her body that was shaking, he could also hear her loud heartbeats pounding away in the silent night. Her breath, laced with her signature scent overwhelmed his olfactory senses, and she chose to squirm at that moment, resulting in her breasts grazing against his chest lightly.

Sesshoumaru tensed and his lips parted, as Kagome attempted again to wriggle her way out of the taiyoukai. Her struggling rubs aroused him, and he could feel heat rushing down to his groins as he thought of the kiss that he had shared with her a few days ago. He suddenly yearned to taste her lips again, to bury his tongue inside her warm moist cavern, and he slid his hand up to her cold neck slowly, rubbing his thumb against her jaw.

She felt as if her limbs had gone weak like melted cheese and closed her eyes when his big hand touched her neck. The rubbing actions that his finger was making made her heart beat harder and faster. The rational part of her was telling her to stop this, to run away. It was all wrong, she was not supposed to do this with him. But the irrational part of her was convincing her that she needed to explore this, whatever he was doing to her. Amidst the internal struggle, she could not help but to wonder why he was always so hot.

"Why are you always so warm?" she mumbled as he traced his finger up her jaw to her earlobe, then the soft shell of it and back to her lips. It was so soft, yet so cold, and her lips were trembling slightly, as if they were inviting him, luring him to close his mouth over them. Sesshoumaru did not know what got into him, but there was only one thought in his mind.

He placed his mouth near the ear that he had trailed, and whispered to her softly, "shiranani..."

His low, husky voice made her squirm, and she yearned for him to speak again, in that same hoarse sexy voice. When he placed a light kiss on the shell of her ear, she jumped a little. When his hot wet tongue trailed down to her earlobe, Kagome thought that she had melted like marshmallows on fire. Sesshoumaru relaxed the grip of his legs and caressed her shoulder, sucking on her earlobe gently and whispered to her again, "your scent intoxicates this Sesshoumaru..."

Kagome gasped at his words, it sent tingles up her spine and through each and every of her nerve, making her heart beat harder than the marathon she was forced to run for her school. With much effort, she finally raised her right hand and reached up for his neck, pulling him down slightly. Sesshoumaru could feel her feathery light touch and his mind was swamped with nothing other than her lips. Swiftly, he moved down from her earlobe and kissed her hard, as if he had been craving for it for decades. In the back of his mind, Sesshoumaru knew that he should not do this. They had not known each other for long, but he knew that she liked someone else. But the desires of the flesh overtook his willpower, and he could not hold back any longer. The gentle caress over his neck was the last straw, and he decided to act first, think later. Kagome had suddenly turned from 'someone interesting yet irritating' to 'someone very seductive and appealing'.

Her head was getting giddy from his hungry kiss; she felt scared, yet excited and desired at the same time. She subconsciously wrapped her arms around his neck and fisted her hands in his thick mass of heavy silver locks, revelling in its silkiness and strength. It felt like liquid, if that was ever an appropriate description for hair. Sesshoumaru sucked on her lower lip hard, urging her to open her mouth, to which she gladly obliged. Then she could feel his hot slippery tongue darting into her mouth and around her teeth impatiently, and in return, she tried to suck on his lower lip, all the while knowing that it was not right, but she could not stop either.

She had never knew nor experienced anything like this before. So enticing, appealing, and unstoppable.

Both kissed passionately until he forced himself to pull away for air, "Kagome..."

She took in big gulps of icy air, which freshened her mind up a little. _This must stop.  
_"Sesshoumaru... yame ro..."

But the taiyoukai could not hear her words, all he felt was her soft heaving chest underneath his chest. He bent down and licked under her jaw, kissing it alternatively while rubbing the other side of her neck with his long fingers. Her eyelids were half-shut as she frowned, she had to stop before both lost control of themselves. She struggled but the words would not come out from her mouth. The skin on her neck burned, her lips burned, his touches burned too. Sesshoumaru could feel himself getting hard, and he dipped his head down, unbuttoning her trenchcoat as he planted soft kisses down, inwardly cursing at the strange invention and the number of buttons her coat had.

Kagome gasped again, whatever he was doing to her was doing incredible things to both her mind and her body. She could feel a hard bulge pressing against her privates, and it both frightened and excited her to no end. Her belly quivered as she felt the sinful pleasures from the friction below, and before she knew it, a blast of cold air rushed by her chest. Her eyes flew open in realization and horror that he had cut away her sweater with his claws, "Sess-"

She was effectively silenced when she felt his mouth closing over her right nipple, sucking on it torturously while his hand was caressing the other mound, squeezing it firmly every now and then. Kagome did not know why, but arched her body up as she groaned. It felt so good, as if electricity was travelling up and down, and she really did not want him to stop. She never knew that foreplay was so good and her mind could only concentrate on the actions that his long hot tongue was doing to her hardened nipple.

Sesshoumaru buried his nose in the valley of her chest and inhaled deeply. The scent was stronger, tinged with a light heady musk. He rubbed his nose and lips against both nipples, marvelling at how soft yet firm they felt in his mouth. He circled her areola with his tongue while giving it a light squeeze, before letting his hand move down to her stomach, rubbing over her flat planes sensually. The hardness in his groin was getting a little too uncomfortable, and he wanted nothing other than Kagome to take away the ache.

"Kagome... are you still cold?" he nuzzled his cheek against her soft chest, wondering how she looked like if he could see. She could only grunt and shook her head a little in response to his question. She could feel an uncomfortable wetness between her legs, and rubbed her thighs together, hoping to relieve the ache. Sesshoumaru seemed to take the cue and moved his hand lazily down her stomach to her abdomen, then applied a gentle pressure against her core. Even through the thick denim material that she wore, he could feel the heat and increased the pressure, inwardly wondering how it would feel if he was buried deep within her.

She bucked, when he pressed against her, there. It seemed to relieve the ache, but made it worse as his hand left there. Sesshoumaru enclosed his warm mouth over her nipples again, making loud sucking noises as he guided her limp hand over his hard member, his erection was getting too hard and uncomfortable for him now. She gasped as she felt the steel-hard bulge underneath her fingers. Kagome was stunned, yet curious to know how it felt. She shakily caressed the hot rod up and down with her fingers, and elicited a soft moan from him. He bucked against her fingers, memories of the sensations of hot wet friction slid into his mind. Oh how he wished he could thrust into her, hard and fast; violently and deeply.

"Kagome... I..." he pulled his lips away from her swollen nipples and panted hard as he leaned his forehead against her ribcage. He was not sure whether he could continue on with his administrations, as he tried to imagine the unearthly pleasure that he would derive from her suspected virginal core.

"Iie..." she finally got the word out from her mouth. Kagome pulled her hand away from the pulsing bulge and cupped his cheek, pressing his face against her bare heaving chest. "Dame..."

Sesshoumaru had never felt so disappointed in his life, but he did not want to push her, not force her. He swiftly got up and kissed her hard, before flipping over onto the snow and pulling her with him, "you shouldn't lie on the snow for so long."

The sudden change in position jolted her out from the trance and she breathed hard, as she stared at his face. Even with his eyes bandaged, she still could not resist his charm. His lips were slightly swollen, although she could not see whether they were as red as hers. Her naked breasts were pressing against his firm lean chest while she laid on top of him, feeling every inch of his long hard member.

"Sesshoumaru... what happened?"

He did not reply, but pulled her down and pressed her face against his chest. She could hear his thunderous heart-beats, they seemed to be beating as hard and fast as hers; and they synchronized perfectly, to her bewilderment and amazement. Sesshoumaru did not know what had gotten into him, all he knew was that he wanted Kagome, more and more of her until she had asked him to stop.

"Sumanai," he spoke into the cold midnight air.

Kagome closed her eyes, she was so confused and troubled that a headache was slowly creeping up. Her mind tried to handle the barrage of thoughts that were crashing against the doors of her sanity, and to comprehend why she had given in to him so easily. She felt dirty, like a slut when she thought of her so-called loyalty and affection for Inuyasha. Wherever had he gone in her mind when she was making out with Sesshoumaru? Was she a mindless animal that succumb to the desires of her body without sparing a thought for others? She buried her face into his warm firm chest and sobbed.

To say that he was alarmed was an understatement when he smelt her salty tears and heard her soft muffled cries. Had he hurt Kagome? Was she angry or upset? Did she felt forced? Questions sped through his already-perplexed brain and he smoothed her wet tussled hair, "Kagome?"

When she did not respond and continued sobbing, a strange emotion entwined itself around his heart and he almost choked from it. He suddenly felt weak, that he could not console her; vulnerable, that he did not understand why she cried; worried, that he did not know what would happen to their 'not-ally-not-enemy' relationship.

He sat up immediately and brought her up with him, not knowing what to do other than to wrap his right arm around her shoulders tightly, "please, don't cry Kagome..." He hoped that she would stop crying as soon as possible, it was driving him crazy. He suddenly felt guilty, she was a virgin, and probably did not know much about such matters. And he had almost took it away, almost, if she had not stopped him in time.

Sesshoumaru frowned hard, since when had he degenerated into such a beast? Was he like that before he lost his memory?

Kagome pulled away, looked up into his face and gasped softly. His face was so apologetic, with his deep frown and the grim line of his thin lips. _Is he blaming himself?_ She never knew this side of him, and she felt herself traitorously pulled towards him like a magnet, unable to turn her gaze away until he apologized again.

"This will not happen again, I give you my word," Sesshoumaru did not want her to hate him, nor leave him. He needed her, in many ways, though some were not yet known nor made clear to him. But it was not the time to think through such matters, she was more important, though he asked himself again why it was so.

Kagome closed her eyes and leaned against his chest, earning a surprised look from him. She felt tired, weary and worn out. She could not understand how their relationship had progressed to such a state within a short span of seven days. It seemed that everything happened much faster when she was with Sesshoumaru, while it was the opposite with Inuyasha. Was it merely sexual attraction, or something else? Kagome could not decide, there was something intangible in the odd relationship that she had with Sesshoumaru that she could not put a finger to. Had she started straying away from Inuyasha so fast? Had the embers of her love for him died out so soon? Or was it merely her, trying to hold onto whatever she could? To preserve her first love as long as possible?

She opened her eyes and stared at his bright yellow obi. She wondered if Sesshoumaru liked her, or merely using her to satisfy his carnal desires. Kagome was not sure at all, her common sense told her that he was a dignified taiyoukai, the Prince to the Western Lands, and would not lower himself with a ningen, let alone to like one. But somewhere a voice told her that she was wrong, even though it could supply no proof nor evidence. And she could not get angry with him, no matter how she tried. She wanted him, as much he had wanted her, she thought.

"Can we go back? I'm tired," her voice was listless and weak. Sesshoumaru was not sure whether she had forgiven him, nor taken his promise. But he knew that she needed rest, and he would not devoid her of it. He slipped his hand under her butt and stood up, carrying her like a child as she drifted off to sleep against his chest.

"Aa," he closed his eyes in regret and retraced the route back to their camp  
.

* * *

A/N: Ahh... here is the big big lime. Enjoy, since there wouldn't be any to come in the near future (at least I think so)...

nani o - what! (frustrated in this case)  
mochiron - of course  
ja ne - bye/see you  
doushite - why  
kowai ka - scared/frightened?  
samui ka - cold?  
daijoubu - alright  
hanashite - let me go  
muda na - no use  
shiranai - I don't know  
yame ro - stop  
dame - no/don't/no good  
sumanai - sorry (masculine)  
aa - yes


	14. Chapter 14

**The Subject of Who Loves Who.

* * *

**

**_"The course of true love never did run smooth."_**

**- William Shakespeare.

* * *

**

When Kagome woke up, she realized that she was sleeping on his lap again for the second time in the week. His furry pelt and right arm were wrapped around her body securely, giving her the warmth and security needed for that dreamless sleep. She peered up to his face cautiously; Sesshoumaru was sleeping soundly against Ah-Un, his lips slightly parted as his head drooped down and his thick heavy bangs covered his dark blue crescent moon. A small smile crept up her face, _he looks so peaceful and relaxed when he is sleeping..._

Dawn was breaking soon, she could see the light blue and yellow hues thrown over the sky by the climbing sun, yet she was reluctant to leave his side. It felt good, protected and loved to be in his embrace, especially the way he was holding her. If she did not think so much, Kagome thought that they could almost be considered as a couple, as lovers, if everything was simple.

If he was not a youkai, if she was not a miko, and if she had not fallen in love with his younger brother first.

But things were not that simple, and it hurt her head. Her heart ached too.

He was a taiyoukai, who hated ningens and Inuyasha, with a duty to continue what his father had started and to restore his lands. She was a miko, who was supposed to hate youkai, stand by Inuyasha and her friends, with a duty to restore and complete the Shikon no Tama, destroying it from the face of this earth. And what was more, was that they had a bigger issue in front of them to take care of; Naraku and his evil scheme, his incessant hunger for power and strength.

Kagome closed her eyes and frowned, _'their'_ issue was simply out of the place. There was no time to think about it, and it was pointless to do so, nor to imagine the impossible. It was as if she was trying to go against the laws of nature, to even try. And why should she? Sesshoumaru probably see her as nothing more than a simple woman, one who could fill and satisfy his cravings and bodily desires. Besides, she had Inuyasha, even though she knew that she did not possess him. Kikyou did, her incarnation did, the most powerful miko did. Kagome had nothing to boot, nothing in her possession in Sengoku Jidai, other than her feudal friends and her feelings for both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, albeit a bit mixed-up and confused. And her old tattered second-hand bicycle which was going to expire soon.

"Baka na..." she chided herself softly into his furry pelt and willed herself not to cry. She tried to convince herself that what happened last night between him and her, was merely pure sexual attraction and nothing else. Even if she did harbour some dubious feelings for him, she was sure that he did not reciprocate. She knew that she was plain, simple and not very clever, _not that he can see, but he surely must have felt it..._ Kagome resolved within herself that she would not be made use of again.

_Besides, I don't think I like him either. It's just that, that's it._ Afterall, Sesshoumaru would never have taken a second look at her if he was his old self. And he probably did not even know her name until he almost lost his life.

Kagome did not know whether to laugh or to cry. The triangle seemed to morph into a square now with this new addition.

Sesshoumaru's ears twitched, he knew that she was awake, and could hear her scolding herself. He did not want to let her know that he had woken up, he was not sure of her state of mind after last night's incident. He felt guilty towards her, and he wondered why. He was sure that he must have had taken many women to bed before, and it confused him to no end why he would care about her feelings.

Nevertheless, he reminded himself that he needed her still. She was a powerful ally to begin with. And that was more than enough.

Kagome tried to pull away, to which Sesshoumaru loosen his hold over her instantly, still pretending to be asleep. She scampered to her backpack as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake either Rin nor Jaken up. She quickly pulled another sweater over her head, stashing the torn one into her bag and buttoned up her trenchcoat.

"Sesshoumaru," she turned around and called out to him softly.

He took a short while before feigning a light yawn, "huh?"

Kagome bit on her lower lip hard and reassured herself that this was for the best for both of them, and she needed to reaffirm her love and loyalty towards Inuyasha. What happened last night must never reached his ears, it was truly unintentional. She had never meant to betray him, nor stray away. She took a deep breath, saying out the words slowly and firmly, "what happened last night was a mistake. The one I love is Inuyasha, just so you know."

Another foreign emotion welled up in his heart, he was not sure whether that was hurt or jealousy, or just plain anger. He did not expect that she would say such a thing, did she not like him at all? Why did she agree last night then? Had she mistaken him for Inuyasha? Or did she try to imagine that he was he? He would not ask her such questions, even though he wanted the answers. It was pointless. She had declared her love and loyalty to his so called-otouto, and he would not stoop so low to try to win her back.

He was a youkai, a man had dignity and pride. And she was afterall a ningen, with a limited life-span.

"I know, we are allies," he tried to control the strange unknown emotion but it somehow slipped into his voice, making it seem a little forced and strained.

Kagome's heart plummeted at his affirmative words. She was right, all her deductions and assumptions had turned out correct. She had been too naive, to wish for the impossible. She should have listened to her rational side, to listen to Reason, instead of hoping that there might be a thin thread of affection between him and her. It was ridiculous, really.

She nodded her head stiffly, "we need to go to Jinenji-san today for your medicine."

* * *

"Kikyou-sama, what should we do now?" Kohaku asked politely as he looked at the insect-like Shinidama Chuu dropping bright round tamashi into the miko's clay body. They had been on the chase after the wounded Mouryoumaru but he had evaded both the miko and the taijiya, seemingly to have disappeared into thin air.

Kikyou opened her eyes wearily and looked down to Kohaku from the tree that she was resting on. She truthfully had no idea except to continue to look for Mouryoumaru, he afterall held the heart of Naraku. She allowed the soul-stealers to carry her down from the tree, "we will have to continue to look for him. He will look for you too, for the Shikon no kakkera in your back."

Kohaku nodded firmly, he was prepared to lose his life, to rid this world of Naraku and his detachments, and most importantly, to atone for his sins towards his village, and his ane-ue. He knew that he could never reconcile with Sango, it was simply impossible. He could never lift up his head before his ane-ue; his hands were drenched in their fellow villagers' and chichi-ue's blood. He must, he had to, take revenge and appease the souls of the dead. They haunted him almost everynight.

"Kohaku, do you know what this will entail? To destroy Naraku and the Shikon no Tama?" Kikyou asked.

The young taijiya nodded his head again and answered resolutely, "hai Kikyou-sama. I am prepared."

Kikyou frowned a little at his readiness and willingness, she could only hope that her eventual plan of purifying Naraku along with the completed Shikon no Tama would work. She really did not want to sacrifice Kohaku, but it seemed to her that there was no choice. She afterall, could not resurrect the young taijiya from the dead, and the elimination of that damned Naraku was her topmost priority.

Then perhaps, she would be able to finally rest in peace with Inuyasha.

* * *

"Ne Kagome-neesan, did Sophie and Hauru live together happily?" Rin turned her head around and asked excitedly.

Kagome smiled and pushed her head back, while she continued to pull her comb through her messy knotted hair, "be still. I cannot comb your hair like that."

"Ne, what happened to Sophie and Hauru, 'nee-san?" Rin pleaded again. Jaken rolled his eyes at the banter between the two female, wondering why would anyone want to comb Rin's hair. It was not even as strong and shiny as his lord's.

"Hmm... Sophie and Hauru quarrelled quite often. Hauru sees her as a plain old 'baa-san who takes care of his castle for him, and constantly teases Sophie for poking her long nose into his magic business. Hauru often ditches his young apprentice to chase after Sophie's younger sister. Sophie is disgusted with Hauru, although she likes him very much. But she cannot tell him her feelings ne? She is old, and Hauru likes young pretty girls."

Rin frowned a little, "Hauru is not nice. Sesshoumaru-sama is nice."

Kagome's comb stopped halfway through her hair, while Sesshoumaru's expressionless mask remained as he leaned against the base of a tree.

"Dakara, Sophie does not admit her feelings for him, and she hopes that Hauru is sincere towards her sister. And she has to think of the bigger problems, like how to free Calcifer from the contract and to undo the curse the Witch has laid upon herself. She often scolds Hauru for spending all the money, not being serious and honest, while keeping a watch on him that he does not ditch her sister for other young pretty ladies," Kagome continued.

"This is so confusing," Rin's frown deepened.

"Ja... do you still want me to continue, or do you want to eat your lunch? Kagome smiled and ran her fingers through her now tangle-free, fine hair.

Rin shook her head, "what happened then? Rin is curious!"

"Dewa... there was one day when the young apprentice could not figure out a magic spell. And since Hauru is not around to teach him, he turned to Sophie and asked her for help. Now Sophie really likes the young apprentice, just like how I like you Rin."

Rin smiled and stole a peek at her lord, who was resting motionlessly against the tree. "Kagome-neesan, does Sesshoumaru-sama like Rin too?" she tried to whisper, even though Kagome knew that he had heard it. With or without the twitch in his ears.

Kagome began to gather up her hair neatly into a ponytail and whispered back softly, "mochiron! Sesshoumaru talks to me about you so often, don't let him know!"

Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrow up in surprise when Rin giggled. It was true that he held some fondness for his little ningen ward, but to why Kagome had bothered to put in a good word for him eluded him. He had thought that she would make things difficult for him.

"Soshite, Sophie tried to figure out the spell with the young apprentice. It was actually part of a poem, and there was this part about searching for a fallen star. It took them somewhile before Sophie decided that the best way to work the spell was to look for a real fallen star."

"Nagare boshi ka!" Rin squealed, she had only seen a few and it did not seem to her that one was able to catch one.

"Hai, sou desu ne. Sophie and the young apprentice took Hauru's special boots, that can travel and cover wide distances in a few steps, and went out to search for the nagare boshi. It took them one whole night, and they almost caught one. But the nagare boshi did not want to live, and he told the young apprentice to let him go on his way, instead of catching him. So they returned back to the castle empty-handed. When Hauru returned, the young apprentice immediately asked him how to work the spell. But Hauru was shocked and furious when he found out the truth, and scolded the both of them for trying to catch the nagare boshi."

"Doushite?" Rin frowned again.

Kagome smoothed out the frown in her forehead and rested her hands on her tiny shoulders, "Rin, you should not frown too often. If not you will look like Jaken you know."

Both female ignored the kappa-youkai's shouts and threats while Rin scrunched her nose and shook her head, "hai. Why did Hauru scold them? He is so fierce, Sesshoumaru-sama never scold me."

Kagome sighed inwardly, "Hauru was worried for them you see. They did not know of the dangers of catching a nagare boshi, and its consequences. Calcifer tried to hint to Sophie about that complex weird spell but she did not understand."

"Hint? What hint? Why does he want to hint to Sophie?" she asked again.

"Rin, iku," Sesshoumaru got up from his resting place and walked to Ah-Un, while Jaken tottered behind him obediently. Kagome bit her lower lip as Rin jumped up excitedly and dragged her across the snow to the draconic youkai. Sesshoumaru and Kagome had avoided conversation as much as possible, and she could not help but to feel down. He behaved as if she was not in their group, and almost ignored her existence. She knew that this would happen, but it still did not go down well with her.

She mounted the draconic beast reluctantly and wrapped her arms around Rin's shoulders, who held onto the leash happily. She noted that the taiyoukai behind her made no physical contact with her until the beast soared to the air, and he had to prevent her slipping back by placing his palm against the small of her back.

"Kagome-neesan, what is the hint?" Rin was persistent in getting the answer.

"Ano.. Calcifer wanted to hint to Sophie that the poem was about the contract between Hauru and himself."

"Wakaranai, what is the hint?" Rin frowned as she steered Ah-Un slowly in the air.

Kagome did not want to reveal the crux of the story, but it seemed to her that she had no choice, "that poem was the curse that bounded Calcifer to Hauru, and Hauru to Calcifer. The fire youkai is the nagare-boshi, and he holds his heart you see."

Rin squealed, "heart! Hauru is 'heart-less'!"

"Ee, a lot of people are heartless, not only Hauru," Kagome nodded her head and stared into the clear sky, thinking of a particular taiyoukai who was seated behind her.

"It is better than being brainless," Sesshoumaru remarked dryly.

"I don't think Sophie is brainless," Kagome frowned.

"To try and catch a falling star, which is beyond her means."

"She was just being helpful."

"One needs to know one's limits."

"There's nothing wrong in trying."

"Dreaming you mean."

"Dreams make up a person."

"Building legendary castles in the air that can fly are silly dreams."

Kagome chewed on her lower lip, not willing to back down. She had never lost to Souta during their arguments either.

"What's wrong with dreaming?" she asked indignantly.

"One merely needs to know one's limits," Sesshoumaru repeated himself again.

"But Sophie likes Hauru!" Kagome was losing her nerve.

"But does Hauru like Sophie?" he asked himself whether she was trying his patience.

She was stumped. He remained silent. For a long while, none said anything until Rin broke the silence.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, Kagome-neesan, what are you talking about? Rin doesn't understand."

But Kagome did not reply Rin, "does it matter whether Hauru likes Sophie?"

Sesshoumaru could not help but to feel irritated and his brows creased, "isn't Sophie wasting her time then?"

Her eyelids drooped, her shoulders slumped, her head hunched forward, "then I guess Sophie should not have believed in the first place."

Sesshoumaru arched both eyebrows up at her dejected reply which was not related to the story at all. _That_ was unexpected.

"Kagome-neesan, what did Sophie believe in?" Rin frowned too.

"Sophie should make her feelings known first," he spoke meaningly.

"And why should she? Since she knows that Hauru does not like her."

"Did Hauru said so?"

"He chases after other women, and Sophie is still an obaa-san."

"But did Hauru said that he did not like Sophie?"

Kagome tightened her grip over Rin's shoulders and bit hard on her lower lip again, "no."

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and pinched his nose bridge with his thumb and forefinger equally hard, "good."

"Kagome-neesan, Rin does not understand! Rin wants to know!" she pouted as she steered the draconic beast to the familiar herb fields.

"Rin, yakamashii! This is between Sesshoumaru-sama and Kagome!" Jaken could not help but to intervene, and wondered at the same time whether his lord meant what he said. The interesting silent exchanges between his lord and the wretched miko did not escape his old experienced eyes. Jaken wondered to himself again whether the loss of memory altered his lord's taste in women.

"Nani?" Rin did not receive her answer when Jaken was promptly knocked off Ah-Un and landed onto the center of the bare snow-covered field as they descended. Kagome was once again dragged off by Rin to the small thatched hut while Sesshoumaru remained outside with Ah-Un. He did not understand how the argument had started, and why Kagome had insisted that he did not like her, not that he knew the real answer to it. But he was irritated, and was starting to believe that Kagome could not differentiate between reality and fiction. He was not Hauru, nor Kagome Sophie. He was no wizard, and she was no hat-maker. He wondered why she had compared themselves to the characters in her story book.

"She bothers me to no end," he mumbled to himself and his eyebrows knitted themselves together again.

Jinenji came out of the farm with a nervous Kagome and Rin trailing behind him. Sesshoumaru could hear the loud heavy draggy footsteps and he bowed his head a little, he needed the herbs afterall. Jinenji looked down at the taiyoukai before him and smiled, "konnichiwa Sesshoumaru-sama. I have heard of your condition from Kagome-san. Demo you look well and fine!"

"Aa, when will my eyes recover?" he was dying to see, and the first thing he wanted to see was her face. Bothersome as she was.

The towering hanyou unwrapped the gauze around his head and examined his eyes carefully, the tissue and skin were already healing nicely, and there would be naught but a light faint scar around his eyes. "Sesshoumaru-sama, your youkai powers are helping you to heal fast. Demo I am no doctor but a mere herb farmer. I think the restoration of your sight will depend on Kami-sama."

All remained silent at the uncertain news, Jaken thought it was as good as saying that his lord would remain blind indefinitely and pressed his lips together firmly.

"What about my memory?" Sesshoumaru asked the last question.

Jinenji paused for a while before he replied him slowly, careful not to antagonize him after what he had heard from Kagome.

"The poison from these herbs were made to enter through the eyes, which are the weakest and defenceless point of entry in our bodies. If not stopped in time, the poison will travel to the brain first, before spreading it to the rest of the body. I believe the poison has affected your brain, but only a little since you seem to be regaining back your memories."

All remained silent again at the bleak prospect, no one knew when Sesshoumaru would regain his memory.

* * *

Kikyou's black eyes widened, Kohaku's jaw dropped. Both stared as Kagome flew over them, with Sesshoumaru and Rin on the familiar draconic youkai. She was seated right in the middle between the taiyoukai and the little girl, as if she was a part of their family. Kohaku thought that he saw a blob of dark green hanging precariously onto the furry pelt of the taiyoukai.

"Kikyou-sama..." Kohaku did not know what to say while his head followed the flight of the draconic youkai until it was out of their sight. He never knew that Kagome was on such good terms with Inuyasha's ani-ue. It was just so... strange.

"Follow them, I have some unfinished business with Kagome," Kikyou frowned as the Shinidama Chuu brought her up to the skies.

* * *

A/N: I almost wanted to hang myself for this chapter. URGH. URGH. URGH. Again, thank you to my readers. I cannot emphasize how much I love the reviews and emails!

Shinidama Chuu - the insect-like youkai that steals the souls of people. Kikyou uses such to steal the souls of young girls to fill her clay body.  
tamashi - soul  
taijiya - youkai terminator  
Shikon no kakkera - Shikon shards  
ane-ue - respectful way of addressing one's elder sister  
chichi-ue - respectful way of addressing one's father  
'baa-san - old granny/auntie dakara - therefore/that's why  
ja - well/then  
dewa - then  
soshite - and then  
mochiron - of course  
nagare-boshi - shooting star/fallen star  
sou desu ne - yes you are right/oh i see  
doushite - why iku - go (let's go)  
wakaranai - I don't understand ee/aa - yes (casual)  
yakamashii - shut up! (noisy/boisterous)  
nani - what  
demo - but  
ani-ue - respectful way of addressing one's elder brother


	15. Chapter 15

**The Truth.

* * *

**

**_"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."_ **

**- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860).  
**

**

* * *

**

"Ahhh..." Kagome closed her eyes and placed the wet folded towel over her head as she dipped into the onsen. It was simply heavenly. She had not had a bath for a week. A total of seven freaking days. The warm mineral waters rushing around her bare skin relaxed her muscles, while the rising sulphur steam comforted her frazzled nerves. Onsens were always a treat for her, since bathing facilities were scarce and not as complete as her own personal bathroom. She sometimes missed her hair-dryer.

"Kagome-neesan, do you like onsen that much?" Rin asked puzzledly, not understanding why the older onna looked so relaxed and happy.

"Hai! Soaking in onsen is very good for one's body and blood circulation!" Kagome leaned her aching back against the smooth boulder and rested her head, slowly splashing the warm waters over her shoulders. _It is definitely good, to be away from that pompous jerk for a while..._ A smile appeared on her moist face, as she tried to recall his look of annoyance when she pulled his ear.

Rin nodded and dipped her head under waters, but could not see anything swimming around. It was disappointing to her that their meal would not have any of fish. It was afterall her favourite food. "Kagome-neesan! There is no fish here."

Kagome could not help but to laugh out at her naivety and innocence, "Rin! There is no fish here, the waters are too warm for the fish to survive!"

Rin looked down in embarrassment while Kagome waded to her and ruffled her wet hair, "do you want me to wash your hair?"

"Hai!" her reward was Rin's wide toothy smile, she almost could not remember when was the last time her own mother did that.

Kagome thought for a long on how to approach the issue while she scrubbed Rin's scalp, and yet not hurt her heart. She did not know why, but felt that it was her duty to teach Rin. She was afterall the only grown female in the group now, and the only one who was a human. Perhaps her maternal instincts were kicking in, she mused to herself.

"Rin, what do you want to do when you grow up?"

The little one replied instantaneously without a blink, "Rin wants to be with Sesshoumaru-sama!"

Kagome slumped her shoulders, "iie Rin. What do you want to do? Other than to be with Sesshoumaru-sama?"

She tilted her foamy hair and frowned, chewing on her lower lip as Kagome continued to wash the grime off her soft black hair. "Un... Rin does not know. Rin only wants to be with Sesshoumaru-sama and Jaken-sama."

The miko let out a soft sigh, it seemed that Rin had not yet consider her future without her lord and the kappa-retainer. "Rin, but you must find something to do ne?"

Rin turned around and brushed the bubbles that was threatening to drip into her eyes away, "Kagome-neesan. What can Rin do? Jaken-sama says that I am useless to Sesshoumaru-sama because Rin will die one day. And he says that Rin is not strong."

Kagome's eyes rounded. Jaken had already told her.

"Dakara, maybe you should learn something useful to help Sesshoumaru-sama?"

The light returned to her dull eyes, "honto? What can Rin do? Rin can pick flowers and catch fish..."

Kagome rinsed her hair with the waters and nodded, "ee, maybe one day you can learn a skill. But I don't want you to steal. Stealing is wrong, and is bad."

The little one bent her head again, she knew that stealing was wrong. But it was a habit, the only survival skill that she knew. And Sesshoumaru-sama had not mentioned a single thing about that. "Hai."

It was obvious to Kagome that Rin was ashamed, and she clutched both her tiny shoulders firmly, "Rin, daijoubu. Sesshoumaru-sama loves you a lot, a lot. Really. He is not ashamed of you, and one day you will be able to help him, like Jaken. Soshite, the strength that we have is different from what Sesshoumaru has, it is inside us, here."

Kagome pressed a hand to her heart and the other against Rin's flat ribbed chest. Rin lifted her head at the twinkle in Kagome's eyes and smiled brightly. Kagome did not know whether to feel happy or sad, glad or worried at her unwavering affection and unabated loyalty to the taiyoukai.

"Why can't Sesshoumaru-sama and Jaken-sama come?" Kagome laughed out nervously at her question while Rin swatted at the mysterious-looking bubbles, wondering how she should answer her when another female voice replied.

"Because they are males."

Kagome froze, the voice sounded too familiar. She turned around slowly, pulling Rin to her defensively, "Kikyou?"

The undead miko stepped out from the veil of gushing stinging steam and fixed her cold stare at her reincarnation. "Kagome, I see that you have now consorted with youkai. Where is Inuyasha?"

She hastily grabbed her towel from the rocks and wrapped it around her body, not wanting to make a fool of herself before Kikyou. "What are you trying to say?"

Kikyou raised one of her thin eyebrows up, "are you playing ignorance? You are with Sesshoumaru."

Kagome swallowed and asked back calmly, "so?"

"Has Inuyasha deserted you?" her tone was emotionless even though her black eyes possibly glinted.

"Inuyasha and the rest are in Kaede's village if you must know."

"I did not ask about that."

Kagome narrowed her deep molten irises at the undead miko and tightened her grip over Rin's shoulders, "iie. Inuyasha has not deserted me."

Kikyou let out a breath through her nostrils, it seemed to her that Kagome had not let go of Inuyasha. When would this silly witch finally learn her place? "You are with Sesshoumaru, isn't it so?"

"It doesn't mean anything, I am helping him."

The undead miko let out a breath through her nostrils, "helping him? Does Inuyasha know then?"

Kagome bit on her lower lip hard and remained silent. She could not imagine the tempers that Inuyasha would throw if he knew that she was now travelling with his half-brother willingly. He would probably ignore her, and perhaps lose his trust in her. Kikyou took another step forward, seeing that her reincarnate had chosen to keep her mouth shut.

"Hand me the Shikon no kakkera."

Kagome urged Rin to get dressed while she clutched the precious glass bottle around her neck, "iie. It is mine, not yours. You are no longer protecting the Shikon no Tama."

The undead miko seethed in anger, "you are merely my reincarnation. And your level is nowhere near me."

Kagome climbed up onto the boulders warily, not daring to turn her back fully on her incarnate, "you have told me many times. Aren't you sick of it?"

"Why should I? This is the truth. Do not waste my time, hand me the Shikon no kakkera."

Kagome could not help but to shiver a little in the open winter air, even though the hot steam still swirled around the both of them. Rin was now fully dressed in her yukata and hid behind Kagome, not understanding what was going on but she knew that something was not right. There was a dangerous edge to the other miko's voice that she did not like at all.

"I will not, you are going to take out the one from Kohaku's back isn't it? You want Naraku to complete the Shikon no Tama, to purify him at the same time right? Inuyasha will not allow you to do that. Kohaku is Sango's otouto, we will never let you have your way."

Kikyou flexed her fingers over the long bow she held in her left hand, "Inuyasha will not be able to stop me. Not to mention you, nor your silly friends."

Kagome took a step back, "we will. Kohaku will not be sacrificed, there have been too many unnecessary deaths. Onegai, try to understand."

Kikyou tightened the grip over her bow, "are you going to give me, or not? Do not force me."

Her lips tightened into a straight line and Kagome shook her head hard, "where is Kohaku? I want to talk to him! Sango needs him, you cannot do this to them!"

Kikyou had reached the limit of her patience. She had merely wanted the Shikon shards, but now that Kagome was refusing her request, she felt tempted to retrieve the rest of her soul back. If she had her full soul, she would be able to live with Inuyasha as a real human, with a real body.

If, if only she had her full soul.

She took out an arrow from the quiver slung over her back, and steadied it on her long bow, "Kagome, do not tempt me either."

Her deep molten orbs widened in fear as her heart pounded hard against her chest, "Kikyou! What are you doing!"

The undead miko narrowed her eyes at her easy target, Kagome was less than a hundred steps away from her, "give me the Shikon no kakkera, and I will leave."

"Your hamaya will not work on me," Kagome replied as coolly as possible, while she tried to pry Rin's fingers away from her towel and whispered, "Rin, run. Run!"

Rin shook her head, tears brimming around her frightened eyes while she hung on tightly to the white thick towel that was in front of her, "Kagome-neesan! Kowai!"

Kikyou nocked the string, and the tip of arrow glowed light pink, "my hamaya works on youkai. But it still kills. Through flesh and blood. Do not tempt me Kagome. The rest of my soul is still with you."

"But it is mine, NOT yours!" Kagome cried out as she ducked to the side desperately, pulling the frightened Rin with her. The undead miko's arrow had almost hit her. "Kikyou! Are you mad!"

A small smile crept up her pale lips, "iie. I am not mad. Since you do not want to give me the kakkera, I will have to take it by force. Besides, Inuyasha never belonged to you. Nor this soul that resides within your body."

She took out another arrow and readied it on her bow, taking her aim before letting it fly to its human target.

"SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!"

* * *

Sesshoumaru lifted his eyelids and stared at his hand. He could see nothing, not even a hazy outline of his palm and fingers. He draped his arm over his right knee and laid back against the tree, wondering when the day of light and colour would come.

He yearned to see her face, to cup her cheeks, yet at the same time afraid of that moment. How would he react? What would he say to her? He had never felt so confused before; to do, or not to do. To say, or not to say. To begin, or to simply let it end. Sesshoumaru could not entirely figure out his feelings for the wretched miko. She frustrated him, angered him, taunted him; yet he still felt deeply attracted to her, this he would not deny to himself. Kagome was more than just an interesting creature, she filled his head with surprises, and sometimes unexpected shocks, depending on what the situation was.

He knew that it was impossible between them, a youkai and a miko. The mere thought of such a pairing was ridiculous at best. Besides, Kagome had declared to him that she love Inuyasha, not him. He let out a soft growl at the mention of Inuyasha's name. He did not have good feelings towards the few memories that he held for his half-brother, and after her declaration for him, he was sure that his dislike for Inuyasha would only increase.

Sesshoumaru was dying to know what Kagome thought, but he could not bring himself to ask. Somehow or the other, he did not think that she was honest with her feelings, whether in regards to him or to Inuyasha. But who was he to inquire? And what did he want out of it? He had no answers to these questions, and was not prepared to jeopardize the already strained relationship he had with Kagome. Their enemy was still lurking around somewhere, waiting for his chance to attack them and it would be foolish of him not to cooperate.

_Perhaps, this is only but a short period. It will pass away_, he closed his eyes and rested his head against the tree bark, not wanting to think anymore. It was a waste of time and effort. There were bigger issues to tackle with, like the possibility of another attack by Naraku and his underlings.

"SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!"

Or, the safety of Rin and her. Sesshoumaru rose up in less than a second and dashed for the wretched onsen, inwardly cursing himself for leaving the two defenseless females there. All Jaken saw was a flash of white before he could open his mouth to ask what had happened.

* * *

When he arrived at the onsen, he could hear the soft frightened cries of Rin and Kagome's whisper-like groans. He could smell blood, and a cold earth-mud scent that mingled with the sharp scent of the onsen's steam.

"Kagome! Rin!" he shouted, not knowing where they were. Fear gripped his heart as he cursed himself again for his blindness, he did not know whether they were alive, or dead.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin cried out, to which the taiyoukai quickly located the source of the voice and rushed to her. "Kagome-neesan is hurt! She is bleeding!"

He frowned, the blood had belonged to her. Kagome reached out and grasped Sesshoumaru by his arm, "hayaku, nigete. Kikyou is here. Take Rin and RUN!"

"Kikyou?" Sesshoumaru could not remember the name at all, and he could not understand why Kagome had asked him to run away. Was he such a coward in her eyes? Or did she think that he would not rescue her? Or had she doubted his abilities? He swiftly swiveled his head to the cold voice that floated through the steam next.

"I see that he is blind. Then it is easier for me," Kikyou took a few steps forward and steadied another arrow on her bow.

"Iie! He is Inuyasha's ani-ue, you cannot kill him!" Kagome winced in pain as she tried to pull the arrow out from her right calf. But a mere touch of the arrow would send more jolts to the wound, and she squeezed her eyes shut from the pain. She never knew that it hurt this much, and for a second wondered how Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru could ignore their injuries.

"Leave, this Sesshoumaru do not wish to fight the likes of you," he wrinkled his nose a little at her faint scent.

"Do not presume, youkai," Kikyou's calm cold voice was all that Kagome could hear as she squinted her eyes hard.

Sesshoumaru's brows creased further and he got to his two feet, brandishing Toukijin and pointed it at Kikyou, "you dare to harm those under my protection?"

He suddenly felt very protective over the two females, and could hear the soft bubbling of his blood raging, at the edge, waiting for it to burst forth, to be unleashed. Someone had harmed Kagome and Rin, right under his nose; this was unpardonable. They belonged to him and no one could touch them. Absolutely.

Kikyou arched an eyebrow up in surprise, "ho? Kagome is now under your protection, not Inuyasha's anymore?"

He twisted the angle of Toukijin and lifted his chin up a little, ready for battle, "do you want to fight this Sesshoumaru?"

She pulled the string back and smiled widely, "all youkai are my enemies."

Kagome could see the bright pink hamaya flying through the steam towards Sesshoumaru and gasped loudly, "IIE!"

He could hear the swoosh in the air and the purifying energy that accompanied the projectile, and easily blocked the arrow away with a swish of Toukijin. "Miko ka? Hamaya ka?"

The undead miko frowned, Sesshoumaru was not any easier to deal with even though he was blind. His excellent sense of hearing could gauge the direction and the speed of her arrows, and it would be futile for her to aim for him. She knew that it would not be so easy to take on Sesshoumaru, but she had not expected such demonstration and wits from a blinded taiyoukai.

Then she smiled.

Changing the angle of her bow, Kikyou nocked another arrow on her string and narrowed her eyes, aiming for Kagome's chest.  
"Return everything that you have to me, none of it is yours!"

Both pair of eyes widened in horror when they saw the bright pink hamaya flying towards Kagome. "Kagome-neesan!" Rin shouted helplessly as she sat limply beside the injured miko. Sesshoumaru instantly dashed to Kagome, wanting to knock the deadly arrow away. Just at that very moment, Kikyou pulled her right fist back and the hamaya changed its course, the bright pink deadly tip now aiming for the taiyoukai's chest.

Kagome's jaw dropped, they had fallen for Kikyou's plan. She did not know since when had Kikyou acquired this new skill but there was no time to think as the hamaya neared both of them. Sesshoumaru would not be able to duck in time, and she could not bear to let him die.

The last thought of his death was more than unbearable actually, and she did what came to her mind first.

"Sesshoumaru!" Kagome leapt to the front and clung onto his shoulders desperately with her nails, hoping to cover his long torso with hers as much as possible. He would die from the hamaya, but she would only be injured, if she was lucky.

Kikyou's eyes widened as her hamaya pierced right through Kagome's creamy right shoulder, while her reincarnate pushed the taiyoukai away. Sesshoumaru's grip on Toukijin's hilt loosened from her sudden jump and he staggered back a little from her next push. When he heard her soft cry next, he knew what had happened.

Sesshoumaru lunged forward and slipped his arm under hers, holding her up against his chest as he wound his only arm around her waist. He could hear her strained and ragged breaths, and Rin's frightened cries. He could smell her blood, and feel the warm bodily fluid trickling down past his wrist. He could feel her body going soft and limp, and the anger and vengeance that accompanied the hamaya, which was firmly lodged in her shoulders.

All that raged through his mind and heart was the kill. To kill Kikyou, the offender who had injured his Kagome. They did not even have the time to sort through their feelings for each other, and Kagome could not die, yet. He surmised that she was somehow important to him, and she was also under his care and protection. No one could take her away from him, yet. The mixture of unidentified emotions was too much for him. He thought he could almost hear his blood rumbling through his core, and he trembled a little as winds of his own youki swirled around him fast. He could feel his fangs and claws lengthening, and a mysterious sensation traversing up and down his body. Like something was going to emerge out from him, something... truly _him_.

"Sesshoumaru..." Kagome moaned as she tried to open her eyes.

Sesshoumaru was brought back to the reality and the gusts of his youki died down. He knelt down slowly, laying Kagome's head on his left shoulder as the bright burning green youki whip materialized from his fingers. Without another word, he flung the whip across the onsen, hurling up broken pieces of boulders and earth as he destroyed the hot spring. He continued this for several more times, not contented until he felt that his youki whip had got the undead miko.

Kikyou's eyes rounded and immediately called for her Shinidama Chuu, which swiftly flew to her command and carried her away from the dangerous blast. She wanted to continue, to retrieve her soul and the Shikon no kakkera, but she had not expected such a display of his uncontrolled anger, which indicated something about the mysterious relationship between her reincarnate and the taiyoukai.

"This is not the end, I will not rest until I retrieve every bit of my soul," her bitter parting words echoed through the wispy remnants of steam as Kikyou left the battle scene with her Shinidama Chuu. The bright green string of youki disappeared as Sesshoumaru frowned at Kikyou's words. He did not understand what she was trying to get at, and it seemed that she and Kagome were enemies, love rivals perhaps. He pressed two fingers under her jaw, inwardly feeling glad that Kagome was still alive.

"Kagome?" his voice sounded almost strangled.

Kagome slowly forced open her eyelids and realized that he was well and uninjured. The searing pain in her shoulder was sending a burning sensation down her shoulder, and she could feel her right arm going numb and cold. "Yokatta..."

He frowned hard at her foolish act, the arrow could have pierced right through her tender human heart, could have sent her to the Netherworld, could have left him without her. "Baka, you should not have shield this Sesshoumaru."

She smiled, even though she felt a little woozy and heavy from the pain, "you sound like your oldself you know."

His frown deepened at her unrelated nonsensical babbling, "you are injured, badly."

"I will not die, I have a long life."

"You still speak nonsense. You can bleed to death."

"Doushite?"

His frown disappeared, and his neat eyebrows went up a little at her question, "_'doushite?'_"

It was her turn to frown, and even that took a lot of her already-sapped energy, "doushite? Why do you not leave?"

His eyebrows dropped from the arch, and he paused for a long while before he replied slowly, "you are under my care. Just... like Rin."

_"Just like Rin."_

Kagome thought that the pain in her heart was more intense than the one in her shoulder. It seemed to rip her apart, from the insides, carelessly, ruthlessly and methodically. She knew that she should not have asked the question; it was purely a matter of his pride and honour to protect his servants and subordinates. But she had asked, and his answer was not what she had wanted to hear. It was funny now that he had made clear of their relationship, she finally understood what her heart and mind were saying. She had initially ridiculed her own emotions for the taiyoukai, dismissing it as the similarities that he shared with Inuyasha. Then she denied it, thinking that it was impossible for her to like someone like Sesshoumaru. But now, it was so painfully obvious that she could not ignore the fact that was right in front of her eyes. She really did like him.

_What a joke..._

Tears rolled down her cheeks unwillingly and she closed her eyes, "sou ka."

Sesshoumaru could smell her salty tears and frowned, had his answer upsetted her? Was that not what she wanted to hear? He concluded there and then that he would never understand the female gender.

"Kagome, I cannot touch this hamaya. It still burns with her purifying ki."

"Rin, daijoubu desu ka?" Kagome asked softly as she glanced to the side, Rin was now kneeling beside them silently, her face stained with tears and trembling slightly in her fear. Her black eyes were rounded and wide as she look worriedly at Kagome.

Kagome tried to smile at the frightened girl, "Rin, do you remember the well? Where my home is? Bring me there, I need-"

"No, you will stay here with me," he slipped his hand under her butt and carried her up as he got to his feet. He would not allow Kagome to leave him, there were too many enemies around them, and he could only feel safe if he was with her.

"Demo-" her sentence was once again interrupted by his voice.

"I will take out the arrow," he turned on his feet while Rin made a hasty grab for Kagome's clothes and bag and followed her lord quietly.

Kagome rested her chin on his shoulder and remained silent. She was in too much pain, emotionally and physically, to argue with him, and her eyelids were getting heavier and heavier with each step that he took. She knew that it would be futile to say anymore if he had made up his mind. A sudden thought came to her as she struggled to keep her eyes open. And that was how well she actually understood him. There were still certain areas of his character that remained gray and hazy, and she attributed it to him being a full youkai. Inuyasha was a hanyou and he surprisingly retained more human traits than his own youkai lineage, and that was when he did not transform. She could not afterall fathom the satisfaction of tearing your enemy into pieces, nor remain cool when one is facing all odds; just like the one they had experienced with Kikyou. She thought that Sesshoumaru would probably never knew how worried she was when he came to their rescue. He could be purified to ashes with one of Kikyou's hamaya, and he might never know what happened, literally.

Kagome finally gave up and shut her eyes, willing herself to think no more of Sesshoumaru but of Inuyasha and her close friends. He was the one that she love, not the taiyoukai. Inuyasha was the one she had spent three years with, not Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha was the pitiful lonely one, not Sesshoumaru. By the time they had returned back to the campsite with a flustered Jaken waiting anxiously, she had fallen unconscious. To which Sesshoumaru was immensely glad for it.

He turned Kagome around and laid her back gently against his chest, careful not to move the arrow lest the wound tore through her flesh further. He felt around for her bare right shoulder until his fingers touched the hamaya. The purifying ki from it stung and burned his skin and he frowned. Kikyou indeed had the intentions to finish her off, judging by the intense ill-meaning emotions that she had attached to the hamaya. Whatever that was, Sesshoumaru vowed to himself that Kikyou would not have another chance to harm Kagome. Whatever that meant.

He gritted his teeth and wrapped his fingers around the hamaya, ignoring the sizzling pain and apologized softly to the unconscious miko, "sumanai." With one push, the tip of the arrow speared through her flesh and with another firm quick snap, he broke the shaft into two and pulled the hamaya out from the front of her injured shoulder. Kagome's eyes flew open in shock and pain, as her body tensed and she straightened up and cried out, "aahhh!"

Sesshoumaru dropped the arrow and pulled the half-conscious miko back, pressing his burnt palm hard onto her wound to stop the blood, "Kagome..."

But she had blacked out again from the intense pain and her head rolled back onto his shoulder. He frowned when he felt her body relaxing, indicating that she had slipped into unconsciousness again. He then pulled out the other arrow from her calf, inwardly hoping that her muscles and tendons would not be too badly damaged.

"Sesshoumaru-sama..." Jaken's teeth chattered together as he stared at his lord's injured hand. He had ignored the bright shining lethal hamaya, and took it out from Kagome as if it was nothing but a fly. Words could not even describe the admiration he felt for his youkai lord. Sesshoumaru was indeed the eldest born of the once feared Inu no Taisho.

"Jaken, gather the herbs necessary for her wound. Now," he issued out his command, her life was the topmost of his priorities.

The kappa-youkai scrambled away with a deep bow to the nearby woods and dragged Rin along with him, they would have to search for Jinenji before his head got chopped off.

"Sumanai..." he apologized to Kagome again, even though he knew that she could not hear him. If he had been more prudent, and not gave in to Kagome and her silly protests about privacy and equality of gender, none of this would have happened. He had misjudged the situation and paid a severe price for his blunder. Somewhere in his mind, he knew that it was not the first time that he had made a mistake, since he was sure that he had lost his arm in a battle. But this was different, Kagome was wounded as a result of his miscalculation. This almost unpardonable mistake unnerved him. To such an extent that he almost could not think rationally and act quickly to save her and dispose of the attacker.

It was appalling. Really. His lips twitched a little at the self-reached conclusion.

He removed his palm away from the closed up wound and wrapped his pelt around her half-naked body, resting his arm on her belly as he propped her legs up on his, away from the frozen snow ground. He could feel her soft body against his, and the tendrils of her long moist hair across his arm. It felt good, like he was pleased and contented; and comfortable, as if he was soothed and taken away from the tension that he experienced just now. It suddenly occurred to him, that he wanted her like that. Lying on him, resting peacefully with him, as long as possible. He wanted Kagome, her body and her heart. Her mind and her soul. The thought of she returning to Inuyasha was simply awful. The next thought of she leaving him when he was healed and well was alarming. _Have I grown so used to her?_

And Sesshoumaru finally admitted to himself that, perhaps he did not want to see. His sight was precious, but the miko lying on top pf him was even more so _in a way_. If he did not recover, and if, he remained blind, then perhaps Kagome would stay with him forever. Even though he did not like the fact that she was taking care of him, a big part of him wished that somehow or the other, Kagome would be by his side as long as possible. He enjoyed her presence, her not-so-witty yet sometimes-intelligent retorts, her summery scent and her body. Her stubbornness, her fiery temper, her kindness, her childishness, her soothing touches, her soft melodious voice. Everything about her was attractive, there was actually nothing about her that could be even remotely deemed as repulsive to him. Perhaps irritating, but lovable and adorable to him in a twisted manner, he thought to himself wryly.

But he yearned for more than her presence. He wanted her love and admiration too. And he did not want to share her heart with another person, whatmore with a half-hanyou brother that he could not even remember his face. It was disgusting, even though again, Kagome herself was a ningen. A miko!

Sesshoumaru pressed his temples hard, this was all too confusing and complicated to him; his thoughts running around in circles, making no progress at all. It would take him a long time to figure out his feelings, but at least he knew what he desired. And if he knew what he wanted, then he merely had to execute whatever actions needed to attain his goal. Yes, he believed that he was always a single-minded methodical youkai, always with a goal and aim, plans and contingency plans. Nothing would deter him from his goal. It was as simple as that.

He tightened the hold around her waist, and rested his chin on her sweet-smelling head. He would have to win Kagome's heart over from Inuyasha, by hook or by crook. She would belong to him and no one else. And it really did not matter whether he liked her or not, as long as she stayed with him. To think like this was much simpler and clearer. There was no need to further complicate things; when they are already so entangled in their own mess.

Really.

* * *

A/N: Another quick update! Because I have just watched **Guren no Horaijima** and am so happy... therefore this update. ) Pls continue to send in reviews, I live off them! This chapter killed 90 of my brain cells.

onsen - hot spring  
ano - erm/excuse me  
dakara - and so/therefore  
soshite - and so/in addition  
ee - equivalent to 'yes' (casual you might yes)  
daijoubu - alright  
Shikon no kakkera - Shikon shards  
onegai - please  
hamaya - purifying arrow  
kowai - scary/scared  
hayaku - quick  
nigete - run away/escape  
Shinidama Chuu - the soul stealers that Kikyou uses, look like long gigantic insects  
yokatta - that's good/I'm glad  
doushite - why?  
sou ka - i see/so that's it  
daijoubu desu ka - are you alright?  
sumanai - sorry (masculine)


	16. Chapter 16

**The Impossibles.

* * *

**

Glossary:

kusarigama - the sickle-chain weapon that Kohaku uses. Sorry for the lack of better description.  
ane-ue - respectful way of addressing one's elder sister  
chichi-ue - respectful way of addressing one's father  
ani-ue - respectful way of addressing one's elder brother  
ano - excuse me/erm  
taijiya - youkai exterminator (sounds like Ghost busters eh)  
Kikyou-oneesama - this is the way that Kaede address Kikyou as her elder sister.  
imouto - younger sister  
otouto - younger brother  
Shikon no kakkera - Shikon shards  
naru hodo - i see/so that is it  
kekai - barrier  
akai Tessaiga - red Tessaiga (the form that can break and push through barriers, courtesy of Shiori)  
onegai - please gomen ne - sorry (casual)  
houshi - buddhist monk  
saya - sheath for sword/katana  
demo - but  
neko - cat  
soshite - and then  
nani - what

* * *

Kohaku looked at the stiff back of the undead miko as they walked silently on the snow-covered well-trodden path to the village. Kikyou had not mentioned a single word ever since she had returned, even though her face looked paler than usual. Her grim tight lips indicated that she was not in the best mood and it was in his best interests not to ask questions.

This, he had learnt while he was pretending to serve Naraku and Hakudoushi.

Not that Kikyou would harm him, but somehow he did not feel that there was a real relationship between the undead miko and him. They had came together for a purpose; she wanted the shard in his back for revenge, and he needed her purifying powers to kill Naraku. To put it bluntly, they were merely using each other, in a nice way. Like a symbiotic relationship between animals and parasites, _"mutually beneficial"._

In addition, she was a powerful miko, dead or alive, and he did not wish to get into her bad side. Kikyou could have forcefully taken the shard out from him, but she did not. This indicated that she had a shred of humanity in her soul, and the kindness that she had bestowed upon him was more than enough. Kohaku wanted nothing more than to personally witness the demise of Naraku. Even though he knew that it was impossible, but at least he was given the opportunity to participate. And he would be able to live as long as possible, until he meets the devil himself in the Netherworld.

Still, he could not help but to think about what had happened between Kikyou and Kagome. The two shared such striking resemblances that he wondered for a moment whether they could be sisters. But they were rather different too, from the look of their eyes. Kikyou's eyes were dead, cold and empty, as if she was devoid of anything. Kagome's eyes were alive, warm and open, as if her emotions were threatening to pour out from her very inner soul.

Kohaku felt immense guilt towards Kagome as her frightened look re-appeared in his mind. He had almost killed her with his kusarigama that time, when he was still under Naraku's control. If not for Sango and Inuyasha, his hands would be tainted again with another innocent's blood. He recalled that Kagome had been very nice to him, taking care of him like a younger brother. He also knew that Sango was very close to Kagome, from the occasional times that he accidentally bumped into his ane-ue and her group. Sometimes he felt a little left out and lonely, not knowing who were the people that his ane-ue traveled with nor the things that happened among them. But wishing to be by his ane-ue's side was no good at all.

Revenge was more important. Atonement for his sins was more important. His ane-ue's safety and happiness were of utmost importance. His personal happiness and desires were not. He had lost his right to such things when he personally killed his chichi-ue.

He rubbed his nose a little and glanced to the side, he recognized this village. It seemed to be Kikyou's hometown. His gaze flitted back to the miko in front of him, her back was firm and straight as she continued to take her languid steps down the gentle slope. Kohaku wondered to himself again why Kikyou had returned to her birthplace.

"Kikyou-sama?"

She stopped in her tracks, but did not turn her head around as she adjusted her straw hat.

Kohaku remained behind, "ano... why are we here?"

Kikyou brushed the snow off her shoulder coverings and continued her descent, "to confirm something."

The young taijiya nodded thoughtfully and resumed his heavy footsteps. No more questions would be raised.

* * *

Kaede took her time to straighten her back as she hung the ladle beside the iron pot and resumed her position. Inuyasha and the rest loved her vegetable stew, and she always made it a point to prepare it when they were back from their tiring and dangerous missions. Even though Inuyasha always complained that it was meatless.

A smile crossed her wrinkled and heavily lined face as she rested her hands on her laps, watching the stew simmer to perfection with one eye. Sounds of footsteps approached her small neat hut, and Kaede thought it strange not to hear the loud hanyou's yells and shouts for food. _"I must be getting old and hard of hearing..."_

"Inuyasha ka?"

When the straw curtain was lifted away to reveal the visitors, the elderly miko's small eyes widened.

"Kikyou-oneesama!" Kaede greeted her undead ane-ue respectfully. That was how she had addressed her when she was young, and it would not change even if she was older than Kikyou now. But the admiration and deep respect she had once held for her ane-ue had disappeared. It was rare for Kikyou to pay her a visit, she could count with one hand the number of times she had returned to their hut and it was always for a reason.

"Kaede," Kikyou took a seat down and gestured to the taijiya to wait outside the hut. Kohaku bowed obediently and took his watch outside, inwardly hoping that they would leave before Inuyasha and the rest returned. He really did not want to see his ane-ue now; he was afraid that his determination might wane if Sango persuaded him to stay with her. On the other hand, he very much longed to see and hug his ane-ue. He thought to himself that he would give anything in this world, to see her face again before he dies.

Kaede's beady eyes followed the young boy as he disappeared behind the straw curtain, and returned to her undead visitor. "That boy... he's Kohaku?"

Kikyou nodded her head and fixed her cold stare back at her imouto, "I have questions for you."

The elderly miko stared at her brown thick stew and sighed inwardly, Kikyou's tone had not changed a single bit from the time she had been resurrected by Urasue. It pained her heart actually, to see her unable to leave this world without a worry and rest in peace. "Is it about Inuyasha?"

The undead miko's eyes softened a little at the mention of his name, "iie. It's Kagome."

Kaede looked up in surprise at her sudden interest in her reincarnate, "Kagome?"

"I do not know everything about her."

"She is your reincarnate, this you know," Kaede replied carefully.

Kikyou paused for a while, "what is her origins?"

"Origins?" Kaede lifted her sparse grayish eyebrows up a little.

"She does not seem to be a native, she dresses differently, talks differently."

"Ah..." Kaede nodded her head knowingly, not wanting to continue the conversation as she took the ladle and poured a bowl of stew for her ane-ue.

Kikyou narrowed her eyes a little, Kaede was avoiding, unwilling to answer her.  
"Kaede, do you not see me as your ane-ue anymore?"

She sighed softly and placed the bowl of stew on the wooden floor. "Kikyou-oneesama, what do you wish to know?"

"Her origins," Kikyou remained absolutely motionless.

Kaede closed her eyes in defeat, knowing that Kikyou would not leave until she had gotten her answer. She did not understand why, but it was no point asking why. Kikyou never let her in on her plans nor her motives. "Kagome is not born in our time, but five hundred years from now."

The undead miko's eyes rounded. She had never expected this.

"How did she come back then?"

"Through the Bone Eater's Well, it was the Shikon no Tama that brought her back here."

"She can travel through time easily."

"Aa, as long as she has the Shikon no kakkera with her."

Kikyou's lips tightened. If she was unable to retrieve her soul, then perhaps she could send Kagome back to her time, for good. "I see, and Inuyasha knows?"

Kaede nodded her head, "aa. Inuyasha is also the only one who can go to her time, without the Shikon no kakkera though."

A slight frown appeared on the undead miko's face, it seemed that sending Kagome back to her time was not good enough. Perhaps the well should be destroyed too. The best solution was of course to eliminate Kagome from the face of this earth, completely. It was unnerving, disturbing, and upsetting to see your reincarnate face-to-face. Not to mention that she was hanging around the love of her life, and that Inuyasha probably loved her back too.

"Naru hodo," Kikyou repeated again.

Kaede could not help but to feel a little worried for the young girl's safety, "Kikyou-oneesama. Why do you ask?"

"I saw her yesterday," she answered honestly.

"Impossible! She is back in her time, and if she is back, she would visit us!"

Kikyou raised her right eyebrow, her imouto seemed to like her reincarnate a lot. "She was with Sesshoumaru."

Kaede thought that her hearing might have indeed failed her, but retained her composed look and asked again, "Sesshoumaru? Inuyasha no ani-ue?"

Kikyou nodded her head and the memories of her numerous failed attempts at Kagome's life flashed past her mind. She hated Kagome; she took everything away from her, and that everything was in the form of Inuyasha. Did Kagome know how much she loved Inuyasha? Did she know how much she had sacrificed for Inuyasha? Did she know how much tears and pain she had went through for Inuyasha? She hated Inuyasha too, with a passion that drove her useless, lifeless clay body on. He had betrayed her again, for her sub-standard reincarnate. No matter how many times he had promised her that he would go to the Netherworld with her, the look in his eyes when he glanced at Kagome gave him away.

He loved Kagome, and she was sure that if he had a choice, he would prefer to stay alive with Kagome. But she knew that Inuyasha had a strong sense of responsibility and would not shirk away. He had let her down, and she had paid for it with her life. She thought that it would not matter, as long as Inuyasha agreed to spend the rest of his life with her in Hell. But no, she wanted Inuyasha to think only of her, to love only her, to protect only her. She hated, to share her possessions with someone else. She was meant for him, and him for her. It was like this fifty years ago, and it would not change for the rest of eternity. And Kagome had something that she did not have when she was alive: genuine care and concern from real friends.

Kaede locked her jaw firmly and thought hard. Kikyou had no reason to deceive her, but Kagome had no reason to be with Sesshoumaru either. Even if she had tried to imagine the possibility that Kagome decided to give up on Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru was the last person that she thought Kagome would turn to. Had the girl no common sense? Was there no limit to her courage? Or had she simply lost her mind? Kaede frowned a little, Kagome must have had her reasons.

"Kikyou-oneesama, is Kagome alright then?"

The undead miko narrowed her black round eyes until they were almost slits, "she is not dead."

Kaede looked at her ane-ue and shuddered inwardly at her pause and ambiguous answer. "Has Sesshoumaru harmed her then?"

Kikyou got up from her seat and turned towards the entrance, "they are close. Kaede, I must leave."

The elderly miko opened her mouth, but she did not have her chance to continue her questions.

"Kohaku! Kikyou!" Inuyasha sighted the young taijiya outside Kaede's hut and sped to them as fast as he could. Miroku and Shippou were stunned at Kikyou's sudden appearance but promptly gave chase after Sango who had already flown down on Kirara.

Kohaku's eyes widened as he saw his ane-ue riding on Kirara to him.

No, he could not let her see him. No.

"Kikyou-sama!" He turned around and Kikyou had at that moment flipped up the straw curtain and took a step out. Her eyes rounded a little in surprise when she saw her beloved hanyou rushing down to her in his usual red kimono. If it was the past, she would have smiled. But it was not, and she frowned. A light purplish kekai was instantly erected around them and the hut.

Inuyasha banged hard on the almost invisible kekai while Sango's eyes were brimming with tears as she stood helplessly outside the impenetrable kekai, "Kohaku..." Inuyasha took out the transformed akai Tessaiga and aimed it at the translucent barrier, "Sango, step aside!"

Miroku pulled the trembling female taijiya to the side while Shippou hopped onto the houshi's shoulders, "Inuyasha..."

The hanyou swung the red shining Tessaiga down on the kekai, but was promptly pushed back by the sheer force of it.

"Kikyou! Let me in! I want to speak to you!" Inuyasha shouted, he had not seen Kikyou for so long and he wondered why she had erected her kekai. He knew that Kikyou had taken a part of Midoriko's soul, and it was impossible to break through Midoriko's kekai. Still, he had to try. He had so much to tell her, too.

"Kohaku! Onegai, come back!" Sango could not control her emotions anymore and sobbed, while Miroku wrapped his arms around her shoulders and tried to hold her back from approaching them. It was useless to try anyway, not even Kagome could go through Midoriko's kekai.

Kikyou's black eyes remained impassive as she stared at the commotion in front of her. Her heart was dead, nothing burned inside except her hatred for this world. An undead being walking on the living earth, there was nothing that she could enjoy or pleasure herself with. She had died in hatred, and she would resurrect in hatred. The only other emotion that she could feel was her love. And she loved Inuyasha as much as she hated him. She never knew that one could love and hate someone at the same time, until now. And to such a degree, with such an unholy fiery passion.

"Inuyasha, I have not come for you," Kikyou turned and looked up to the light gray skies.

Yes, her world was all gray. No more extremes like black or white, devoid of the rest of the wonderful colors that living humans experience. Her Shinidama Chuu responded to her call, and soon passed through the kekai, wounding themselves gently yet firmly around their mistress and the young ningen boy.

"Kohaku!" Sango stretched out her arms and cried out loud, Kirara lifted her head to the skies and growled sadly.

"Ane-ue... gomen ne..." Kohaku whispered out softly as he felt his legs leaving the ground. He brushed away the tears from his eyes, he would not cry in front of his elder sister. He would be as brave as her, as strong as her. He needed to take his revenge, and he reminded himself of his goal every minute. It was the last thing that he could do for her. His last kin.

"Sango..." Miroku tightened his hold over his love, inwardly cursing himself for suggesting to return earlier. All would have been well and good if they had not bumped into Kikyou and Kohaku. Fate, it was all Fate. Working around them, playing with their feelings, as if they were nothing but pawns on a game of boring chess. Even though he was a houshi and ascribed to its teachings, he could not help but to think like this sometimes. Fate had given him Kazaana, a powerful yet suicidal weapon. Fate had allowed him to meet Sango, but yet unable to continue the relationship further. He hated Fate, sometimes. He felt useless and helpless most of the time.

Inuyasha sheathed Tessaiga back to the saya and dashed forward to Kikyou and Kohaku without a word, intending to follow after them as far as possible. Shippou shouted out, irked that the hanyou had gone after the undead miko again, "Inuyasha!"

"Miroku, let me go! I want to get Kohaku back!" Sango tried to shrug her shoulders away from the houshi, but Miroku held onto her firmly.

"Sango! We will never be able to get through Midoriko's kekai!"

"Demo..." Sango buried her face into her hands. How could she allow Kohaku to sacrifice himself! He was her only and last kin left, her only otouto. She could not understand why Kohaku wanted to give up on his life, was there nothing else that he could look forward to? To hold on to? What about their sibling-relationship? Was it not precious enough?

Miroku felt his heart heavy with lead as he hugged the crying taijiya tightly in his arms. There was nothing he could do for his good friend, nor the woman he loved. He cursed Fate.

"Sango..." He could only call out her name, there was also nothing he could say to comfort her too. How many times had she encountered her otouto, only to end up more heart-broken and helpless?

Shippou looked sadly at Sango and then to Miroku's half-lidded violet eyes. He really hated such situations. "Kirara..." The kitsune turned to the fire-neko who had untransformed back to her original kitten size. Even Kirara's mewling sounded sad. And Inuyasha was nowhere to be seen, again.

"Children, come into the hut," Kaede turned back into her thatched hut, sighing inwardly at another pleasant day gone awry.

* * *

Byakuya folded his arms lazily as he looked up to the sky. It was gray today, with small puffy clouds. A small bird flew past him, and he was contemplating on whether to catch it when he felt Kanna shifting beside him. The bird vanished from his line of view as he turned and looked at the nihility youkai, "Kanna?"

There was no response from her. Perhaps he should enlarge the lotus leaf they were sitting on.

His mind returned to the incident that happened several days ago, and he let out a long breath. i"That was dangerous..."/i The thought of a part of his soul attached to Kanna's mirror was not comforting at all. Even though she had promised that it would be returned to him once their mission was completed, but he was not foolish enough to take her words for it. As far as he could remember, agreements between youkai were never kept properly. One could only trust and depend on oneself. It was naivety anyway, to believe that one could overturn Naraku. He had created them, the most powerful youkai from the masses that he had discarded and determined not good enough for his own body.

Byakuya sighed inwardly. He had gotten himself into a big, big mess.

There were days that he thought of fleeing away from the puppeteer; but he was sure that Naraku would be able to locate him. There were days when he thought of turning against his master; but he was sure that Naraku would be a step ahead of him.  
Either way, he would end up dead meat. Just like one of his predecessors, although he could not help but to admire Kagura for her outrageous bravery and foolish thinking. She had not been able to conceal her desires, nor cover her footprints. Too obvious, too impatient. How could anyone _with any brains_ rush such things?

Naraku was no fool, he knew that very well. Kagura had been used to the full extent, to the very last minute. It was expected of him, really. He would have done the very same thing himself, if anyone were to betray him. Who would not? He propped his chin on his right knuckles and stared ahead, knowing that Kanna's mirror would direct them to Inuyasha and his group. He was not sure whether he wanted to join forces with her, not that he had a choice. He merely did not want to remain as a 'dog'. In fact, he was rather happy in a twisted way. He had his 'freedom', and Naraku had not threatened him, yet. He had no misgivings towards Inuyasha and the rest, nor would he understand Naraku's obsession with the damned jewel.

But, it was fun.

Yes, it was exhilarating to play around with their lives. It was exciting to play the game, to chase them around like cats after mice. Life is a game, was it not? The only thing that irritated him was his lifespan. He wanted to continue with this game as long as possible. But his mere existence could be wiped out by Naraku in an instant. Anytime.

That, was not fun.

Add Kanna to it, and the game almost become distasteful. The nihility youkai was just like Naraku, using him as a pawn to pave the way for her. He hated it. He wanted to be the cat, not the mouse-trap. Or better still, the master who owned the cat.

Byakuya pursed his lips and frowned. He needed to think, and not to daydream anymore of the 'what ifs'. Kanna had provided a plan and 'offered' partnership, but he need not necessarily follow her, even though she had a handle on him. Surely, there was a way to wriggle out of this, and perhaps, turn the whole situation to his advantage. Yes,_ nothing_ was impossible. He was powerful in his own right, and much more intelligent and patient than any of his predecessors, even Hakudoushi. If only he could rid himself of both Naraku and Kanna.

A sly smile appeared on his face as he peered to his left at the expressionless Kanna, his chin still propped on his right hand. The level of difficulty would increase, but it would make the game much more interesting and challenging. Byakuya's gaze returned to the skies, deciding that it was time, to use his brains for once.

* * *

Miroku stared at the bowl of vegetarian stew in his hands, quite unable to eat it. It smelled delicious, looked delicious, and he knew that it tasted delicious too. He took a quick glance around.

Sango was leaning against the wall, back facing them while she stroked Kirara's fur absentmindedly. Shippou was sitting still, staring solemnly back at him. The houshi averted his gaze away to Kaede, and sighed inwardly at the defeated look that she held in her good eye. If only Kagome was around, she would surely be able to think of a way to cheer them up. He felt a lesser need to be strong, when Kagome was with them. She did not carry the troubles that they usually did, having came from the future with a thousand and one interesting, useful applications and inventions. And the unshakeable confidence and optimism she had in Inuyasha's abilities were more than encouraging. She was their pillar of emotional support; he was their pillar of mental stability. Without her around, Miroku felt that he had the added responsibility to carry out Kagome's role. Not that Sango was not helpful, but he could hardly look to her when she herself was bogged down with her otouto's matters.

He sighed to himself, and braced himself up again. There was a purpose for him to be in this group. That was no coincidence.

"Kaede-sama, could you tell us why Kikyou-sama had looked for you?" Miroku put down his bowl of stew, which was cooling down fast in the winter afternoon.

The elderly miko took a sip of fresh tea and closed her eyes, sighing inwardly to herself. Her stew would go to waste, she was sure of that. "Kikyou-oneesama wanted to know more about Kagome."

Sango turned around, fresh tears still evident around her startled eyes. Shippou looked up from the cackling fire, surprise shone in his bright emerald irises. Miroku frowned a little. This did not sound good.

Kaede continued on her own, knowing that the youngsters were worried for Kagome. And she thought they should be.  
"She was interested in her origins, and asked me about it."

"Soshite?" Miroku started to worry.

"I did not tell her everything initially. But Kikyou-oneesama noticed the differences. Her dressing, her behaviour, her attitude, and her travelling tool were too obvious. I had to tell her the truth in the end."

His frown deepened, this was definitely not good news. There was no love lost between the two mikos, and Kikyou had more than one time attempted on Kagome's life. He was still not sure about her motive, whether it was to retrieve her soul or merely because Kagome had created the love triangle. But it did not matter, Kagome was his good friend, and her life was at stake.

"Kaede-sama, what else have you two talked about?" Miroku continued without a blink.

The elderly miko answered calmly, "she also asked how Kagome traveled through time, and I told her that Inuyasha was able to go to Kagome's time freely as she could to him."

His gaze dropped to the wooden planks as he pondered over the various reasons to why Kikyou had asked. The answers that came to his mind were worrying; some frightening. The undead miko had been less than friendly to Kagome, and her recently revealed agenda was not something that they liked at all.

"Kaede! Will Kikyou harm Kagome?" Shippou asked worriedly.

Kaede frowned, "I cannot assure you Shippou. Kikyou-oneesama has never let me know what she wanted to do. And I am afraid that I have never known her well enough when she was alive, to preempt her actions. Not to mention that she is now a changed person."

Sango bit on her lower lip as she cuddled Kirara. If she ever had a chance to face Kikyou alone, she had no doubt to what she would do. "Kaede, is that all that she asked?"

The elderly miko shook her head, to everyone's disappointment. "Iie, she did not ask anymore. But she told me something alarming."

All three pairs of eyes rounded. It was a rarity for Kikyou to release information.

"Kikyou-oneesama said that she saw Kagome with Sesshoumaru."

* * *

Inuyasha's ears twitched and his amber eyes widened. Many things passed through his mind; shock at the knowledge of it, bewilderment as to why she was with that bastard brother of his, fear for her safety, and anger at himself for letting this happen.

But wait. Was not Kagome supposed to be at home?

"Nani!"

Inuyasha could hear the alarmed voices of his three friends and squatted down silently beside the thatched hut. Kaede and the rest would never tell him about the last bit, and he was determined to remain calm for once. Eavesdropping was not his cup of tea, but he had to know. He did not understand why Kikyou had told Kaede that if it was true. Did she had other intentions?

"Impossible!" Sango clapped her hand over her mouth while Shippou's jaw hung loose as he steadied himself with his front paws.

"Is that the truth?" Miroku had to affirm his sanity. There was no reason why Kagome would be with Sesshoumaru, or vice versa.

Kaede nodded her head tiredly, "aa. Kikyou-oneesama never lied to me. I do not understand why she told me though."

"Is Kagome safe? Is she hurt? Why is she with Sesshoumaru!" Shippou's worry began to escalate to new heights as never before.

Kaede shrugged her shoulders, "I asked the same question too. She only said that Kagome was not dead..."

Shippou gulped, that was as good as not replying. Kagome could be half-dead, or almost-dead for all she cared.

Miroku closed his eyes and frowned so hard that he thought the tension in his head would explode. There was no reason to why Kagome sought out Sesshoumaru. And if she had not, why did Sesshoumaru sought her out? He was a taiyoukai, a dignified and honourable one. It was unlikely that he would want to place himself among ningen, since he had expressed his disgust by their weakness and short lifespan. Even a powerful hanyou like Inuyasha was nothing but dirt in his eyes. The little girl by his side was another issue altogether, but still.

"Kaede-sama, we must not let Inuyasha know this. We do not know the full details, and have not yet seen them with our own eyes. Before this issue is cleared up, Inuyasha must be kept out of this matter. If not..." Miroku shudder to think what the brash hanyou might do if he knew that his beloved Kagome was with Sesshoumaru. The possibility of Inuyasha endangering his life again was not something that he wanted to see.

"Aa, I think so too." Kaede replied, while Sango and Shippou nodded their heads.

Inuyasha narrowed his amber eyes as he stared at his bare dirty feet. Kagome had always complained about him leaving his footprints on her tatami-covered floor. He rubbed his feet on the cold snow quietly.

Why did she lie to him? There was no reason to why she had looked up Sesshoumaru. If she had not, then what exactly happened? Even though he disliked his ani-ue, he knew that Sesshoumaru did not do things without a reason. He could not think of a reason why he would abduct Kagome, other than to threaten him for Tessaiga. But even then, he had seemed to lose interest in their father's heirloom a long while ago. If there were no reasons for both to seek out each other, then... then...

Inuyasha frowned. His brain could not function anymore. Thinking was indeed hard. Reasoning was harder.

He was angry at his combat mates, for not telling him about this matter. They were right that there were no proof nor reasons to why Kagome and Sesshoumaru were together. He could not even find a reason nor excuse for it. But this did not mean that he should be kept in the dark; nor exclude the possibility that she was not in danger. There would be no smoke without a fire. Inuyasha scratched his head hard.

It could not be true, really. It was impossible, Inuyasha repeated to himself as he burrowed his feet deeper into the cold white snow absentmindedly.

* * *

A/N: I don't see this as a filler chapter, and it is not a filler chapter to me. Not everything is about our favourite pairing you know. The story continues... scuttles away trying not to laugh

And oh, I put the glossary before the chapter because some reviewers have asked me to. Send me an email if it affects anyone of you. ) Future updates might be slow too, Im swamped with my jap homework. Argh.


	17. Chapter 17

**The Hill in His Heart.

* * *

**

**Glossary:**

Shikon no kakkera - Shikon shards hamaya - purifying arrow kowai ka - scared?  
arigatou - thanks (casual)  
ano - excuse me/erm chotto - a bit/a little naze - why yappari - as I've thought so/I knew it ningen - human chichi-ue - respectful way of addressing one's father tadaima - Im back!  
okaeri - welcome back!  
'nee-chan - affectionate way of calling one's elder sister (Souta calls Kagome like that in the anime)  
denwa - phone Kagome desu - I am Kagome ureshii na - Im so happy!  
eeto - erm sou ka - I see konbanwa - good evening ja - well/then sumimasen - sorry daijoubu - it's alright/it's ok!

* * *

_**"I never knew what mortal love was about, it seemed familiar yet complicated;  
Just like a pillar of white wispy smoke, one can see but not reach it."**_

**- Excerpts from a Chinese Classic.

* * *

**

"Inuyasha, perhaps we should try our luck and see whether there are any Shikon no kakkera outside," Miroku proposed, hoping that the hanyou would agree and they would be able to keep a lookout for Kagome. If she had indeed stayed in their time.

"Aa, I could also go home and sharpen Hiraikotsu," Sango added quickly, hoping that Inuyasha would nod his head and that they would be able to catch a glimpse of Kagome.

"And.. I'll go with you!" Shippou said loudly with a large smile, almost too enthusiastically.

Inuyasha looked at his three friends, only Miroku's face remained calm and cool as before. Sango was staring anxiously back at him and the kitsune was almost fidgeting around. He narrowed his amber eyes a little, but decided to keep it to himself. He knew that they wanted to search for Kagome, and he too desired to seek the truth. Kagome would never betray him, she loved him, as much he had loved her.

He lifted his head and looked into the bright sky, "aa, we shall come back for the New Year."

* * *

Kagome tried to turn to her side, and realized that she could not. Her right arm was in pain, her right calf was in pain, her head was in pain too. She felt all weak, like a puddle of melted ice-cream. She lifted her left hand ardously to her forehead, wondering what had happened.

_Kikyou. And her hamaya. Sesshoumaru._

Her eyes shot open and the intensity of the pain doubled instantly. She had dreamt of him, lying in a pool of his deep red blood. Lifeless and motionless, like the way she had seen him when he was kneeling and barely breathing. She winced, dragging her left hand down across her pale face to her right shoulder and paused. She could feel the rough texture of bandages around her shoulder, and it was too tight for her preference. Sesshoumaru obviously was not a good healer, either that or he thought her to be as hardy and strong as him.

Her deep brown irises darted around, and she realized that she was not lying in the open snow. In fact, she saw dusty walls with cobwebs, old broken clay vessels, and a tattered straw curtain. It was a dilapidated hut, and there was an old musty scent to it, reminding her of her grandfather's storeroom in the shrine where he kept all his prized treasures. Kagome managed to push herself up after some heaving and struggling, and realized that it was really a very small hut. She saw a small basket of fresh green herbs for external wounds with her yellow backpack beside her, and loose snow all around the dusty wooden floor.

There was a small fire built around some stones, and the hut was warm, to her delight. Kagome looked down and her eyes widened when she saw that her towel had disappeared from her body. She was naked, with nothing covering her except his heavy furry pelt.

"_Whatever does he think he is doing!"_ Kagome thought angrily to herself as she dragged his heavy furry pelt up to cover more of her exposed upper torso. Then she smiled.

She could smell his strong masculine scent on the furry pelt, and it was unusually warm. She was not sure whether it was her body warmth, or his. She pulled the furry pelt up higher and rubbed her cheeks across it, reveling in the silkiness and softness of it. It reminded her of his hair, the way it felt in between her fingers, how straight and smooth it was as it laid docilely within her own raven curls. Kagome blushed at the next train of thoughts that followed, inwardly feeling glad that he was nowhere around. She recalled his teasing remarks, the snowball fight, and the way his swollen lips parted in desire for her.

She could not help but to feel grateful towards Sesshoumaru. He had rushed to her aid, protected her from a dangerous miko even though he was blind, and even sourced out a covered shelter for her recovery. He was an extremely proud person, but the fact that he had taken into considerations of her modesty and went through so much effort touched her deeply. Kagome ran her fingers lightly across the gauze on her right shoulder, and the blush intensified when she tried to imagine how he had done it with only one hand.

"You are awake," Sesshoumaru walked into the hut almost noiselessly.

The smile was promptly wiped off her face, and her large doe-like eyes stared back at the taiyoukai nervously. He was standing beside the straw curtain, carrying a wooden basin of what seemed like water with a old washcloth draped over it. There was nothing alarming about him, other than he was staring back at her.

"You... can see?" her unsteady voice shook a little. There was no bandages around his eyes, and she could see his stark golden eyes staring back at her. She felt unnerved, naked and exposed. Silly thoughts ran through her mind and she swallowed, despite the pain that was gnawing at her right shoulder and calf.

What if he doesn't like what he sees? What if he regains his memory when he sees me? What if-

"Kagome. Kowai ka?" he walked slowly and sat down gracefully beside her, placing the wooden basin of water on his thighs. Sesshoumaru could detect the frightened tone in her voice and wondered why. Did she not wish for his sight, _too_? Or was she afraid of something else? Similar thoughts ran through his mind and he promptly dismissed them as silly.

She stared into his wide golden irises that were not as round as Inuyasha's; the color was like cooled molten gold, rather different from the hanyou's warm amber. It gave her a jolted feeling, neither pleasant nor unfriendly. She had seen the same pair of eyes up close, staring mockingly and dangerously at her in their father's tomb, but the sensation was different then. She was not sure whether he could see, since he just stared silently at her without moving.

"Iie..." that was not really the truth, but what else could she say?

Sesshoumaru blinked, "you are not good at lying."

Kagome gulped, and dared not look away, "I'm... I'm not. I'm just... surprised."

He wanted to smile at her fear, and laugh at her outright lie, "this Sesshoumaru still cannot see."

She felt as if the invisible chains shackled around her were broken immediately and let out a long breath that she thought was too audible for his sharp ears. "Sou ka... but your eyes look much better now."

"Hn," Sesshoumaru could hear her faint sigh of relief and turned his face away. He did not know whether he should feel glad that she was no longer tensed, or frustrated that she was still frightened of him. Was his presence that intimidating sometimes? Or were there other unknown reasons? He wet the washcloth with the icy river water and gave it a hard squeeze.

"Clean yourself up," the moist rag laid on his outstretched palm.

"Arigatou," Kagome nodded once and took the washcloth, giving her face a careless wipe. She stole a glance at him, he was still sitting with his back straight and stared into space as usual. But there was a melancholy air about the way he sat, and it bothered her.

"Ano... how many days have I slept?"

"Three"

"Where is Rin and Jaken?"

"Somewhere."

Kagome laid the washcloth on her side and looked down. She wanted to go home, and not stay with him. Sesshoumaru was behaving oddly again, giving his curt and short answers. Then it suddenly struck her that he was slowly changing into his old self, and that thought made her heart heavy again. All the odds seemed to be against them as a couple together, perhaps it was best that she should leave him now. Kagome was sure that once Sesshoumaru regained his memory, he would not acknowledge their 'more than ally' relationship and simply toss it out of his brain as trash. Kagome could not fathom how naive she was sometimes.

She was silent again. His eyebrows dipped to the center, perhaps he was not engaging enough. He was never a conversationalist, and believed that actions spoke louder than words. He paused in his thoughts, wondering where that had come from when she let out a small cough that she was obviously trying to hide.

His head swung back to her, "are you in pain?"

Kagome tried to smile, even though she knew that he could not see, "hai. Chotto."

The frown deepened, he knew that humans recovered slower, but still.

"Kagome."

"Hai."

"Why are you frightened when you thought that I could see?"

She froze, not knowing how to answer him. She could not possibly tell Sesshoumaru all that. Yet she knew that she could not lie, a part of her brain mused to herself that he was the best lie-detector and he should be working for the military if he was in her time, while the other part of her brain tried to think of an answer.

"I... am not pretty," she blurted out honestly in desperation and kept her head bowed as she stared at his furry pelt. It was getting a little yellowish and she wondered whether he would mind her scent on it. Kagome suddenly felt very small and insignificant, as if she had just confessed her sin or admitted her deep dark secrets to a parent or a teacher. Sesshoumaru remained seated and motionless, not knowing what to say of her insecurity and fear.

No one knew how long, but he finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Does it matter?" he thought his question sounded a little familiar, until he remembered their argument over Hauru and Sophie.

Kagome sniffed, "you might.. dislike me."

Sesshoumaru quirked his eyebrow up, "and why is that so?"

"Because I am not pretty nor clever nor strong enough."

"Enough? For what? For who?"

She bit her lower lip, he always asked her questions that she could not answer. She hated it.

"Why do you ask anyway?" she frowned.

"You have not answered my question."

"Are you interrogating me?"

"You can put it that way if you want to," he replied nonchalantly.

Kagome glared at the taiyoukai, inwardly hoping that a big stone would crash onto his head from nowhere and knock him out. He was more irritating than Souta sometimes and it irked her to no end when the look of indifference did not go away, as if questions were ijust/i questions and nothing else. He had said that she was inquisitive, and she thought that he was equally curious, perhaps even bordering a little on being a busybody.

"And why do you want to know? Why are you always so curious? Does it matter to you then?"

His eyebrows relaxed, she was throwing her tantrum and her voice held that tone of defiance again. It was a good indicator that she was not so frightened of him anymore, "aa."

Her deep brown eyes rounded, "huh?"

He replied solemnly, "yes, it matters to me."

Her lips parted and she blushed. He did not seem one who would put others above him, and that answer made her felt somehow special. He cared about her, and that was more than enough. She had done it, she had somehow wriggled her way into his heart, like Rin. But what about Inuyasha? Did she not love him anymore? What about her family and friends? What had he exactly meant anyway? Perhaps she was like Rin to him? Her eyebrows creased and she shut her eyes.

"Naze? Why do you care? Why did you not leave then? Why did you stay? You could have got purified by her hamaya, you could have got yourself sealed forever. You-"

"Why did you cover me?" he interrupted her.

She fell silent, not knowing how to reply him again. With Inuyasha, this was never a problem. With the observant taiyoukai, her every single word and action was under scrutiny, and sometimes she wondered whether his eyes had magnifying abilities.

"What are you going to do when I recover?" Sesshoumaru finally gotten the damned question out of his mouth.

Kagome paused for a while and replied resolutely, "I will return to Inuyasha and my friends. We need to hunt for the remaining Shikon no kakkera."

He closed his eyes, _yappari..._ "Kagome, what if I do not recover? What if I remain blind for the rest of my life? What if my memory does not return to me?"

Her lips parted at his 'what ifs'. It seemed to be the longest sentence that he had said in a long while. Kagome looked up as he opened his eyes and turned his handsome face to her slowly, his long silver hair straying away from her naked thighs.

"What if I want you to stay with me?"

She blinked, twice. A thousand thoughts and wretched emotions bombarded against her mind and barged through her heart. Her brain could not function anymore, and she simply looked at his expressionless face. His heavy silver bangs were covering his eyes partially, and she wanted to push them away. They obstructed her view of his eyes, and she thought there was something swirling within his clouded irises. She raised her good left hand, and gently parted the silverish curtain with her fingers, careful not to make any physical contact.

He could sense her movements, and instantly caught her wrist with his right hand gently. She let out a gasp and wanted to withdraw, but his grasp was firm and she could see the strong bold maroon stripes that adorned his wrist as they went around it. He wanted to pull her to him, but decided against it and shifted his position nearer to her since she was injured. His hold on her wrist relaxed, his hand slowly traveling up her trembling arm, to her bare shoulder, before he finally wrapped his only right arm around her gently, mindful of her wound. Kagome closed her eyes and leaned onto him, resting her head into the crook of his long neck. They remained in that position for a long while, hearing nothing other than each other's synchronized breathing and the soft cackling of the fire.

Kagome smiled, she admitted to herself that she loved to be in his embrace. Inuyasha had none of the patience nor gentleness that Sesshoumaru had. The few times that he hugged her were rough, sudden, and out of his bursting fierypassion. Not that she did not like it, but they happened because he thought that she almost died, and this made her question about her importance and value in his heart. Inuyasha never hugged her like the way Sesshoumaru did now. It was silent, peaceful and almost loving. Not out of desperation, nor out of passion. She could hear and feel the slow, steady beats of his strong youkai heart, and wondered whether she was inside it. Kagome wished for nothing than time to stop there and then, for eternity and all that she cared.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and ran his fingers down through her soft warm hair, then wrapping his arm around her waist. He rested his chin on her sweet-smelling head and tried to imagine how she looked like. Long wavy hair, eyes that would talk, smooth fair skin. He loved the silence and the peace that they shared. Though no one spoke, but both knew that they were contented, and happy. Truly happy like that. Sesshoumaru asked himself what was so wrong about it, that Kagome seemed to want to run away from it everytime he came near? Was he not better than his half-brother? Was he not enough for her?

"Kagome, stay with me."

She frowned, why did he had to break the silence? Why did he always ask for the impossible? She refused to open her eyes, and continued to play with his long silver hair, twirling it around her fingers. Round and round.

"Kagome."

He could feel her eyelashes brushing against his neck, and her soft sigh. "You don't know what you want," her warm breaths tickled his neck.

He raised his eyebrows, was she saying that he did not know himself well enough?

"You won't think like this, when you remember everything," she continued before he could ask.

His eyebrows dropped to a frown, "and why is that so?"

Kagome smiled bitterly, "you hate me, you hate Inuyasha, you hate ningen."

Sesshoumaru tightened his hold around her, "I know what I want Kagome. Do not doubt this Sesshoumaru."

She buried her face into his neck, not knowing what to say or do anymore. She was not sure whether she could trust his words, not that he was a liar, she was just not certain about their future together. There were more pressing issues on hand, Naraku, Inuyasha, Kikyou and her friends. And what about them then?

"Why do you want me to stay? What do you want me to say?"

It was his turn to sigh, and he seldom did that. He knew that it would not be easy, but he had never imagined that it would be this difficult. Kagome thought too much, and asked for too much. What could he promise her? What did she want from him? Did she want promises of eternal, everlasting love? One that would never sway with changing mountains and bending rivers, nor the four seasons that come and go?

"Kagome, what do you want from me?"

She wanted to cry. All these was too much for her to handle. She knew that she liked him, a lot, but the remaining knots in her heart regarding Inuyasha were not settled yet. She felt as if she was betraying him behind his back, letting Sesshoumaru do things to her that only lovers would. They seemed to ask each other many questions, and it gave her a splitting headache. She knew what she wanted; to be with him, free from the rest of this world if possible. But she knew that it could not be, and she felt a responsibility towards Inuyasha too.

And why did Sesshoumaru wanted her to stay with him? What was his intention? Did he like her? The way she like him? All these were indeed too much for her; Kagome finally broke down and sobbed. She had been going in circles in her mind for so many days. The tunnel was long, and dark. She could see no spark of light, not even the faintest glimmer of it. There was no future for them together at all. It was utterly hopeless.

Sesshoumaru could feel her searing hot tears sliding down his collarbone and onto his chest; her body trembling hard as she tried to swallow her cries. He felt something coiling around his heart, so tight that he almost could not breathe. He hated this feeling, he hated to see her upset and wounded, and he hated more when she could not tell him. Was it so difficult? So terribly hard that she could not say a single word? Could he not help her at all? Was it that impossible for them to be together?

And on top of it, did he like Kagome at all, the way he liked _her_? The coil tightened, and spikes seemed to grow out from it as they pierced, fully intending to draw blood from his heart. At that very moment, he remembered everything about _her_; her face, her body, her voice, the way she moved, the way she laughed. His lips parted at the sudden jolt of memories returning back to him, all revolving around _her_ and no one else. It happened a long time ago, so long that he could not even remember how young he was when he had loved her. He remained motionless while Kagome cried, his mind filled with memories and flashbacks of his past with _her_. Sesshoumaru finally understood why he had almost forgotten her, and why he had tried so hard to erase her from his mind. She had left him, even though she had told him that she loved him, more than herself.

Lies, a pack of lies.

Her love for him could only stretch with the days of his chichi-ue's kingdom, and sustain on the power while it lasted. She was a youkai, one who wanted nothing more than power, security and riches. And he had done every possible thing for her out of his love, entrusting her with every bit of his heart. He was too naive, and innocent. Not wise enough to see through her pretense and her thin wavering affections for him. He could recall the nights that he laid with her, the sunrises that they watched in each other's arms, the lands that they roamed and laughed together. The warmth of her kisses, the way she called his name, the twinkle in her eyes when she teased him. He refused to believe that she did not love him, but the end-result proved him wrong. She had left him for another when his father died, giving him no reason other than a cold parting glance. And he had sent her to her grave personally, along with the other man. For the hurts and shame she had dealt on him.

He thought his heart had bled dry, until he met Kagome. Or till he lost his memories, and the gate that he had placed around his scarred heart. Rin had managed to wander on the outskirts, near enough the high imposing bounds but not in. Whereas Kagome simply melted everything and walked inside, as if nothing had happened.

Sesshoumaru squeezed his eyes shut, _she_ was gone. He had been set free of her, a long time ago. But he was scared, to let another come in. The risks were too high, such an investment was not worthwhile. But all these were pushed away and refuted outright when she stepped into his life. Kagome had taken care of him, even though he was almost deemed as her enemy. He could not remember everything, but he could imagine what had happened if he could personally kill his first love. She had cared for his health, his safety, and worried for his life. She had sacrificed herself willingly when she thought that he could not handle the threat. Was this how she had melted the barriers and gained his trust? Had she unknowingly replaced the once occupied but now empty position in his heart?

Was he prepared to take the risk, again? Was he prepared to let her occupy the throne in his heart? Was he prepared to scale the heights of the emotional hill in his heart, with her?

"Sesshoumaru, I wish to go home," Kagome had stopped crying, her eyes were swollen and she was tired. The excruciating pain from her right shoulder was numbing her mind, she thought.

He nodded his head, they needed time apart. Perhaps he had asked her too early, perhaps she was not ready yet. Perhaps he was not that sure, afterall. Or perhaps, there was no need to make clear of anything at all.

"Aa, I will send you home," Sesshoumaru opened his eyes, the damned coil refusing to leave his heart.

* * *

"Mama, tadaima..." Kagome dragged her dirty yellow backpack on the ground with her left hand as she hobbled painfully and slowly up the curb to her shrine house. It felt good, real good to be back at home. She had not been back for a month, and she wanted to do nothing other than to lie on her own soft pink bed. And not think of the two inu-brothers.

"Kagome! Okaeri!" her mom wiped her hands on the apron hastily and rushed to the door when she heard her daughter's voice. She was finally back from her travels, and she had coincidentally made her favourite food that day, oden. But when she saw her daughter's pale tired face and the bandages around her calf, the smile lines around her eyes vanished.

"Kagome, what happened! You are injured..." she frowned as she took over her yellow bag, her arm seemed to be wounded too.

"Aa, chotto... don't worry, I'm fine!" Kagome tried to give her best cheery smile as she hobbled awkwardly up the stairs to her bedroom. "I'm going to bathe and sleep first, don't wake me up ok?"

Her mother frowned, Kagome was not being herself and she could see through that forced smile immediately. She let out a sigh, Kagome was obnoxiously stubborn, yet strong and independent too. The elder Higurashi comforted herself that if she was back in one piece, then she would be alright. Her daughter was as strong as her mother, she thought to herself and went back to her oden.

Kagome sighed to herself happily as a smile lit up her face. Nothing in Sengoku Jidai could beat the modern convenience of hot water, taps, electricity and soft, soft beds. She lowered herself into the small one-person bathtub and drew her legs up, gently probing the healing wound on her calf. "Jinenji's herbs are really good..."

She let her fingers rest on her right shoulder as her left thumb caressed the wound that Kikyou had gave her. A shudder ran through her spine as she recalled the look of determination in the undead miko's dark eyes. Kagome thought that she had gave up on her soul, until that fateful day at the onsen. She could have lost her precious little life, if not for Sesshoumaru. But then again, she had been so willing to let go of it when Kikyou had aimed for his chest instead.

She shook her head, she was not supposed to think about him. "There'll be a scar..." she fingered the dark-red round swollen wound, inwardly sighing again that she would have another battle momento on her body. She rested her chin on her knees, and stared at the cool green tiles of her bathtub for a long while, pondering over whether she should let Inuyasha know.

But what good would it do? Yet she feared for her life. They were bound to meet her, and would have to work with her eventually. Many a time Kagome had wished for her death, that Kikyou would just disappear from the face of the earth, and return the rest of her soul. And she would end up berating herself for being vicious and selfish.

But was Kikyou not selfish too? She had wanted the death of Inuyasha, she had wanted her dead.

"Still..." Kagome closed her eyes. She was going around in circles again. With Inuyasha, with Sesshoumaru, she seemed to see no ending, nor conclusion to their relationship. She had promised Inuyasha that she would never leave him, while Sesshoumaru had asked her to stay with him. Her heart faltered when she imagined the look of betrayal on Inuyasha's face if she decided to stay with Sesshoumaru. But her heart ialmost/i broke when she thought of his expressionless mask and the cool golden eyes. She could not see his emotions on Sesshoumaru's face, but she knew that he merely chose not to reveal. And that endeared him to her even more.

She was not sure who she like or love by now. Everything was a piece of misty haze. And if she ever tried to search within the haze, it would just turn denser and thicker. Perhaps she should not think so much, and let nature take its course. Perhaps she should forget about everything, and not return to Sengoku Jidai. Perhaps she should just get herself a boyfriend and stay in her time for good, study hard and get a decent job.

"'nee-chan! Denwa!"

Kagome could hear Souta's low gruff voice and yelled back, "aa!" She thanked the call, whoever it was, it had prevented her from dwelling in her never-ending circle of thoughts and from turning into a prune. She hastily dried herself and changed into her home clothes, disregarding the wet drops of water that dripped from her soggy hair. Kagome cursed the existence of stairs as she hopped down on her good leg, from step to step. She hoped that the caller would be one of her friends, someone to take her mind off. Eri would gossip about the latest news of japanese pop celebrities and fashion, Yuka would talk about her never-ending change of boyfriends, and Ayumi would go on non-stop about her botany studies.

Kagome smiled, "Kagome desu!"

"Higurashi! Ureshii na!" the voice from the other end sounded particularly happy.

"Ano... Houjou-kun?" "Hai! I've called so many times! But your family always said that you were out..." She laughed nervously, "eeto... I've been rather busy recently..."

"Can I come over now?" she thought Houjou's voice sounded particularly excited too.

"Now?"

"Aa, I have something to tell you!"

"Sou ka... alright then."

"I'll see you later!"

Before Kagome could reply, he had already ended the call with a click. She really did not want to see nor talk to any guys now, especially Houjou. But the delicious warm smell of oden wafted into her nostrils and all was forgotten as she tried to skip to the kitchen with one leg.

* * *

"Higurashi!" Houjou smiled brightly at Kagome as he stood on the steps of her small house nervously.

"Konbanwa..." Kagome tried to ignore the pain in her shoulder and smiled back.

"Are you unwell again?" he could see the bandages around her leg and that she was leaning heavily on the other.

"Ah... I fell into a drain," she hoped that sounded convincing enough.

The handsome young man frowned a little, "you must take care of yourself Higurashi. I have brought some vitamins and tonics for you."

Kagome thought that she was indeed a good liar, contrary to what _he_ had said, "arigatou Houjou-kun!"

He passed the bottles of vitamin drinks to her and fidgeted, twisting his left ankle around for a good while before he finally popped the question. "Ano... this coming Saturday is my 18th birthday, and my family is throwing a birthday party for me. Would you like to come?"

Kagome's eyes rounded, _so that was his aim..._ She thought hard, perhaps she should go, but then again it was his family organizing the party. She was not his girlfriend, nor intend to be. It would be good not to go, lest confusions arise.

"Um... I might not be free this Saturday. Sumimasen."

She thought she had never seen a more disappointed face before, his eyebrows drooped to the side and he stopped his shuffling, "ja... daijoubu desu! I should have told you earlier!"

Houjou scratched the back of his head and laughed out nervously, trying to hide his disappointment. He had wanted to introduce Kagome to his quiet cousin, who was a few years older than him and still a single. Perhaps he should ask Ayumi then, she seemed like a nice girl too.

"Take care of your health Kagome, maybe next time we can come out again!" Houjou waved his goodbyes and turned on his heels.

Kagome nodded her head with a tired smile, closed the door, and wished that all men would disappear from the face of the earth. As she fell flat-faced onto her pink bed, she thought that pillows and blankets were her best friends. She could feel Buyo spreading and stretching his limbs over her butt, and Kagome smiled to herself as she drifted off to sleep.

Even Buyo.

* * *

A/N: Writing this is almost becoming painful for me. I apologize for the lack of flow. Gosh. Reviews? ) 


	18. Chapter 18

**Chiyo.

* * *

**

**Glossary:**

Chiyo - it means a 'thousand generations'  
sensei - teacher seito - pupil tatakai - fight/duel demo - but gomen nasai - sorry (formal)  
damaru - be silent aniki - elder brother temee - you (singular, very very rude way of addressing someone)  
yakamashii - shut up/noisy nani - what wakaru yo - I understand!  
Kami - God doshiyoo - what should we do?  
yame yo - stop it already!  
dame - no good/don't chikushou - swear word, equivalent to 'fuck' I think houshi - buddhist monk hora - hey!  
mataku - sheesh/gawd Saimyoushou - the poisonous hell's insects that Naraku commands

* * *

**_"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."_**

**- Albert Einstein.  
**

* * *

Naraku smiled gleefully at the youkai before him. She was perfect.

"Chiyo, this shall be your name."

The girl slowly lifted her head, and stared at him blankly with her red crimson eyes as she remained crouched on the ground before him. Wisps of her soft hair caressed her face as a gentle breeze blew from her back, the stark black contrasting with the blood-red in her eyes.

"Chiyo, stand up and fight me. Show me what you have," Naraku took a step backwards, his left hand resting behind his back while his right beckoned her to him, like a sensei to his seito. He watched her, slowly getting up as her short lithe body straightened and stood motionlessly before him, like a well-oiled puppet. Her shoulder-length straight hair framed her small face and the sharp chin; her hawk-like gaze did not shift an inch from Naraku as the blood-red left her eyes and changed into a bright jade green. Her smooth young face devoid of any lines of emotion, held no expression as her eyelashes fluttered a little.

"Tatakai... ka?" her voice was cottony soft, yet held that steely edge to it.

Naraku nodded his head, he would have to be patient with this one. She could prove to be the best creation that he had made, other than her conflicting unstable nature and the emptiness of her mind, due to the accidental combination and blend of the powers from the Shikon no Tama and his own. He had initially tried to pull the powers from the jewel, at its very core in an attempt to extract and internalize all of its essence and forces. He had failed, but not without some success.

Somehow during the complicated process of extraction and internalization, the forces from the Shikon no Tama started to wrap around his own dark powers and almost purified him, enveloping him until he had no choice but to pull out at the last instant. He had escaped unscathed but the wide expansive area around him was leveled, and utterly decimated. And when the smoke had cleared, he saw her, crouching alone in the middle of bare ground with the tainted incompleted Shikon no Tama in her cupped hands.

A combustion between pure and evil; a blend between good and bad. Would there be such a thing within the next thousand years? He thought not.

"Aa," the corners of his mouth twisted upwards. He was eager to test her powers, and her strength. He could feel, sense, and even see the two different powers swirling within her body and soul. The internal conflict that raged within her, yet they somehow remained together, twirling around each other in harmony from time to time. Naraku could not be more proud, and beamed as Chiyo's hair turned into a light shade of leafy green. He was glad that her mind was empty and she had been born without a character. The perfect servant, one who would obey him completely and stay loyal to him without a fault.

"Fight me, do not hold back until I say so."

Chiyo understood, her eyes enlarging excitedly as they changed into a bright hue of royal purple; her hair seemed to be on static and they turned a little stiff as the leaf-green shade disappeared, leaving behind a mass of bright vermillion glaring back at the surprised Naraku. She was like a chameleon, a delightful, superior, powerful chameleon that could be exploited to the fullest.

Without any sound of warning nor noise of movement, Chiyo raised both her hands, weaponless and made the first move.

* * *

Sesshoumaru leaned against the wooden frame of the well and folded his legs, as he listened to the sounds of his surroundings carefully. He could hear nothing alarming nor threatening other than the silly squabble between his ward and his retainer.

"Rin! Stop bothering me!" the kappa-youkai tried to silence the irritating ningen child while keeping his voice as low as possible. The creases in his forehead were so deeply-etched that Rin thought they would never disappear.

"Demo Jaken-sama! Kagome-neesan said that there is something for Rin to learn and to be useful..." she pleaded.

"There is nothing for you to learn! You can never be helpful to Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken got to his feet and decided to take his seat somewhere nearer to his lord, but not too near lest he intruded into his personal private space. Even though his lord had lost his memories, there were old habits that he retained somewhat, to which Jaken did not know whether he should feel happy or disappointed for.

Sesshoumaru still preferred to be alone, not to be interrupted unless necessary, and never did say much about anything. But on the other hand, his temper seemed to have improved a little and he did not seem so easily provoked as before. That was until these few days when Kagome had returned to her 'home'. Sesshoumaru was unusually tensed and edgy; even though he did not show much, Jaken knew it from the occassional fidgeting of his fingers and the slight shuffling of his boots. It was obvious to him that the wretched miko had done this to his lord. She was worse than Rin. Definitely.

"Jaken-sama..." Rin plodded heavily after the wrinkled youkai and tried to grab at the strings that flew from his little black squarish hat. She had to talk to him, he would know what Sesshoumaru-sama needed.

"Go away!" Jaken hissed as he plopped his webbed feet steadily to his lord. He wondered how Kagome returned to her home through the dry well before his train of thoughts was abruptly interrupted by a forceful jerk.

Rin finally managed to wrap her fingers around the dirty black strings and pulled hard, "Jaken-sama!"

Jaken fell back on his back, and he thought he could hear all his bones snapping. "AARRGGHHH! RIN!"

She quickly let go of her fingers and froze, the kappa-youkai was really light at times. "Gomen nasai Jaken-sama!"

Before Jaken could get up, he was once again lying on the ground with a small pebble firmly lodged into the center of his forehead, in between his folds of slimy green skin. Rin leaned forward and looked down, Jaken was lying unconsciously on the ground, with his eyes and mouth wide open. She was not sure whether he was surprised or shocked, and giggled at the inverted image of him.

"Damaru."

Rin clapped both hands over her mouth, which could not conceal her wide shining smile at all, "hai!"

Sesshoumaru tipped his head back, and rested the base of his skull against the ledge of the well. His eyes no longer hurt and his wounds were almost completely healed. He could smell the unusual tangy scent of the magic that this old well held, and from time to time, it made his hairs stand a little. He wondered whether it was some form of portal that only mikos could enter and use. He had carried Kagome himself, jumped into the well, and felt the weight of her body leaving his right arm, as if she had vanished into thin air. He stood there for a moment, until he realized that he could not go with her, and panicked.

What if she did not return? What if she returned and ran into other youkai? And what if, she returned and met Inuyasha and her friends?

All these 'what-ifs' had him sitting by the well, waiting patiently, yet not. He was sure that Kagome would come back to him, at the very least. iShe cares for me/i, this statement ran through his mind at least a hundred times by now, and he was not sure whether he was trying to assure himself of her affection for him, or simply comforting himself that everything would turn out alright.

_What if she does not stay?_

He frowned. When had such a simple question morph into such a big complicated situation? He had thought it was a clear direct request, and the answer would simply be a 'yes' or a 'no'. But Kagome gave him no answer and returned home. leaving him perplexed and frustrated. He had initially thought it wise and good, to have time and space to oneself, and to let her consider. But as the days went by, his faith in himself faltered with the receeding winter snow, and he started to worry and imagined all the different possible scenarios that he might face with her answer. When had he turned into such an impatient and anxious creature? Or was he originally like that even before he lost his memories? And, how many days had passed?

Sesshoumaru shut his lids, and groaned inwardly. He felt horrible, as if his inner soul was split into two different personas. He could feel his heart lurching forth and back, swaying from right to left as he thought of what he would do and say when she returned. It made him giddy and worrisome thoughts bothered his mind constantly, from her well-being to her injuries, from the speculation of her true feelings to the answer that she would eventually give. From what would happen if his sight returned, and even to the possibility of facing Inuyasha and her family. He had racked his brain over her so much that he thought that he simply could not think sensibly nor rationally any further.

Yet the other part of his soul wrestled hard with the former, throwing endless of questions like vicious daggers at him. Why should he worry, and why should he care? Had he no confidence in himself? Had he no regards of his superior youkai-blood and dignity? Had he forgotten about the possible dangers of getting himself hurt, and shamed again? Was he going to follow his father's footsteps?

_How the mighty had fallen,_ it mocked at him relentlessly again and again. Sesshoumaru felt as if his head would split into two too, and had no idea where the last question came from. His memories of his father were vague, yet impressionable at the same time. How could so many opposing emotions and thoughts co-exist in his mind? Did Kagome went through the same thing too?

He dug his claws into the melting snow, into the ground, until dirt lodged itself firmly in his claws. A sudden notion rose to his mind, and he opened his angry golden eyes. He wanted to sink his claws into warm flesh, to feel the hot gush of blood beneath his skin, to hear the rapid throbbing and pattering of heart-beats until it ceases. He could feel the trembling of Toukijin in his obi, and the clattering as it knocked against the dormant Tenseiga by its side. He let out a low soft growl and got to his feet swiftly. The rest of the disturbing thoughts were pushed away instantly, and his now cleared mind could only focus on the desire and goal; the kill.

Rin knelt quietly beside Ah-Un as she watched her lord made a hurried dash to the nearby woods. His sleek tall figure soon disappeared from her eyes and her gaze fell onto the well, wondering when Kagome would come back and join them once again. She knew that Kagome could soothe her lord. Oh, she could do more things to him than to soothe his irate temper.

A sudden screeching noise broke the wintry silence. Rin turned around to see hundreds of alarmed birds taking flight into the skies. A small smile lit her face as she leaned against the draconic beast and smoothed her small hands over its dirty scaly body, "Sesshoumaru-sama would feel better later..."

* * *

He locked his gaze on the angry hanyou and smiled. Inuyasha was far more entertaining than his aniki, and much safer to play with too.

"Byakuya! Temee..." Inuyasha brandished out the transformed fang and wrapped both his clawed hands over the hilt tightly. An equally agitated Sango whipped out her Hiraikotsu and shoved the edge of it into the soft ground, while Kirara transformed and stood obediently beside her owner. Shippou tried his best to squeeze his body into Miroku's robes, only to earn a stern look from the houshi, "Shippou, I don't think you should do this right now."

The kitsune's bright emerald eyes widened as he pleaded silently. Miroku shook his head and wished that Kagome would be here to allay his fears, not that they were unfounded. "Shippou, we need your eyes now you know."

"Aa! Don't be lazy you rut!" Inuyasha yelled, his eyes not leaving the illusionist youkai before him.

One corner of his mouth went up in a confident smile, and Byakuya folded his hands lazily, "aa aa. Don't even blink!"

"Yakamashii!" the incited hanyou growled and slammed Tessaiga hard, "Kaze no Kizu!"

Byakuya's black eyes rounded as he saw lumps of half-melted snow tossed into the air and five streaks of blinding yellow light speeding angrily towards him. Inuyasha definitely did not had the patience nor the composed demeanor that Sesshoumaru displayed. "_What an impatient bastard..."_

"Nani!" Sango took up Hiraikotsu and Miroku clutched tightly at the rosary beads over his Kazaana, both fully prepared to attack at the slightest movement. "It's an illusion," Shippou stared at the shredded pieces of a lotus flower strewn all over the ground.

"Wakaru yo! Do you have anything else useful to say!" Inuyasha grumbled as he took a few steps forward. Byakuya seemed to have vanished completely, leaving behind no traces of his foul stench and the air was as still as before. Perhaps a little too still. The air seemed to close in on them, and it was suddenly heavy with a light thready mist.

"Inuyasha, something is not right," Miroku scanned his dark surroundings carefully as he turned his head around. Sango nodded her head and the three of them had their backs facing each other while Shippou tried not to shake in the center. It was an awful situation. He knew that Byakuya was a master of illusions, and even though he descended from the line of the great kitsune, he was too young and unskilled in it to be of any help to his friends. And the worst thing was Kagome was not there with them, somehow or the other, Shippou knew that she would be able to make him feel better, and make all of them feel more confident. Kagome always held that light of hope in her eyes, no matter what happened.

"Aa," the hanyou gritted his teeth, his ears twitched as he listened hard. For what seemed like a long while, he caught something, a faint faraway noise. His black eyebrows dipped to the center as he strained to hear it. "Something is coming..."

Miroku nodded his head and narrowed his violet eyes, he could feel it too, but not put a finger to it. He was not terrified, yet not comforted too. He glanced to his side and saw that Sango was as tensed as she could be in a battle. They had never really fought Byakuya before and he knew that Inuyasha and Sango were a little worried, not knowing the true potential nor pitfalls of his attacks and defenses. Miroku's eyes darted back to the front and frowned a little, he shared the same worry with them, and wondered what was the purpose of his sudden 'visit'. Had Naraku decided to eliminate them? Or was this merely another attack to gauge Inuyasha's skills or the strength of them?

The sounds grew louder and more insistent, until Inuyasha finally realized what they were.

"Horses! Tons of them coming towards us!"

Shippou trembled, _horses?_ Was this what Byakuya was doing all along while he hid among the shadows of the woods? He covered his head with his paws and crouched on the ground, not sure what would happen to him now that Kagome was not there to protect him. He could feel the three pairs of feet shuffling back towards him, and Kirara growled defensively.

"Kami!" Sango cried out as she saw hundreds of strong fierce-looking horses galloping towards them, as if they were running for their lives. Miroku's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, the black and brown horses were ibig/i, and he thought that they were not meant for leisure riding nor farming, but more for wars. The horses seem to fly as they rushed towards them, the whole woods was suddenly filled with the frantic clippetty and cloppetty of hooves and their high angry neighing. Kirara growled louder and Shippou hopped up onto the fire-neko, deciding to take shelter on her back.

"Miroku! These horses are not normal!" Inuyasha shouted as he took a step back, soon the three of them were back-to-back and each could feel the tensed rigid muscles of another. Loud _pruff_ noises resounded through the trapped space, and Sango thought that she could see smoke coming out from their nostrils.

"Inuyasha! They are not real!" Shippou screamed as loudly as he could, the illusionary horses were more than big, they were gigantic and their flying mane seemed more like flames of a bright orange fire. He could see that they were actually a little translucent, but because they were so many of them, the blending and mashing of their long bodies made it hard for them to tell whether they were solid or not.

"They are rounding us up!" Miroku answered and tried hard to think of a solution. The horses were surrounding them, but not attacking nor running them down. But it was still an intimidating sight and Miroku once again wondered why Byakuya had sent for them. Horses were not exactly something fearful, and he could detect no youki from these four-legged animals.

"Doshiyoo!" Sango's desperate cries reached their ears and before they knew it, she had executed the first attack.

"Hiraikotsu!" The large youkai-bone boomerang swung out from her right hand as she ran forward and took out her katana with her left.

"Sango!" Miroku dashed forward, not wanting to leave her alone and stood by her side, pulling back the rosary beads, "Kazaana!"

Inuyasha and Shippou could see the bone boomerang slicing through the sleek muscled bodies of the horses, but there was no blood nor torn flesh; Miroku's Kazaana did not seem to do anything other than to suck in debris and snow.

"AARGH!" Inuyasha yelled out in frustration as he swiped Tessaiga at the horses.

Sango caught hold of her boomerang while Miroku closed up his Kazaana. The horses kicked their front legs up angrily and their long high neighing sounds almost burst their eardrums. Inuyasha sheathed Tessaiga back into its saya and covered his ears, Sango and Shippou did the same while Miroku winced. Before they could signal to each other amidst the chaos, the horses raised themselves up on their hind hooves and kicked hard with their front legs high up in the air again. The group almost stumbled back if not for the horses behind them. Inuyasha could not take it anymore and brandished out the transformed fang. Anymore of these ghost-like apparitions and he would go crazy.

"Dame-" Miroku reached out a hand.

"Kaze no-" Inuyasha yelled at the top of his voice.

All of a sudden, the tight band of horses started to disperse and ran for them. Four pair of eyes widened in confusion and ducked, not knowing whether illusionary horses could send real attacks or not. "Miroku! Inuyasha! Sango!" Shippou yelled as he tried to look for his friends while Kirara took him up into the air. Inuyasha leaped as high as he could and realized that the horses ran through Miroku and Sango, and soon vanished into thin air afterwards as if they were never there.

When the four of them were on ground again, they hunched their backs and panted hard as they tried to catch their breath. None had any idea what was going on in Byakuya's mind and Inuyasha cursed loudly, "is that bastard playing with us!"

"Ah! It seems so isn't it!" Miroku answered in between his breaths and looked to his far right at Sango.

"He's acting like a child! Whatever is he thinking!" she frowned and leaned against Hiraikotsu.

Before they knew it, sharp small knives seemed to appear from nowhere and were flying from all sides at them.

"Chikushou!" the hanyou swore. They were now scattered and Inuyasha realized that he was unable to block the dangerous weapons that Byakuya was hurling from the shadows for his friends. _So that was his motive! Fucking bastard!_

Miroku had hid himself behind Sango, who was using her bone boomerang to block the knives. Kirara took to the air and ducked from side to side, while Shippou thanked his ancestors that he had had the luck to take refuge with the fire-neko. Inuyasha swung Tessaiga around wildly, knocking off the angry mass of flying knives while Miroku threw his ofuda around desperately, hoping to pin-point the location of the damned youkai.

"Houshi-sama!" Sango cried out again as the man behind her let out a grunt and slumped to the ground. A short knife was lodged firmly at the side of his abdomen and blood was gushing out fast. She wanted to check on him, but had to hold onto Hiraikotsu before the both of them became dart-boards. "Inuyasha! He's hurt!"

Without another word or care in his mind, Inuyasha leaped towards Sango and spun around, sending multiples of his Kaze no Kizu around them at the woods, fully intent to drive Byakuya out from his hiding place.

"Hora!" Shippou pointed to his front, he could see a peek of blue and black kimono from the illusionist youkai who was resting snugly amidst the thick conifers.

"So there you are!" Inuyasha's smirk grew wider, "Kaze no Kizu!"

Byakuya widened his eyes, he was supposed to be invisible, but somehow the insignificant kitsune had actually seen him. There was no room for further thoughts and he leapt away as fast as he could before the energy from the hanyou's blade reached him. He had only wanted to play with them, since Kanna had specifically told him that Inuyasha was not to be harmed. But he had to make it look as real as possible at the very least, he was sure that there was one or two of the damned Saimyoushou hovering near them. As he rode on his paper crane away into the skies, he could only curse both Kanna and Naraku. He could have gotten himself killed if he was not fast enough. And they were hiding somewhere again.

"Inuyasha! This is not the end! I shall visit you soon!" Byakuya's voice rolled through the air as the knives dropped lifelessly to the floor with a noisy clash.

Inuyasha stared at the skies and the fleeing crane, he wanted to go after Byakuya, not understanding why he had not persisted in the battle. But a low groan behind him broke his train of thoughts and he turned.

"Houshi-sama..." Sango looked worriedly at Miroku, his black robes were drenched in blood and his face and lips were awfully pale. She squeezed his hand tight, and hoped that would somehow make his pain go away.

"Sango..." Miroku tried to smile, wondering whether that knife had busted any of his internal organs, and at the same time whether he had enough strength to reach for her butt. "Don't worry... daijoubu desu..."

"Miroku, don't die on me now!" Inuyasha bent down and heaved him onto Kirara's back. The houshi could only grimace before he blacked out from the loss of blood. "Sango, let's get him back to Kaede now," Shippou thought that the wound looked real deep and nasty despite Miroku's smile.

Sango nodded her head weakly.

* * *

"Kanna, having a good time here?" Byakuya landed with a small thud beside the nihility youkai as the paper crane burst into flames. Kanna lifted her face and looked at him, she did not appreciate sarcasm. 

"Is he safe?" her soft hollow voice almost died in the silence.

"Mataku... all you can ask is about his welfare? I was almost killed!" he frowned and folded his arms crossly. Kanna was definitely not a good partner nor accomplice.

She turned her head away, feeling relieved that Byakuya had not harmed Inuyasha. She could sense no Saimyoushou near her, and replied softly, "he is important to us, to bring down Naraku."

His black eyes rounded, were there information that was not disclosed to him but only to her? He sighed inwardly at Naraku's favouritism, and imagined the pleasure that he would derive from stabbing through Naraku's heart with his long katana. "Kanna, do you want to tell me what is going on here? I do not want to die ignorant you know."

There was a long pause.

"Come, look into the mirror," Kanna did not even turn her face as she stared into her youkai reflection. Byakuya hunched his back and looked curiously into her multi-purpose mirror, and thought to himself what he would give to have a weapon like that. As their reflections slowly fade away, his jaw dropped at the new images that appeared. The long silver hair was unmistakable.

He frowned, he would have to make his brains work faster and harder.

* * *

A/N: And now my plot slowly unfolds... you will get to see more action. But I really hate to write battles. And I just realized that Chiyo seemed awfully close to Selestia's 'Kagome' in her fic of "The Edge of Heaven". I swear that I wasn't thinking about that when I wrote Chiyo. She has a different purpose in my fic though. So Selestia if you are reading this, my apologies! (Although I'll be ever so happy if you see this since I admire your writing so much!)

And the above scene looks a little.. like ninja? Go Naruto! Hahaha...


	19. Chapter 19

**Say It.

* * *

**

**Glossary**

baka - idiot yoshi - alright!  
onegai - please mada - not yet okiru - wake up daijoubu desu ka? - are you alright/fine?  
sou ka - i see/so that is it osoi - you are late (in this context)  
nani o shite iru - what are you doing?  
hanashite - let me go!  
gomen - sorry (casual)  
hakama - pleated pants shiranai - I don't know

* * *

**_"Love me love me, say that you love me  
fool me fool me, go on and fool me  
love me love me, pretend that you love me  
leave me leave me, just say that you need me."_**

-** Lyrics from "Lovefool", by The Cardigans.

* * *

**

Kagome turned to her side and stared at her pink bolster. Her eyes wandered aimlessly around her bedroom; pink walls, pink ceiling, pink bedsheets, pink pillow, pink rug, pink mousepad, pink pyjamas and her pink furry slippers. She suddenly felt very overwhelmed and disgusted by the girly colour, as if her room was dipped in a bucket of pink paint, or washed with it. She mentally made a note to herself that she would change all of them today. She did not think that Sesshoumaru would like someone who was into of all colours, pink.

She was not really sure why she had not bothered herself with her room before either. Perhaps she wanted to keep a part of her youth and innocence with her. Perhaps it reminded her of the way Inuyasha would cast a disdainful look at her pink bedsheets, or some of his scathing remarks about the colour. Perhaps she wanted to keep the memories of them together in her bedroom; it was afterall the only time that they were truly together alone, far from the worries and threats of Sengoku Jidai. She recalled scolding him for leaving his dirty footprints on her tatami-covered floor, him sleeping soundly and peacefully on her bed while hugging Tessaiga tightly to himself, and him kicking Buyo off the bed when the cat decided to go into one of its playful bouts.

Kagome smiled dreamily to herself, sat up and rubbed her crusty eyes. The warm sunlight flooded in through the opened window and the fresh cold morning air gave her a peaceful feeling, which was something she had not had the luxury of for a long, long while. Winter was not as cold as before, and she wondered whether it was the same where he was.

"Baka, stop thinking about him!" she chided herself and decided that she would revamp her room before going back to face him. In a dazed hurry, Kagome rummaged through her wardrobes and drawers, her mother's room and Souta's room, and came back with a huge tall pile of stuff. Within an hour, there was not a single pink thing in her room other than her slippers and the walls. She dumped the pink stuff into a big laundry basket and sat on her chair, taking a breather as she brushed a moist stray lock of tousled hair away from her face.

"Yoshi!" Kagome smiled, she had finally stopped procrastinating after all these years and changed her room. Her bedsheets were blue, her pillows and bolsters were sea-green, her rug was black with colourful Gundam robots, and she hoped that Souta would not kill her for stealing his favourite rug. She would get another one, but for now, this would do. Looking at the mass of blues and greens relaxed her greatly, and she wondered for how long she had not notice the change in herself.

_Is it that long?_ she mused to herself as she took a hair band and tied her hair up into a ponytail. Disregarding the beads of perspiration all over her body, she plopped herself face down onto the new sheets, and inhaled deeply. She could smell the clean scent of washing powder, and the soft powdery womanly scent of her mother. Kagome closed her eyes and smiled lazily, wondering again whether Sesshoumaru would mind her scent on his furry pelt.

She had dreamt of him again, continuously without fail for three straight nights. Each time she would see herself in a tight lover's embrace with him, and she could hear his warm breathing, smell his strong masculine scent and feel his firm chest heaving up and down. But he would always tell her firmly that he was not Hauru, and she was not Sophie. Then suddenly, he would slip away sadly and fade into the darkness around them. And she would wake up, not understanding why that dream had occurred.

She had tried, and fought hard not to think about him. But she had to confess that she had failed terribly, other than the times when her mother prepared delicious dishes for her. Sesshoumaru was on her mind, every hour, minute and second. He was always lurking somewhere behind in her brain, and she thought it silly to berate herself about it. She simply had no control over her thoughts about him, and they were a hundred times stronger, or worser than she had missed Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha..." the name rolled off her tongue softly. She missed Inuyasha too, and wondered what he was doing now. A smile crept up her face when his scowling face appeared in her mind. He was always so boyish, always so angry, always so edgy, always so lovable. Sesshoumaru was totally different. He was always so strong, so silent, so composed and so... deadly.

Kagome sighed loudly to herself, and recalled his question, _"Kagome, what do you want from me?"_

"What do I want from you? I want you to tell me that you love me, baka," she mumbled to herself and rolled over to lie on her back, pulling the bolster up to her and imagined that it was his furry pelt. Yes, she wanted him to tell her that he love her. But did she love him?

What about Inuyasha?

Kagome thought for a long long while as she stared at her pink ceiling.

It was time to stop going in circles. It was really tiring and frustrating. She did not like pink anymore, and neither could she continue to love Inuyasha anymore now that Sesshoumaru had invaded her heart. She did not want to tie herself down with chains of responsibility or loyalty anymore. Inuyasha had never even claimed her, like Kouga did. She would go with her heart, and not think anymore, until Sesshoumaru recovered. Then, perhaps then, she would make a choice. But until then, she would not force herself to think anymore.

He wanted her to stay with him, and she knew that from the bottom of her heart she wanted to too.  
She knew that he liked her, although she was not sure whether he knew that himself.  
And she wanted to love him, and him to love her back. Whether that was a naive and childish goal, she would leave that to Fate.

Kagome smiled. For the first time, her heart was as free and as light as the speckled sparrow that landed on the sill of her opened window.

* * *

"Houshi-sama..." Sango called out to Miroku gently. He was still unconscious, and his forehead was incredibly hot. His eyebrows were creased in a deep frown, and his pale lips were slightly parted. Sango knew that he was in pain, and hoped that there was no poison smeared on that wretched knife. She would personally hunt Byakuya down to the ends of the earth if Miroku died.

"Sango, he'll be alright. He'll just need to pull through this stage," Kaede fixed her good eye on the young man and prayed that he would really be alright. They could not be sure whether any of his internal organs was punctured, and there was nothing that they could do until he wakes up.

"Don't worry Sango, Miroku will be fine. He has sucked in so much poison from Saimyoushou and each time he recovers!" Shippou tried to comfort his taijiya friend and gave his best smile.

"Keh! He'll just grope for your butt later if you are not careful!" Inuyasha tried to comfort in his own way too, but it went unappreciated as Sango swung Hiraikotsu at his head and Shippou bit hard on his leg.

"AWWW!" The hanyou clutched at his pained head and tried to shake off the kitsune, while Kaede dragged him out of the hut with amazing old granny's strength, inwardly wishing that Kagome would yell out 'osuwari' at that very moment.

Sango waited until they were out, and reached a hand out to brush away his moist hair. She knew that what Shippou said was right, but she still could not help herself and to worry for his health. It was true that Miroku had recovered everytimefrom Saimyoushou's poison, but she knew that he teetered on the edge of Hell's entrance each time when the poison attacked his body. Sooner one day or later, she knew that his weakened body would give out and up, and he would leave her for good. There was only so much that a person can take, with or without Kazaana.

She fingered his tiny ponytail and smiled bitterly to herself. She liked it a lot, and thought that it looked good on him. But she never had the guts and courage to tell him face to face. He was always so flirtatious, always so carefree, that she was afraid to confess her love for him outright. Somewhere in her heart, she knew that he loved her too. But they kept it to themselves, other than revealing a little from time to time, perhaps it was a form of security for each other. They have so much on their hands to deal with, so many ghosts in their minds to banish, and so many things to tell each other; that it was sometimes impossible to even try to say.

"I like your hair, do you know?" Sango whispered as the faint shafts of morning sun shone on his pale perspiring face. She could see the faint lines of worry around the corners of his eyes, on his forehead, and wondered how strong he had been all along, for the group and for her.

"Onegai, don't die now. Don't leave me yet," she laid her head on his unhurt chest gently and cried softly. She loved him as much as she loved Kohaku, and she was so afraid that the two most important men in her life would leave her alone in this world. One was her first true love, the other was her only blood-brother. Somehow Sango knew that everything was coming to an end, even though she could not explain it. But the dreaded feeling was coming closer to closer, and she was frightened. That Miroku would die before her, that Kohaku would leave her kin-less, that she had no one to look to and live for. She wanted to establish a family with Miroku too, to bear him a dozen children and to see his naughty-yet-innocent smile every morning. She could remember how her heart burst and leapt with joy when he told her that he would marry her when everything was over and done with. And popped the question of asking her to bear his children. A dozen of them.

Sango was frightened, that none of this would happen. Her fingers clutched desperately at his deep purple sash as her tears wet his robes, "Miroku... mada... you promised..." If he were to leave her there and then, she did not know what she would do with her life. Sango knew that she was not strong at all, opposed to what Kagome and Inuyasha thought of her. She was ridiculously weak and dependent, on her only shaking will and on Miroku. He was her saving grace. He was her light at the end of the tunnel. He was the wings that could help her soar to the air.

"Miroku... okiru..." she sniffed hard. If only he would open his lids, if only she could see his gentle violet irises, then all of her fear would be banished to the darkest depths of Hell.

A weak smile appeared on his face. Oh how he loved to feign unconsciousness! To be honest, he was much weakened, and in great pain from the wound. But he knew that Sango would without fail reveal her true feelings and thoughts everytime in such situations, and to hear his name on her tongue was the greatest gift that she could give him now. Sango would always address him formally, and he wished that someday she would let go of her reservations and called out to him lovingly, like the way she did now.

He draped a heavy arm over her back and rested his palm over her head, "Sango..." Oh how lovely was her name too.

Sango jumped up with a jolt and brushed away her tears, blushing hard and hoped that he had not heard any of her ramblings. She would die from embarassment. "Daijoubu desu ka?"

His smile grew wider despite that her warmth left his cold body, her eyes were red and swollen, and her long straight hair was tousled in a sexy way. He wished that he could comb her hair, "aa, I think so. How long have I slept?"

She hurriedly smoothed her hair and replied, "three days."

"Sou ka... are you well then?" he asked.

Sango nodded her head and turned away, "I'll get you some water houshi-sama."

Miroku's smile disappeared and he quickly grabbed for her wrist, "Sango."

The blushing taijiya's eyes widened at his grab, and turned around, "houshi-sama..."

Miroku frowned a little, she was being formal again. He wanted to tell her that he had heard every of her words, and knew what was going through in her mind. He probably understood her better than she knew him. And he longed to hear her call him by his name again, she had such sweet voice when she was not battling.

"Sango, I will not break my promise," he looked solemnly into her dark brown eyes.

Her eyelashes fluttered a little, and the blush deepened as her soft pink lips parted. After what seemed like a long while, Sango finally smiled, "I'll get you some water."

He smiled too, and let go of her wrist. And inwardly cursed himself for not going for her soft butt just now. Such pleasures could wait, he comforted himself as he closed his eyes and imagined things that were forbidden to him.

* * *

"Kagome-neesan!" Rin squealed happily when she saw fingers holding tightly onto the ledge of the well and the tip of her familiar dark bow jutting out. She ran forward and circled both her hands around Kagome's wrist, hoping to lend a helping hand when she felt another familiar presence suddenly appearing beside her.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin and Jaken both greeted happily. The little one knew that her lord would be happy to see Kagome back, and before she could say more, his strong arm pulled Kagome up and the miko was stunned with the force he had used. She thought that it was ialmost/i desperate as her feet landed on the ground with a soft thud. She let out a scowl and rubbed her wrist a little, "do you have to be that forceful?"

Sesshoumaru heard her irritated question and frowned hard. He had thought that by satisfying the crave to kill, he would feel less frustrated and confused. But after he had almost wiped out the youkai in Inuyasha's woods, he realized that his heart and mind were still thinking about her. 'Seeing' her in flesh and blood now made his blood boil, for unknown reasons.

"Osoi," his reply was cutting and the tone sounded angry.

Kagome rolled her eyes, she had hoped to come back all smiling and happy but to be greeted by him in such a way was not what she had expected. She turned to Rin and rummaged through her backbag, fishing out a bar of chocolate and a lollipop, "Rin, for you."

Before she could pass the candies to Rin, she felt his arm going around her waist and before she knew it, she was taken high up into the air. For a moment she could not breathe and when her vision cleared, she was looking down at an irritated Jaken waving Nintoujou at them and a smiling Rin, who was squatting down to pick up her fallen presents. Kagome realized that Sesshoumaru was flying, and it then dawned on her that he had regained his usage of his youki-cloud.

"Nani o shite iru! Hanashite!" Kagome kicked hard, angry that he had just snatched her away without her permission, and in such an ungraceful and unromantic way. This was not the welcome that she had envisioned, which was more or less of a heartfelt smile, a tight hug and perhaps, a long kiss.

"Do you want to fall to your death then?" his voice was cold and low, reminding Kagome of his old-self.

Kagome gulped, _has he remembered?_ She hoped that he was not bringing her to some desolated place to shred her into pieces and then dissolve her body with his poison. She would like Inuyasha to be able to recognize her body at least.

"How did you do this?" she asked weakly and thought that she was getting a little too giddy from the position that she was in now, with her stomach bent over his arm like a rag-doll and her hands clutching tightly to the straps of her backpack.

But he did not answer her. He had just discovered that he could now channel and control his youki when he was ruthlessly pulling out the hearts from youkai, and it surprised him how easy and effortless it was, yet he could not remember till then. He was in no mood to answer her never-ending questions, he wanted to soothe and calm his raging blood. He wanted to be near her, with no one else around to disturb them at all.

Kagome shut her eyes tight, the fast descent made her nauseous, and she really did not want to throw up her breakfast from the sky. _That's littering,_ she tried to joke to herself. She could not understand why Sesshoumaru was so angry, so hurried, and so disturbed. It was unlike him, to lose his cool and she wondered what had happened or went wrong for him to behave as such. When she felt her feet touching ground again, she was so glad that she released her death-grip over her backpack and remained bent over his arm.

Without a word, Sesshoumaru spun Kagome around and pulled her to his chest abruptly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as tight as he could. Kagome for once thought that he was trying to kill her by suffocation and choked as she struggled in vain, "can't... breathe... tight..."

He let out a soft sigh and loosened his grip, humans were so fragile and weak. He buried his face into her hair and inhaled deeply, oh how he had missed her scent. That familiar sweetish summery scent that warmed his insides, making his heart flutter just ia bit/i. She was real, standing before him, in his embrace. He could feel her pounding heart against his ribcage, her ragged breathing and her soft warm body flushed straight against his torso. He had missed her so much, so very much that he thought that he would go crazy. He could not even count how many days since she returned, but it did not matter. She was now with him and that was all that he wanted.

Kagome frowned, she was still angry, albeit a bit relieved that he had not sought to kill her but merely to hug her. She surmised that he had missed her from his hungry crashing hug, and that being gentle to ladies was probably not in his youkai dictionary. But when he did not let go of her after a long while, her anger receded and she closed her eyes, leaning slightly against his beating heart. She had missed him terribly too, and had so much to tell him. She wanted to let him know that she had changed her bedsheets, that she had rejected Houjou again, that she would let go of her reservations and not think so much when she was with him, and that she really liked him a lot, a lot.

But now that he was hugging her so tightly and desperately, she could not help but to smile a little. Sesshoumaru did like her a lot too, whether he knew it or not. And it was nice, to be in his arms again. She had hungered so much for his prescence, for his hug, for his sarcasm when she was all alone in Tokyo and in her bedroom. No amount of her mother's oden, her grandfather's lame jokes and Souta's boyish smiles could relieve her aching desire for him. She wanted so much to touch his face, to run her fingers through his silky hair, to kiss his lips, to trace his markings, to smell him and to hold him. Like the way he was holding her now.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and tightened her hold, pressing her cheek into his firm chest and smiled happily. "Sesshoumaru?"

"Hn."

"Did you miss me?"

There was a long pause, before he finally slowly let out a grunt. Her smile grew wider, she recognized that deep sound.

"I missed you too, a lot," Kagome rubbed her cheek against his chest, inwardly thanking Kami that there was no spiky armour around him.

His eyes flew open, Kagome was admitting her feelings to him. Had she thought through carefully? Had she reached a conclusion and answer?

"You went away for so long," he could not help but to say it out. He felt wretched and confused, like a little child deprived of his long-awaited gift.

"I need to see my mother, and my brother... gomen," she apologized and played with his hair, curling the ends of it into her palms.

"Hn," he grunted again.

"Say you miss me," her eyes remained shut as she tickled herself with his hair. She had to put a stop to this game, even if it would end eventually when she return back to Inuyasha and her friends. When he did not respond, she pouted and pulled away slightly, looking up into his handsome face. The sun was behind him, and she could not see his face properly other than his eyes. The same usual stark golden irises gave her a jolted feeling again, now that her chest was pressed against him so tightly. There was a rawness in his eyes, as he looked back into her deep brown eyes. She knew that he could not see her, and she waited. His lips parted, but nothing came out.

"Say you miss me," Kagome insisted again. She wanted to hear him say that, to hear him say her name. She was desperate for it too, and hung onto his waist tightly, clenching her fingers around his top as she looked deploringly into his raw hungry eyes. His lips moved a little after a long while, and Kagome was almost on the verge of tears. Was it so hard to admit that he missed her? Was it so hard to admit that he liked her too? Was it so hard to tell her that he wanted her, as much as she wanted him?

"Say it, say you miss me. If not, I'll... I'll..." her voice trailed off, she would really cry if he did not say.

Sesshoumaru frowned hard, it was worse than thinking, harder than killing, and more torturous than the pain in his eyes that he had dealt with. She was asking him to say it, and now she was threatening him. He had so much that he wanted to tell her, but everything seemed choked in his chest and the words died in his throat before they could come out. His blood was raging again, seeming to travel in opposite directions and clashing with each other.

"I'll... I'll make you regret it!" she bit her lower lip hard, to such an extent that she drew blood.

His eyes widened at her issued threat. What would she do, to make him regret? Her temper was so fiery and volatile, that it frightened him for a moment. Emotions and words swirled around in his mind, slowly piecing together as he opened his mouth again. Kagome thought that she would go mad, she could see Sesshoumaru struggling with himself, yet he was so stubborn, to say it out. She gathered a small amount of her ki to her hands, burning him slightly at the sides and took the opportunity to slip away.

"Kagome! I... I like you," he blurted out desperately as he winced in pain and caught hold of her arm, pulling her back forcefully and hugging her so tightly as if he was afraid that she would escape from him. He could not have her away from him, again.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. It was really too much. Kagome smiled, and then laughed out loud. He had finally said it out loud, he had finally admitted to her and himself, he had finally told her. She, a ningen, had forced a taiyoukai to admit his emotions. Was that not a notable accomplishment?

Sesshoumaru frowned at her girlish laughter, was he being mocked? Was she taking advantage of his confusion and tricking him to say it out? Was she-

Kagome tip-toed and pressed her lips firmly against his down-turned mouth, as she tried to wrap her arms around his neck. He was really too tall for her, she mused to herself. His eyes widened at her sudden kiss, and he could feel her falling and slipping down. Before she could steady herself on her toes again, he pulled her up and fell onto the ground with her on him. Kagome was shocked and for a moment thought that her bones might snap. But his lips captured hers in a searing hot hungry kiss and all was forgotten as she tried to return it as much as possible.

His hands travelled up and down her body, round the curves and into the dips. Her long soft hair was cushioning his neck as she kissed him as hard as he did. Their passionate kiss continued for as long as both could endure, until she had to pull away for air. Heat rose to their faces as they stared at each other hungrily for a moment, before Kagome reached up, using her forefinger and traced the outline of the dark blue crescent moon on his forehead, then down to the maroon stripes across his cheeks. She could feel the soft cartilage under his nose, and the feathery softness of his lips.

_He is so beautiful,_ she thought to herself while Sesshoumaru's hand rubbed her neck sensually. Kagome closed her eyes, it was definitely good to be in his embrace again. He did things to her that no one did, and things that she had never thought of. Her mind was swimming in his caresses, his fingers were like hot flaming torches as they travelled down her thick sweater and went inside.

She let out a soft moan, she could feel his fingers rubbing underneath her breasts, near her wired bra. Sesshoumaru frowned a little at the obstrusive contraption around her chest. His fingers moved up, and he could feel her soft round mounds and taut nipples underneath the thin fabric of the contraption. He cursed inwardly for his lack of sight and slid his hand in between the valley of her breasts

"What is that?" his voice was low and husky, and it sent shivers down her spine.

She giggled a little as his fingers moved to circle around her left nipple, sending another round of shivers down her body. "That... is a .. bra..." she could not speak properly, and thought that her speech sounded slurred.

"Hn," he grunted and flipped her over, carefully slicing her sweater into two halves and continued to grope his way around her chest, inwardly wondering how the damned contraption would look like and what purpose did it serve. Her eyes rolled up in pleasure, she knew that he was curious about her bra, but the way his hand was roughly moving across her breasts produced the desired effect that she had hungered for. She promptly pushed him away, unbuttoned the shirt shakily with her fingers and whispered, "I want to feel you."

Sesshoumaru raised one of his eyebrow, her voice was different, and he trembled a little, not knowing whether that was out of excitement or nervousness. Was Kagome prepared to give herself to him, now? Did she know what she was saying, and doing to him at the same time?

"Kagome," his voice was stern and solemn. But the deep aching hunger that coursed through her veins and body, became more intense when he spoke. She did not know that his voice could be so sexy, and it aroused her further.

"Onegai," she finally managed to pull the shirt away and could see his lean firm chest, his well-worked out muscles, the stub at his left arm and his fair smooth unblemished skin. She longed to feel him, naked, his searing warmth against her chest, his hardness against her. His pale lips parted at her request, he could feel himself getting warm and hard, very hard.

"Kagome..." His hakamas was jerked down, and he fought every monstrous urge to take her wildly, to toss her around, to plunge into her like never before. He had not laid with a female for so long, and her sudden ambiguous request was driving his mind to the edges.

"Just this once, I want to feel you," Kagome almost pleaded as her hands slid down his strong muscled thighs. She wanted to see every part of him, to feel every part that moved with his graceful body, to just be with him. Sesshoumaru decided that it was now or never, to claim her first, and she would probably stay with him, if that happened.

"Kagome..." he called out her name again, he could feel his erection rubbing against her naked thighs as Kagome slid off her skirt and unhooked her bra from the front. Sesshoumaru pressed down against her, careful not to put his whole weight on her lest he crushes her. Upon the sizzling contact of skin to skin, both hissed softly at the heat. She could feel his hotness on her body, and his hardness pressing against her thighs. It gave her a wondrous floaty feeling, and the hungry ache seemed to move and consolidate at the center of her privates, inside the entrance of her core. She shifted and squirmed a little, wondering how it would feel like if it was ithat/i pressing against her moist folds. No amount of sex education would be able to give her an experience, that's what her friends had told her.

"Mada," he whispered huskily to her ear and kissed her ear, sucking on her ear-lobe gently for a while before moving his lips down to hers. They kissed for a long while as his hand massaged her breasts firmly, giving the hardened nipples a soft knead every now and then. Kagome thought that she would explode, as she arched her responsive body up to his touches. She had never knew that she would react like this, like a hungry wanton slut. But the frightening thing was that she did not mind at all. She knew that she wanted him, and he wanted her too. Inuyasha would never do this to her, and neither did she want him. The only person she wanted was Sesshoumaru, and no one else.

"I think... I love you," Kagome spoke through her ragged breathing as he wrapped his mouth over her nipple. He paused for a while upon her statement, and thought he could almost see stars in his mind, and that his heart might really burst. Kagome had finally told him that she loved him, and not Inuyasha. It was him, Sesshoumaru the taiyoukai, him, him, and him. Not Inuyasha, not the hanyou, not his half-brother. Not anyone else, but him.

"Hn," his eyes glazed and he teased the other free nipple while he continued to suck hard on the right bud. All that went through his mind was that Kagome loved him, Kagome was his, Kagome would stay with him. He had reached his goal, he had succeeded. When he heard another moan from her, he rubbed his fingers against her wet folds, causing her to buck up like a startled deer. His erection was almost painful, and he wanted nothing other than to take her now, right and then.

"Kagome..." he panted against her rising breasts, while her fingers were busy clenching themselves around his long hair. She did not respond, but continue to squirm as his fingers circled around the bundle of nerves in front of her core. It was driving her crazy, and all she could think of was to spread her shaky legs wider to give him more access.

He closed his eyes and moved his face down to her privates, he wanted to smell her, to taste her, to feel her on his tongue. The moment that she felt something wet licking at her, a sudden gush of uncomfortable heat rushed down to her belly, and it was almost painful, this hunger in her. She had heard so much about sex, and now she was going to experience it. She had never thought that things would progress to such a state, but she was oddly not scared at all.

"Do you.. love me?" she asked amidst the haze in her mind.

He stopped his administrations upon her question, her virginal scent was driving him crazy and he was not sure of his answer. He had never thought about this before and moved his body up, pressing his nose against hers. She opened her eyes and looked into his golden orbs, the ferocity and rawness in it aroused her further. She wrapped her fingers around his erection tightly, causing him to let out a faint groan.

She rubbed the tip and brought it up, it was sticky and slimey, with some translucent liquid on her fingers. She tasted it gingerly and kissed him hard. He could taste himself in her mouth, and it drove him wilder. Kagome could feel his erection rubbing against her hot aching entrance, and she asked again. She would not let him in if he did not love her, she had not lost her senses entirely yet.

"Do you love me?" she asked, with an almost pleading tone in her voice. She was so scared, that he did not love her. She was not sure whether she was thinking properly either, but she knew how much she had sunk into it, so deep that it was almost impossible for her to pull herself out, like quicksand. She realized that she did not merely like him, she loved him. More than she had ever loved Inuyasha. She wanted someone like Sesshoumaru, someone strong and silent, stand-offish and cool.

He panted hard as the wintry breeze grazed his back. He tried hard to think, but all that he could think of was the wonderful, sinful pleasure and friction that he would get if he bury his throbbing aching shaft into her hot tight core. He knew that Kagome wanted an answer, and that she was not forcing him. But truth be told, he had no idea to whether he loved her or not. He was not even sure whether he really understood love. All he knew was that he wanted Kagome. Now.

After what seemed like a long while, he finally answered her. "I want you, Kagome."

His voice made her shook, yet she persisted, "but do you love me?"

He frowned hard, trying to shake off the thoughts of desire and lust away from his mind. He wanted to answer Kagome, but he did not want to deceive her either. "Shiranai, I'm not even sure whether I know what is love."

His answer made her felt so cold, and disappointed. Kagome closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him down. She wanted to cry, yet not. She wanted him to hug her, so she hugged him instead. She knew that he was telling the truth, and it would be difficult to get an answer from him.

He sensed that she was disappointed and upset. But he did not know whether he was prepared to entrust his scarred heart to her. What if she was like _her_? He squeezed his eyes shut, today was not a good time to take Kagome. She was prepared, but he realized that he was not. She wanted his love, she wanted his commitment, and he was not ready to give her any of these.

"Sumanai," he apologized and wrapped his furry pelt around her shivering body. He sat up and brought her up with him, with her kneeling in between his outstretched thighs and her arms still wrapped around his neck. A tear rolled out from her eyes, and she silently berated herself for being weak. She had been a strong woman for so long, she had been through worser situations before, and now all it took was one of his apologies, to break down her wall of will.

"Don't, I know it's hard," she rested her face in the crook of his neck. She wanted to blame him, for giving such a sloppy answer and apology. It was so anti-climax, she tried to make herself laugh. But she could not laugh, nor blame him. And the fact hit her in the face hard, that somehow subconsciously, she had indeed, truly fallen deep in love with him.

"I love you," her voice was weak, she was frightened. Her love might go unrequited.

"Aa," he closed his eyes and hugged her tightly. He was afraid too, that he would never be able to give her the answer that she wanted so much.

"Try to love me," she continued.

Sesshoumaru paused for a long while as he placed a soft kiss on her naked shoulder, rubbing his thumb over the wound that she had taken for him. He could not respond to such a request, until he was absolutely sure that he was capable of loving someone. The silence hung heavily between them, and she pulled away as she donned her clothes on, and helped him with Souta's shirt as he tightened the knot around his hakamas.

"These buttons are bothersome," he remarked as his fingers fumbled with them. Kagome smiled, and buttoned it up for him. When it was done, he held her close to his chest for a long while.

"Will you stay with me?" he thought that his voice sounded a little shaky and cursed himself for that.

Kagome closed her eyes wearily, "let's not talk anymore about this, shall we?"

His lips parted at her request. He felt her arms sliding around his waist, and her head resting against his heavy heart. He weaved his fingers through her wavy locks, and closed his eyes.

"Aa."

* * *

A/N: There you go! A whooping 6000+-word chapter. Im not at all happy with the first bit actually. I know a lot of you must be banging yr heads against your desks or monitors by now... but like what I've said, there will be no lemons, as far as I can see it. twiddles thumbs

And FYI, Sango actually means "coral". Isn't that such a lovely name? )

Special thanks goes out to Trouble in Shangri-La. She kindly beta-ed my lime. ;p


	20. Chapter 20

**The Promise of Star-Gazing.

* * *

****Glossary:**

daimyou - feudal lord  
ohayou - morning  
honto - really?  
doushite - why  
demo - but  
houshi - buddhist monk  
nani - what  
kotodama - rosary beads  
yukata - something like a kimono, not as elaborate, worn usually for bathing or summer, at home too.  
nagare-boshi - shooting star  
ja - well/then  
sore de - and then/and so  
daijoubu - it's alright  
kawaisou - pitiful

ara - hey/eh?

* * *

**_"But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near."_**

**- Andrew Marvell (1621-1678)**

* * *

A soft glaze fell over his golden eyes as the corners of his lips turned up a fraction; she was sleeping soundly and deeply, with her head resting in the crook of his neck again. When he asked her why she did not sleep on his lap, she merely said that his pulses made her sleepy. Her long hair was pooled on his lap and he could hear her slow deep breaths. She was so dead in her sleep with him that he sometimes wondered whether a thunderstorm would be able to wake her up. Did she sleep on Inuyasha the way she did on him too? Was he able to grant her a peaceful dreamless sleep like he did?

From the limited account of her traveling with Inuyasha, it seemed to him that Kagome had a knack of bumping into the worst situations, even though she had insisted vehemently that his hanyou brother did his best to protect her. He thought that she must have loved Inuyasha a lot, in order to believe and defend him so much, even now. He simply could not justify the near loss of her soul to Naraku's underlings and the undead miko as mere 'accidents' nor 'slip-ups'.

He was also amazed that she had somehow survived in this era, with all the silly wars of daimyou's going on and even following Inuyasha around, who seemed utterly thoughtless, brainless and reckless to him. Did her mother not want to marry her off? Was her family so lax with their disciplines? Had she no pre-arranged marriage? He only knew that she was eighteen, and she would not divulge anymore than that.

But he was not eager to press on for more information.

Kagome did not really want to touch on issues related to their relationship nor answer certain questions, and he would respect her decision. Afterall, he himself was not sure of what he could give her. And by not thinking too much, he had the most wonderful two weeks with her, and he was sure that Kagome felt the same too. He knew that the time would come eventually, for them to make a decision but until then, he would wait.

So much time had passed by for him, surely a little more would not matter.

His left shoulder was starting to feel a little tired, and he smiled to himself again, while trying not to think what an idiot he must looked like now.

She would alternate her positions every night, and no matter how much he insisted on resting alone, she would moan and groan and tug on his top until he gave in. He was rather surprised to her change of attitude overnight initially. She was displaying her affections openly like a little human girl, and behaving like one sometimes. Not that he disliked it; he actually welcomed the sudden change. This adorable side of her made him less tensed, even though he did not know why he was always iso/i uptight. Perhaps it was his nature, or perhaps it was because he was a youkai. He surmised that one would have to be always on the lookout for potential enemies, and to be extremely cautious and wary too. But when he was in a battle, it seemed to him he could let go of all that tension since his enemy was visible, although this was not always the case.

He closed his eyes, wondering to himself again what kind of a person he was like before he lost his memories. Everyday he would discover a little more about himself, but the stray, cloudy pieces of puzzle here and there did not fit well together at all. Too many overlaps for him to sift out, too many gaps for him to fill in; but there was no Kagome in the loose pieces. A small deliberate sniff brought him out of his train of thoughts.

"Lazy girl," he mumbled as Kagome raised a finger to rub her runny nose. Rin had already went scouting for her morning meal and Jaken as usual had to follow her.

He could hear the faint melodious chirping of birds and Ah-Un chewing noisely and laboriously on whatever there was around. He could feel the tender green shoots that shot from the ground as the soft prickly tips brushed against his fingers, and the warm sunshine which indicated that the day was not early anymore. Spring would arrive soon, he could feel it in the air. He knew that most of the snow had melted and it was not as chilly as before. There was a delectable scent of freshness and newness, and he thought that Kagome was exactly like that. She was like a refreshing addition to his life, in many ways possible, and in many ways unimaginable.

He moved his hand over to her exposed cold thighs, and gave it a tender rub. It was his gentle way of waking her up, and at the same time taking the opportunity to caress her soft yet lean thighs. Kagome stirred, and as usual, took a while to wake up fully. She almost did not want to, she had some of the best sleep with him, even without a sleeping bag.

"Ohayou..." she did not move from her position but merely stretched her stiff legs. Never had she felt so comfortable with someone before, not even Inuyasha; and it scared her sometimes, when she thought of the day that she had to leave him.

"You'll break my neck if you refuse to get up," he greeted her back coolly.

She scowled, but continued to press her face into his neck. Ever since that day, they had not mentioned a single thing about their relationship nor what would happen in future. And it was almost blissful for the past two weeks, other than the occassional sadness that she felt when she thought of her would-be departure that hung at the back of her mind constantly. Kagome was sure that Sesshoumaru felt the same too, just that none of them was willing to break the agreement that they had set up. No matter how hard she tried, nor how many times she went through the speech in her mind, she just could not bring herself to break the news to him. She knew that she would not be able to handle his_ lack_ of responses, and it gave her a splitting headache everytime she tried to sort through her rambling thoughts and decisions.

Perhaps she would leave quietly.

He wanted to frown at her childish behaviour, yet smile at how endearing she was to him at times. In the end, he decided to get up without her; that was his not-so-gentle way. Kagome gave a surprised yelp at how fast he stood up, and an angry ouch later when she was deposited on the ground like a lump of meat on the chopping board.

"It's still early!" she pouted as she sat on the wet melting snow awkwardly. Her knee-length skirt was damp and it would be unsightly, especially at where the damp patch was.

"Not," he smirked and turned his nose up, knowing that this action of his irritated her. He felt like teasing her today, and he would. Yes, Kagome brought him joy too. Precious joy that he could never get enough of. It was so rare, yet he thought he had almost experienced all the different kinds of it.

The simple pure joy of being with her, the hilarious joy when she made a fool of herself, the deep joy of having her sleeping with him, and the indescribable, speechless joy that flowed through his whole inner being when they kissed. It was as if she belonged to him, and he to her. And if souls were tangible, he was sure that theirs danced together when their lips touched.

"You did that on purpose didn't you!" Kagome got to her feet hurriedly and tried to peer to her back; Rin would undoubtedly ask why her skirt was wet, and Jaken would definitely roll his yellow eyes at the dark spot. It was her favourite pleated skirt too, in a lovely shade of periwinkle blue.

"I do not bother myself with such silly stuff," he steadied the two swords in his obi and turned to walk away. He wanted to head for the West, to study and learn more about his so-called lands that she had told him. It was like inheritance, or treasure that he felt he ought to seek and take hold of.

Kagome smiled, he was teasing her, and she knew that. How many times had he teased her under the pretense of complete irritation and utter boredom? And that unmistakable mocking, condescending tone that she could almost mimick. She caught up with him in a moment and pulled his top hard. His feet stopped instantly.

"Carry me."

His eyebrows went up. Did he hear correctly what she was saying?

She knew that he was surprised, and she had expected that. "I want you to carry me. My legs are still stiff, my skirt is wet, I'm hungry and I don't have the energy to walk, and it's so cold and I don't have my coat and-"

He rolled his eyes. How could anyone spew so much rubbish and nonsense? He hated her sometimes, the way she made use of him.

"Get up," he kneeled down on one knee, letting out a defeated silent sigh, and told himself that this was how the mighty fall.

Kagome smiled victoriously to herself, no doubt she was making use of his feelings towards her, but that was exactly why she was so happy about. Sesshoumaru liked her, enough to carry her on her back. Enough to let her sleep with him, enough not to ask questions when she did not want to answer. She wrapped her arms around his slender neck and her smile grew wider as she buried her nose into his hair. He always smelled nice, with or without a bath. If only he was not Sesshoumaru, not a taiyoukai, not Inuyasha's brother. The sadness plagued her mind again.

"You will get down when we reach Jaken and Rin," he hooked his right arm round the back of her knee and brought her up effortlessly with him. Although he really did not mind a bit, at all.

"Okay," she rested her chin on his right shoulder, "tonight I will sleep on this shoulder."

"Do not behave like a child," he tried not to grin.

"I am a child," she retorted with a pout.

"You are not one anymore."

He was right. Women of her age would be married with two kids in his time.

"But I am only eighteen, and you are eight hundred years old! So I am a child compared to you."

He thought that he had never heard of a lousier excuse and comparison before. How dared she compare herself to him! He thought indignantly.

"No."

"Why not? Jaken and Rin won't say."

"No," he repeated again.

"I like your pelt and it keeps me warm..." she pleaded.

"That is an heirloom pelt, not for you to sleep with," he said dryly.

"But you have no need for it anyway."

He paused for a while, he could not always give into her. He had to win too.  
"You can sleep with it, _away_ from me," he emphasized pointedly.

She thought for a while, she could not lose to him, especially when she was winning all the time.

"Don't you like it when I sleep with you?" she rubbed her face against his striped cheek like a purring cat.

His right eyebrow shot up at her action and he lied, "no."

"Honto?" she tried to sound as sad as possible.

"Hn."

"Doushite?"

"Your head is heavy," he thought of the numbing ache in his left shoulder.

She scowled. "My head is not heavy!"

He groaned silently and tried not to roll his eyes too, "no, sleep somewhere else."

"You are possibly the most heartless man I've ever known! Here I am offering myself to sleep with you and you refuse me!" she tried to speak in the dramatic tone that she had used in her school drama. It was afterall well received and her classmates had even encouraged her to go for acting courses. To be the next superstar, Eri had told her earnestly.

He decided to keep quiet, it was futile to argue with a foolish woman over a silly topic like this. Besides, he did like to rest with her. It was not important for him to win this round, or perhaps he did not mind being the loser again.

"Tonight I shall sleep on this shoulder," Kagome smiled dreamily at his silent consent and leaned her ear against his large pointy one. She had won.

Sesshoumaru let out an audible sigh; he had lost again, in all willingness though.

* * *

Sango stared at the starry skies while Kirara curled on her lap quietly.

"Spring comes early this year, isn't it?" Miroku leaned back on his two arms.

"Ee, I wonder where is Kagome-chan now," she stared hard at a particular pair of stars that were almost bunched up together.

His eyebrows creased slightly, "I hope she comes back for New Year."

Her gaze flitted to the monk lazing beside her, "I hope she is safe. Do you think she really is with Sesshoumaru?"

Miroku paused for a while, "I don't think Kikyou-sama is lying."

Her soft brown eyes rounded, "demo Kagome-chan can't be with him!"

"Everything and anything can happen," he replied honestly.

"But there's no reason why she is with Sesshoumaru... " Sango bit on her lower lip.

"Aa. But Kagome-sama does not think like us," he added thoughtfully.

Sango paused for a while, he was right. "Do you think she will tell us if that is the truth?"

He shrugged his shoulders and took a quick glance around, making sure that the hanyou was not back from collecting fuel for their nightly fire. "I am sure she will not tell Inuyasha."

She rested her chin on her legs as she drew them in, "I'm worried for Kagome-chan. She is too trusting sometimes."

He shifted his seat a little nearer to her, "aa, I'm afraid so. Kagome-sama is exceptionally kind and forgiving too. But don't worry, I am with you."

A blush came over her cheeks, "houshi-sama! Nani-"

The redness left her face as she felt something groping for her butt. There was no mistake about it. She had afterall encountered such advances for three whole years. She was starting to get weary of it, and wished that Miroku would just grab and kiss her.

PIAK!

The slap resounded in the still night air, and Sango could feel the buzzing sting in her hand.

"Ah..." Miroku caressed the burning palm print over his left cheek, comforting himself that at least he had finally managed to cup her bottom. It had been a long while since he had last gave it a nice, firm squeeze.

"I wish you had a kotodama around your neck like Inuyasha," the taijiya said coldly while Miroku gave her a not-so-surprised look.

* * *

"Kagome-neesan, you have not finished the story yet," Rin gave a light tug at her periwinkle pleated skirt. Kagome turned around and smiled, "I'll tell you as we walk ne?"

"Where are we going?" Rin swiveled her head around, they seemed to be approaching a village.

"To get you a new yukata!" the happy smile never left Kagome's face.

"For Rin?" the little one's eyes rounded.

"Hai! You are growing, and you have been wearing this for so long. It's getting a little short," Kagome nodded her head knowingly and stole a peek at him. Expressionless, as usual.

Rin was so elated that for a while she did not know what to say. Sesshoumaru-sama was getting her another yukata, that was something new and rare.

"Jaken-sama!" she turned to her right and beamed at the kappa-youkai, who in turn gave her a dour face as he pulled Ah-Un's leash. He had used to walk beside his lord, but now fell behind with the ningen ward as Kagome took over his place. Times had changed.

"Rin, where did I stop last time?" Kagome weaved her fingers through his, and continued to walk on even though Sesshoumaru paused, just for a split second. She ignored his hesitation and in that split second, decided to take Rin's hand with the other one.

"Was it where Sophie tried to catch the dying nagare-boshi?"

"Hai!" Rin nodded her head. She wanted Hauru to end up with Sophie, and Sesshoumaru-sama with Kagome-neesan.

She closed her fingers over both the taiyoukai's and the little one's hand, and gave him a tight squeeze. His hand was large and calloused, like Inuyasha's, but it gave her a rather different feeling. A smile crept up her face as he did the same and gave her a not-so-gentle squeeze. He thought that her hand was so small and her bones so thin and brittle that he instantly loosened his grip and held her as gently as possible. He could not remember doing such a thing with _her_ at all, and it was definitely different from holding a katana. She felt like china to him. Precious precious china.

"Ja... Calcifer tried to tell Sophie that Hauru had given his heart to him when he was a young boy, but she just could not understand. Calcifer could not reveal to her outright since he and Hauru were bound to the curse. It was a very nasty curse."

She took a glance, and saw that Rin was looking nervously back at her.

"Sore de, the evil witch that had cursed Sophie was hunting Hauru down too. So Hauru had to move his castle away to a safer place, where the witch could not locate him. He tried to break the curse too, since he was a very very powerful wizard."

"Like Sesshoumaru-sama?" Kagome could hear angry outbursts of 'mochiron!' and 'baka!' behind her.

She pursed her lips, and gave her most thoughtful look, "hmmm... maybe not."

He arched his eyebrows up, while Rin gave a look of disbelief. No one could rival her lord!

"Hauru was more than powerful, he had found a way to travel to Sophie's world, and back to his own. He was much stronger than any wizards, and the King only wanted him. The only thing was that he would die soon if the curse was not broken."

Rin gasped loudly at the possibility that her lord might die, again.

Kagome laughed softly, "daijoubu, Hauru is smarter than the witch!"

Sesshoumaru made a noise in his throat, he was much better than her fictional 'Hauru' in all possible ways.

She ignored it and cocked her head to the girl, "demo Hauru only has a very short amount of time, so he tried his best to break the curse. And in the meanwhile, he got to know another pretty lady in his world, who was working as a teacher and Sophie thought that he was smitten with her, since she was very clever too."

Rin gasped again, she was sure that Sesshoumaru-sama only wanted Kagome-neesan.

"Sophie was very, very upset. But she could not show it you see. She still thought that Hauru did not know she was actually a young lady, and that he loved the pretty lady in his world very much. He would visit her very often, leaving Sophie in the castle alone with Calcifer and his apprentice. She was very lonely, and depressed at the same time."

"Kawaisou..." Rin said her thoughts out loud.

"Ara! We're here!" Kagome pointed to the outskirts of the village excitedly. It had took her a long time to convince Sesshoumaru that Rin needed a longer and a bigger yukata. And he had refused her outright so many times until she asked him how he would feel if her skirt could barely cover her.

He had not wanted to go near humans, knowing that a commotion would be created upon the sight of him. But he had no choice, she was right. He had wanted to say that her skirt was not that long either but decided not to. He could imagine the long senseless draggy argument she would start, and he knew she knew how much he hated it.

He was shocked, really, at how well she understood him. To the extent that he was a little frightened, and wanted to withdraw himself away from her sometimes. But he could not. It seemed that everytime he tried to do so, Kagome would somehow weave a spell over him, unconsciously like Sophie and brought him back to her. It was as if there were invisible cords tied around his soul and her fingers, and they got thicker and stronger as the days went by.

He had tried to imagine that she would not stay with him, would leave him for her friends and Inuyasha, would forsake their relationship. Kagome was so happy and so carefree that it bothered him. It was unlike of her not to think at all, since he realized that she had a tendency to over-analyze and get depressed, even though she hid it rather well. And he had to admit that it was panic he felt, and dreaded it very much. He would have no reason, no excuse to keep her by his side, nor to prevent her from leaving. The more Kagome refused to talk about it, the bigger his worry grew and loomed. It gnawed on his insides silently, and the ominous fear of their parting grew more real as it lurked at the back of his mind constantly like a sticky shadow.

His eyebrows knitted together in a light frown. The more he struggled with it, the worse it became. He was sinking into quicksand, faster than he could get himself out, faster than he could take a proper mouthful of air, faster than he could say no to it. The irony was that he knew there was no spell cast over him. Yet, he could not figure out what it was. His feelings towards Kagome were similar to what he felt towards iher/i, yet quite different in a way too. It was more... _"expansive"_, he tried to comprehend.

"Bothersome," he mumbled to himself as the females walked excitedly into the village without him.

* * *

Naraku smiled. The Shikon no kakkera embedded within Chiyo's forehead was glowing a beautiful dark purple, and he could see the murderous glint from her red crimson eyes. She was a perfect killing machine, with no mind and character of her own. Lines appeared on his forehead as he thought of the information that Byakuya had passed him.

To be honest, he was a little stunned, and perhaps a little shocked that Kanna would betray him. She was so quiet and so obedient that he had never really thought her capable of such a thing like betrayal. It was something what that pitiful Kagura would do, but not Kanna. Still, he felt that luck was still on his side, no matter what the seer had predicted for him. He had gone through so much for so many years to achieve what he had now, and he was not willing to back down just because of some silly hocus-pocus visions by the fire-lake. The Shikon no Tama would be almost completed in his hands, and with that he would be able to command the forces of nature and life. What more of his own life? Fate would _yield_ to him then.

A cruel smile overtook the lines in his face, he would use Chiyo to get rid of Kanna, and then Byakuya. He could not trust that illusionist youkai too, he could see the deceit in his laughing eyes and neutral mannerisms. But first, he had other things to see to. Like the relationship between Sesshoumaru and Kagome.

He found it hard to believe initially, until his own Saimyoushou reported exactly as what Byakuya had said. Naraku thought for a while as he rested against the wooden wall of his dark room lazily. He had tried to take control of Kagome's soul and mind before, but had failed each time. The miko was terribly resilient to him, as if there were powers in her own soul that she could draw upon to fight him back, like that damned Kikyou. He would have to break Kagome, before she turned into another Kikyou. Upon that thought, he closed his eyes and frowned real hard.

It was too risky, to keep her alive, for long.

"Chiyo, I shall give you your first task."

* * *

Kagome looked up as she rested her cheek on her hand; the midnight sky was sprinkled with so many stars that she could not find a blank piece of sky to think nor to meditate. She could hear Rin yakking happily to Jaken about her new green floral yukata and see Sesshoumaru sitting silently beside her from the corner of her eye. His bright golden eyes were wide open and staring out to the half-frozen lake. The bright beams of moonlight lent an odd delicate fragile look to his chiselled features, as if his skin was made of porcelain and would crack to a thousand pieces with one touch.

Her eyes moved back to the skies as she tried to find an empty spot amidst the bright sparkling dots. Her heart was heavy today, she had heard the villagers talking about the coming of the New Year. She had seen them bustling about in excitement and happiness as each made their preparations for the festival. And she asked herself whether she was the only one who was not excited about the New Year, at all.

She bit on her dry lower lip, she would have to return to Inuyasha and her friends soon. She had missed them much, thought of them much, and even wondered whether Kaede would prepare her favourite vegetable stew for New Year celebrations. But she knew that she would miss him too. She would miss his steely voice in the day, she would miss his nightly gentle whispers as she drifted off to sleep. She would miss his teasing, his sarcasm, and the monotonous way he said 'no' to her.

She would miss his warmth, the abrupt way his lips touched hers when Jaken and Rin were not around, and the possessive hungry kiss they shared when they were alone. She thought that she could feel her fear, and his too, in their kisses, occasional touches and lingering embraces. It was so tangible and real, that it shook her core sometimes, dragging her back to reality that her time with him was limited.

But what could she do? Sesshoumaru was still not sure of his feelings towards her, and she did not blame him, although she did not understand why either. She had at one time wanted Inuyasha to love her, to choose her and to forget about Kikyou. So intent was she last time that she almost could blame the hanyou; for not being hard enough on her, for not initiating a clean break, and for almost leading her on. But she knew that it was not his fault either; Inuyasha did love her, in his own way.

And now? She could not even harden her heart against Sesshoumaru. Somewhere deep within her, Kagome hoped that something will happen to him, to her, or for them. And she hated that hope, it was working against all odds, toiling labourously away yet refuse to die. Lingering around, slithering around, running around in her heart. She thought that her whole being was infested with it, big fat hopes. Bouncing around, flying around, swarming around in her mind everytime she peeked at him, everytime he smirked at her, everytime he encircled her waist with his long strong arm.

She let out another long sigh. Hope made her felt trapped too. _"What an irony..."_

"Kagome," her sighs got to him, though not in an irritated way.

"Hmm?" she drew her legs in and wrapped her arms around them.

"What did you do this morning?"

"Eh?" she cocked her head to him.

"This," he took her hand awkwardly, not knowing what to do with it.

Sesshoumaru was holding her hand carefully as if it was some expensive antique, and she stared at it for a long while.

"Oh!" she smiled, all ugly despairing thoughts banished from her mind as she blushed.

His face turned to her just a little, he thought he could hear her smile.

Kagome inserted her fingers through his slowly and closed down on his hard knuckles, "this is 'holding hands'."

A gentle night breeze blew his bangs to the other side, and she could see the slight arch of his eyebrows.

"We do this... to signify that both like each other, and are together..."

"Hmmm," he closed his clawed fingers over her hand and remained silent for a while. "You humans have a funny way of showing it."

"Then how do youkai do it?" she asked.

He narrowed his eyes a little and she thought he smiled a little, "many ways. But not as gentle as holding hands."

"Oh," Kagome blushed hard. She knew what he meant, and she knew that he knew too.

"For now, I am satisfied with this," he resumed his lordly tone again.

She thought that her ears and neck burned when he said that. Was he hinting-

"Kagome, do you want to be with me?" he had to ask now that she brought up the subject. Surely he was allowed to ask this.

Her blush and smile faded away. Could she tell him now? Time was running out, for the both of them. She almost could see the hourglass beside their interlocked hands. She could almost hear the soft trickling of sand as every second ticked by. She almost could feel time slipping soundlessly away through the tiny gaps in between their fingers. Kagome subconsciously tightened her grip on his hands and shut her lids.

It was painful, yes, more than painful for her to acknowledge the truth herself. Her dreaminess for the past two weeks was whittling away with his question, swirling down lifelessly into a whirlpool along with her hope that time would stretch itself as long as it could. It was a simple question, and she knew what her heart desired. Yet she could not give in to it. How many times did she have to go through this? She asked, hoping that Someone would answer her. But there was not even a whisper in the air.

Sesshoumaru felt her squeeze, it somehow felt fearful and painful the way she pressed her blunt nails into his palm; vulnerable and desperate the way her fingers tried to squirm so gently and push them deeper into the grooves of his hand. As if there was something hiding in between their palms, and she was afraid that it would escape. She did not answer him, there was a long stretch of silence and he remained equally quiet.

He knew that there was something that she wanted to say, to tell him, but did not. He could almost hear the regretted sigh and whisper when she opened her mouth everytime, before she decided against it and went on to other subjects. What exactly had she wanted to say? What exactly bothered her so much that she could not spit it out? He shut his eyelids too, and in turn gave her small hand a tighter grip. If she wanted to close all the possible gaps and space, then he would too. He would do ialmost/i anything and everything for Kagome, if only she asked.

She smiled, even though she could feel the blood draining away from her hand. She did not mind the hard forceful grip of his, it somehow made her felt better. She would not be with him, but perhaps, things would not be that bad. They would still see each other, just not alone, that was all.

She loosened her grip, and he instantly followed. She scooted nearer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He hunched his back a little to accomodate her height, and tilted his head a little to her.

"There are many many stars tonight," her eyes remained closed.

He remained silent, because she sounded a little sad.

"The sky is so pretty tonight. Do you like star-gazing?"

He thought for a while. He was not sure whether it could be considered as his hobby. He remembered that he stared at the skies rather often, although the reason behind it completely eluded him now.

"I like to watch the stars here, the view is different from my house," she continued on her own.

"Hn," he wondered whether that was her hobby too.

"I wish you can see, then we can watch the stars together."

He made up his mind, he wanted his sight back.

"Time passes so fast..." her eyelids drooped. The image of hourglass returned to her mental canvas.

"Aa," he said with all conviction. Time flew like her hamaya when she was with him.

She turned her face a little, burying her nose into him as she inhaled deeply.

"It is funny you know. I never expected this at all."

"This?" he asked.

"Hn, to sit beside you and look at stars. To like a person like you, and for you to like me too."

"Aa," he wondered again what kind of a youkai he was before he lost his memories.

"What do you like about me?" she knew that it was a silly question, but she still wanted to know. She could not have him, but she could keep the knowledge and her feelings for him. They would become precious memories for her, precious keepsakes that no one could ever snatch away from her.

He let out a silent tight-lipped sigh as the heavy and light snoring of Jaken and Rin behind them reached his sharp ears. Her questions were harder than his. He fumbled around in his mind, trying to search for words that might possibly describe his 'affections' for her.

"You are a contradicting creature."

Her deep brown eyes widened, it was the first time she had ever heard of such a reason. Was he even replying to her?

"You are foolish, but intelligent at times. Silly, but sensible in a way. Not very lovable, yet you are to me. Does this Sesshoumaru answer your question?"

Her eyes misted. "Go on, I want to hear more," she whispered softly.

He paused for a while. "You are fragile, but not weak. You are not very adorable too. And very talkative sometimes. Too talkative in fact."

She giggled a little, sadly, and she could feel the wetness squirming around the rim of her eyes.

"You contradict yourself, irritate me, and make use of me all the time. But I am not angry, nor curious. Yet I wish to probe into your mind, to know what you are thinking."

There was a pause, and his thumb stroked her fingers lazily.

"You often confuse me and give me headaches. This Sesshoumaru does not understand why his heart yearn for you too."

Her vision blurred, something rose to her throat and halted there. She smiled, and willed her tears not to fall.

He could not think of what else to say, and fell back to silence again.

They remained in that position for a long while. One repeating to herself what he said, the other trying to understand why she had asked him that question.

"I think, I like to watch the stars too. You will watch with me, when I can see," he said solemnly.

She blinked, smacked her lips, and could taste salt. It stung her dry mouth, and her insides.

"Maybe we'll see a meteor shower then," she gave his hand a gentle squeeze and smiled.

* * *

A/N: Many thanks to JadedNamida and Trouble in ShangriLa for looking through this chapter! 


	21. Chapter 21

**The Lake of Stars.

* * *

**

**Glossary:**

Oishii - delicious  
yokatta - thank goodness  
dou desu ka - how is it?  
ii desu ka - is it good?  
iku - let's go  
houshi - buddhist monk  
Kami - God  
demo - but  
sou ja - yes... I see/you are right  
masaka - could it be! (in this context)  
nandemonai - nothing in particular  
onsen - hot spring  
katana - sword  
daijoubu desu ka - are you alright?  
ano - excuse me/erm  
ee - equivalent to 'yes'  
inu-koro - technically means black-dog, which is more of an insult that Kouga uses against Inuyasha everytime  
ookami - wolf  
nenju no kotodama - rosary beads that has the power to subdue Inuyasha for a while when Kagome says the appropriate chosen word naze - why  
doushite - why  
urusai - shut up/annoying/noisy  
minna - everyone  
honto - really?  
otouto - younger brother  
yamete kudasai - pls stop  
onegai - please  
yame ro - stop!  
nani - what  
okiru - wake up  
samui - cold

* * *

**_"As I bid farewell my heart stops, in tenderness I feel,  
My silent empty body begins to listen to what is real."_**

**- Lyrics from "Always With Me", Spirited Away, directed by Hayao Miyazaki.**

* * *

Rin blew gently on the barbequed river trout, holding onto the twig skewer gingerly before sinking her teeth onto the sweet-tasting flesh. She licked her lips, Kagome-neesan was so much a better cook than Jaken, who either undercooked or overcooked their food. Or her food, since she did not eat nor fancy lizards. They looked rather tough and dry to Rin.

"Oishii..." her hungry greedy eyes were closed in momentary satisfaction as she took a bigger bite of the fish. She had not tasted such delicious food for a long while, and it brought back sweet vague memories of her human mother; her cooking and the faint smells that she could detect a mile away from her old straw hut.

"Yokatta!" Kagome smiled and handed one fat trout to Sesshoumaru, whose stony gaze lingered on the fish for a while before holding the skewer in between his thumb and forefinger hesitantly. She could see his nose twitching a little, and thought to herself that it would be now or never, for her to discover whether he ate his food raw or cooked. Sesshoumaru ate so seldom that she wondered whether he was really immortal. Food did not seem to be a necessity to him at all.

He took care to sniff at the barbequed trout, delicately, not wishing to turn down her good intentions. The fish smelt too charred, he thought to himself. Still, he had to show his appreciation. He raised the fish to his lips slowly, and took a very small bite. The flesh was too stiff, too dry and too bland. He would prefer it to be more raw and chewy, softer and more juicy. Not that he really like to eat fish since he could never stand that fishy stench which seemed to linger in his nostrils even after a long while. That seemed to him Rin's favourite food, other than sweet potatoes and occasionally, wild flowers.

"Dou desu ka? Ii desu ka?" Kagome asked nervously.

Sesshoumaru hurriedly gulped down the bite, forcing it down his throat and replied calmly, "it is manageable."

Her eyebrow arched up at his answer; did he prefer raw fish then? Like sashimi? But she was no chef.

He hesitated for a while; did he really have to finish the whole fish? With the bones too? He supposed that he could somehow crunch them into smaller pieces and perhaps powder it if he mashed his teeth over it. Kagome really was bad at cooking, for youkai. He would have to teach her how to prepare food in the proper way, he mused to himself. And perhaps add a little sugar.

"Kagome-neesan, why does the lake freeze, but not the sea?" Rin asked with her mouth full.

"Hmm... it's because the lake is freshwater, and the seawater contains salt. Salt will not allow the water to freeze," Kagome hoped that her explanation was clear enough.

But Rin did not seem bothered and went on, "Kagome-neesan, what happened later then? Did Sophie save Hauru?"

He let out a silent relieved sigh when he heard Kagome rummaging through her bag for the damned book, and instantly flung the fish a good distance away. He would rather go hungry than to eat that.

"Ah... as I've said, Hauru moved his castle and everyone away to a place that he thought the witch could not find him. It turned out that the curse that bonded Hauru to Calcifer was actually based on a poem, and that he would die very soon if the curse was not broken. Dakara Sophie was very anxious and worried much about Hauru. She was not very bothered about her own curse and tried to find ways and means to understand the poem and to find a remedy for it.

But Hauru continue to slip away to find the pretty teacher in his own world and that made Sophie very, very upset. She was very angry, and threw her tantrums on Hauru everytime he returned. They also discovered that Sophie was somewhat a witch too, for she could give life to objects simply by talking to them. Hauru gave her a beautiful garden, and they sold flowers for a period.

Then one day, the pretty teacher suddenly turned up at Hauru's castle, saying that she wanted to look for him. Sophie was jealous and angry at the same time, but yet she did not dare to show it. Hauru was not at the castle and Sophie turned the teacher away politely when she wanted to come in and take a look, thinking that she was a being busybody."

Rin scowled and licked the remnants off her fingers, "I don't like the teacher."

Kagome smiled, "Sophie was really upset by then. She loves Hauru a lot, but he did not seem to know nor care. He was obsessed with the pretty teacher and constantly talked about her. Also, she felt that since she could not help him with his curse, nor did he seem to know the existence of her curse and herself in his castle, she decided to leave."

Rin's curious eyes widened. Jaken's dull eyes rolled.

Sesshoumaru blinked in irritation, he had to put a stop to this story. It was neither interesting nor captivating, and was equally as bad as the barbequed trout.

"Rin, iku."

"Hai!" Rin got to her two feet while Kagome tidied up and prepared to leave. But they had taken no more than five steps, before they heard a loud noisy gyrating sound that seemed to sound like a miniature tornado.

"Kouga!" Kagome shrieked.

* * *

"Miroku, do you think Byakuya will come after us again?" Shippou asked worriedly. It was by luck that he had managed to see the illusionist youkai, and he was not so sure whether they would be able to emerge unscathed or victorious the next time. It was hard when one could not see nor sense the enemy.

The houshi fingered his abdomen's wound and thanked Kami for the luck he had so far, "I do not know why he had not sought to kill us. It was like... like he was playing with us..." he said thoughtfully.

"Keh! That fucking bastard! I will kill him the next time I see him!" Inuyasha growled. He hated jokers; especially those who toyed with lives, other people's lives.

"Demo, it was also as if he was testing us... Come to think of it, I don't think he really wanted to kill us. Why the horses? Why the knives? Why go through so much effort?" Sango bit gently on her lower lip and frowned.

"Ah, maybe he was trying to put up a show. Perhaps he does not want to antagonize us yet," Miroku's violet irises wandered over the pebbles on the ground as they walked on.

"I hope Kagome is safe..." Shippou said out loud his thoughts, and instantly clapped his paw over his mouth when Miroku quickly flashed him a stern glance.

"Kagome-sama is at home, of course she will be safe," the houshi answered calmly with a languid smile.

"Shippou, you must be worrying too much and getting yourself ill... Kagome-chan will bring you more colour crayons when she returns for New Year!" Sango tried to smile despite having the same worry as the kitsune.

"Ah... sou ja... I think my head is a little hot..." Shippou put a paw to his head and put up his best ill look.

Inuyasha pretended that he never heard, and kept his arms folded as he walked on silently ahead of his combat mates. He would not doubt her, and would leave his questions till she was back. Kagome had never deceived him, ever. His trust in her would not be shaken by mere rumours or sayings, he told himself.

Sango and Shippou both let out a soft long sigh when Inuyasha did not respond. Miroku stared at the hanyou's red haori as his feet padded soundlessly on the stony path. It was unusual for Inuyasha not to react, especially when the matter revolved around Kagome. Something was also not quite right with the way he kept his back that straight and stiff, Miroku thought that Inuyasha looked a little... tense.

_"Masaka!"_ his violet eyes widened and his lips parted.

There was no doubt about it, Inuyasha knew, and must have somehow overheard their conversation with Kaede since they had not talked about this matter anymore other than in absolute privacy. Miroku frowned hard. It would explain the hanyou's sudden consent to search for the kakkera without Kagome, his silence to Shippou's query, and why he had not lunged around nor peer forlornly into the Bone Eater's Well, as to what he had always did when he got frustrated of waiting for her return.

"Houshi-sama?" Sango noticed that Miroku had fell a little behind and was deep in thoughts. The look on his face worried her a little.

"Nandemonai," Miroku smiled and gave his Shakoju a shake. He thought she still looked pretty with the crease in her eyebrows.

Just a while more, and Kagome would be back. Till then, he would not think too much.

* * *

"Kagome!" Kouga stared at the shocked miko in front of him, who was trailing behind Sesshoumaru holding the hands of a young ningen girl who looked strangely, distantly familiar to him. He had gone past the onsen some time ago and caught a whiff of Kagome's blood. The scent was very old, and very faint, but the heavy wintry air helped him to identify who the blood belonged to.

He had taken much effort to trail the scent and almost lost it at Inuyasha's Woods, near an old dry well. Somehow he caught the whiff again and this time round, he could smell Kagome's sweet natural scent with it and knew that she was still alive. He had wanted to give Inuyasha a good scolding, for not protecting Kagome and letting her get hurt. But he had not expected to see her iwithout/i Inuyasha and her friends, let alone with Sesshoumaru and his entourage.

He had only met the taiyoukai several times, and even though they did not fight, he knew that he was an opponent to be reckoned with, unlike Inuyasha who had always won by sheer luck and his inherited youkai-katana. Strength, superiority and power practically exuded from Sesshoumaru's being, flooding the surroundings with it. Sesshoumaru was obviously altogether from another class of youkai different from themselves.

But, that still did not mean that Kagome should be with him. Worse still, she seemed particularly happy until he ran into them. The change in her facial expression was so blatant that he felt hurt. Kagome was his woman; no one could snatch her away.

"Kagome! Daijoubu desu ka!" the ookami-youkai rushed past the taiyoukai in a blur of brown to her front and held her hands tightly. Rin instantly scurried away and hid behind Sesshoumaru while Jaken glowered at Kouga.

A drop of perspiration slid down her face. Meeting Kouga was as bad as meeting Inuyasha, and perhaps worse. Inuyasha at least seemed to be able to counter some of Sesshoumaru's attacks, whereas Kouga... well, she had no idea other than he had never won against the hanyou. Truthfully, she had not thought of bumping into the ookami. But now that her hands were clasped in between his palms tightly, she really did not know what to say or react. He was looking at her intently with concern, and she knew that she had to give an answer.

"Ano... daijoubu desu... what are you-"

She was promptly cut off when Sesshoumaru spun around and called out, "Kagome."

"Eh?" she squeaked. All thoughts flew out from her mind like released caged birds. She could tell from his tone that he was neither happy nor pleased, and was a little edgy too.

"Iku," his piercing golden eyes seemed to stay on her face. Or perhaps it was because he could not see Kouga.

Before Kagome could say anything again, Kouga released her hands and pulled her to his side.  
"Kagome, what are you doing here with him? Are you hurt? Did he hurt you? I followed your blood, what happened?"

Sesshoumaru felt as if there was a monster inside of him, suddenly awakened and clawing at his ribcage when he heard what the ookami said. He was obviously on close terms with her, cared immensely about her and even recognized the scent of her blood! He wondered who the ookami was, and why he sounded so worried and possessive.

"Iie! It's not Sesshoumaru... I met Kikyou and we... we fought," her voice trailed off, not certain that she wanted to continue or explain. Kouga might not understand too.

"Kikyou? Inuyasha's undead miko?" Kouga asked. He had remembered the eerie miko who had wanted the Shikon no kakkera embedded in his ankles. He was wary of her, and the young taijiya that hung around her like a parasite.

"Ee... Demo I'm fine now..." she smiled a little. "Kouga, I need to go..."

"Go where? Since that inu-koro is not with you, you shall come with me. I will protect you!" the confidence in his gruff voice was unmistakable as he flashed his sharp fangs in a well-intentioned grin.

"You pompous ookami! Who do you think you are? She is traveling with Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken yelled out as he waved Nintoujou angrily at Kouga. i"The ookami must be courting his death!"/i he flared his nostrils a little, trying to imitate his lord.

"And who are you?" Kouga sneered and looked down at the kappa-youkai, "Kagome is my woman! I am free to bring her wherever I want!"

Kagome gasped. _No._ She thought she could literally see Kouga being shredded to pieces by Sesshoumaru's long sharp claws, or the remnants of his dissolved body in a pool of vaporizing green slime.

"Your woman!" Jaken screamed. Rin was shivering in fear, whilst Sesshoumaru seemed unperturbed and calm.

"Aa aa! So don't stop me, not as if you can..." Kouga threw a disdainful look at Jaken and turned to her, "Kagome, let's go back to my cave! You still don't look well to me, and I can smell him all over you."

Her gaze flitted nervously from Kouga to Sesshoumaru, and then back to Kouga as she gave him an incredulous stare. Inuyasha had always kicked up a BIG hooha when Kouga held her hands or said that she was his woman. But Sesshoumaru was so quiet and cool and she wondered whether it was because he was not Inuyasha, or that it was the calm before the storm. It was quite alright to let Kouga say whatever he wanted in front of Inuyasha since she knew that Kouga would never win nor lose to Inuyasha. In any case, she could just yell out her command and the nenju no kotodama around Inuyasha's neck would bring a stop to everything.

With Sesshoumaru, she was not sure whether Kouga would escape uninjured if he ever struck. There was no rosary around the taiyoukai's neck and it was highly unlikely that he would listen to her, not that Inuyasha had ever did. All of them were stiff-necked, arrogant creatures who could not allow their ego to get crushed no matter what. She sighed to herself why she was surrounded by such males. She was so unlucky. Houjou seemed to be the only gentleman, and suddenly she found him very appealing and suitable as a potential boyfriend.

"Kouga... I wish to travel with Sesshoumaru..." she squirmed and tried to remove her hands from his, before they got cut off and presented as a gift to her.

"Naze? You belong to me, not him. You don't have to follow him," he said it as-a-matter-of-factly and his iron-like grasp did not relent at all.

"Kagome," Sesshoumaru quelled the hideous monster inside of him and stretched out his right arm. She had not acknowledged what the ookami had said and it was obvious to him that she felt uncomfortable with this Kouga. He would hold his temper like a dignified lord and well brought-up being, unless the ookami stepped over the boundaries. Kouga was obviously her friend too, and again this proved his theory that she not only attracts insects and pests, but also insignificant and weak youkai like Kouga.

She looked at the outstretched rigid arm forlornly. "Kouga... I really need to go..."

"Doushite? You are my woman, why are you following him?" he asked back, hurt blatant in his voice now.

"For the second time, she is **NOT** your woman you imprudent ookami!" Jaken stomped Nintoujou agitatedly into the ground and contemplated whether he should release a blast of fire at the ookami's head.

"Urusai! I have laid the claim to her a long time ago, what do you know of!" Kouga yelled back.

"Kouga-" her voice sounded frail and helpless. She was.

"You stupid ookami! Did she agree then!" Jaken's voice was reaching a very high note that sounded like chalk on blackboard, his eyes darting to his taiyoukai-lord for a moment to seek permission to continue. But Sesshoumaru's expression was unreadable, and Jaken's insides flinched a little at his fear of what was going on inside his mind.

"Jaken-" she was cut off again, and a small part of her brain mused to herself that perhaps she was no longer needed there.

"And what are you exactly? Toad? Frog?" Kouga released her hands and folded his arms, a look of conceit all over his smug face.

That was it. She had been interrupted so many times and not given a chance to explain herself clearly to anyone. Now that Kouga and Jaken were quarrelling over her, she had to put a stop to it and make clear her status and stand. Sesshoumaru was being so quiet that it both unnerved and worried her. She could only hope that no blood would be shed and that everyone would be on their way peacefully and in one piece.

"MINNA!" Kagome flung her arms out in utter frustration, stomped her feet and shouted as loudly as she could.

Jaken and Kouga instantly turned their stunned faces to her while their jaws dropped. Sesshoumaru's eyebrow arched up in genuine surprise while Rin's eyes widened considerably, her fear of Kouga for a moment displaced by Kagome's sudden outbreak of temper. She had never seen her so angry and agitated before.

"Kouga listen! I am NOT your woman! Yes you did tell me that a long time ago, but I never once agreed. Onegai, do not continue this anymore. I will not follow you, we are friends Kouga. Good friends," her wagging finger dropped to a pleading look in her deep brown eyes.

Jaken let out a 'see what I told you' look and noise, and folded his arms smugly and looked away. Rin's lips parted while Sesshoumaru's stoic mask never left his face. He felt some sort of relief when he heard what she had said. If Kagome really did belong to that ookami, he would have to fight and kill him, which was not something that he wanted to do in front of her eyes. He knew that killing was terrifying to a ningen, no matter how mess-free and clean he could do it. It was the notion of it, and the nightmares that followed. He did not wish to put Kagome through such circumstances, she was afterall the purest thing that he had ever known of.

Kouga's head hunched forward and his black bangs covered his eyes as he tried to swallow Kagome's words. Did she really mean what she said? Did she not love him at all? Her words seemed to pierce through his heart while he tried to take it all in. Kagome was always so nice and pleasant to him, never rejecting his claim that he thought that she was really waiting, for him to finish his clan's business and revenge before taking her away and claming her as his.

"Honto?" Kouga asked dejectedly. To hear this directly from her mouth was more than devastating. He had pinned the rest of his hopes on Kagome; something to look forward to once Naraku is destroyed. Perhaps he had not spent enough time with her to show that he truly loved and cared for her. He would be a better mate than Inuyasha; he was so sure of that.

Kagome diverted her eyes away to the ground, quite unable to look at his hurt face and nodded. She did not want to be so outright and direct for she knew Kouga would definitely be disappointed and upset. But this was getting nowhere, no, it was getting out of hand since Sesshoumaru was with her. She could not allow any shred of doubt going on in his head since she knew that the difference between both possessive inu-brothers was that Inuyasha would not kill Kouga, but Sesshoumaru would. He would not spare a thought for enemies, nor insolent youkai who crossed his paths. She could only hope that Kouga would leave as soon as possible before he lose his life for a silly cause like her.

He seemed to pause for a long while; he had indeed lost to Inuyasha. "Kagome, come with me. I will help you find Inuyasha."

Her head jerked up; while he balled his only fist at the mention of his otouto's name.

"Iie! I will return to Inuyasha later, I... I need to travel with Sesshoumaru for now," she replied nervously and gulped when she saw his narrowed golden eyes, squared jaw and the slight tensed look on his face, which seemed to lend a dangerous edge to his beautiful youkai markings.

"Oi! I'm bringing Kagome back to Inuyasha- wahhhhh!" Kouga leaped back when he suddenly saw a bright green whip hurling towards him. Had he hesitated for a second, not even the Shikon no kakkera in his legs would prevent his body being sliced into half.

"Temee... don't you think that I am afraid to fight with you, even if you are Inuyasha's brother!" Kouga yelled out as he bent forward a little on his knees, all ready for battle.

"Yamete kudasai!" Kagome cried out when Sesshoumaru dashed forward in a blur of white to the ookami. This was seriously getting out of her hands; she had to stop them before something happened. Something so terrible that she might not be able to reverse the consequences.

But the taiyoukai ignored her and using his senses to locate the ookami, he hurled his youki whip again at him. He had to move Kouga away from Kagome, before he could test out the powers of Toukijin lest he hurt her. Kouga could see the relentless whipping that Sesshoumaru was aiming at him and the bright green acid-youki broke the half-frozen surface of the lake into large floating pieces as it made angry sizzling noises. It seemed to him that Sesshoumaru was blind since his gaze was not on him but he could not understand why. Anyhow, this was getting dangerous and his common senses were urging him to leave. But he would not leave in the middle of a battle when it concerned Kagome. He had lost face in front of the taiyoukai and he did not want to concede defeat by slipping away quietly. Somehow he felt that he needed to prove himself before her after all that talk. He did not want Kagome to think him as a coward, not at all.

"You are blind, aren't you!" Kouga leaped into the air and tried to balance on one of the floating chunks of ice, while Kagome ran as fast as she could to Sesshoumaru and held onto his top like a crazy fan, "onegai, yame ro!"

"Whether I am blind or not does not increase your chances against me. You will never win this Sesshoumaru, ookami," he purposely placed extra emphasis on the last word and smirked. He was not going to let Kouga get away no matter what. He had compared him to Inuyasha, and had even caused Kagome distress. He would not remain silent about this matter and let the ookami think that he had gotten the better of him. Kouga was just an ookami-youkai, one who lived in the mountains with messily-bred clans while he was the eldest born of Inu no Taisho, and a taiyoukai to boot.

Kagome bit hard on her lower lip and frowned. Both males were inciting each other on, and both would not listen to her. There had to be something that she could do.

"Ho? Let's see!" Kouga leaped into the air and delivered a kick to his face. But Sesshoumaru ducked at the last minute and flung out his youki whip, hoping to catch hold of the ookami's legs. Kouga instantly flipped over and with another jump, landed safely on another floating chunk of frozen ice. But the retrieval of his youki whip had broken off the part of ice that Kagome was standing on and now the three of them were out in the middle of a lake, separate from each other. She let out a gasp of shock at her luck for not being sliced into half and tried to balance on the rocking ice like a clown standing on a ball.

"Kagome-neesan!" Rin yelled out, Kagome looked afraid. Although she knew that there was no need to since Sesshoumaru-sama was with her.

"So is this all you can show me?" Kouga sneered. Sesshoumaru said nothing but took out Toukijin and gave it a big wave as his arm moved from the left to the right. A bright burst of cackling blue energy emerged forth from the demonic blade, "Souryuuha!"

Kouga's eyes widened, Sesshoumaru's katana was as dangerous as Inuyasha's. Was that his inheritance too? He jumped high into the air and flipped forward to the blind taiyoukai. Before Sesshoumaru knew it, Kouga twirled in the air and managed to deliver a hard kick to the back of his head. Sesshoumaru flung Toukijin onto the ice and sat on his knees in order to prevent himself from tipping over into the lake.

"Sesshoumaru, daijoubu desu ka!" Kagome yelled out, she could see that he was in pain and the back of his silver hair was stained a little red. _"He's bleeding!"_

"Hah!" Kouga flipped back to the safe grounds of the shore and steadied himself as he put a hand to the ground. "I did not even take out my katana!" he continued on smugly, while Jaken and Rin retreated wisely to the far back with Ah-Un glaring at him.

Sesshoumaru placed a hand behind his head and frowned as he gritted his teeth hard, the ookami was too fast and he could not see. The excruciating pain was making his head dizzy and he could feel something sticky and warm on his hand; his own blood. He let out a rumbling growl; he knew that the ookami had no chances at all, not even touching him if he could see. He got to his feet, albeit a little shakily and tried to balance. The world seemed to spin at a wrong angle, rocking and swaying from side to side as his frown deepened while he tried to spread his senses and get a grip on the situation. He blinked thrice, giving his head a good shake while clasping his hand tightly to the back of his head all the while.

"Sesshoumaru! Answer me!" Kagome cried out, his dark red blood unnerved her. What if he sustained more head injuries? He already could not see! "Sesshoumaru! Daijoubu ka!"

"Kagome! Leave him!" Kouga folded his arms and shouted out in irritation. Had he not proven himself more capable of protecting her yet?

She spun around angrily and pointed her finger in the ookami's direction, "you! Did you want to- ahhhh!"

"Kagome!" Kouga yelled as she lost her balance and fell into the lake in a big splash.

"Kagome?" Sesshoumaru opened his eyes wide and instantly shut them. Light, strong bright white light flooded into his eyes and they hurt, so painful that he squeezed his eyes shut. The light was glaring, and he could see many small black dots circling round within his field of vision, making him feel dizzy and light-headed. It was as if he was being spun around like a wheel, in all directions at the same time.

"Help!" her head went into the water and she swallowed a big gulp of the icy water. Kagome kicked her legs hard and she resurfaced enough for her chin to go above the water level as she arched her neck up, "I cannot-" Down she went again, "swim!"

"NANI!" Kouga yelled again. He did not know how to swim either, and it was his biggest shame.

"Help..." air bubbled out from her opened mouth as the freezing temperature zapped away her strength and voice. She could only blame herself for not taking swimming lessons with Souta. She kicked her legs as hard as she could, but it seemed futile as the lake waters dragged her feet down. She cursed herself for her long hair, for the woollen sweater that she wore, and the suede shoes that made her as heavy as lead. She sank into the water fast, and she struggled desperately to keep her eyes open in the freezing waters. Kagome kept her mouth tightly sealed and tried to hold her breath for as long as possible. She never knew that the last thing she would see before her death was the fishes that swam lazily around her, and they did not even give two hoots to the sudden intruder into their waters. Pathetic, she tried to joke to herself.

But her lungs were dying for air, and she could no longer hold her breath even for one more second. She opened her mouth and drank more water in, but there was no air for her deprived lungs and brain. Kagome blinked dazedly, as her hands floated around weightlessly while she sank deeper into the bottom of the deep lake. She thought of Sesshoumaru, whether he was alright, whether he loved her or not, and whether she would die here in this lake alone.

Kagome kicked hard helplessly, it felt awful. She wanted air, nothing but air. It was as if she could feel water rushing down her throat, into her lungs, seeping into every single pore and gushing through every artery and vein of her body. No, she could not die here. She had yet to tell Sesshoumaru that she loves him again, she had not spent enough time with him, and neither had she hugged him enough yet. There was so much she wanted to do and say, so much. And the stars, she had promised him to watch the stars together.

"Sesshou... maru..." she could not hear anything at all; water seemed to fill her ears too, drowning out the sensation of everything other than the horrible painful need for air and the numbness of her limbs. She blinked, and thought that she saw something both bright and dark above her. It seemed like a pair of eyes, gleaming brightly at her amidst the casted dark shadow of his body from the surface, resembling vaguely like an elongated giant hybrid between octopus and shark. Kagome blinked again, and suddenly she saw a thousand spots of magical bright lights all around her, with weird irregular length sparkling spikes extending out of them.

_Stars_, her incoherent brain told her.

Light then went out in her mind like a switch.

The iciness stung his eyes, yet he gritted his teeth, held his breath and opened them as wide as possible to look for Kagome. He had no idea how she looked, but he was sure that she would be the only person he would see half-drowning in this lake. When he had sighted her, Kagome was looking at him dazedly, before her eyelids shut and her struggling ceased. He allowed himself a blink and hurled out his right arm, grasping her wrist tight and swam as fast as he could up to the surface before he lost her to the darkness of the waters. She had sunk deep into the lake and even he himself would be out of breath soon if he was not quick enough.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin squealed happily when she sighted her youkai lord's face emerging out from the lake. Sesshoumaru took a deep breath and heaved Kagome up from the lake surface, wrapping his waterlogged pelt over her neck and swam to the shores wearily. The back of his head still hurt, his eyes were stinging and the ends of his fingers were almost numb from the prolonged search for Kagome. When he had finally got himself and her onto the shores, he immediately laid Kagome on the ground and took a quick look at her.

It was the first time he had seen any being after he had regained his vision. And it was Kagome. But not the way he had expected it. Nothing went through his mind other than to save her, no matter how she looked. Her face was deathly white, and her half-parted lips were bluish-tinged. He could see her heavy dark wet eyelashes resting on her high pale cheekbones and he thought she looked scarily beautiful in a way too, with her raven hair splayed out messily underneath her fragile lithe body.

Sesshoumaru slapped her cheeks gently, "Kagome. Kagome."

She did not respond, and her cheeks felt horribly cold and clammy to his almost numbed fingers.

"Kagome..." Kouga knelt at the side and frowned. Before he could muster up enough guts to jump into the lake, Sesshoumaru had dived in without any hesitation. He was glad that she was brought up, and ashamed at the same time that his fear of the waters had stalled him from saving Kagome. Without a word, Sesshoumaru flung out his string of youki at the ookami and Kouga was forced to flip backwards and away.

"Leave us!" Jaken shouted out, with tears brimming at the edge of his yellow eyes.

"Kagome-neesan..." Rin called out sadly, she did not want her to die. Kagome-neesan had to live. The story of Hauru and Sophie was not finished yet. She would feel cold in that place, there was no warmth for her when she went there.

His golden eyes narrowed, and he placed his right palm over her left breast, he almost could not feel any of her heartbeats nor her miko aura. His eyebrows dipped to the center, and he flipped Kagome over his right thigh while he knelt on the ground, giving her back a hard whack. He had not saved a drowning person before, and it was all that he could do to try and force out the water from her lungs. He repeated the action several more times, but no water came out from her mouth other than their dripping hair. She was non-responsive, motionless, and terribly cold and heavy. Her hands hung down lifelessly and she made no noise even though Sesshoumaru continued to thump hard on her back. She was as heavy, and as dead as his waterlogged pelt.

His heart twisted around itself terribly, and he thought that he could not breathe too. He stared at her back, not knowing what to do. He had never felt so helpless before, and he knew that it was his fault that Kagome drowned. Why had he not shed his pelt before he dived in? He could have swum faster. Why did he lose his cool over that ookami and presumed that she would stay away from their fight? Did he not understand her well enough that she would undoubtedly interfere? And what was she thinking of before she closed her eyes, right in front of him? Was she afraid? Was she sad? Was she angry with him?

He wanted to tell her that he could now see, he could tell her all the colours of life around him, and that she would have to watch the stars with him one day. They would not wait for the meteor shower. He wanted to apologize to her, for his tardiness, for his lack of words, for his non-committal answers. He would always carry her on his back whenever she liked, always let her sleep with him no matter how his shoulders ached, and would shove every bit of food that she prepared for him into his mouth without any hesitations, silent grudges nor complaints.

But a lump rose in his throat, and even though his lips parted, no words came forth. He could see his own breath smoking out from his mouth, he could feel his claws digging a little into her icy dead shoulder, and he could feel something hot and wet sliding around his eye rims.

No, she could not die and leave him alone.

He swallowed, the horrible coil around his heart seemed to have grown into a python and the spikes were like little double-edged knives as they stabbed deeply into the pulsating organ. Tenseiga rustled beside his obi, and he could feel something calling out to him, like a pulse that seemed to shake him out from his trance.

_No_, he relaxed his grip over her shoulder, _don't do this to me._

_No_, he moved his hand down to the place where her heart would rest, _I will give you whatever you want._

_No_, he slapped his hand down, hard on her back, _come back to me._

"Kagome, okiru," he slapped hard on her back.

"Don't play with me, this is not a game anymore," was he assuring himself? He shook that thought out from his mind, and gave another sharp slap. There was no time for any self-doubts now.

Then they heard a noise, and all let out a breath of relief as Kagome jerked, spasmed, choked and spurted out water. Sesshoumaru's watery eyes widened and he continued to slap hard until she could not spew out anymore lake water. He turned her around and brought her up to him, pressing her cold shaking body to his as he moved his right hand up and down on her back, trying to warm her up.

"Kagome-neesan!" Rin's happy tears flowed down while Jaken turned around and sniffed on his sleeves. Kouga smiled bitterly and walked away in silence. He now knew why Kagome had wanted to leave with the inu-taiyoukai. No, she loved neither Inuyasha nor him, it was Sesshoumaru who held her heart.

"Sa..sa.. sa-samui..." Kagome mumbled subconsciously as she shivered fiercely against him. He smiled despite her involuntary shaking and she latching onto his warm body so desperately. He pulled her away, and placed his lips firmly over her pale trembling lips that were not so bluish anymore, kissing her as hard and furiously as he could.

Jaken instantly clapped his webbed hands over Rin and closed his eyes, dragging the struggling, protesting little girl away. He knew that Sesshoumaru would not want them to see this scene, and it would be unwise to provoke his wrath now that he could see. But somehow, somewhat, he was glad. For both his lord and the miko.

Her deep brown shocked irises flew open when she felt someone kissing her. It was so hard and rough, so hot and needy that she stared at his nose and crescent moon for a while before it registered in her mind that 'someone' was Sesshoumaru. Before she could react, he pulled away and looked at her lips; they were no longer pale but pink and rosy again. He let out another smile and pulled Kagome to his chest again, rubbing his palm fiercely up and down her stiff back.

"You gave me a fright," he said out calmly, even though his heart was beating very fast. He did not understand why his vision was blurring.

She silently sneaked her icy hands inside his top, desperately stealing his warmth as she wrapped them around his back.

"Daijoubu, I am with you," he closed his eyes, the coil and the spikes had all vanished, miraculously. The tear-drop hung at the end of his lashes precariously, but did not fall.

She closed her eyes, and drifted heavily off to sleep on his warm chest, not understanding what had happened.

* * *

A/N: My eyes teared when I wrote the last part... Did you? And Sesshoumaru-sama finally regains his sight. Things will move faster from now on.

The title and idea was inspired when I was listening to the soundtracks of Howl's Moving Castle, which is also the little story that Kagome tells Rin. The next update would probably be slower, since I'm having what is commonly called 'writer's block'. I prefer to see it as... restricted flow of mental data from hyper-excitation and over-exertion of neurons. Which of course, is totally incorrect. (Spare me! Trouble in Shangri-La and Parsnip!)

Also, many distractions are coming up, some of which are insane addictions (or obssessions!) to Bleach (er, the manga, not chlorox) and my Japanese studies. I have a life you know. ;p

Some sweet readers have asked me for mailing updates, but I find it a little silly to create a yahoo group just for this; and a little embarrassing to email through the kagsess group constantly. Er, I will post an update in my LJ account once I update. Can?

Ja... see you at Chapter 22! Mata ne! (gives you a face-splitting smile and waves bye bye like Ichimaru Gin!)

green slime: When Howl throws tantrums in the novel, his body starts to transform and emits copious amount of green slime.


	22. Chapter 22

**The Mad Game.**

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Glossary:

taijiya - youkai exterminator  
ane-ue - respectful way of addressing one's elder sister  
kusarigama - sickle-scythe weapon that Kohaku uses  
tamashi - soul  
ano - excuse me  
yokatta - that's great/Im so relieved  
ookami - wolf  
iie - no  
arigatou - thanks  
hanasu - speak  
chichi-ue - respectful way of addressing one's elder father  
Shikon no kakkera - Shikon shards  
hamaya - purifying arrow  
mitte - look  
demo - but  
dakara - therefore  
houshi-sama - monk (buddhist)

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**"Everyone is more or less mad at one point."**

**- Rudyard Kipling  
**

* * *

Kohaku drew his legs in, draped both his arms over them and leaned back on the tree.

Today had been very tiring for him. He felt as if all his emotions had been leached out. 

Instead of searching for Mouryoumaru, they had gone back to the once prosperous taijiya-village; the town where he was born, where he had grown up, and where he had once trained under his father. He did not really want to go back for it brought back painful bittersweet memories that he did not want to acknowledge. He knew that it was not right, but sometimes the quickest way to escape from too-intense-pain and too-many-regrets was to live in self-denial.

Deceiving oneself was both easy and hard. His eyelids drooped as he recalled the days when he would play with his ane-ue and Kirara. _Those carefree, happy days are gone_, he told himself firmly. His heart was as shredded as the mauve-coloured clouds that drifted aimlessly above his head. Memories belonged to the past, whereas happiness was something one looked forward to in the future.

He?

He could not stay in the past, for he would not be able to forgive himself. To look towards the future was futile too, since there would be none for him.

The plan of his life had already been laid out for him the moment when his kusarigama swung through his father's neck. Therefore, he lived in the present and would die in the present. Dealing with the heavy chain of guilt around his neck and the dagger of remorse in his soul was taxing enough. Every step that he took, every mouthful of air that went into his lungs was painful and heavy. He was like a prisoner living in an oxygen-limited coal mine, dragging a lead-ball chained to his ankles. There was never enough light for his eyes.

And the only form of relief was to sacrifice himself for a bigger and better cause.

He knew she did not understand; neither did her friends. They did not think it was necessary for him to give his life up over an evil like Naraku. They believed that it could be done otherwise without any sacrifices. But she could not see that even until now, he was being selfish and had done it for his own sake.

_I am selfish,_ Kohaku reprimanded himself.

But he would lose his mind, lose his sanity and lose his heart to the darkness that surrounded and enveloped his soul if he was not selfish. How else would he be able to even fractionally atone for his unforgivable crimes and lessen the sins on his bloodied hands?

He shook his head; the horrible, horrible images would never leave him alone. The darkness was like a poisonous serpent; constantly baring its fangs before him, twisting itself around his arms, stifling him until he choked for air. Only by diverting his mind to his ane-ue or his goal would he be able to drive the serpent away.

_"Ane-ue..."_ He closed his eyes and smiled sadly. He could remember the brilliant smile on her face when he gave her the bouquet of wild lilies, the way she ruffled his hair messily, and the way she teased about his _'adorable'_ freckles.

His hand unconsciously reached up to his own face, and he rubbed his cheekbone a little. She had loved his freckles. Did he still have them? He had not dared to look into his own image for such a long time that he could not remember when the last time he had done so was.

"Kohaku."

The young taijiya was instantly shaken out from his train of thoughts and answered politely, "Hai."

"Rest early," Kikyou let her eyelids fall while her Shinidama Chuu dropped another round sphere of glowing tamashi into her body. The moonlight was weak tonight and she preferred it this way. She belonged to the darkness and reveled in it, because only then, she would be the saving light.

Kohaku nodded his head silently and narrowed his eyes. Kikyou-sama had been looking extremely weary these last few days, and he supposed that the trip back to his hometown was needed. They had not stayed in the village, but merely ventured nearby enough for the soul-stealers to extract Midoriko-sama's soul from the holy cave. Perhaps this was a good time to ask questions.

"Kikyou-sama?"

The undead miko's lashes fluttered a little, but her eyes remained shut. "Hmm?"

"Ano... do you hate Kagome-sama?"

Her black onyx irises flew open at his question. She was neither angry nor offended, just surprised. Kohaku was a boy of few words, and he seemed to obey commands more than he thought or talked, but she knew how he felt inwardly though. He was the cause of his own guilt, whereas she was the product of someone else's guilt.

"Sometimes," she replied honestly. There were times when she felt like putting her arrow through Kagome's heart, but there were times when she felt a shred of gratitude, for the change in Inuyasha that she had longed to see when butterflies used to land on her outstretched hand.

He nodded again, "Would you harm Kagome-sama?"

Kikyou's back stiffened, and she glanced downwards; he was leaning against the tree that she was currently resting in the branches of.

Kohaku wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his knee-caps. "Kikyou-sama, please do not harm Kagome-sama. My ane-ue... needs Kagome-sama and her friendship."

Her lips parted and her eyes rounded. It was a simple request, but there was so much in it that she felt a sliver of sympathy and empathy for the young taijiya sitting beneath her. For someone as young as he, life had been unforgiving and tough. Perhaps even more than hers.

"Rest early," Kikyou closed her eyes and thought of Inuyasha and Kagome. She could give no promises, since she was no longer alive to keep them.

* * *

Kanna and Byakuya stared at the new attachment, both wondering to themselves what was her specialty since she was not armed with anything other than the simple yukata on her body. iDid she fight bare-handed then/i Byakuya thought to himself and noted that there was no flow of youki around her at all. 

"Kanna, seek out Sesshoumaru and kill him," Naraku gestured lazily with his hand.

The nihility youkai's eyes widened considerably at his command; was he indirectly sending her to Hell?

"Chiyo will go with you. You only have to lead her. She's rather clueless..." he smirked, fully confident in his newest creation's abilities. She had not disappointed him in their battle, and he was sure that she would accomplish her first task with no glitches.

Kanna nodded her head obediently and quietly slipped away with an equally silent Chiyo following with a blank look in her crimson eyes.

The illusionist youkai kept his vision trained on both females until they vanished from his sight. _Chiyo_, Byakuya thought that the name was rather poetic, and strange too considering Naraku's sadistic nature.

"Naraku, what about me?" he inquired, the disappointment blatant in his feminine voice.

Byakuya thought that by now he would have gained more of Naraku's trust. He had after all risked his life to turn against Kanna even though she was still kept in the dark. Naraku had promised he would retrieve his soul from Kanna's mirror, although Byakuya did not really believe that he wuld fufill his end of the agreement. Still, that was an important piece of strategic information for the hanyou to digest and would thereby grant him a limited amount of Naraku's pitiful trust.

This was what Byakuya had aimed for all along, although he highly doubted that Naraku would trust anyone other than himself. But it was always wiser and better to side with the stronger side, and for now, Naraku was a stronger ally compared to the inu-brothers. He was determined to be the human who controlled the cat; not the cat itself, not the mouse-trap, or worse, the doomed mouse.

The master smiled as his eyes glinted heavily in the dark, "I have plans for you."

Byakuya arched both his eyebrows in glee as his lips curled. The mad game had finally started.

* * *

Sesshoumaru brushed a stray lock of her bangs away from her eyes and traced over the soft curtain of her eyelashes with the tip of his forefinger. 

_They are long, like mine_, he mused to himself and rested his hand gently on her cheeks while his thumb caressed it softly. Her soft pale-pink lips were slightly parted, and saliva was threatening to spill from one corner of her mouth. He pulled the blanket up a bit and wiped off the drool.

She still looked endearing to him; even in this unkempt, unladylike and sickly state. Life suddenly seemed very fragile and fleeting, like a sparrow that would fly away once the door to the cage is opened.

He smoothed out the slight crease in her forehead and grinned, s_he even frowns in her sleep._

Kagome was no beauty, nor bestowed with the goddess-like figure that he recalled ishe/i had. Her nose was a little flat at the tip, her ears were a little too open, her chest was not very well developed, and her hips were a little too wide for her small frame.

_"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder huh?"_ Sesshoumaru never really understood that saying until today as he gazed upon her pleasant, angelic-like face. Yes, was she not an angel to him? Did she not melt the chains that he had bound himself up with? Had she not released his soul from the inner prison that he had created for himself? She was like a life-saving link, between his buried, painful past and dreary, egocentric present. Her near-death had shaken him up more than he had thought it would, and at that dreadful moment, he was afraid that his spirit would break if she had died.

He shifted himself nearer to her, not wanting to disturb her sleep and rested her face against his bare chest. She had been shivering for so many hours that he decided to use his body to warm her up. Kagome had responded unconsciously to his body heat and clung onto him so tightly that her nails left fading half-crescent marks on his back. He had wrapped his body over hers for a whole day until her trembling finally ceased. It had worried him initially that she had not regained consciousness but decided that it was alright for her to sleep and for her body to recuperate. Her breathing was fine and her skin was no longer that deathly shade of pale.

Sesshoumaru rested his chin on her head and wished that he had two arms. He would be able to hug her properly then, to cup both her cheeks and to hold both her soft hands at once. He closed his eyes as he rubbed his hand lazily up and down her smooth back. The troubling, emotional knots in his heart had been untied and done with; he not only saw light and the colours of the world, but also many other things that he had been blinded to before. It was as if the earth had been re-painted in an array of dazzling rainbow colours; bright, fresh and full of warm hope.

"Kagome, what sorcery did you use over this Sesshoumaru?" he weaved his fingers into her wavy tresses and whispered.

"Nnnggg..."

His golden eyes snapped open, and he pulled away, "Kagome?"

She stirred a little and tried to pry open her eyelids. But they seemed to be stuck to each other, and she wished that she could have some water for her dry, parched throat. Then she felt something soft pressed over her one of her closed eyes which was accompanied by a familiar, pleasant masculine scent. It reminded her somewhat of the forest, wild green lush forests under a midnight starry sky.

"Sesshoumaru?" her voice sounded hoarse, and she wondered why. Had she slept for very long?

He removed his lips and placed another dry kiss on her rosy cheeks, "Kagome, open your eyes."

Upon hearing his voice, it was as if strength instantly flowed back into her body. She opened her eyes and saw that Sesshoumaru was leaning on his left stump, right in front of her. All that went through her mind was the gladness and relief that he was alright. Kouga had not injured him. He looked sane and fine. He did not look bloody too.

"Sesshoumaru!"

Kagome lunged forward and locked her arms around his neck, hugging him as tightly as she could. She thought that she had almost lost Sesshoumaru to death again, that she might not be able to see him and that she might never be able to watch stars with him. Her hand frantically reached up to the back of his head, ruffling his hair up and down to feel for any hidden injuries or wounds. There was none, and she let out tears of joy, "Yokatta..."

He stiffened a little when Kagome suddenly flung herself at him, but instantly relaxed when he felt her trying to assess him for any injuries. It touched his heart deeply, that the first thing on her mind when she woke up was whether he was alright or not. All thanks to the ookami, he could now see and it was as if all of his five senses were sharpened a thousand times.

But his delicate black eyebrows dipped to the center when he heard her crying. He brought her up with him and patted her back in a fatherly manner. He did not like to see her cry in his presence. Everything should be happy and blissful when she was with him, nothing should upset her. She was the axis that his world spun on, and if she cried, it was as if his skies would be gloomy and cloudy.

He hated rain. It blurred his field of vision, his clothes and hair would be soaked, the ground would get muddy and dirty, it would hamper his traveling and he did not carry an umbrella with him. The depressing rain would inevitably get into his sensitive eyes, and he might tear, too.

"Kagome, I am fine."

"Yokatta..." Kagome repeated to herself again and smiled; the uncontrollable tears continued to spill from her eyes. The emotional stress was just too much for her, like pressure constantly building within a small rigid box, scratching at the edges of the square hollow to be let out.

She let her arms drop to his shoulders and tightened her grip. She had dreamt of him floating lifelessly; face down on the surface of water as she watched the blood ooze from the numerous gashes on his body. The sight of his corpse was both heart-wrenching and terrifying. She could see his remaining arm which was almost severed, and his exposed youkai heart trying so hard to beat in the cold waters. His dark blood spiraled down towards her, seemingly clouding her sight while it filled her mouth. She had tried yelling his name, but dark bubbles came out from nowhere and further blurred her vision of him.

It was a nightmare, she tried to reassure and calm herself down now that he was real and alive before her. She remembered that she had almost drowned in the lake. She recalled the pair of gleaming eyes, the bright twinkling stars she saw in the waters, and the words that she wanted to say.

"I love you, Sesshoumaru. I love you," Kagome buried her face into his silver mass and whispered to it desperately. She was afraid that she would not have the chance again. Time was running out; she would have to leave him soon. In a few more days, the New Year would arrive. The top portion of the hourglass was almost emptied.

His golden irises widened for a moment and his lips parted. He wanted to reply her, to say something to make her feel better. "I..."

"Iie, don't say anything," she hastily intervened. She did not need him to declare anything, nor comfort her. She only wanted to be with him, irregardless whether they were dressed or naked. _Soon, soon_, she repeated to herself again and again. The more she thought of the dawn when she had to slip away quietly, the tighter her hug became. Her fingernails dug into her palms, her eyes were squeezed shut. If she could not see, and did not move, then perhaps Time would come to a standstill and stretch just a bit more around them.

His brows dropped and he slipped his arm around her slim waist. He felt oddly... powerless.

He was as useless as Inuyasha, he analyzed carefully. And his crimes ought to have been greater since he was a full-blooded youkai, the Prince to the Western Lands. Kagome fell over the cliff, got shot by a hamaya, fell sick, and almost drowned when she was with him. He doubted that she ever came so close to death when she was with Inuyasha. Three times! It was unthinkable, really.

Perhaps he would not be able to protect her as well as he had originally thought. He sighed to himself. Perhaps, he should let her go back to Inuyasha. He wondered why the heavens had brought Kagome to save him. Was Fate cruel? He blamed himself for not being attentive enough, for not being strong enough, and for making her feel like this. Her non-demanding love for him made him feel small. Very small, and inadequate.

Fate was cruel, and heartless, he affirmed himself.

Everything used to revolve around him. He was the epicenter of his own life. He constructed and altered his universe according to his whims and desires. Now, his thoughts and emotions ran and spun around another human. His universe was no longer solely his; it wanted to merge and meld with hers. They had gone through so much within such a short period that he felt as if he was living out a dream. And now that he could finally come to terms with his love for her, Reason and Logic told him that she should not be with him, because he was a youkai and she was a ningen. There were some rules that were never meant to be broken, and he knew because he had lived for a very, very long time.

"Sesshoumaru, arigatou," her tears stopped flowing.

He narrowed his eyes a little, and frowned. Why was she thanking him? Should it not be him apologizing to her?

But he did not ask, and she did not continue.

Kagome rested her head on the square of his shoulders, ignoring the blatant fact that she could feel the skin-to-skin contact and let her eyelids fall. She was weary, exhausted and spent. Crying, and trying not to go full force took a lot of energy. She did not want to look so weak in front of him, yet she could not hold back her tears. Her box was opened. All the pent-up emotions had been released bit by bit, like the fireflies she had seen with him.

"Kagome, you should sleep," that seemed to him the most logical thing to say. It was also the only thing he could think of.

She shook her head violently.

He frowned. Something was wrong with her. He would need to find out, before he let her go.

She frowned. Whatever little time she had with him was supremely precious, before she had to leave.

Both remained silent as they pressed their chests firmly together; their hearts beating to each other's rhythm.

From the corner of the straw hut, a pair of fireflies circled around each other before flying away in separate directions.

* * *

"Toutousai?" Kagome cocked her head to one side and wondered why the old, cranky sword-smith was here. He had avoided Sesshoumaru like the plague in the past, and she could not understand why he had bravely sought out the taiyoukai. 

"Kagome?" the old geezer scratched his head and his bulging eyes traveled shiftily to and fro between Sesshoumaru to Kagome. Did the sun now set on the east, or had the world been inverted upside down, inside out?

"Hanasu," Sesshoumaru presumed that he should know the old man who was sitting in front of a ridiculous-looking three-eyed bull-youkai before him, since Kagome did not chase him away nor break into a hysterical fit.

"Tenseiga called out to me; I've come to make it into a weapon," Toutousai narrowed his eyes a little at the fidgeting miko and thought that he might understand what had brought about the change in Sesshoumaru. "And what happened to your armour and haori?"

The taiyoukai ignored his question, narrowed his calculating eyes and fingered the hilt of Tenseiga in his silk obi. Weapon? Could he transform Tenseiga into a weapon? Toutousai seemed like a third-grade sword-smith with that long odd hammer slung over his shoulder.

The old geezer promptly stuck his last finger into his nose and attempted to clear the debris while he continued, "Oi, you think I can't do it, is it?"

"What do you mean Tenseiga called to you? Is the sword able to do such a thing?" Sesshoumaru asked warily; for all he knew Toutousai could be a fraud.

The sword-smith unplugged his finger, gave it a careless wipe on his bull and folded his arms crossly, "I made Tenseiga! Of course I will know! Somehow, somewhere a change occurred in your heart, that you are able to feel something else. And that's the sign for me to transform Tenseiga into a weapon. That was Inu no Taisho's last wish, and did you not feel Tenseiga calling out to you!"

Sesshoumaru felt rage building up in his chest; how dare this old geezer insinuate and doubt his superior intelligence! But Kagome was around, and again, he did not wish to kill the arrogant sword-smith. Still, if what he had claimed was true, then perhaps he should hand Tenseiga over to him.

"And what if nothing happens to Tenseiga?" his voice sounded abnormally shrewd.

"Just give it to me! Once the sword is done, I will return it back to you!" Toutousai grumbled. When had the eldest son of Inu no Taisho turned into such a long-winded being?

"Toutousai, if you do not deliver what you said, then do not expect your head to sit on your shoulders anymore," Sesshoumaru issued out the warning as he handed his chichi-ue's heirloom to him. Kagome let out her long held breath when no blood was shed. She would have to find a more appropriate moment to talk to the sword-smith when he brought back the transformed Tenseiga, before news got to Inuyasha's ears.

* * *

Kanna wondered what kind of tricks Naraku had up his sleeve this time round. He normally would not send her out into the battlefield unless it was really required. But if Chiyo was as powerful as he had mentioned, then why did she need to show her face? Somehow, she could not shake off the feeling that something very, very bad was about to happen. 

From the corner of her eye, she saw that Chiyo was almost as empty as her, but in a different way that she was quite unable to put her finger to. She did not feel safe around Chiyo; in fact, she felt as if her life was in constant danger. Had Naraku gotten news of her intended betrayal? Or had Byakuya given her away? She fingered the rim of her magical mirror while she thought hard.

Yes, she would need to seek out Sesshoumaru now. She would pledge her allegiance to him and get him to dispose Chiyo, if that was possible. Naraku did not trust her now, and she knew that it was a matter of time before suspicion got to her paranoid master.

The nihility youkai wondered what tasks had Byakuya been assigned as she kept a watchful eye on Chiyo, who seemed to be doing nothing except looking at her bare toes.

Kanna stared at the glowing Shikon no kakkera embedded within her forehead. "Chiyo."

She stopped looking at her feet and lifted her expressionless face. Kanna realized that her eyes were not blank at all, but rather keen and hungry in a frightful way, as if she was custom-made for battling and warring.

"Do not strike until I say so," Kanna emphasized softly.

Chiyo paused for a while; the commands given out were conflicting. Which one should she obey?

"Do you understand?" Kanna had to make sure.

Chiyo cocked her head a little to the left and remembered. She would not have to strike until Byakuya had joined them. After what seemed like a long while, she finally nodded her head, much to Kanna's relief.

* * *

Kouga's dark cobalt eyes widened. Luck was simply not with him, to cross paths with the undead miko and her taijiya. 

"Oi, why did you harm Kagome!" he yelled out, careful to keep a safe distance between Kikyou and himself.

Kikyou's eyebrows arched up a little, was the ookami besotted with her, too?

"She was a hindrance." Kohaku flinched a little at her tone. She was not in a good mood today.

"Temee! What do you mean? You wanted to kill her then, huh!" Kouga gritted his teeth and bared his fangs. He had to do something for Kagome; how could he leave her murderer alone? Kagome was not safe as long as the undead miko continued to desecrate the face of this earth.

"Would it matter? We are just shells with souls, merely souls," Kikyou replied impassively. Kokaku tightened his grip over his kusarigama, ready to spring forth any moment when his mistress gave him the signal.

"Only you who are dead would think like that! If you dare to lay another finger on Kagome, I'll-"

"What would you do?" Kikyou interrupted and smiled. Without warning, Kohaku dashed forward and swung out his kusarigama towards the ookami.

Kouga's blue eyes darkened for a moment as realization dawned on him that she wanted his shards too. He flipped backwards instantly and could hear the dragging clinking noises that the sickle-chain made across the bare ground. Before he knew it, the taijiya boy had unleashed his weapon again and this time round, he suffered a large gash across his thigh.

He growled angrily, like a prey that had been driven to a corner. Maybe he should leave.

"Perhaps I should end this quickly for you," Kikyou's black pitiless eyes narrowed a fraction as she walked slowly towards him.

Kouga tensed, something was wrong. He wanted to leave, to flee, but he could not. The same force that had held him stationary had returned, and was ten times stronger. No matter how he struggled, the muscles in his legs did not obey his will. He grabbed both his hands to his ankles and tried to shift them, but nothing happened. It was as if his feet were glued to the ground.

"Do you still not understand? As long as you have the Shikon no kakkera in your body, it will be subjected to my command and spirit," her smile looked terrifying as Kouga's lips parted. iDanger/i

But the thought registered too late in his mind as Kikyou released her hamaya through his heart, while Kohaku turned his face away. He really did not want to see any more deaths.

* * *

"There is something that I want to show you," Sesshoumaru turned his face around and stretched out his arm. 

When Kagome saw the slight smile on his face, she returned with a heartfelt one and carefully weaved her fingers through his. She would always remember the feeling of holding his hand, she told herself. "Ee."

He closed his fingers over her small diminutive hand and walked towards her, "Close your eyes."

Her smile widened, and she closed her eyes obligingly, trying hard to dispel the sadness that was creeping behind her eyes.

She could feel the youki concentrating and gathering beneath her feet, and her body slowly whisked up into the skies like a balloon. She tightened her grip; she had always been a little afraid of heights. This time round, he gave her a reassuring gentle squeeze.

When they landed, he stood behind her and rested his hand on her right shoulder.

"Kagome, mitte."

She took a deep breath of the sharp cold air and opened her eyes.

It took a while, but once her eyes were adjusted to the amount of light, her lips parted.

They were in a big, wide cave with their backs to the entrance, with half-melting icicles of all sizes and woven in intricate patterns hanging down from the ceiling. In the dark, she could see the reflection of moonlight from the irregular surfaces of the crystallized ice spears. Hundreds of them, thousands of them, sparkled softly as drops of water resembling mini diamonds fell onto the ground, creating near and distant rippling echoes.

He tucked her wavy hair behind her right ear and whispered softly. "This Sesshoumaru cannot give you a meteor shower."

Kagome shook her head, folded her lips in and blinked. _No, don't cry._

"Demo, this is what I can do," his soft voice reverberated through the cave sadly.

She took a deep breath, and bit her trembling lower lip. The soft sparkles were blurring her vision. Her heart was burning and hurting intensely at the same time. She lowered her face, and heard her tears joining in with the rest of the fading echoes.

Sesshoumaru knew that she was crying, even though it was soundless. He wrapped his arm around her waist and lowered his chin on her sweet-smelling head. There was nothing he could do with her sadness, for it plagued him as much as it did her. It hurt him so much, that sometimes he wished angrily that she had not come to him or him to her. He felt helpless, and thought that helplessness was redundant too. They were both trapped in the twisting, ever-changing arms of Fate, acknowledging the fact that they could not escape nor alter the end-result no matter how stubborn they remained. No one said anything, but he knew that she knew, too.

"Dakara, you shall now watch the meteor shower with me," he held her hand and tried not to think when she would leave him.

But she could not see the meteor shower that he had prepared for her as hot tears coursed down her face and stained her top. The only thing that went through her mind was the inescapable fate that lay in front of them. _Star-crossed lovers_, she thought to herself how appropriate the term was as it popped into her mind, now that she was in this cave of frozen stars. She wished that Sesshoumaru would tell her that she was his, that everything would be alright, and that she would not need to leave him. Surely he knew; she had hinted non-verbally. And surely his soul knew, for her soul called out to him when they hugged. So why did he not assure her, nor comfort her?

But he spoke none of those, and instead asked her to see the meteor shower with him. Was this their inevitable destiny? Was Fate's purpose out to make them feel emptier than they had felt before? Was this the road she had unknowingly chosen when she jumped down the well into Sengoku Jidai, to meet Inuyasha, and then him? Her heart felt locked and heavy, very heavy. And she could not stop crying, no matter how she tried to comfort herself. The only way for her to not to feel all of these was to forget, but she knew that she could not, and would not be able to do it. Sesshoumaru was much too precious, to even let go of her memories with him.

She did not know how long they stood in the cave, until sunlight flooded the cave and she fell asleep against his chest. He carried the sleeping miko in his arm, and hoped that one day he would be able to remove the sadness that should not be with her; because only then, Kagome would be Kagome. His Kagome would smile and argue with him all day long.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes a little at the rising sun, which was throwing pale bluish light across the earth. Spring was on its way, while winter was leaving soon. Another day had flown by. He looked down at the woman-child in his arm, and decided that he would release his little sparrow from the cage that she was not meant to be in.

* * *

"Inuyasha!" Miroku yelled out as he steadied himself on Kirara behind Sango. "This might be a trap!" 

Sango narrowed her deep brown eyes at the mass of youkai flying before them, "Inuyasha! Houshi-sama is correct! We are following blindly!"

"Keh! Does it matter!" Inuyasha huffed and puffed in between his breaths and ran faster. Now that he had caught sight of Byakuya with a horde of youkai trailing behind him, he was not going to let them out of his sight.

"Demo, he's not attacking us!" Shippou screamed into the hanyou's ears as he held on to the collar of his fire-rat haori for his life.

Miroku frowned; something was definitely not right. Byakuya had appeared out from nowhere with a legion of lower-class youkai and instead of fighting them, he had turned around, seemingly to lead them to another place. It was obviously Naraku's intention and after the last incident with the illusionist youkai, he was beginning to feel that there was something more than it seemed.

"Inuyasha! Maybe we should not follow so near!" Miroku shouted, hoping that the hanyou would listen to him for once. His eyes rounded when Inuyasha suddenly screeched to a halt.

"Inuyasha?" All three of them asked, perplexed to why their hanyou friend had stopped.

Inuyasha frowned, there was no mistake. "Kagome!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I have woven part of the ending into this chapter. But I shall not say more. And in case you guys wonder, Kagome was suffering from a mild case of hypothermia... To my reviewers, thank you very much! I am still not accustomed to fanfiction and I can't reply to you guys directly... so I would like to express my gratitude here! Im a review whore. )

The next chapter will be the last to "Fate" and I do not know when it will be done. I will however update it in my LJ ( if you want to check. Feel free to ask me questions by emailing me too!

Many thanks to these two lovely ladies for beta-ing:  
- Jadednamida  
- Parsnip

Till then. ;)


	23. Chapter 23

**The Long Awaited Battle.**

Glossary:

ningen - human  
hamaya - purifying arrow  
kehai - the feeling of sensing Shikon no kakkera  
obi - sash (worn around the waist)  
chichi-ue - respectful way of addressing one's father  
kekai - barrier  
daijoubu desu ka - are you alright?  
ike - go!  
abunee - dangerous!  
muda na - no use  
demo - but  
yakamashii - shut up  
doo desu ka - how is it?  
dame yo - no good/don't do it!  
shi ne - die  
dakara - therefore  
nani o shite iru - what are you doing?  
chirei - scatter  
tatakai - fight  
wakatta - I know!  
shin da - dead  
mitte - look  
mou - argh!  
chikushou - f--k (or something to that effect)  
tasukete - help!  
yare yare - my my.  
mata ne! - see you!  
kisama nani o suru! - what the heck are you doing bastard!  
wakaranai - I don't understand

* * *

**_"For the sin they do by two and two they must pay for one by one."_**

**- Rudyard Kipling.**

* * *

"Kanna!" Kagome gasped loudly and took a wary step back as she subconsciously tightened her grip on his clawed hand and her bow. Sesshoumaru narrowed his golden eyes and took a good look at the intruders while Jaken and Rin retreated to the far back with Ah-Un.

Kanna halted and gestured for Chiyo to do the same. She then tilted her mirror until it faced the ground and bowed her head slightly.

"Sesshoumaru, I have come to pledge my allegiance to you."

From the corner of his eye, he could see that Kagome was extremely tense and that her large eyes were fixed on Kanna's mirror. He wondered to himself what could a mirror possibly do to them, and why she was so afraid of this child. At the same time, he was still trying to decide whether she was a youkai or ningen since he could not sense any traces of youki nor smell the scent of ningen on her. But, his eyebrows did not arch up in surprise nor shock, nor did he move an inch when he replied calmly, "I do not need it. Leave us."

Kanna expected this and knew that even though the taiyoukai had lost his memory, he was still a cautious person and probably did not care for an alliance with her. She released a small breath of relief when Chiyo had indeed not struck and stood obediently behind her.

"Sesshoumaru, Naraku has requested your head. We have been sent for this purpose," she paused, but he did not respond other than to let go of Kagome's hand; it was as if he was not ruffled by her heinous threat at all.

Kagome frowned hard and bit down on her lower lip; Sesshoumaru had just regained his sight and she was not sure how ready he was for a battle with Kanna. Tenseiga was still with Toutousai, and for that Kagome cursed inwardly at their luck. She knew that he still had Toukijin with him, but what if he did not survive? Perhaps Tenseiga would protect him since it was especially given to him by Inu no Taisho? Maybe she could wield it and revive him if the worst happened?

_"And what if you die?"_ The rational side asked back Kagome as she quietly took out an arrow from the quiver slung at her back, hoping that she would not have to use her hamaya. She took a deep breath and stole a quick peek at Sesshoumaru; he was expressionless as usual and she wondered what was going through his mind. Would she be able to coordinate with him? Would she be able to help him? Or would she become a hindrance instead? She reasoned that he would protect her, and if he was dead, then her existence would be meaningless. He occupied so much of her heart and her soul that she thought she would be as empty as Kanna if he was gone from the face of this earth. Kagome shuddered inwardly at this self-reached conclusion and forced herself to keep a careful look at Rin and Jaken instead.

"Naraku has tried to kill you before, but as the seer predicted, you did not die," Kanna continued.

Kagome's eyes rounded at this new piece of information. _Was Naraku the one who had poisoned his eyes? Seer?_

"Seer?" he asked. Now this weird child had roused his curiosity.

Kanna shifted her feet to the right and distanced herself further away from Chiyo.

"Hai. Naraku sought her out, and she predicted that Inuyasha and you will be the ones to cause his downfall. Dakara, he has been very conscientious in trying to get rid both of you. I have come to pledge my loyalty, for I do not wish to be under him anymore. I desire my freedom as much as Kagura."

"Are you saying that you are going to betray Naraku?" Kagome could not believe her ears. But then again, nothing was impossible in this world. Kagura had died for the same cause, and had in the process saved Kohaku from Hakudoushi and Mouryoumaru.

The nihility youkai nodded her head, feeling a little weary at having to explain her motives and intentions. Afterall, she was not used to holding conversations that lasted more than five minutes with anyone. She took a quick glance at Chiyo and realized that she was still standing in front of Sesshoumaru without any fear nor anxiety reflected in her eyes, but neither tensed nor relaxed.

"Hmm," Sesshoumaru pondered over her words and thought that for the longest time in his life, this seemed to be something interesting and exciting for him to look into. His arch enemy was plotting his death, while his subordinate was right before him, trying to use him to obtain her much desired freedom away from the clutches of Naraku. But before he could continue to further digest the information, Kagome spoke.

"Are you saying that Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru will defeat Naraku?"

Kanna nodded her head, wondering to herself perhaps she did not look sincere or honest enough. She could hardly fault them since she had tried to steal Kagome's soul into her magical mirror before.

Kagome shook her head and took another step back. She could not bring herself to believe what Kanna had just said; perhaps it was another twisted trickery of Naraku's, or a specially woven trap for them. Why had Kanna sought out Sesshoumaru and her? Why did she not look for Inuyasha first? And who was that weird girl beside Kanna? Kagome could feel the tainted kehai of a Shikon no kakkera from her forehead and knew that she was another detachment of Naraku's. But why did Kanna bring her? Was she her accomplice?

Too many questions bombarded her mind, and her head hurt as never before as she took another glance at Rin and Jaken for assurance. She looked at Sesshoumaru again and saw the thoughtful look in his eyes. She wished she could tell him, ask him, or just pull him away. Something did not feel right to her. She was not sure which side Kanna was on, but her presence brought an ominous feeling along with it, like the calm before the devastating storm. The silent girl beside Kanna made her uneasy too. Her blank stare reminded Kagome of the old Kohaku whose mind was controlled by Naraku, and she could not help but to tremble inwardly.

"Why? How would I know whether you are lying to us or not? We can't trust you," Kagome spoke out warily and gestured for Jaken and Rin to move further behind. They took the hint and promptly hid behind Ah-Un's tensed body, whose bright yellow eyes were keeping a tab on the intruders.

Kanna lowered her head for a moment, and replied softly, "There is nothing I can do to vouch for my honesty."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed by a fraction while he took out Toukijin from his obi and pointed it at Chiyo, "Kill her, and I will take you under my wing."

Kagome's deep brown irises widened at his words; was he really going to trust Kanna? She had not told him about the nihility youkai before but surely he could sense her own hesitation and the trap that they might be laying out for them?

The nihility youkai swiftly shook her head and took another step back, further distancing herself from Chiyo. "Chiyo is sent by Naraku to take your head. I do not think that I am able to take her down."

Kagome frowned. If what Kanna had said was true, then why did Chiyo not attack them? She was standing there motionlessly like a block of wood, and she wondered whether she was capable of defeating Sesshoumaru. She looked up to Sesshoumaru, and was a little unnerved at the small smirk that graced his fair face.

"Sesshoumaru, something is not right. Don't fight, let's just leave!" Kagome pleaded.

But he did not look nor reply to Kagome. Instead, the smirk remained and Sesshoumaru rested his weight lazily on the lowered Toukijin. This was getting more interesting than he had thought, and somehow, he felt that there was more than what it seemed to him. He knew that Kagome was right, and he too felt that something was not really proper. But then again, when was the world ever right? To him, it was always chaotic and disordered; even though somewhere in his mind he knew that there was some hierarchy and unknown force behind that drives it onwards. But he also knew that he was not one of the higher hierarchy and to be driven mercilessly by that unknown force did not make him happy at all.

The only 'peace' that he ever knew was when his chichi-ue ruled and reigned over his lands with reason and strength, and even then, the peace that he saw was surface and fleeting. One had to close one eye over the murky disturbances that lay beneath the lower orders and forms of life who struggled to live within the so-called 'rules and regulations' of Life; or what the humans called 'laws and conscience'. And only when the chaos crept into his realm of carefully-protected tranquility and reality did he have to weed out the parasitic causes.

Sesshoumaru was never an easily-angered or rash person; nor was he a busybody who wanted to know every reason behind everything that happened, because he knew that there would be none. This was the way he believed the world worked, and so was Life itself, until Kagome came. But she was an unusual exception to the game of Life, and the once tightly-held peace was all lost to the air when his chichi-ue passed away. From then on, Sesshoumaru felt that it was his turn to uphold his chichi-ue's right and duty to instill some order into his world that he tried to expand, although he would not follow in his predecessor's ways since it did not work well at all.

He wanted to be at the top of the hierarchy, not to be pushed nor herded around Life's ways like a senseless cow. And that was why he had convinced himself that he ought to control his Fate, not the other way round. Sesshoumaru believed it to be possible, because if he did not, then Life would be very dreadful and hopeless. And so, he did his very best to try to make out some order and control through the chaos and disruption through Life, because ithat/i was also the only thing he could do.

He smiled bitterly to himself, amazed that he could remember so much about his chichi-ue and_ her_ but almost none about anything else. He continued to fix his stare at Kanna and thought she was just another disorder thrown into his life that he either had to right it, or remove it.

"So, you want me to kill her, and save you then?" Kagome thought that she had never heard him more amused and sarcastic at the same time. Was he mocking her, or playing with her? She would never understand the acute, battling mind of a taiyoukai, she told herself resignedly.

Kanna shot another nervous glance at Chiyo and frowned a little. Something was not right; Chiyo should have struck by now if she wanted to keep her life. Did she have other orders from Naraku? Or was she not loyal to him, too? Or was she simply stupid, not recognizing that she was betraying her out to Sesshoumaru? Kanna nodded her head and replied, "ee."

Kagome frowned; she was getting desperate at the time that had passed which they could have used to their advantage to leave. It was simply not prudent to fight when Jaken and Rin were still with them, and try as she might, she could not figure out what were his plans or motives. _Or maybe I'm just so used to Inuyasha jumping right into the action and try to kill everyone._ Kagome sighed inwardly to herself and fingered the arrow in her right hand.

"I do not care for her," Sesshoumaru threw a disdainful glance at Chiyo and continued coolly, "in return for your safety, I want you to bring me to Naraku."

Kagome's lips parted. She could not believe her ears that he had said that. Was that an alliance? Agreement? Treaty?

Kanna nodded her head in relief, "Demo as I have said, the seer had mentioned that you will need to work with Inuyasha."

His eyebrows straightened grimly, "I will not work with him," and tightened his grip over Toukijin's wrapped hilt.

The nihility youkai noticed it, and bowed her head further, "I am merely reporting what she has said. Besides, Inuyasha is bound to seek Naraku too."

"Are you really telling us the truth?" Kagome knew that this question was stupid, but she had to assure herself since there had to be some amount of mutual trust if they were to work together, if that was anything what Sesshoumaru had in mind.

Before Kanna could say anything, she heard a small startled gasp from Kagome. Her black eyes rounded as never before and she swung her head back, _Byakuya!_

The illusionist youkai was now flying towards them in his gigantic paper crane, and swarms of youkai were following tightly behind him, mildly resembling a humongous mass of black and purple howling cloud. Kanna took a step back and glanced at Chiyo nervously; there was now a hungry sparkle in her crimson eyes that reminded her eerily of Naraku.

Sesshoumaru's eyebrows dipped, and he stood in front of Kagome protectively with Toukijin raised. _Nothing would ever be right_, he mused and gathered his youki to himself, ready for battle.

"Byakuya!" Kanna gripped her magical mirror and stared. Whatever was Naraku thinking or planning! Had he discovered? Or had that damned Byakuya turned her out? Questions raced through her mind as she continued, "Nani o shite iru!"

Byakuya hopped off the paper crane which promptly burst into a ball of flames and folded his arms lazily, "What do you think I am doing? I'm on Naraku's orders, of course. I can't ignore him you know."

Kanna thought that she had never ever hated anything before, but now she knew that if it had to be something, then it would be his smirk. How dare he turn her in to Naraku! She fingered the smooth, cold rim of her magical mirror and smiled, "Part of your soul is still with my mirror. If you dare to-"

A splintered, clinking sound was instantly heard. Kanna looked down and realized to her horror that her mirror had cracked. She never thought it was even possible and before she knew it, her legs gave way to the strain of shock it had on her mind and fell to the ground like a lifeless doll. Byakuya's eyes widened as a thick yellow, glowing strand floated out from the rim of her mirror and shot for his body. He felt a sudden jolt in his core as if he had been shaken up, sorted out and rearranged. He smiled to himself,_ so this was what Naraku had in mind!_

"Kanna!" Kagome gasped loudly and rushed to her side before Sesshoumaru could stop her.

"Daijoubu desu ka!" Kagome lifted Kanna up against her chest and never thought that she could look paler than she was previously. Her skin was cold, slightly clammy, and she was also incredibly light. In fact, she was too light, as if Kagome was lifting nothing more than a bag of bones, and she doubted that the density of bones could be that little.

"Ho?" Byakuya lurched his head forward and smiled, "are you dying now Kanna?"

Kagome stiffened; _her mirror! Kanna must be..._ She only knew that the mirror was her weapon, but she never thought that it was linked to her life too. _If so... then... then she was not bluffing us!_

"Kanna! Hang on!" Kagome gripped her small childish hands tightly and hoped that it helped, although she knew that it would not. But Kanna did not say anything or move; perhaps all of her strength had left with the destruction of her magical mirror. For the first time in her life, Kagome saw fear, sorrow and misery reflected in her not-so-empty large eyes and pitied her. Kanna died with her eyes open, and Kagome felt like crying. Kanna was just a child like Souta, she told herself and tried to close her eyes to no avail.

Sesshoumaru frowned, what was Kagome doing! Putting herself directly in front of danger's line and away from him! _Females and their lack of logic_, he told himself as he commanded sternly, "Kagome."

But she did not respond. Kagome laid Kanna down gently and fixed her arrow onto the string of her bow, "Byakuya! You murdered her!"

"That was Naraku, not me, you stupid foolish miko," Byakuya grinned and snapped his fingers, at which the youkai started to gather and collect behind him, darkening the bright skies above them and giving out eerie, loud grunts and screams for their thirst of blood, souls and flesh.

Kagome frowned hard at the malice that surrounded her and thought of Kagura, Kohaku and Kanna. The unnecessary deaths, the torture of their souls, and the sorrow of their lives.

_Ike!_

The bright glowing pink hamaya was released from her fingers flying straight towards Byakuya. But before it could reach him, Chiyo jumped up and caught the hamaya in her bare hands.

Sesshoumaru's lips parted in utter shock; Kagome gasped again as a drop of perspiration trickled down her face.

The bright pink hamaya retained its glow as Chiyo landed on her feet like a cat. She drove the hamaya into the ground and stared at Kagome, who blinked twice to make sure that she was not seeing illusions. The skin on Chiyo's hand was not even burnt at all; how could it be!

Byakuya laughed, as he observed the countenances of both taiyoukai and miko. No one would have expected Chiyo to be capable of such a thing, not even he could until Naraku told him. "Are you surprised? Sesshoumaru, do you think that she is able to kill you?"

Sesshoumaru glared at the illusionist youkai's taunt and waved Toukijin across, releasing huge amounts of youki with it, "Soryuuha!"

Crackling blue bursts of energy sped forward like lightning but Byakuya managed to pick Chiyo and hurled themselves out from danger's way.

"Abunee!" Byakuya turned his relieved head around and saw that a considerable portion of the youkai swarm was wiped out.

"Sesshoumaru! There are endless of them, you know," Byakuya mocked with an evil smile on his face while Chiyo stood silently beside him.

Kagome ran to Sesshoumaru's side and released another hamaya, which was deflected again by Chiyo effortlessly, as if she swatting nothing more than a fly.

"Muda na, don't you _understand_? Chiyo has miko powers!" Byakuya continued as he folded his arms again.

"Hmph," Sesshoumaru snorted. But before he could attack again, he heard a shout, which sounded oddly familiar.

"KAGOME!"

Inuyasha's heart prattled as never before as he rushed to her with all his might. _Kagome is with him,_ he jumped over a wild hedge as the ground beneath him turned into a blur of browns, whites and sparse greens; _she's surrounded by Byakuya and youkai_, his right clawed hand found itself wrapped around the hilt of Tessaiga; _she's in danger_, Inuyasha brandished out the transformed fang and yelled again.

"KAZE NO KIZU!"

Kagome stiffened, and felt her legs going wobbly at her knees. The familiar bright yellow youki-fork burst through the swarm of youkai; Byakuya and Chiyo both ducked to opposite sides while the youkai behind them crumbled to angry dust and ashes.

When the cloud of dust had finally settled down, Kagome thought that she might faint. Inuyasha was standing before her, in all his glory with the magnificent, transformed Tessaiga held in both hands while he put up his grim, frowning look that he always had when he was in a battle. Miroku and Sango were behind him on Kirara, and Shippou was clutching tightly to Inuyasha's red fire-rat haori. Their facial expressions were indescribable and undecipherable; Kagome swallowed down a lump in her throat.

She felt as if she had been caught red-handed while stealing, or on the bed with her lover, and also like a slut or prostitute. Kagome felt deeply ashamed too, to the barrage of reasons and thoughts that were hurling itself against the doors of her mental sanity again. Unknown feelings rose to her heart at the sight of Inuyasha; something was shining in his golden eyes that she had never seen before. Was that hurt? Betrayal? Sorrow? Misery? Love? Fear? Despise? Anger? Relief? Joy? Or just simply, betrayal?

Her knees failed her and Kagome slumped to the ground, her bow slipping carelessly from her fingers. Had Toutousai told Inuyasha? Or was he merely following Byakuya? Or did Kikyou tell him? Perhaps he went to her house and discovered that she was not in Tokyo? Did Souta tell him anything? Did Inuyasha suspect anything then? Kagome closed her eyes; she had never expected such a 'reunion' and was afraid that she would really collapse. Another yell jerked her away from the mental strain that she was exerting on her brain and she looked up wearily.

"Kagome! Daijoubu ka!" Inuyasha frowned and scowled at the same time.

Kagome's heart warmed; that was her Inuyasha, who always asked her that same question.

"Kagome!"

"Kagome-chan!"

"Kagome-sama!"

She smiled at her friends, and nodded her head weakly, "ee, daijoubu desu..."

Sesshoumaru suddenly felt alienated, and oddly calm. Inuyasha was here for her. She could return to him.

"Ho? Some reunion we have here..." Byakuya commented in mock curiosity as he continued and jerked his finger at Kagome, "Inuyasha, why is she with your brother?"

The hanyou gritted his teeth but did not reply. "Kagome, get out of here! It's dangerous!"

"Demo..." Kagome protested, although she could find no reason to.

"She is safe with me," Sesshoumaru did not know why he had said that. Was it out of a pique of jealousy, or possessiveness? But the words had left his mouth, and he did not stop to think more about it, since the more important issue was to deal with Byakuya and Chiyo.

"Temee, I'm not asking you!" Inuyasha was really trying his very best to ignore Sesshoumaru's presence.

"Hanyou, concentrate," Sesshoumaru raised Toukijin and thought that Inuyasha was indeed as what Kagome had described.

"Baka Inuyasha! We should be fighting as one, not quarrelling!" Shippou exclaimed as he hopped to safety, which was on Miroku's shoulder. Miroku and Sango nodded their heads in unison and thought that this was also the worst situation for all of them to be in, especially for Kagome, who could only sit on the ground until strength returned to her jelly-like legs.

Byakuya laughed out loud, although he felt a shred of panic and fear that Chiyo might not be able to handle all of them. He would have to personally tackle the houshi and taijiya and keep Chiyo free to deal with the two inu-brothers. "Inuyasha! Sesshoumaru is right; you should listen to your elder brother you know!"

"Yakamashii! Who is asking for your opinion here you bastard!" Inuyasha swung Tessaiga angrily at him, while Miroku frowned hard at the girl-child beside Byakya. Was she the new underling? He noticed that Kanna was lying lifelessly at one side and wondered who had killed her. Things were more severe and grave than he had thought, if Kanna had been killed by Naraku, since there was no blood on Toukijin.

But the illusionist youkai merely smiled, "Chiyo."

All pairs of eyes rounded at the transformation that took place before their eyes, except for Sesshoumaru who stood regally and calmly although his fingers tightened its grip over Toukijin's hilt.

"Wah..." Shippou's jaw dropped as Chiyo's soft black hair turned stark vermillion while her black irises switched to a bright hue of royal purple. Miroku fingered the beads that covered his Kazaana while Sango took to the skies on Kirara and kept a watchful eye on the youkai looming behind them.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, Inuyasha-sama, doo desu ka! Chiyo possesses both youki and miko powers, and you two will be the first to get a taste of her power! How does that sound?" Byakuya took out the katana from his back and grinned widely. _Finally!_

"Don't fool with me you fucking bastard!" Inuyasha swung Tessaiga out at Chiyo and yelled, "Kaze no Kizu!"

"Dame yo!" Miroku shouted as Chiyo flipped over the Kaze no Kizu like an acrobat and landed straight in front of Inuyasha; who was stunned for a moment at her agility. Chiyo promptly stretched out her hands and wrapped them around Inuyasha's neck.

"Shi ne," her voice was soft, cold yet calm at the same time. Inuyasha's eyes rounded instantly and yelled out in pain as her hands glowed bright pink. He could hear the sizzling sounds that her contact was making on the skin of his neck and realized that he was in so much pain that he could not even lift Tessaiga to hack her. _Is this how it feels to be purified?_ Inuyasha thought to himself while Kagome screamed as loudly as possible.

"INUYASHA!"

Without another word, Sesshoumaru dashed forward and aimed Toukijin at Chiyo, who at the last minute decided to let go of Inuyasha's neck and jumped back.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku, Sango and Shippou cried out at the same time, all worried for his safety.

"Oi, your enemy is me, don't look away!" Byakuya took out five long lotus blossoms from his long sleeve and threw them high up into the sky, "chirei!"

As the pristine white lotus blossoms were scattered, shreds of it turned into small, sharp scalpels that fluttered through the skies. Miroku, Sango and Shippou suddenly found themselves alone, as if they were transported away to a foreign place and they could not hear anything nor feel the presence of their friends.

"Miroku, this is an illusion! We are trapped inside!" Shippou covered his head.

"And these are sharp!" Sango winced as one lotus-shred cut her cheek, blood dribbling down to her chin. Miroku swung his Shakoju around, trying to deflect the deadly shreds while he cursed, "They are diverting us away from Inuyasha and Kagome! That Chiyo is dangerous! We need to get out of this! Shippou!"

The kitsune shook his head and cried as he felt another lotus-shred cutting across the tip of his ear. "I can't do anything, Byakuya is too strong for me! We need to defend ourselves first!"

"Houshi-sama!" Sango used her katana and tried to fling the lotus-shreds away before she and Kirara got too badly cut-up. The knives-shreds did not seem to end and it was as if it was snowing lotus blossoms constantly

Miroku thought hard as the ringing of Shakoju resounded through his ears, "Sango! Shippou! Come to me!" He stuck his Shakoju into the ground and crossed his legs in lotus-style, "I will put up a kekai for us, I think it might work!"

Byakuya grinned as he reclined back on his paper crane and looked at the translucent glowing barrier, "Let's see who will last longer, ne?"

Sango looked as beads of perspiration and blood collected at the tip of his chin. They would be safe under his kekai as long as he continued to pray and focus, but to how long it would last, she had no idea. She took out a handkerchief and wiped his face, "houshi-sama..."

But Miroku did not open his eyes, and prayed hard inwardly that Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru would quickly settle everything before his body and mind gave out. He had to protect Sango, Shippou and Kirara for as long as he could. They would not die here.

"Sesshoumaru!" Kagome thought that she might go crazy too, from her worry and anxiety for both the inu-brothers. She forced herself to stand up and ran over to Inuyasha, hoping that he was not hurt too badly.

The taiyoukai glanced over his right shoulder and at that instant; Kagome thought that he wanted to say something. But Sesshoumaru remained silent and she felt wretched, seeing him challenging Chiyo alone while she remained behind nursing his otouto. Was things supposed to be like that? She asked herself and thought that she could feel his sadness radiating from that silent glance. Kagome wanted to be out there in the battlefield, to be by his side and to help him.

But, Inuyasha was hurt. And he was there too.

Kagome closed her eyes and placed her hands over Inuyasha's burnt neck, "Inuyasha, stay still."

The hanyou obeyed silently as Kagome somewhat tried to heal the wounds. His black eyebrows drooped to the sides as he watched his love at work on his neck. The way she squeezed her eyes shut, the wetness that lined her lush black lashes, the tension in her narrow shoulders, told him something that he did not want to know. What had exactly happened? Why was Kagome with Sesshoumaru? Did she love him, or him? His head hurt, his neck hurt, and he wished that he could kill Chiyo, Byakuya and Sesshoumaru.

Kagome was not his. He belonged to Kikyou. So why was he so angry? So hurt? Why did he even feel betrayed when he had already told Kagome that they could never be together?

_But... Yet... Still..._ Inuyasha closed his eyes.

He loved Kagome, and he knew that she loved him. Where did Sesshoumaru stand in her heart then?

"Inuyasha, this is all I can do. Please be careful," Kagome withdrew from him and took out an arrow from her quiver and nocked it on the string, trying to aim at Chiyo. She knew that it did not work against her, but that could prove to be a source of distraction which might aid Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha opened his eyes and saw a look of determination in Kagome's deep brown irises. The questions would have to wait until this battle was over, he told himself as he fingered his neck gently and picked up the transformed Tessaiga.

"Kagome, stay behind!" Inuyasha growled and ran forward to join the battle, not willing to lose to Sesshoumaru. She nodded her head and bit her lower lip, _stay calm! If not I can't help any of them!_

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes as Chiyo's glowing pink hands made a grab for his empty sleeve. He could feel the cackling energy of her purifying ki near his left shoulder stump and swiftly swung Toukijin down on her outstretched hands. But Chiyo was equally fast and instantly released her fingers away from his sleeve.

_So she attempts to purify me bare-handed huh_, he delivered a side kick to her legs, flipped backwards and landed gracefully on the ground. Sesshoumaru took a quick glance at Ah-Un's direction and realized that they were still safe while they hid behind the draconic beast.

Inuyasha crashed Tessaiga onto the ground when Chiyo skidded backwards and halted to a stop. "Kaze no KIZU!"

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed at the monstrous blast of energy, he thought he somewhat remembered this attack and looked fondly at Tessaiga. Did Inuyasha inherit that powerful katana from his chichi-ue too? Was he even worthy to wield that katana? He thought Inuyasha's swings were not smooth, efficient nor precise at all. In fact, it looked to him that the hanyou was waving the fang wildly around like a butcher or madman.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried out as Chiyo spun around herself on her left foot, while she made a big circle with her right. She was like a small spinning top that Shippou often played, her speed was incredibly fast and all they could see was the light pink glow that swirled out from the winds that resulted from her demon-like spinning, neutralizing the youki of the approaching Kaze no Kizu.

"Impossible!" Inuyasha's jaw dropped as his Kaze no Kizu disappeared within the purifying mini tornado that Chiyo had created. Without another word, Sesshoumaru called forth a string of his acid-youki whip and flung it out at her. They could hear the loud crackling and whipping sounds when his youki-whip came into contact with her purifying spin and when Chiyo slowed down to a stop, there was a hungry greedy look in her eyes that unnerved both Inuyasha and Kagome.

"Tatakai!" was the only word that came out from her mouth as she bent forward and panted a little.

"Sesshoumaru! Inuyasha! There's a Shikon no kakkera in her forehead!" Kagome shouted and aimed her hamaya at her forehead, since that was the only place her hamaya might work on Chiyo.

"Ah wakatta!" Inuyasha frowned and both brothers charged forward, trying to keep Chiyo as occupied as possible while Kagome tried to look for an opportunity. If she missed, Inuyasha or Sesshoumaru would get hurt. She shook her head to dispel the worrying thoughts, "Try to keep her still!"

"How the hell am I supposed to do that!" Inuyasha shouted in frustration while Sesshoumaru frowned hard; this was a difficult, tricky situation and although he did not want to work with Inuyasha, he had to make sure that the hanyou was at least in one piece because Kagome cared for him too. Upon that thought, he felt a little bitter and jealous but decided that it was no use since there was no future for him and her.

Kagome's eyes widened as Sesshoumaru grabbed onto Chiyo's right arm. Upon seeing that, Inuyasha instantly grabbed for her left arm and Kagome could see the pain on their faces while Chiyo's body glowed a bright intense pink. She prayed to Heavens that her one and only shot would be as accurate as Kikyou's and concentrated on the tip of the arrow like never before.

"IKE!" Kagome released her hamaya and ran towards them.

The arrow struck true at the middle of her forehead and two inu-brothers instantly released their badly charred hands from her. Inuyasha could hear her skull cracking as Chiyo fell back lifelessly from the impact of the hamaya. Kagome pounced onto her anxiously; half-amazed that only the tip of the arrow was lodged in her forehead, and half-doubtful that she had actually got her. She pulled her hamaya out effortlessly and quickly extracted the once tainted Shikon no kakkera from the small wound.

"Shin da!" Inuyasha ignored the burning pain in his hand and knelt beside Kagome who returned the shard into the bottle around her neck.

"Iie, she's breathing..." Kagome frowned as she peered into Chiyo's dulled irises, wondering how anyone could ever possibly survive that and whether her skull was also made of diamond.#

"Kagome, move away," Sesshoumaru commanded and before they could say anything, he plunged Toukijin straight through Chiyo's heart and she jerked up. Kagome gasped and flinched as he pulled out Toukijin gracefully and gave it a careless wipe on Chiyo's yukata. At that moment, she thought that the old Sesshoumaru had returned, and that thought worried her greatly.

Inuyasha was oblivious to the discomfort that Kagome felt and growled as Chiyo's blood splattered onto his hakamas and Tessaiga.

"Oi Sesshoumaru! I haven't asked her about Naraku yet!"

The taiyoukai glared at the hanyou, and thought that if it was not for Kagome, he would have swiftly decapitated Inuyasha's head. "This Sesshoumaru do not need to answer to you, _hanyou_."

"Inuyasha, mitte!" Kagome pulled on his sleeves and pointed to Tessaiga which was now sprinkled with Chiyo's pale red blood. The fang was now enveloped in a light pink glow, and they could see the droplets of blood slowly disappearing into the blade.

"Huh?" Tessaiga was differentn now; Inuyasha could feel the change to it, as if it was lighter and more powerful. Sesshoumaru let out a derisive snort as he slid Toukijin back into his obi, and tried not to feel neglected now that Kagome was paying more attention to Inuyasha.

"Where is Miroku-sama and Sango-chan? Shippou?" Kagome suddenly realized that she had not seen nor heard her friends while they were battling Chiyo. All three turned their faces around and noticed that they were alone. Something was not right; it was so quiet and still that the silence bore into their ears.

"Mou! Must be Byakuya!" Kagome cried out in frustration as thick mist started to gather around them in white cloudy, pillars.

"Chikushou! Miroku! Sango! Shippou!" Inuyasha yelled out but there was no response, not even echoes could be heard. The mist was thickening and all he could see was the transformed Tessaiga in his own hand.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and spoke_ very_ calmly, "Kagome, shoot your hamaya into the sky."

Kagome nodded her head and at the same time, was worried for her friend's safety. Would they be safe? As she pulled an arrow out from her quiver, she suddenly felt someone's breath on her fingers. But before she could scream, a hard hit was delivered at the base of her skull and blackness engulfed her mind.

"SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!"

As the high-pitched, unmistakable scream resounded through the mist, the illusion wavered like a disturbed, rippling lake reflection and disappeared as fast as it had appeared. At that very instant, bright, glaring sunlight filtered into the place and Inuyasha could see his friends hiding under Miroku's kekai. "Miroku! Sango! Daijoubu ka!"

"Byakuya!" Inuyasha cursed the illusionst youkai while Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth and glared, red bleeding into his golden eyes. He recognized that voice, for he had heard it in his dreams so many, many times. But Sesshoumaru never once thought that she had to call out for his aid for real and upon that realization, his anger multiplied a hundred-fold.

"Tasukete Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin squealed and kicked hard while a youkai wrapped its body tightly around her and flew to Byakuya who was still seated on his paper crane.

"Release her!" Sesshoumaru growled, winds of youki started to swirl around him in a mad rush while his canine teeth lengthened.

"Hmm... where is Kagome?" Byakuya laughed out loud.

Upon that question, the two inu-brothers turned around, but Kagome was nowhere to be found! Realization dawned upon both brothers that Byakuya had used his illusion to dull their senses and had taken her away right under their noses.

"Temee!" Inuyasha gritted his teeth while Miroku, Sango and Shippou flew to him on Kirara.

"Dame yo Inuyasha! You will hurt Kagome-sama if you use Kaze no Kizu!" Miroku by now was exhausted beyond description as he held on tightly to Kirara's thick furs.

"Kagome!" Shippou cried and berated himself for not being able to help out.

"Yare yare..." Byakuya snapped his fingers and another humongous crane appeared by his side, with the unconscious Kagome draped over its paper-like body. "Did you really think that we were really after your lives? Haha!"

"Kagome-chan!" Sango cried out and almost flung out her youkai boomerang when Miroku stopped her, "Sango!"

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened so much that he thought they might tear, his nostrils flared and he balled his clawed hand, ignoring the blood and pain. Kagome was captured by Byakuya, he had failed to protect her and Rin, he had failed to see that coming. He was furious, so furious at himself that his eyes seemed to be on flames again and he felt a little light-headed from the anger and blood that were rushing to his head. He wanted to growl, to bite, to claw, and to kill.

Yes, the kill. It was always familiar, the urge to kill to relieve his stress and tension.

Inuyasha ran and jumped high up into the air, Tessaiga poised in his hand wanting to hack off Byakuya's head. But before he could get near, Byakuya turned around and disappeared before his eyes, along with Kagome and Rin. "Mata ne!"

"Aaah!" Shippou's hair stood on his end when a bright string of youki suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Sesshoumaru!" Inuyasha growled and ducked to one side as the bright green whip retracted to its master. "Kisama nani o suru!"

The taiyoukai did not reply but hurled his whip at the hanyou relentlessly, while Inuyasha gritted his teeth and did his best to duck the acidic attacks. The thin trees were sliced into miserable pathetic chunks as the whip chased after Inuyasha like a mad dog.

"Houshi-sama! Is he mad!" Sango thought that the worst that could happen was for the two brothers to start their sibling fight now. She helped Miroku down Kirara and took his Shakoju while Shippou hopped onto his lap.

Miroku frowned and shook his head as perspiration clouded his vision, "Wakaranai... but it might have something to do with Kagome and our sudden arrival..."

"SESSHOUMARU!" Inuyasha blocked the deadly whip with Tessaiga and thanked Kami that the youkai fang could withstand it, "do you want to kill me now!"

Sesshoumaru retracted his string of youki and whipped out Toukijin. The two demonic blades crashed against each other and both brothers skidded in opposite directions from the impact. But he did not stop; instead he swiftly regained his footing and charged for Inuyasha again.

The hanyou was puzzled, angered, curious and jealous. Many questions were revolving in his mind like a merry-go-round and he wanted to give his brother a good piece of mind, although he had no idea what he could say. For now, he just wanted to thrash him, and perhaps kill him since it was partly the taiyoukai's fault that he got distracted from Kagome.

"ARGHHH!" Inuyasha spun on his bare foot and blocked another swing from Toukijin as he shouted, "Why are you with Kagome!"

Sesshoumaru did not keep quiet this time round. She was his. No matter where she went or who she chose; because she would always belong to him in his world.

"Listen Sesshoumaru! Kagome is with me, and I am going to save her! Don't stand in my way!" Inuyasha tried to kick Sesshoumaru but to no avail.

"Hanyou, I do not need to explain my intentions to you and I do not want to repeat myself!" Sesshoumaru raised Toukijin to arm-level and gave it a big wave, "SORYUUHA!"

Inuyasha's golden eyes rounded as he stuck Tessaiga down to the ground and used it to shelter himself from the attack. _He really wants to kill me fucking bastard!_

Before the dust settled down, Inuyasha yanked Tessaiga out from the dry earth, "KAZE NO KIZU!"

Miroku and Shippou dropped their jaws, while Sango gasped loudly.

Sesshoumaru for once thought that he might not be able to evade the bright yellow youki-fork as it sped towards him at a hurricane-like speed. As the yellow glare blinded his eyes, he could feel the angry winds of Kaze no Kizu approaching him and the sensation of Death at his door-step. At that very moment, fright took over his sense of survival and he could only stand there, as past memories jolted and jogged their way back into his mind.

He could no longer see the yellow blur of youki while frames of his memories flew before his eyes like thousands of bamboo scrolls unrolling themselves in front of him with demonic speed. He did not even have the time to feel overwhelmed as sudden pain shot into his eyes and head, which vaguely reminded him of the time he slipped by the door of Death, when he woke up and when he fell over the precipice with Kagome.

Sesshoumaru heard Kagome calling out his name, and the sheath of Tenseiga pulsing before darkness overtook his mind.

* * *

# Inuyasha's Kongousouha is actually gigantic diamond spears.

Note:

I realize that many readers have not read the later chapters of the manga and I would like to point out some facts:

- Kohaku is indeed with Kikyou now.  
- Kouga is dead in my fic, but not in the manga. In fact, he has obtained Goraishi (some sort of claw-like weapon).  
- Kikyou did extract Midoriko's soul from the cave using her soul stealers to heal the wound Naraku had inflicted upon her (because it opened up again.  
- Mouryoumaru did steal Inuyasha's Kongousouha (and the poor boy is trying to retrieve it back now.  
- Byakuya is indeed an illusionist youkai and is a real character in the manga. But I made up his moves and attacks since nothing much is revealed about him yet. He has a katana but he has not used it yet.  
- Kikyou is able to 'control' the Shikon shards to a certain extent, therefore Kohaku follows her (for various reasons) and I remember that she did try to take the shards from Kouga too.

Please correct me if I am wrong.

And finally! This is the last chapter to "Fate"! (lets out a loooooong relieved sigh)

Is it long enough? )

There will be a sequel, and its title will be "**Ten Thousand Cranes**". I know a lot of things were not explained in this chapter, and the ending might seem a little abrupt. But rest assured that the story will unfold properly (I hope so at least!) in the coming "Cranes". I already have the whole plot and storyline in my mind (well I had it all along before I started this) so give me some time, ne?

Will post updates in my LJ, if you guys ever want to know that is.

To ALL my reviewers, iroiro arigatou gozaimashita (thank you for everything)! Your reviews are just like my daily manna you know. I never expected that this would gather so many readers and of course, this would not have been if not for continuous encouragement, support and help from some good friends that I made here in Single Spark.

I will not be long-winded. Sore ja mata! (See you!)

Pseudomonas


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